Posts tagged Booster Gold

I’m happy with this week’s haul. This worries me.

July 13, 2011 · Filed under Uncategorized · Tagged , , , , , , , ,

It’s that time again! Sorry to sound like an awful children’s program, but I’m a little excited about this weeks lineup. Hopefully, some of my excitement is rubbing off on you, and you decide to read onward.

As always, Flashpoint minis and tie-ins will be reviewed in one block.

I’m not sure how much I enjoy Emperor Aquaman. I mean, it’s an Aquaman book, that should speak for itself. I just don’t care for the guy. But lately, it’s like the universe has been trying to force me to like him. Killing off Garth, elevating Mera to new levels of kickass…it’s honestly getting hard to be able to say, “Fuck everyone that lives below the ocean, land is where the cool people live.” And don’t get me wrong, there are definitely some things about this title that make me rage (Tara Markov and Helena Bertinelli are both Female Furies that serve Wonder Woman?! England is essentially a male concentration camp?!), but it’s just, it’s not bad. I feel so conflicted.
It seems to be ‘everyone try and take over the Ravager’ day in the Deathstroke book. Not a great issue, truth be told. There was a big deal made over Slade getting his crew mostly killed, but no big reason as to why we should care. Good first issue, not so good second, the third better be awesome.
I like the Citizen Cold book quite a bit. Lots of cameos from Flash history. For instance, anyone else remember Chunk, the scientist with the black hole in his body? How about Fallout, who powered Iron Heights for a time during the reign of Warden Wolfe? The one thing that really irked me about this issue, and this is a spoiler, is that apparently, yeah, Wally West is dead in this universe. If Flashpoint is supposed to be a gateway to the new 52 come September, does that mean that he’s going to cease to exist? Anyone who knows me knows that I’m not the biggest fan of Wally West but let’s face it, he was always the more compelling Flash.
Fuck the United States government in this world. Fuck it extremely hard in the ear until its collective brain turns to oatmeal. That’s all I have to say about this issue of Booster Gold. I just, I can’t even right now. I can’t.
We now return you to your scheduled programming.

Oh wow. Oh wow. It’s like my eyes and brain had sex with this comic, because holy god. Long, spoiler-filled story short, Hal Jordan isn’t a Green Lantern anymore. Sinestro is. And I, I think I’m going to cry because oh my god were the circumstances just amazing and-
Okay, Geoff. You win. I’ll read a monthly Sinestro book, no problem. You win.
Meanwhile, in Green Lantern Corps…John Stewart killed Mogo. This is the second planet he’s destroyed. Are we focusing on this? Nope, he and a rookie are going to go on a mission to stop war on the planet, get this, Vorrin-Tog. Yup, I’ve got my own planet. Anyway, I like this issue. Green Lantern Corps is supposed to be about Lanterns other than the ones from Sector 2814, and this Qurina character seems interesting. I hope they keep her around.

Batgirl is a consistently good title. Pretty much every issue is worth the cover price, if not more. But what do you get when you have one Batgirl versus five people in super suits? The beginning of an epic team-up. Stargirl, Miss Martian, Bombshell, and Supergirl guest star as what I’ve dubbed ‘team kickassia’. But what I didn’t see coming, for once, was the last page. Someone hired the Reapers to off a guy. The guy? Daddy Brown, of course! As someone who always wanted to see Cluemaster pulled apart by trains, I’m actually pleased by this ending, and where it could go from here.

Red Robin was the second book this week to make me close the book with a resounding ‘What?!’. Okay, so, Cass is still a good guy, Tim wears pints of his own blood on his back, there’s a kid that can fight better, and faster, than Cass, Tam was in love with Tim’s masked identity, and Tim killed Captain Boomerang? That’s one run-on sentence full of WHAT.

I love legacy heroes, and flashback issues. Guess what Birds of Prey is doing this month? It’s time for a trip back to post-War times with Lady Blackhawk and the original Phantom Lady, Sandra Knight, featuring a cameo by the first Dinah Lance. And of course, it’s an arc featuring Nazis. Nazis, to comics, are like the ultimate Earthbound evil, am I right? Anyway, it’s a great issue, though it’s not penned by Gail Simone, but with a cover, and interior art, by Billy Tucci, I don’t care. Can this be the new artist for BoP? Please?

I know I’ve said this before, but I adore Solstice. She’s a nice, normal girl…who happens to have superpowers. She’s a good balance to those angst-buckets who call themselves Teen Titans. Once again, Raven is being a mope. Seriously, what is with this chick? Always spoiling a good time. [Please take note: I'm taking the mick out of Raven because I can; I don't actually bear any ill will towards the character.] And look, Tim is showing humility! Is it Christmas already?! All joking aside, this was a fantastic issue. I’m looking forward to the relationships that will be established between Solstice and the rest of the Teen Titans…until September, when she’ll be wiped out of existence.

That was this week in comics! I’ve got a bit of a ride ahead of me, so I’ve got to get going now. But I’ll be here again next week, same time, same place. Ta!

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My bunk, I will be in it until further notice

June 9, 2011 · Filed under Uncategorized · Tagged , , , , , , , , ,

Flashpoint oh Flashpoint, my heart will sing with glee once you are over. Mainly because I have three titles this week that frankly, I don’t want to read. But I’m going to do it. I’m doing it for all of you. Remember me as a saint and a martyr. Or, if nothing else, remember me as a mildly entertaining babe that fell over dead while reading Emperor Aquaman.

Speaking of which…no. No, I’m not starting my day with that. C’mere, Citizen Cold. So to start, it seems Len Snart may not be under the goggles, and Wally works as a driver for his aunt Iris. Who, you may remember, is not actually married to Barry here. Which leaves Len (not Len?) to hit on her. Pfff oh my god Axel Walker. This kid manages to amuse me every time I see him. He’s apparently the ‘annoying’ villain in Iron Heights. Speaking of the other Rogues, Cold seems to be pretty merciless with them, well, at least to a point. He hasn’t actually killed any of them, not even Mirror Master who everyone thinks is dead, not like he does other people who oppose him. Ooh, now that I like. Citizen Cold really is Len Snart, which we find out when we see him watch his sister get arrested on the news after murdering their father. But a redhead in green is watching him. Could it be…Piper? Well, technically. I’m going to come right out and say that this is a fantastic book so far. Scott Kolins was a great choice to be working on a Cold book, and I’m glad to see him back in the game.
Moving right along to, oh god, Deathstroke and the Curse of the Ravager. Surprisingly, not terrible. The general gist is that Slade is searching the world for his missing daughter, Rose, and killing and plundering any ship that gets in his way. Simple enough, and not worthy of my ire. You may pass unharmed, first issue.
I’ve got no real interest in Frankenstein and the Creatures of the Unknown, so I’ll just be passing it by.
Now on to the real stinker. I’m going to be honest, I don’t give a flying fuck about Aquaman. Never have. He’s just not interesting to me. But this book is being written by Tony Bedard, so I’m sort of required to at least give it a look-see. It actually wasn’t that bad. Basic story of political intrigue followed by betrayal, the death of a lover, yadda yadda yadda. Not bad, actually pretty good, but nothing that I haven’t seen before. I mean, Mera’s death was already spoiled by the variant cover to last week’s issue of the main Flashpoint book, so there’s that. I’ll glance through this book when it comes out, but I’m not planning on buying it.

So I read the two Green Lantern movie prequel comics that came out today. I was pleased to see that apparently, Lantern Iolande and Lantern Kol are going to be in the movie along with some of the better-known Lanterns, according to the Kilowog one-shot. The Tomar-Re one-shot was kind of depressing, though.

Continuing with the Flashpoint tie-ins, Booster Gold! And frankly, it kind of stinks. Booster is on the trail of Zoom, and he’s not doing a great job of it. I’ll be happy when, if, Booster Gold gets back to normal.

Stay classy, Red Robin! Swear to god, I like that book less and less as time goes by. So we go from an assassin tourney in Cairo to Tim about to be raped in Russia over the course of a single issue. That Tim Drake, he loves the ladies soooo much. Please note my sarcasm. What’s next?

I may not be happy about Gail Simone being the writer on the new Batgirl series starring Babs, but damn am I pleased with this issue of Birds of Prey. I love it when Secret Six characters interact with the Birds, and Babs using Catman’s affection for Huntress for information was just inspired. Junior will be back, and I’m on the edge of my seat with anticipation.

Damian, what are you doing? That cover is ridiculous. Dami is all, “Nom! I am eating your wrist, brother!” Precious little kitten. In other news, I’m fainting with joy. Literally slumped over in my chair smiling. I can’t even convey just how much I liked this issue. The art…no. But Judd, Judd darling, dearest, sweetest Judd, you’re redeemed. You’ve managed to seamlessly incorporate all the best parts of Morrison’s Jason and your own, while deleting all the terrible, unnecessary stuff. Way to go, you.

I’m going to have to lay down now, the excitement was simply too much for me. See you lovely people another day.

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In which my feelings for Jason Todd cause my heart to explode

May 19, 2011 · Filed under Uncategorized · Tagged , , , , , , , , , , ,

Eight books…what is this, the second week of the month?! In any case, we’ve got a new series, the ending of an arc, and the beginning of three new arcs, so let’s get to it!

Gates of Gotham begins this week, and christ. I think I may actually like a Batman-focused book. Say what you will about Batman and Robin, but that’s a Damian book and everyone knows it. The books begins in Old Gotham, and ends on a mystery. Who are the ‘four families’ of Gotham? ‘Old money’, obviously. So, Wayne, Elliot, Kane, and..? I’m going to go out on a limb and say Falcone. The Falcones are a mob family, and who really knows how far back their influence goes in Gotham? Alan Wayne built the bridges that were blown up, and Tommy ‘Hush’ Elliot’s name is on one of them, my guess that the third bridge is named after either a Kane or this mysterious fourth family. Okay, Gates of Gotham. I’m intrigued. Carry on.

Miss Martian is starting to turn into an Omega character, I’ve noticed. This is the…third time, I think, she’s been involved in a situation where someone has tried to control her mind, been unable to, and that’s the reason the hero she’s working with is able to win. She’s been showing up as a guest star in other titles lately, too. Hmm, how likely do you think the chance is that DC will resurrect their ‘Teen Titans Spotlight’ mini-series’ and make one about Miss Martian? Oh, and I know that I’m technically talking about the latest issue of Supergirl but c’mon, who do you think was the real star of this issue?

…why does Zatanna see her assistant, Mikey, as a man in her dream? Apparently the dream is based on reality, the reality of three years past. Did Mikey…used to be a man? That’s actually a pretty neat idea, magical sex-change. I’d like to state for the record that very few people beat Paul Dini when it comes to banter. Zatanna’s exchange with the Spectre was just glorious. Oh, and on the darker side of human existence, Brother Night escapes from prison, and the detective that works with Zee sometimes is apparently his son. Crazy world we live in, huh?

The less I say about this month’s Power Girl, the better. There’s going to be an epic shitstorm tonight, ladies and gents, and frankly, I want no part in it.

Can I just say that I love Colu? And Coluans? Especially when they panic? Because face it, if you can startle the smartest, most logical beings in the universe, you know you’re one scary MF. So, anyone else getting sick of Levitz dancing around who Professor Li actually is? Obviously, she’s some kind of immortal. But who? Which one? Of what planet? Stop teasing and tell us, damnit!

You know what? I don’t think I’m going to like Flashpoint very much. Just judging from the Booster Gold crossover, I’m not saying it’s going to suck, I’m just saying that I don’t think I personally will like it.

Oh christ, don’t tell me this is going to be one of those arcs for Teen Titans. Raven’s dad is a demon. Her current body is made of the blood of devil worshippers. We get it, she’s bred to be bad, so she should naturally want to side with the demons. Blah blah blah, wasn’t this story done to death back when Johns was on this book?

And now, the moment I’ve been waiting for for months. Those of you that follow my Tumblr may have some inkling of how much I absofuckinglutely love Jason Todd. Now, my boy has been treated like shit under several pens recently (Tony Daniel and Grant Morrison immediately springing to mind), but now we’re back to basics. We’re back to the guy that made Jason Todd into the Red Hood. If you’ve read this blog in the past, you know how much I loathe Judd Winick. He can’t write women. He can’t write teams. He can’t really write interpersonal relationships. But this man knows how to write Jason Todd. His Under the Hood story, in which the character using the Red Hood nom de crime was revealed to actually be Batman’s dead sidekick Jason Todd, was the first non-Dini written Batman work I’d liked in a while. I expect this three-issue arc to be on par with that. No, really. I expect it. After shitting so thoroughly all over Power Girl and the JLI for the better part of a year, you owe us, Winick. This is it. This is your redemption for making Peeg’s secret ID a Bruce Wayne/Oracle hybrid. This is for molding Ice into some kind of twisted gypsy stereotype. This is for letting us think Jaime was dead.
I’m going to read the book now.
I’m very scared.
What the hell is Roy Harper’s head doing on Jason Todd’s body? I know this is obvious some kind of artist error, so you’re the one to answer for that one, Gulliem March. But this, this is nice. They’re talking. And Bruce’s inner-monologue brings an interesting thought to mind. Jason could ruin everything Bruce has built up, just by revealing his real name. Remember, as far as the rest of the world is concerned, Jason Todd died years ago. Bruce Wayne’s first adopted son is stone cold, worm food, gathering moss. He could tear down the entire legacy by going up to a security guard and going, “Hi, I’m Jason Todd. Want to know everything about Batman?” But he hasn’t. He loves Bruce that much. Because even though he wasn’t avenged, Bruce is still his father.
Oww no you did not just say that Jason oh god why
In case no one was paying attention to Red Hood: The Lost Days, Jason and Talia had a fling. And at the time of said fling, Damian was probably like, five. Maybe six. Jason is rubbing the fact that he had sex with the mother of Bruce’s child in his face. Don’t do this to me, Judd. I already hate you, this is just inviting some kind of verbal threat, and I don’t want to go to jail. Hnnngh, and in an instant, Gulliem March makes me forget why I’m mad. Pretty sure that if I ever found a man that looked like that, and somehow managed to enchant him with my stunning (HA) personality, you folks would never hear from me again. Jesus on wheels, Jason pump a little more iron with your thighs why don’t you! Aaaah and that ridiculous pinup pose after the yard fight…Jason Todd, will you and your bedroom eyes please report to my home immediately? Also, did anyone notice how he was reading Pride and Prejudice? Pretty sure his hand was covering the ‘and Zombies’ part of that title, but that’s just me.
…is that a T-Rex smoking a cigar while toting a sniper rifle? Whelp, thank god they showed up on the last page, because I’m a little tired of spitting obsceities. That was fucking hilarious. No, seriously, who are these guys? Where did they come from? Who was playing god one day and decided to splice a man with a fucking dinosaur? I think I need to lay down.

And that was this week in comics. If anyone needs me, I’ll be curled in a ball, crying under my covers while stroking the action figure I have of Jason Todd as Robin. I mean, I know the packaging says Young Dick Grayson, but look at those bangs. Look at those thighs. It’s Jason, and anyone who says otherwise is kidding themselves. Same time next week, my lovelies?

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I have a lot of feelings about the JLI

April 27, 2011 · Filed under Uncategorized · Tagged , , , , , , , , , , ,

Seven books this week, including the end of two excellent series. Oh, and Fail Train makes its final stop today. Shall we begin?

“I…I have this instinct, Jason. To burn the black.”
WHOA GEOFF. I just, I can’t even…the hell you say?! Okay, so, long story short, Swamp Thing is going to be the White Lantern, but in order for him to live again, Dove had to die, which is why Digger’s job was to kill her. Except it was Hawk’s job to catch the boomerang he would throw, which he failed. Because the White Energy knew that Boston and Dove would fall in love, and he’d throw himself in front of her, dying and becoming Deadman again, with a twist! Dove, apparently, can see and hear him. This…will make for interesting fandom conversations about their sex life. Aw, and Hawkgirl is officially dead too, it seems. She’s the wind, now. Oh, and John Constantine is back in the main DCU? Yesssss! Now let’s just hope he has some guest time in the Zatanna series.

Action Comics is back to being about Superman. My interest, it wanes.

Completely uninterested in Batman Inc. Next book.

And we’re back to War of the Green Lanterns! In this sixth part, John shoots things, Guy is an asshole, Kyle is adorable, and Hal is…boring. Can I just mention that Entity-infused Guardians is one of the creepiest things I’ve ever seen in a comic?

The fourth issue of Velocity marks the end of the mini that I’d assumed was supposed to be an ongoing. Ah, well. It was well-written, had a good number of twists, and I would sell my soul to own an actual page of Kenneth Rocafort’s amazing art. It was a good series, and I hope to pick it up if and when it comes out in trade.

Okay, not gonna lie. The last two pages, I was screaming inside. My horror at who the boy from the crime scene could have been was sort of overwhelming me. But everyone rest easy, it’s not Inertia. In other news, Bart is making a good effort at stealing the title of Emo Teen of the DCU away from Raven. He just has a lot of feelings, okay?! A speed intervention has never been so interesting, especially because it’s not related to drugs.

I just have a lot of feelings about the end of Generation Lost. For one, Max won. He’s got Checkmate. The world remembers him as he was, but he’s got Checkmate. Then there’s the fact that Nate has been flung somewhere in history. Where did he go? Will he be back? And then there’s the fact that Justice League International is going to be a series again. My heart literally jumped into my throat, and I got the hiccups. I was so excited, I got hiccups. I just…I really have a lot of feelings about this, you guys, and I don’t know how to put them all into words right now.

Well, that was this week in comics. I don’t know what I’m going to do now, probably just wander around in a haze for a little bit until my excitement at the prospect of a new JLI series wears off. Same time next week? Groovy. ToG out.

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Da na na na na na na na Batfamily!

April 14, 2011 · Filed under Uncategorized · Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Ten books! Ten! Obviously, it’s the second week of the month. And not a visible stinker in the lot! Shall we begin?

Okay, if Dragonwing shuts her trap and Glorinth continues being the main focus of the Legion Academy youngsters, I will gladly follow. But poor Power Boy and Lamprey. I mean, I was sort of following their storyline with half a mind (two recruits that have gone far too long without graduating), but their extra years of schooling to be wasted on prison guarding…poor kids. According to the Mysa second feature, next month is going to focus on XS! Jenni returns to Legion, hooray! Ooh, and so do her artists. I am pleased as pie, personally.

So, what the heck is White Knight drowning the Arkham inmates with? Glowing milk? Irradiated semen? What the hell? Backtracking a bit, I swear, I couldn’t stop whimpering ‘BABIES BABIES BABIES’ while reading the Dick and Damian exchange earlier on in the book. It’s as if the Tumblr fandom has been writing all the character growth. Damian is the undeniable star of this book, especially during his fight with Zsasz, and what happens afterwards.

CONFUSION AHOY! This issue starts off with Tim and Kon being boyfriends, and ends with Superboy lying in a ditch after getting the shit beat out of him by Doomsday. What just happened? Well, it may help that this is apparently the fifth part of the Reign of Doomsday storyline. So, I’m not supposed to get it? Okay, let’s go with that.

Red Robin was about faith and God this month. You have one month to redeem yourself, Fabian Nicieza, then this becomes a read-in-store title.

So, wait. Hot Pursuit is an alternate universe Barry Allen that steals speed and time from people in order to power his cosmic motorcycle, and Barry is weirded out by Bart’s existence?
Well, at least the art is pretty.
Also, welcome back, brunette Bart! I’ve missed you so!

So the saga of Booster’s time herpes- okay okay, ‘chronal leprosy’, comes to an end. In the 31st century! Frankly, any time Chris Batista feels like drawing Brainiac 5, I say let him do it. I’ve really grown to adore this art, so, you know.

Have I mentioned that I love Batgirl lately? Because I really love Batgirl. Ramon Bachs can draw this series forever, and I won’t complain at all. Batman Inc really seems to be working well for Batgirl, she’s got her own Cave, her own mini-Oracle, and a purple car! A purple car, you guys! For a chick that started out in a home-swen costume, Steph is really doing well for herself.

When one of my favorite characters from my favorite title makes an appearance in my other favorite title, and they’re both written by my favorite writer, well, this means we’re in for a good issue of Birds of Prey. “What the hell is going on here, Blake?!” Well, obviously makeouts are going on here, Helena. Geez, get with the program. Is it bad that I could ship this? I really have no problem shipping this. Thomas Blake and Helena Bertinelli, the ab-tastic sexypair of the DCU! Aw, too bad the ship has been sunk. Sorta. Help me, fandom!

Pff. Lobo/Smite, brOTP. Man, Tony, why are you bombarding us with excellent space ‘ships when R.E.B.E.L.S. is over as of next month?! How twisted are you? Twisted enough to put Lobo and Smite in a bar, apparently. This can only end in an epic drinking contest, I wager. Ooh Mr. Lyrl ooh. I love all Dox family members forever, thank you. Yup, I was right! Man, if Smite lives through the end of the series, I hope he and Lobo keep in touch. The Main Man needs a pal as badass as he his.

Can I just say one thing? Judd Winick cannot possibly be writing Skeets’ dialogue. It’s far too Giffen-y to have come from him. In this issue of Generation Lost…OMACs! Lots and lots of OMACs! And then an Amazo-like OMAC called OMAC Prime! I am so sick of saying OMAC you have no idea. This was actually a pretty good issue, tell the truth. And it only took 23 issues for me to stop raging at this comic long enough to enjoy it.

Well, that was this week in comics. I have a severe craving for pork fried rice, and also cramps. Get me my red ring! I’m off to destroy the world! But before I do…

This Saturday and Sunday are going to be ridiculous! The annual spring Tate’s Comics tent sale is going on, as well as Florida Supercomics’ first Comic Stock! Incredible deals, both stores are doing a ‘fill a longbox for $35′ type thing, just fun for all ages. Tate’s will be having the FotoRobot again, while FSC is going to have karaoke and a costume contest. I’ll be at both sales Saturday, so keep an eye out!

Catch you folks later, same place as always. Peace out!

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Get my…blue ring?! What?

March 24, 2011 · Filed under Uncategorized · Tagged , , , , , , , , ,

A medium sized week, but it doesn’t look disappointing. Then again, a new DC event, War of the Green Lanterns, begins this week with the first two parts being released simultaneously, so we’ll see. Shall we get down to it?

Not interested in the main story within Batman Inc this month, gimme some of that Kathy Kane. Now, as someone who has actually read some Kathy Kane/Batwoman stories (tacky colors, ugly mask, the friggin’ purse…), she was a joke. She was just a female counterpart to Batman that either a.) needed to be saved or b.) was a romantic plot device to drive the Dynamic Duo apart. But Grant, I’ve gotta say, you’ve done good work in making me want to respect this danger-loving, hell-raising reimagining. Now if we could just talk for a moment about Jason Todd…
Also, Dick is ridiculously adorable to the point of me exclaiming it out loud. I mean, really. This jealousy is just so…Silver Age, it’s laughable. Oh you little darling.

Ahh, and so the storyline from the Legion of Supervillians one-shot continues! I hope this means more Mekt. I just…love watching him screw up. Is that so wrong? I want to keep him in my glorious hall of idiots that can never win but look pretty forever. Speaking of, stuttery Brainy will never not be endearing to me. Thom and Nura are one of my original Legion OTPs, I’m glad to see them back in the same century again. Brin Londo is the definition of badass. The original man/beast hybrid type thing. Suck it, Wolverine (don’t actually suck it Wolverine, Rule #34 doesn’t need any more ideas). “I didn’t ask for this job, you know.” Uh, trying to say something, Mr. Levitz? I mean, I know about Mon-El being elected made you a mite bitchy becaus of how it would interrupt story flow, but c’mon. Brainiac 5′s superpower is being able to compliment you and insult you at the same time. He’s a quantum jerk and we love him for it. Oh look, the mysterious Professor Li is back! So, does this mean we finally get some background on her? Maybe? Please? Cliffhanger, okay. That works too.

War of the Green Lanterns begins in Green Lantern #64, and holy shit. It’s a giant Hal Jordan wank-fest. No, I’m just…I can’t. For starters, it’s a ship war. Hal/Carol, Hal/Sinestro, Hal/Parallax…all are represented here. And that last one is just freaky. “My precious Hal.” When the fucking living embodiment of fear thinks you’re just swell, you’ve got problems. I mean, real, serious, let’s-all-go-to-the-psychiatrist problems.

The second part in Green Lantern Corps isn’t much better. This time, it’s a Kyle Rayner I’m-going-to-whine-about-not-being-good-enough parade. Kid, you’ve saved the universe multiple times. You’ve saved the multiverse at least once. Cut yourself some fucking slack and if someone says you’re not good enough, bitch-slap them with a construct of your dick.

Alex is the Brainiac/Luthor clone. I’m throwing it out here first. That’s what the little freak is. Lex and Brainy1′s baby with a bit of Kryptonian DNA thrown in. Or he’s Match unrottified and given an upgrades. I mean, that’s what kind of vibe I’m getting here. There is no way this little bastard is human, just no way. Oh, and Damian is precious here. Just…this kid. I love how he’s somehow mastered Brainiac 5′s superpower from a thousand years away. Adorable little kitten.

OMACs. Why did it have to be OMACs?! Well, because it’s Max Lord killing Wonder Woman, doy. But in all honesty, this is the first issue of Generation Lost in which not only did I not ask for my red ring, I laughed. And covered my face. And called Gavril a precious baby cherub out loud in front of the Heroclix guys. Seriously, I love that guy. Give him his own series about having WACKY misadventures in America while Fire and Ice guest star constantly. Hell, make it a people of ethnicity series, lose the ‘I am a confused foreigner, what’s going on’ element, add in Jaime (our Lord and savior) and his family, and you’ll have a fun adventure book that makes people laugh. I would read this book religiously. But really, Gavril and Skeets are the stars of this book, don’t try to fool me. “Batman remembers Max Lord?” “Yes.” “Thank. You. God.” Y’know, for an athiest, Booster sure thanks that big imaginary friend he doesn’t believe in a lot.

I’m hungry. Why is it that that’s what I always end these posts with? But yeah, I’m hungry, no more books to read, and my computer is running out of juice. So I’m gonna go get some food, see you crazy kids here same time next week? Groovy.

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What I thought to be a red ring kind of day has become so much…bluer.

March 10, 2011 · Filed under Uncategorized · Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Oh my god, you guys. Eleven books. And not a single one of them is fail train and- oh. Generation Lost. Ahem. Lemme get my red ring.

Let’s start out with the Legion of Super Villains one-shot. I’m a pretty damn big fan of Lightning Lord and Saturn Queen, so I’m a little disappointed that the third of their trio, Cosmic King, was absent from this book. This issue was all about the most evil of the evil attempting to have their universe descend into chaos by destroying ancient worlds that keep the balance. The Rock of Eternity was the first to go (and whoa, was that a Shazam-hand I spy?! Is Thunder going to be making an appearance?), and Oa will be the last, so what is the world in between? The art was amazing, by the way, and my metaphorical boner for Mekt Ranzz was renewed.

Weird Worlds is fun. The Lobo story featured a couple of murders and a political triple-cross, which is actually pretty typical for Lobo. Not as many explosions as I’m used to, though. The Tanga story was…amusing. Drunk monster fighting, I can get behind that.

Couldn’t get into Batman Inc this month, moving on.

“He’s like a mirror-universe Al Gore!” I love you, Hourman. Oh my god. Wildcat, Tommy you precious flower. “I’m on a boat!” That was the single best entrance ever. I hope Roxy keeps her body, I really do. Citizen Steel needs some lovin’ too. But she claims that being human grosses her out, so, que sera sera. The little epilogue with Tyler and Roxy was sweet, so, she does keep her body?

I guess being in love with your cousin runs in both sides of Kon’s family. Lori Luthor, you have something in common with Silver Age Superman, your uncle would be so proud. Wait a second, ‘Garth’? Kon, Beast Boy’s name is Garfield. I love how they touched on Kon and Bart’s friendship. I mean, everyone knows that Kon is gay for is best friends with Tim, but people are always forgetting his friendship with Bart. Neither of them had a normal childhood, both grew up in artificial enviornments, and both have very big shoes that they’ll eventually need to fill. The boys are bros. And the winner is…Krypto! Aww, puppy for the win. Congratulations, Krypto!

I’m just going to talk about puppet Zatanna. She is, at once, the most awesome, and most terrifying thing. Your soul trapped in a puppet that you have no control over? Aggggh. The art and plots in this book just get better and better, I’m never disappointed.

Excuse me, what are a bunch of Deadpool wannabes doing henching for the Calculator? “Congratulations, you just pissed off Superman.” Oh Helena, I do love you. So, Oracle is dead. Except, Barbara Gordon is not. And tell the truth, Oracle isn’t exactly gone either. For now, Proxy is going to be the go-to girl when it comes to information retrieval, and Oracle is going to…I don’t know. Build a second internet, apparently. Good issue, good arc, but I was a little meh on the art. Also, here’s hoping that Mortis never makes another appearance, because good lord. Speaking of reappearances, hiya Misfit! I hope Gail tells us where she’s been, because I missed that girl.

Just kiss the poor detective, Steph. You know you want to. But enough of that. Frankly, the real star of this issue is the new Gray Ghost, Clancy Johnson. This nutbag is just completely adorable. He calls Steph his ‘beautiful bruise’. You precious, precious flower. Oh yeah, and Proxy is an angry abandoned child with a wild stripe in her hair. I’m getting a Jason vibe, and I don’t know why.

Wait a minute. I thought Aaron Langstrom was a tiny Bat-child? When did he go human? I would give another yell of Morrison ignores all canon but his own, except this entire arc is being written by Peter J. Tomasi.
…is Damian eating a Twinkie? Actually, if Alfred made it, it’s probably an eclaire, but still. This kid…he manages to be a genius one panel, a brat the next, and hilarious two panels after that. “That’s soooo incredibly interesting, I can’t wait to tweet it.” You precious child, I just want to strangle you with my love. You know, like your mom does. Zing! So, this White Knight is after all the relations of Arkham inmates? On one hand, while this will be an interesting situation to explore, you do know that eventually, the Knight will be targeting either Dick Grayson or Bruce Wayne because of their connections to Jason Todd, a current inmate, right? Right?

Oh my god, references to gay prison sex. Boys, never stop writing this book, I beg of you.
…
I take it back oh god I take it back! I have the worst case of crying. Booster! Baby! GET AWAY FROM THE END OF THE WORLD BEFORE YOU HURT YOURSELF!

Why. Why am I doing this to myself? Jaime was, is, was one of my favorite characters ever. My absolute favorite character introduced in comics following the year 2000. I loved that kid. I don’t want to see him lying on a table, still in his armor (his bug suit. He threw up in his bug suit. He was always good about losing his lunch in the early days.). I don’t want to listen to Booster and Skeets talking about taking him home. I don’t…what’s everyone else doing? Nate and Tora are fighting, Bea and Gavril are…oh. Okay. Get some, girl. Booster, you’re good at speechifying. But then again you’ve been getting in some good practice lately and-
oh my god.
Oh my god.
Cancel the lynch mob and the mourning vigils. Break open all the champagne. All of it. HE LIVES HE FUCKING LIVES GET ME MY BLUE RING JAIME REYES IS ALIVE!
Pfff Gavril and Booster’s faces. Huh, I just noticed how totally full of hunky blondes the JLI is. Well, okay then.

And that was this week in comics. Ahem. I have a date with some corned beef and cabbage, and maybe a celebratory entire bottle of Svedka in Jaime’s honor (not really, dad, I may be legal now, but that stuff stinks. Put down the gun.). Peace out, and I hope to see you here next week.

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I may just start a Tumblr like that…except Beetles must be remember for the good times, not the bad

February 24, 2011 · Filed under Uncategorized · Tagged , , , , , , , , , , ,

Oh, what a small week. Five books, one of which is guaranteed to either make me happy beyond words, or so full of rage, I begin spontaneously spewing blood everywhere. Let’s do this thing.

Larfleeze, your quirkiness is amusing beyond words. “Hairless Lex Luthor!” Yes indeed. Oh my god, is he doing a, a Gollum impression? You precious little flower. I think Glomulus is his favorite Corpsblob or something, because Larfleeze doesn’t just hug anyone. Oh my god. So he’s behind this. Of course he is. Who else could it be? I’m hoping that the reinclusion of Brainiac in Lex’s life will finally lead up to where the hell the Brainiac/Lex clone has gotten to.

Harley has snapped. I know people will argue that she’d snapped by the time she first showed up in Batman: The Animated Series, but at least she was happy then. This Harley is just a tightly-wound ball of rage and hatred in a fancy hat. A manipulative woman we’ve never really gotten to see much of before. And she wants the Joker dead. Good luck, honey. You’ll need it.

So, Peeg. You dug up one of your dead friends to prove to Dick Grayson that Max Lord was real. How does that feel? Not gonna lie, this issue made me facepalm and yell at Dick a lot. Bruce, however, was sort of awesome for once, though his whole ‘I remember everything’ sort of cemented him as DC Jesus in my eyes. In other news, Nicco, you would be an awesome liar if ladies smarter and more fabulous than you weren’t around to spoil everything. Also, I have this feeling that the next couple of issues of everything that ties into Generation Lost is going to be all Crying About Beetles dot Tumblr dot com.

My rage has flared to previously unimaginable levels. I don’t care about you anymore, Max. The sleazy, sometimes goofy businessman from times past is dead to me. I don’t care that you’re essentially a momma’s boy with a god complex. I don’t care that your mommy was in Coast City when it was destroyed. A lot of people lost their lives in a tragedy that no one could have stopped once it got started. There’s only one thing I care about right now.
Jaime Reyes had almost seven years. He was introduced during Infinite Crisis to immediately replace the fallen Ted Kord. In the seven years he was around, he had his own series, a spot on the Teen Titans, a few back-up stories in Booster Gold, and a snug place in the hearts of many of DC’s readers. His popularity only grew when he was introduced to the rest of the world through Batman: The Brave and the Bold. He was always a smart, responsible, goofy kid that loved his friends and family. He, he wanted to be a dentist so that his sister could go to college and his parents would be assured an easy retirement. And now he’s dead.
That was one of the worst things I’ve ever had to type. Who’s going to tell his family? Who is going to tell Paco and Brenda? Who is going to have to stoop down and tell Milagro Reyes that her big brother isn’t going to be coming home because a man they’ve never heard of, a man they didn’t even remember existing, killed him just like he did the Beetle before him? I can’t do it. Booster shouldn’t have to do it. No one should have to. Because this boy didn’t deserve to die.
All I can say about this entire this is this: DC, if you’re doing your whitewashing thing again by killing a minority character in order to bring in a white guy, that white guy had better be Ted Kord. Not a new character. Not a PoC. And you better not be retiring the mantle of Blue Beetle, either. You fucking bring back Ted Kord. Or I just…I don’t know what I would do. I’m way too invested in your better series’ (Birds of Prey, Batgirl, Secret Six, etc) to be able to keep a boycott of DC for even a week. I just don’t have any answers right now.

(this review was written before the above one, but moved to the bottom so that this entry would end on a happy note)
Damian, you precious flower. AUGH. AUGH. KON, TIM, MAKE WITH THE KISSES ALREADY. No, seriously. You boys need to just get over yourselves and your issues and just make the kisses happen. Well, I guess it’s 100% confirmed now then, isn’t it? Kid Eternity is even deader than he was before the Calculator got to him. How does that work, exactly? Did he just…disapparate or something? Become discorpereal? What? I mean, the character’s whole schtick is that he’s already dead, he just can’t go to heaven or hell yet. So, what’s going on? Did he finally cross over? You’d better get back to me on this, Teen Titans. I want to know. So…Tim’s back on the team, and Damian has been curbed? Well, that sort of makes sense. Dami’s only ten or so, he wouldn’t really fit in with this particular team of Titans yet. Try again in a few years, Dick. Aww, how cute. And I know people are gonna be like, he called Dick his only friend! No. He’s talking about Colin. You know, Abuse from Streets of Gotham. He and that kid are totally BFFs. Dick isn’t his friend, Dick is his substitute daddy that hugs too much.

And that was this week in comics! Sort of. Look, I know two Deadpool titles came out today but I just…I can’t follow that guy. As much as I love him and his concept, I just can’t stay interested for more than two or three issues at a time.
Oh, and speaking of Tumblr, I’ve had one of my own for several weeks now! Follow me at touchofgrey37. But as always, parental advisory is suggested. I swear like a sailor.
Peace out, you guys. Got some computer problems I need to fix. Same time next week? Swerval.

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Kill me. Kill me now.

February 17, 2011 · Filed under Uncategorized · Tagged , , , , , , , ,

I must really like you guys. I’m sick as a dog and twice as miserable, but here I am, picking up eight books for reviewing. Well, that’s a lie. I’m only gonna pick up seven, and read one in-store. Can you guess what that one is?

Oh Fail Train, you never cease to disappoint me. It’s an Aqua-issue! Seriously, does Brightest Day take place before The Hunt for Raven? Because Lorena is supposed to be missing, along with Bombshell. Aw, Aqua-incest! Not the best time, Jackson, really. Also, not to nitpick, but if Jackson is an electrical hero, how the hell is he using his powers underwater in close range to Aquaman and not frying him? No, what? If his life was returned, why did he vanish? Ending each issue on a confusing cliffhanger is not good writing, it’s just irritating as hell, Geoff.

So, I want to know who the hell this Alex creep is. Meanwhile, these two civilian kids are proving that men everywhere are morons. Oh my god, Damian is just precious. As much as the kid hates to admit it, he really does have a great deal of concern for Kara. No, really Alex. Who are you? What are you?! Augh, I must know! Wait. Please tell me this isn’t the Luthor/Brainiac clone. That would be just too convenient.

Oh god, Brainy is the new (deputy) leader of the Legion. I forsee shenanigans. The art in this issue is just amazing, by the way. Brainy’s design is reminiscent of the design he had in the mini comic at the end of the recently released Jim Lee artbook, and just generally stunning. Dawnstar and Yera’s designs are stunning as well. Yildiray Cinar is really going above and beyond lately, and I love it.

See, that’s the great thing about a book by Giffen and DeMatteis. From the opening writer/artist credits to the final page, you know it’s bound to be amazingly funny. I really love this kid, y’know. Rani is just the most precious little snowflake ever. Oh no, little Skeets! Rip, you’re an asshole. “Just a machine”, indeed. Oh my god, they through in a Producers reference. There’s a reason Booster Gold is one of my favorite books, you know. And this is it. Clever writing, decent art, little references thrown in for people that know the history…it’s just a damned good book. Wait, Booster’s in jail? For real? I, my faith in all good things has been shattered.

Visually, Green Lantern has produced some pretty creepy shit recently. Parallax-Flash, Ophidian-Hammond, and now Krona? Nightmare fuel unleaded, I think. Yeah, sorry Hal. One-punch doesn’t work on rogue Guardians. I’m gonna make one of my predictions at this point. In the upcoming mini War of the Green Lanterns, John Stewart or Jade is going to die. Think about it. Hal obviously lives, Guy is running his own series, and Kyle almost died already. Jade is like a GLC reservist, and John Stewart hasn’t really done anything notable since he was the only GL for Earth, in his fancy Mosaic uniform and everything. One of them is going to die. I kinda hope it’s Jade. Since her rebirth, she’s done nothing. I haven’t heard anything from her. She just…exists. And I think she’s existing to die.

Green Lantern Corps is consistantly an entertaining book. The relationships between characters feel real, the action is always intense, and it’s just an overall intelligent book that doesn’t try to talk down to its readers. This month shows the conclusion to the Weaponer storyline and, goddamnit. Why’d you have to…hgh. See, this is the reason I really love and hate Sinestro. He’s smart. A tactician. He sees a problem and immediately seeks a solution, no matter the cost. And his solution to having the Weaponer as an enemy? Make him an ally. The Sinestro Corps has got the greatest weapons master the universe has ever seen on their side, Hera help us all.

…please tell me that’s not supposed to be Earth-16 Snapper Carr. Yup, it is. Oh god, I think I’m gonna like the new Young Justice comic. I take it back. What the fuck is up with that Joker design?! It’s like, Joker meets Mad Mod meets…a hepcat or something. Terrible, terrible design.

Twilight Guardian rules. Seriously, if you’re only picking up one title from Top Cow, make it this one. It’s clever, well-written, and well-drawn. In all honesty, it’s like a better researched, more mature version of Kick-Ass. It’s a book that takes itself seriously, and expects us to as well. In this second issue, the TG goes to a comic convention to meet up with other heroes and…oh my god her little face when she gets all her new comics. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t recognize that expression. Careful readers will notice all the subtle cameos of Top Cow characters. An overall good read.

Well, that was this week in comics. I sound like a frog and have a hot date with a bowl of soup and maybe a really steamy bath. This is ToG the mucus factory signing off.

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-insert expletive here- YOU JUDD WINICK

February 10, 2011 · Filed under Uncategorized · Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Ten books. Ten. Holy shit. And Fail Train isn’t on the lineup. In fact, I’m not expecting any of these to suck. Holy Moley.

Knight and Squire is always good for a chuckle, so- oh my god! Since it’s hard to emote without vocal inflection, that was an indignant yell. This is supposed to be a funny action title, what the hell is the Joker doing in England? Ohh, I’m not pleased.

Okay, lemme be the first to say that I’m a fan of Chemical Kid’s glowing green glasses. Actually, I like the designs of everyone in the new Legion Academy. That doesn’t mean I like their personalities, though. Glorinth seems okay, but Hadru is a ridiculous brat. Dragonwing seems like a bit of a bitch, too. If Adventure Comics is going to be detailing the adventures of the kids in Legion Academy from now on, I could dig it.

…kiss of rage and burning blood? Oh, Guy, you silly boy. Pff, of course the telepaths would bitch while Bleez is trying to help them. Okay, now, maybe a Green Lantern veteran reader can help me; who the heck is Aleesun? Whoever she was, she seemed to mean quite a bit to Guy. Ah well, if no one answers me, I guess I can wait until next issue.

I believe the last issue of R.E.B.E.L.S. ended with someone stealing Tribilus. Except, apparently, Smite wasn’t after Tribilus, he was after Dox. And now Starro has made the Psion homeworld the cornerstone world for his new empire…wow, our universe is fucked! No, really, our universe is fucked. So, you remember how the Psions were cloning things? Well, they’re cloning Czarnians. I guess the only good thing is that Starro is unable to control them. But still, an army of Lobo? This can only end in mass bloodshed and/or sex. Or maybe not. Lobo, you smart bastich. Oh shit! Is Stormdaughter…dead? I hope not, she was a pretty cool character. Ah well, cliffhangers abound.

I’m still a little wary about the Speed Force motorcycle. I mean, it’s a pretty lame idea. But Sam (one of the people that works at my LCS) just offered the suggestion that it could be John Fox, the Flash of the 25th century. But that seems unlikely. For one, John Fox is way too cool to do something as lame as have a Speed Force motorcycle. Then, there’s the existence of the Reverse Flash Task Force. Why would 25th century Central City need both? Methinks John Fox may be no longer in continuity. ‘Elongated Kid’? And it’s a dead old man?
Wut.
So the motorcycle guy is…but…what?! Okay, prediction time. Elongated Kid is the anomaly, and he’s actually Ralph and Sue’s unborn child from an alternate timeline. You heard it here first, folks.

I’m gonna be completely honest, Batman and Robin is all about Robin. Damian is a brat, and we love him for it. He’s even grouchy with a milkshake in one hand and his family all around. You little snit, I love ya. Anyway, the issue starts out with a suicide and ends with lots and lots of glowing bats. It was a good issue, but honestly, every part that didn’t have Damian being a brat sort of made my eyes glaze over. The kid stole the show.

Damn, and here I was hoping that Tim would ditch the condom-cap and stick with the Uternet costume permanently. Have we mentioned that Catman is badass lately? Because he is. When a member of the family that used to beat you up for fun acknowledges that you’re a BAMF, then by god, you’re a BAMF. But this issue isn’t about Catman. It’s about Tim calling Superboy Kon.
No, seriously, he did. Go check, I’ll wait. See it? Ohmygod! Aaand then Damian steals the spotlight in this issue, too. What is it about that kid that makes writers focus on him? Augh, I hate that I love him so much. And then the Calculator was a bomb! There are many bombs! Everybody panic! The art in this issue was fabulous. Marcus To, I give you my blessing to draw teenagers forever.

Batgirl is one of those series’ that just puts you in a good mood from start to finish. I mean, the plot of this issue is that Steph and Klarion (bum bum BUM) the Witch Boy are on a mission to get his familiar laid. No, seriously. I liked the nice little hat tip Klarion gave to his old musical sting, too. Though I am a bit torqued that Teekl has been rebooted to be male. I guess DC was getting tired of all the beastiality jokes. Hold your rotten veggies until the end please, folks.

Dinah, your mom is hot. Meaning no disrespect to the dead, but dayum. I hope Gail Simone never becomes my subconcious. I love her, but she’s way, way too good at making people she writes feel guilty. She’s like nine Jewish mothers and a middle school principals wrapped into one being of infinite power. Oh god, I just gave myself goosebumps at that thought. Current, I hope you die in a fire. He pimp slapped Lady Blackhawk! Who does that?! No one! What the hell?! Wow, Hank, you’re horribly drawn this issue. I mean, wow. The ladies, however, look excellent, especially Dove. I’m really starting to like this character again. What?! Another cliffhanger? Fab.

WINIIIIIIIICK. GOD DAMNIT WHAT THE FUCK.

That was what I excused myself from the comic store to scream outside until my voice broke. Damnit, Judd. Damnit, DC. GOD DAMNIT, MAX LORD. Did the original Blue Beetle kill your puppy? Rape your mother? Is that why you’ve seen to it that everyone that holds the Scarab, that you can get to, must die of a gunshot to the head? As soon as the issue opened, my heart clenched. In a series like this, if there’s a flashback to better times, someone is going to die. Someone is going to die. First issue of Identity Crisis, Ralph was telling Firehawk how he and his wife met. Four pages later, death. But you couldn’t just kill him, could you, asshole? You had to give us hope. Jaime escapes! Jaime gets a signal out so that the rest of the JLI can find him! Power Girl is off to tell the world about how evil Max is! The JLI makes it to Max’s hideout! Jaime says something funny!
DEATH.

Fuck. You. No more. I thought Jaime would be protected, Editorial mandates and what have you. He was a character Infinite Crisis spawned, Dan Didio liked him, fans liked him, he was the first Blue Beetle ever brought to TV. He’s supposed to be on Smallville soon. He has a family that loves him, friends outside of the superheroing set. His little sister ships Boostle. He has a good relationship with both his living parents, and he took his grandma flying once. I, I’m not gonna cry. I refuse to give you the satisfaction. He isn’t dead, this is just the mother of all fakeouts. It had better be.

That was this week in comics. I’m gonna go have dinner, then rock back and forth while clutching my knees and sitting fully clothed in the shower. Peace out.

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