Posts tagged Flashpoint

Beware, rage and tears lurk within

August 31, 2011 · Filed under Uncategorized · Tagged , , , ,

So this is it. The reboot. I don’t feel very different. I’m still Touch of Grey, still a huge Flash fan, still a DC rather than a Marvel. And yet, everything has changed, supposedly. I’ve only got two books this week, let’s see just how different this new universe is.

What that fuck.
No, seriously. What the fuck? The Flash series ended just before Flashpoint began, and none of these events that supposedly took place actually happened. Are you just making it up as you go along, Geoff? “Well, I’m basically the god of DC now, so I’m allowed to say events that were never shown, referenced, or even suggested happened exactly as I say they did.” I can’t. I just can’t even. And what the hell was with the ending? Barry wakes up in his own timeline, goes to see Bruce, and gives him the letter from his father that magically survived the condensing time lines. The only thing that made this issue even vaguely salvageable was the conversation between Barry and his mom. It referenced the Flash’s need to have a ‘lightning rod’ loved one to ground them to their own reality, and it showed that his mother actually has some common goddamn sense. She also seems to be a fairly selfless human being, willing to trade her life for the lives of millions. I guess we know where Barry got it from, then. At least, the Barry that died back in Crisis on Infinite Earths. As it is, Flashpoint was a terrible event. It had too many minis, wasn’t very well thought out, and as endings go, this one was pretty weak. I’ll rate it a two of five, if only because Andy Kubert’s art is ridiculously gorgeous.

And now onto the new Justice League book. It’s the first issue featuring the new DCU. This should set the tone of the reboot for me.

Oh god it’s so bad.

No, this is terrible. I can’t even. I’m crying a little. This is so bad. The writing, the setting, the tone, the pacing, the character interaction oh god please tell me this is a joke. So the issue starts out in Gotham, with Batman chasing someone who looks like Killer Croc outfitted with a million dollars worth of tech. The government is shooting at him. Then Hal swoops down from the heavens to be a condescending dick, and frankly, I have never wanted to see One-Punch so much in my life. We then cut to Victor Stone, who is still a football player whose dad ignores him in favor of science, the bastard. The setting is now Metropolis, where Hal dicks it up, and then Superman punches him through a building.

You know what this reminds me of? All-Star Batman. Where Batman is gruff and scary, Hal is an idiot, and Clark is apparently unable to be trusted. The reboot is taking place int the ASB universe. The mystery has been cleared up. Everyone can go home.

To say that I’m disappointed with the comics that came out this week is an understatement. For all of the advertising, the hype, what I’ve seen so far of the reboot is embarrassing. And until I see something that isn’t poorly written, well, have fun without my money, DC. ToG out. See y’all next week.

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The future’s so dark, I’m gonna need a Flashlight. See what I did there?

August 25, 2011 · Filed under Uncategorized · Tagged , , , , , , , ,

This is it. The last full week. I, I don’t have anything else to say.

As always, the Flashpoint titles will be lumped together.

Maybe it’s because I never got into Wildstorm, aside from Gen 13 and Authority, but I just don’t like Lois Lane and the Resistance as much as I could. It’s full of pointless backstory I don’t care about, and without the various Furies that I recognize (that have no lines, for the most part), I doubt I would be reading it at all. Lois Lane has never really been one of my favorite female characters and while a book about her could, theoretically, be interesting, this one just…wasn’t. Sorry, Lois.
I. I can’t I just.
Hoo. Okay. I am so angry right now. I feel like right now, there is no doubt in my mind that Bart isn’t going to be Kid Flash in the new universe. This one I’m dissecting, so prepare for maximum spoilers. Bart is the reason there isn’t any Speed Force in the Flashpoint universe. He took the speed from Max, and Jay, and maybe even Johnny and Jesse Quick. Because there was never any Flash back in the 40′s, Barry Allen never spent his life being a fan. He never got in the accident that gave him his powers, and never gave the same powers to Wally. Barry Allen never married Iris West. Bart was never born. He existed outside of time, then went back in time as the Black Flash to steal the speed from, and kill, the man who would eventually become Max Mercury. As the Black Flash, Bart bounces around the timestream collecting Speed Force to give to Barry, then performs an exact copy of Barry’s death on Crisis on Infinite Earths in order to also become one with the Speed Force. But the worst part of all this?
Barry doesn’t really care.
I mean, he basically says so. He says that he doesn’t really know Bart all that well, but did he ever try to take the time to get to know him? No, he did not. Even Wally, with all his problems and issues, took a break every now and then from saving the world and banging Linda to hang out with his cousin. Barry is Bart’s grandfather. Bart is the son of a child that Barry never knew. Barry and Bart are so removed from each other, I don’t even know what to say. Other than Kid Flash Lost #3 was probably the most disappointing ending to a series since the final issue of Wally’s series a few years ago. I’m not happy.
We now return you to your scheduled programming.

It’s pretty obvious that Geoff Johns doesn’t want the Green Lantern movie to be anything like the comics. Why do I say this? Well, the final Green Lantern movie prequel came out today, starring Sinestro. And it, as with the others, told his origins. Apparently, movie!Sinestro was a freedom fighter on his planet. In the comics, he was an archaeologist. Umm. The two aren’t really similar, but okay. This being said, it was a nice one-shot, and I actually enjoyed it. Kinda cements the Abin/Sinestro bromance for me.

The final issue of Gates of Gotham can be summed up in one sentence: “Given enough time, I’m sure you’d make an even better Batman than me.” Dick Grayson made a great Batman. Thank you, Scott Snyder, for voicing this opinion through the mouthpiece that is Bruce Wayne. Take that, ‘Bruce is the only Batman’ fanboys.

You know, I like to think that, despite all of their differences, Guy and Bruce actually get along really well. They’re both quite intelligent, though Guy likes to mask his smarts with bravado. They’re both very guarded when it comes to personal relationships. But above all, they both know how to save the day, albeit in different ways. I like this team-up issue, and yeah, it was kind of a fitting end to Guy’s series. Well played, Tomasi.

There comes a time in every reviewers life when they read the end of a series and think, wow. That was seriously pulled directly out of the writer’s ass last second, wasn’t it? “The Batman made me do it” is honestly the worst, and lamest, excuse I’ve ever heard. Bruce wasn’t Batman when this series began, Dick was. Dick wasn’t up for manipulating anyone at that stage in his career as Batman. He was dragging people down streets hanging off of his motorcycle. Still, good save, Selina. This issue earns a 3 of 5. Could have been a lot worse. Imagine if they’d actually killed her? Reboot or no, a cheap death is still a cheap death. Hear that, Sterling Gates?

So hey, who remembers Kick-Ass 2? Not me, the last issue came out in like, January. Anyway, issue #3 is out and…I’m going to be honest here. Is this supposed to be a serious real-world superhero book? Because it’s hilarious. There’s a heroine whose main objective is getting drunk girls home safely, and another guy who is cutting down on public transit violence. Frankly, I prefer those two to pretty much everyone else who just wants to beat people up. These guys are doing an actual civic duty that is often overlooked by regular law enforcement, especially in a big city. But this is the funny part. Remember Red Mist? He’s a full-time bad guy now, and his villain name is, wait for it, the Motherfucker. No, I’m not joking. This is the quality of the second half of this issue. Just, keep that in mind when the next issue of Kick-Ass comes out two years from now.

The final issue of Teen Titans wasn’t as half-assed as I thought it was going to be. Unlike the final issue of Superboy, which had been given two chances to not suck but failed, it was well thought out and well-paced. Sssssorta. Not going to lie, I facepalmed my way through the post-battle Kon/Rose moment. The art was very good, as was the writing, but so many questions were left unanswered for me. Who was under the Inertia costume? How did Prime clone three Kon’s? What if they were mind-controlled versions of Kon brought to the future? Who decided it would be a good idea to give Damian the Kryptonite phallic object? Why won’t Gar stop creepin’ on Raven? Are we seriously supposed to believe that the Source Wall is the permanent solution to Superboy-Prime? I’d voice some more questions, but I think I’ll just let y’all speculate on those for now.

Well. That’s it, then. Next week I’ve only got two books, the final issue of Flashpoint and, because I refuse to make a post about one book, the first issue of Justice League. Will they suck? Will the reboot sap my will to live? Will this blog still exist come October? Only time will tell. Until next time, readers. I’m Touch of Grey, and I have a chicken sandwich in my purse. And I’m going to eat it. Peace out.

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As I walk into the valley of the shadow of Reboot…

August 18, 2011 · Filed under Uncategorized · Tagged , , , , , , , ,

Every book I’m looking at this week is a final issue. Every single one. The end of the second to last wave of Flashpoint minis, the end of the Super books, the space titles, the end of Zatanna. I feel very sad, so I may as well get on with it.

As always, the Flashpoint titles will be reviewed as one.
Wonder Woman and the Furies sucked. For one thing, this issue should have been put out before the last issue of the Emperor Aquaman mini, for better continuity flow. For another thing, it just sucked. The Orm/Penthesilea thing came out of fucking nowhere. Well, that’s not true. Penny has been a traitor to the Amazons since issue #1 of WW&tF, but the fact that they’ve apparently been working together to topple the leadership of their respective family members so that they could…what? Also have a political marriage? This is the pot calling the kettle a bad queen, Penny.
What’s with the Flashpoint minis ending horribly? I mean, really now. Legion of Doom had a strong first issue, a pretty good second issue…and now this ending is ridiculous. Puns? Beating Cyborg with his own arm? Mick, why are you doing this to me? At least the last two pages are pretty badass.
Maybe I spoke too soon. Abin Sur the Green Lantern kicked ass! Seriously this mini rocked. The art was fantastic, the storyline was just amazing, and the twist at the end, while sort of predictable, was still really cool how it was pulled off. I give this mini a 5/5 for its trouble.
We now return you to your scheduled programming.

The end of, yet another, Legion series. I should be used to this by now. Hm, according to the cover, someone is going to die. My guess, Earth Man. Seriously, redeem ‘em, then off ‘em, that’s the Legion way. Let’s see. Exposition, exposition, your powers combined I am Captain Planet annnnnd…I was right! I love being right. But I didn’t like this series. I love the Legion of Superheroes, but I loved my Legion, the first Reboot Legion, the best. Sorry, Paul Levitz.

The final issue of Green Lantern Corps was sort of anticlimactic, yet fitting. Only thing I’m asking, why the hell was Scott Kolins the writer for the final issue? Was Tony Bedard on holiday? Anyway, this issue focused on the other thousand or so members of the Corps that no one ever pays attention to because of those damn attention-whoring Earthmen. It wasn’t a bad issue, tell the truth, but it also wasn’t that great. Maybe I’m just biased because I love Tony Bedard so much and prefer Scott Kolins on pencils, I dunno. Ah well. Goodbye, Green Lantern Corps v.2. You were pretty kickass.

Wow, way to leave a giant gaping hole in a story, Superboy. So, we’re never going to find out what the hell was up with Psion? Fantastic. You know what, I’m sorry, but I just couldn’t really pay attention to the exposition against the background of terrible art.

The end of Supergirl was actually pretty cute. Professor Ivo is always a good villain to put against a Super, and this time was no exception. I’m glad to see that the whole ‘secret identity’ thing is still a foreign concept to Kara. Seriously, she sucks at this. I wonder how that conversation went after she put him back on the ground. “Magic my ass! You’re Supergirl!” “Whoops…” I’m going to miss this version of Supergirl, I was really starting to like her.

Why, why why will you not exist in the reboot, Peeg? This issue, the final issue, shows all the reasons she should still be around. Power Girl managed to save the day three times in under a minute, why is she being erased?! Augh, I’m getting angry. Power Girl, you had a fantastic run. I’ll probably miss you most of all.

Why did the final issue of Zatanna have to be written by Adam Beechen? It’s just not right. That being said, it wasn’t a bad issue. It was basically a bunch of filler that made me feel like I should be reading it to the tune of the Benny Hill theme. Here, DC, just take my heart and rip it to pieces. Saves me the trouble of doing it myself.

That was this week in comics, you guys. I just…I’m entering full-on depression mode. I’m going to get something to go home now and roll around on my issues of Impulse and Young Justice until I feel better.

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A moment of silence for the fallen: Adventure Comics and Secret Six say goodnight.

August 4, 2011 · Filed under Uncategorized · Tagged , , , , , , , , ,

Well, we’re at the beginning of the end here, folks. This is the fist week of the last month of DC’s history. Starting in September, everything will change. We’ve got seven books this week, two of which are final issues. Shall we begin?

As always, Flashpoint and its minis will be reviewed as one.
Oh, Flashpoint, you fantastic pile of shit. We get a more in-depth look at ‘Captain Thunder’ and his hosts in the next to last issue of Flashpoint. Oh, and apparently Barry Allen in this world is comparable to Layla Miller in House of M. Seriously, when Billy touched him, he regained some of his old memories. Huh. Whatever you say, Geoff Johns. Well, I guess all I can say is that I understand why there isn’t going to be a Shazam in the new DCU. RIP, Billy Batson, you were fucked over royally. The last few pages of this issue are just fighting, fighting, exposition, and oh look! It’s Eobard Thawne! About damn time he showed up. I give this issue a 2 of 5. Could have been better, but frankly, the only really interesting things in this issue were the sketch pages in the back.

Okay, what?! First he goes from being all “Durr, I don’t know anything about this chick who saved my ass, not even how old she is derr” while watching her shower, then there are makeouts between Deathstroke and Jenny Blitz? Comic, I’m turning the page now. This better be gone when I turn the page. Ugh, thankyou. What is it with Slade and his fucked up pedo thing for teenage girls? What the hell, DC? His things with Terra, Batgirl, and his own damn daughter were implied at best, so you decided to beat the questions and just announce that they’re banging during this scene change? Thanks for that. Someone get my brain bleach. Anyway, after a few pages of exposition and fight scenes, Rose is saved and Deathstroke apparently has a harem of ladies now. And thus was the tale of Deathstroke the pirate. Yarr.

World of Flashpoint had a bit of a disappointing ending. I mean, it was interesting, but it wasn’t really all that great. Traci’s father has been using dark magic, she teleports herself into the middle of a battlefield, they reconcile, she gets hit by a killing blow but the Earth itself heals her, then her dad stops the satellite he himself built and Traci loses all her magic? The simple fact that I could describe the whole issue in a sentence is just a tribute to how…dull this issue was. Sorry, Traci 13, but you were very boring this month.
We now return you to your scheduled programming.

Gates of Gotham got weird this month. So, one of the original architects of Gotham City built a steamgear suit in order to become Gotham’s first supervillian and get revenge on the city’s royalty? Okay, if you say so. At least Cass gets a few good lines this issue.

And so ends Adventure Comics, not with a whimper, but with a NOOOO face. Seriously, this issue had an overabundance of noooooo moments. At least five. Like World of Flashpoint, it wasn’t a bad issue, it just had the capacity to be better. It was a series of fight pages followed by two deaths and a character quitting the Legion Academy to follow his…boyfriend? This is how little I remember of the last issue, I can’t recall who this Jedidiah Tel is talking about is supposed to be. The Legion Academy issues of Adventure Comics mostly went over my head, as they were a concept of something that wasn’t in the Legion I grew up reading, which was the first Reboot. I’ve only managed to find Legion issues that predate the Giffen series recently and while I’ve enjoyed those, I’ve also found them sort of silly, and out of date, which is sort of the point. Anyway, what I’m trying, and failing, to convey is this: I will not miss Adventure Comics as much as I’ll miss other parts of this DCU. Sorry.

Okay, 18 pages of exposition, 9 pages of ads, and 2 pages of Kon actually being in the panels. And it ends on a cliffhanger. Is there going to be a second issue of Superboy this month that no one told me about?

Ow. No, seriously. Ow. You just hit me right in the emotions, Gail. And it hurt like hell. This is the last issue of Secret Six, the comic that, for the last three years, has been my self-confessed favorite current book. They’ve gone to hell and back together, fallen in love, beaten the shit out of each other, but most of all, they’ve been a family. A fucked up, mildly incestuous family. And this last book had it all. Bane getting laid. Catman and Deadshot admitting that they’re bros. Scandal getting married- to both Kay and Liana. Jeanette being generally awesome. And then you let Lawton aim for my heart. Fully surrounded by heroes. No way out. Huntress letting herself be taken hostage to try and dissuade them. Bane offering his team, his family, a chance to go down fighting. And they took the venom. And, and they went down fighting. God, I can’t emotions right now, guys. I can’t. Kay reaching for Scandal’s hand as she died, calling her ‘wife’…I just can’t. I loved this book, this team. Not counting the two six-issue minis that started it all, and the few appearances in the first Birds of Prey series, the Secret Six had 36 issues of pure awesome, topped with love, war, and ultimately, death. It’s a book I’ll miss like crazy. Well done Gail. Well done, everyone.

That was this week in comics, I think I’ve earned a little mourning period. So until next week, this is Touch of Grey, signing off. Peace be with you.

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How is it I can be so optimistic at the beginning, and spitting fire by the end? Only DC.

July 27, 2011 · Filed under Uncategorized · Tagged , , , , ,

Man, I had to do the run-around from hell to get all my comics this week. The place where I normally get my books didn’t have a couple (thank you, Diamond), so I had to go to a different comic shop nearby, get them, then ride back to my LCS to finish the rest of my books. Ah well, at least I got a lot of exercise, right?

As always, the Flashpoint tie-ins will be reviewed in one go.

What to say about Lois Lane and the Resistance. This issue, it’s less Lois Lane and more Resistance, frankly. We get Grifter’s backstory, which, by the way, thank you so much, Flashpoint, for letting us know that Lady Blackhawk, Batwoman, and John Stewart died before the Amazonian/Atlantian war kicked off. That was completely unnecessary, and a kick to the head for the fans of the characters. Speaking of anally violating the people who buy your books, why the fuck did you kill off Hawkgirl again? Was once a year just not enough? Still, it paved the way for new-yet-familiar faces amongst the Furies. Giganta, Cheshire and…is that Cassandra Cain? No, probably Lady Shiva. Anyway, they’re the new kill squad sent to waylay the Resistance, along with Vixen, Artemis, Huntress…other-winged-chick, and…a blue-skinned version of Forager from New Genesis? Whoop, and then there’s a betrayal. Whelp, I think I’ve about read as much as I can stand.
Give Sterling Gates a Kid Flash ongoing. I’ll get a petition going, maybe see if the better off fans would be willing to help pay his salary. Just do this for me. For us all. I haven’t seen Bart this Bartlike since Young Justice ended. Here, he’s not just Impulse in a Kid Flash costume, or a smaller version of Wally. He’s Bart Allen. He’s got a lot of the things that made him such an enjoyable character to read about back when he was Impulse, as well as the signs that he’d grown as a person by putting on the Kid Flash suit. There are a lot of shout-outs to his Impulse persona in this issue. Thinking faster in virtual reality, doing things without thinking them through, even the way he gets hit by the information wave and falls down is reminiscent of the time he watched one of his Scouts die on Apokalips in Young Justice. I really love this mini, and I really, really hope that the ending of it isn’t what they seem to be hinting at, The Death of Kid Flash.
We now return you to your scheduled programming.

If anyone was wondering if Poison Ivy/Harley Quinn was a thing, I think this issue of Gotham City Sirens answers that. Actually, this entire issue was just a set-up for the next one, the final one. Ivy and Harley want to kill Selina. That’s pretty much it. That’s the issue. I’m sort of disappointed.

Kyle Rayner, you are scum. Seriously. I just, what the fuck? The chick he’d seen in Miri Riam’s crystal back in Sins of the Star Sapphires was Jade?! So he has spent at least two years canonwise lying to his girlfriend? She brought his slack ass back to life during Blackest Night! Oh man, no wonder Kyle looked like he’d been hit by a tornado when Jenny came back to life. Oh my god, I’m just so angry right now. I have to read something else before I flare red.

Ahh, nothing like Guy being a badass to calm me down. This issue of Emerald Warriors ends on a bittersweet note, but I’m not going to Tarantino you. The basic premise is this: Something is kidnapping Green Lanterns and destroying outposts. It’s a monster from eons ago (of course) that was recently freed when a chunk of Mogo broke open its prison. And it’s eating Green energy. I’m not sure how to feel about this issue. Yes, Lanterns die, but for the most part, they’re ones I’ve never heard of. All in all, I’d probably give this issue a 3 of 5. Good writing, pacing, and art for a one-shot, but not really much emotional depth. But next issue…Batman?!

Okay. I just. I can’t…
What the fuck just happened?
Superbitch-Prime is somehow back on Earth-One. Bart uses a virtual reality machine he invented to fight, and kill, Inertia over and over. Superboy is flirting with Ravager as he walks out of Cassie’s room with the rest of his stuff. What’s going on here? Seriously, no one is acting like themselves, except maybe Raven, who is bitching about Solstice again. Cut away to a cafe where Gar is, gasp, on a date with a chick without powers or any visibly crippling issues. Then something explodes and we’re probably never going to see her again. She didn’t even get a name. Alright, and here’s where I really take issue. Why did they choose Sun Girl as an opponent for Solstice? Sun Girl is Megan’s big firey foe. She has no connection to Solstice at all. And why is this a ‘new’ Inertia. Who is it? Is it an older Jai from an alternate Earth with dyed hair? Is it a new character we’re going to lose with the Reboot? And what’s with Indigo’s history? No, she wasn’t the reason Donna and Lilith died. That was a Superman robot. She was part of the Outsiders when Superboy shaved his head and went Luthor-induced crazy. And Inertia didn’t kill Bart, he set everything in motion so that the Rogues could kill Bart. He didn’t deliver the final blow. What is the point of this entire arc?! Is there even a point? Is this just going to be three issues of mind-fucks and fight scenes? I’m just…I can’t right now. I’m so angry. I am spitting with rage. I need to go take a swing at someone.

That was this week in comics. I wasn’t joking about getting into a fist fight. I’m going to go punch the hell out of some boxes. At least I can’t injure them. See you all next week.

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The girls are back! For another month or so!

July 20, 2011 · Filed under Uncategorized · Tagged , , , , , , , ,

Nine books this time around, geez. I think my wallet may actually be looking forward to the September Reboot. Oh, and speaking of which, be sure to pick up the FREE Reboot primer from your LCS this week! Get the skinny on the new 52, and see a sneak peek of the new Justice League! And then promptly come online and start bitching about it.

As always, Flashpoint is going to be one massive paragraph. Hold onto your hippogriffs, folks.
Wonder Woman and the Furies is one of those titles that just makes me sad. Deception across the board, war-mongering…it’s just a book I won’t buy on principle.
So, in no universe is Dick Grayson allowed to have parents. I get it, I get it. Deadman is still a douche, Count Vertigo is a good guy, hmph. If this issue ends with Dick putting on that fucking helmet, I’m going to vomit at the predictability of it all. Oh. Oh my. Holy balls. Okay, there are things I love about Flashpoint, and things I hate about Flashpoint. And Kory’s design? That’s one for the LOVE side. The costume looks impractical as hell, but I’ve always been a sucker for things that couldn’t possibly exist in real life. And her gauntlets. And her HAIR. God, I bet it’s all just painted on.
Legion of Doom is fun. It’s a villain book, plain and simple. There are familiar faces, but no real good guys. There is gruesome death, bloody executions between inmates in plain sight. And it starts Mick Rory, Heat Wave. You can bet your bottom dollar that I enjoy this book. If you haven’t picked it up yet, I do recommend it.
We now return you to your scheduled programming.

Wasn’t too fond of this month’s issue of Zatanna. Oh, no wonder, Paul Dini wasn’t writing. No offense to you, Derek Fridolfs, but Paul kinda has me spoiled when it comes to the Mistress of Magic. And when you make your one-shot issue about witch hunters and assassination attempts, well, at least the art was good. And apparently, Zee is a Doctor Who fan. Did any of you catch that scarf?

I’m only reading Legion of Superheroes for Yildiray Cinar’s art. I’m sorry, Paul Levitz, but this bad habit you have of turning an entire issue into a fight scene is just grating on me. Still, ooh, look at all the pretty, pretty ladies and gents.

So last time on Supergirl, Kara went to school to solve a mystery (again). This time, she’s compromised her secret identity after a fellow student gets kidnapped (again). And the villain of this arc, fresh off his spot in Power Girl, is , yes, Professor Ivo. The art is alright, the writing is engaging, so why do I keep feeling like I’ve read this story before?

This month’s Power Girl is so obviously for the fans. The female fans, at least. Every comic girl dreams of being a superhero at least once in her life and in this issue, a few girls actually get to live the dream. I’d like to think that superhero conventions where real superheroes show up happen in the DCU. Superman and Superboy probably love going to those things. I’m going to miss this book, it had a good run.

I’ve got a series of complaints to lodge with the two-shot War of the Green Lanterns epilogue. First off, this art is terrible. Everyone has foot-face syndrome. Okay, with that bit of bitchery out of the way, I’m just going to come right out and say it. What the fuck, you guys? No, seriously, what the fuck? The Guardians going all nuts over Hal being able to kill Krona, not immediately stripping Sinestro of his ring, Kilowog quitting…what’s going on here? And then there’s the only really good scene in the issue, the scene where Saint Walker constructs a glowing blue Sayd for Ganthet as he heals himself subconciously. That was really sweet, and will hopefully lead to a reunion.

To call Gates of Gotham an intriguing book is an understatement. It’s a mystery steepled in the history of Gotham City itself. The four families of old Gotham, Wayne, Elliot, Cobblepot, and Kane, are as deeply engrained into the Batman mythos as they are in the memories of the readers. This issue, we learn of the tragedies of years past, and how they fit into the present. It’s mostly talk with very little heavy action, but it’s good nonetheless.

That’s this week in comics, and about the end of my battery life. I’ve got an appointment with the latest Harry Potter movie, again, so this is where I take my leave. Hope to see you all again next week, same place, vaguely the same time.

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I’m happy with this week’s haul. This worries me.

July 13, 2011 · Filed under Uncategorized · Tagged , , , , , , , ,

It’s that time again! Sorry to sound like an awful children’s program, but I’m a little excited about this weeks lineup. Hopefully, some of my excitement is rubbing off on you, and you decide to read onward.

As always, Flashpoint minis and tie-ins will be reviewed in one block.

I’m not sure how much I enjoy Emperor Aquaman. I mean, it’s an Aquaman book, that should speak for itself. I just don’t care for the guy. But lately, it’s like the universe has been trying to force me to like him. Killing off Garth, elevating Mera to new levels of kickass…it’s honestly getting hard to be able to say, “Fuck everyone that lives below the ocean, land is where the cool people live.” And don’t get me wrong, there are definitely some things about this title that make me rage (Tara Markov and Helena Bertinelli are both Female Furies that serve Wonder Woman?! England is essentially a male concentration camp?!), but it’s just, it’s not bad. I feel so conflicted.
It seems to be ‘everyone try and take over the Ravager’ day in the Deathstroke book. Not a great issue, truth be told. There was a big deal made over Slade getting his crew mostly killed, but no big reason as to why we should care. Good first issue, not so good second, the third better be awesome.
I like the Citizen Cold book quite a bit. Lots of cameos from Flash history. For instance, anyone else remember Chunk, the scientist with the black hole in his body? How about Fallout, who powered Iron Heights for a time during the reign of Warden Wolfe? The one thing that really irked me about this issue, and this is a spoiler, is that apparently, yeah, Wally West is dead in this universe. If Flashpoint is supposed to be a gateway to the new 52 come September, does that mean that he’s going to cease to exist? Anyone who knows me knows that I’m not the biggest fan of Wally West but let’s face it, he was always the more compelling Flash.
Fuck the United States government in this world. Fuck it extremely hard in the ear until its collective brain turns to oatmeal. That’s all I have to say about this issue of Booster Gold. I just, I can’t even right now. I can’t.
We now return you to your scheduled programming.

Oh wow. Oh wow. It’s like my eyes and brain had sex with this comic, because holy god. Long, spoiler-filled story short, Hal Jordan isn’t a Green Lantern anymore. Sinestro is. And I, I think I’m going to cry because oh my god were the circumstances just amazing and-
Okay, Geoff. You win. I’ll read a monthly Sinestro book, no problem. You win.
Meanwhile, in Green Lantern Corps…John Stewart killed Mogo. This is the second planet he’s destroyed. Are we focusing on this? Nope, he and a rookie are going to go on a mission to stop war on the planet, get this, Vorrin-Tog. Yup, I’ve got my own planet. Anyway, I like this issue. Green Lantern Corps is supposed to be about Lanterns other than the ones from Sector 2814, and this Qurina character seems interesting. I hope they keep her around.

Batgirl is a consistently good title. Pretty much every issue is worth the cover price, if not more. But what do you get when you have one Batgirl versus five people in super suits? The beginning of an epic team-up. Stargirl, Miss Martian, Bombshell, and Supergirl guest star as what I’ve dubbed ‘team kickassia’. But what I didn’t see coming, for once, was the last page. Someone hired the Reapers to off a guy. The guy? Daddy Brown, of course! As someone who always wanted to see Cluemaster pulled apart by trains, I’m actually pleased by this ending, and where it could go from here.

Red Robin was the second book this week to make me close the book with a resounding ‘What?!’. Okay, so, Cass is still a good guy, Tim wears pints of his own blood on his back, there’s a kid that can fight better, and faster, than Cass, Tam was in love with Tim’s masked identity, and Tim killed Captain Boomerang? That’s one run-on sentence full of WHAT.

I love legacy heroes, and flashback issues. Guess what Birds of Prey is doing this month? It’s time for a trip back to post-War times with Lady Blackhawk and the original Phantom Lady, Sandra Knight, featuring a cameo by the first Dinah Lance. And of course, it’s an arc featuring Nazis. Nazis, to comics, are like the ultimate Earthbound evil, am I right? Anyway, it’s a great issue, though it’s not penned by Gail Simone, but with a cover, and interior art, by Billy Tucci, I don’t care. Can this be the new artist for BoP? Please?

I know I’ve said this before, but I adore Solstice. She’s a nice, normal girl…who happens to have superpowers. She’s a good balance to those angst-buckets who call themselves Teen Titans. Once again, Raven is being a mope. Seriously, what is with this chick? Always spoiling a good time. [Please take note: I'm taking the mick out of Raven because I can; I don't actually bear any ill will towards the character.] And look, Tim is showing humility! Is it Christmas already?! All joking aside, this was a fantastic issue. I’m looking forward to the relationships that will be established between Solstice and the rest of the Teen Titans…until September, when she’ll be wiped out of existence.

That was this week in comics! I’ve got a bit of a ride ahead of me, so I’ve got to get going now. But I’ll be here again next week, same time, same place. Ta!

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It’s a good week to be a Jason Todd fan

July 7, 2011 · Filed under Uncategorized · Tagged , , , , , , , , ,

Seven books this week, guys and dolls! And since I’ve cut a great deal of Flashpoint out of my life, only two minis and the main aside from my regular lineup. Oh, and something about the finale of the Red Hood arc in Batman and Robin..? Let’s begin.

As always, Flashpoint is going to be one big review.
In the main book, oh, what a surprise. Barry’s alive. Yaaay. Oh, yeah, and Victor, despite being the #1 heroic figure in the country, is no longer sanctioned to actually try to save the world. Whaaat the fuck. Back on the Flash side of things, Barry manages to convince Thomas to get him back up to the roof and, of course, the second lightning bolt manages to restore his speed. And then he…sews a new costume. Oh look, we’re getting into a round of Comic Book Science! Blah blah blah Speed Force, blah blah NegaForce (Sailor Zoom?). Now we’re back to Barry talking about the old Earth, being a shipper, looking for Superman yatata yatata…I swear, I am so bored reading this book. So Barry and Thomas have enlisted Cyborg to break into…Cadmus? Maybe. And- wait. What.
Is, is that the skeleton of Krypto?! What the fuck, Flashpoint?!
I have a prediction. They’re letting ‘Subject 1′ out into daylight for the first time. He wasn’t raised by the Kents. He wasn’t raised by anyone. I, I don’t think Superman is going to be a good guy.
Orrr he could turn bitch and run. Superman, everybody!
In the second issue of the Abin Sur mini, we start with a flashback from Sinestro’s training days, and how he met Abin Sur’s sister. Huh, this training sequence looks familiar. Didn’t we just see it in Thaal’s fist spar against Hal in the Green Lantern movie? I see what you did there, comic. Oh, I love how the U.S. government is always villainized as controlling of the things they don’t understand. Mainly because, well, it’s true. But yes. And now Abin works for the government! Man, Sinestro is forever the bad guy, isn’t he? Is that how this works? Sinestro = power hungry bad guy, no matter the universe? Because frankly, that sucks.
It’s teleport time in World of Flashpoint! After Madame Xanadu dies (?!) in Traci’s arms, she is sent off to find people to make a team. First up is the corpse of T.O. Morrow, next is Natasha Irons, who seems to have an arm made of (I assume) Steel, who is fighting Nazis in Brazil. Way to stereotype, comic! Then she finds Gar Logan, almost completely animalistic (who remembers Future Gar from Teen Titans? Rex Ogle does!), but she leaves him to protect Africa, to a degree. Well, at least we know that Guy Gardner is still okay. He’s in Australia, running a bar, and that’s where Traci goes next. I’m sensing a trend here. If the end moral is that Traci has to fight her battles alone, I’m going to be both torqued and pleased. It’s always nice to have an empowering female character, but teasing readers with the chance for a Natasha-Gar-Traci-Guy team is just cruel.
OH MY GOD JASON TODD IS A PRIEST.
I am expecting so much fanfic to come out of this. Please. Please. I love that this is a thing now, can you tell? Oh and by the way, I was right. I also love it when I’m right.
We now return you to your regularly scheduled comics.

In Adventure Comics, boobies! No, seriously. Lydda, you have an owl on your chest, why did you need a boob window? Because the leftover pieces of owl look like nipples. Bad fashion choices in the 31st century! I know most of this issue seems to be of the Academy students bitching about not getting into the Legion, but I can’t stop laughing at Lydda. Apparently, her boob window costume was ceremonial or something, because in her battle costume, while the window is still sort of there, the owl’s eye holes are also windows! Oh god, look at your choices, Lydda.

Okay, so I was wrong. The city under the Earth isn’t Limbo Town, but the even more ridiculously named town of Hollowville. Which is full of zombies. Okay. And once again, I was right about something. This is starting to get sad. Stop being so predictable, comics. But yes, Psionic Lad was sent back in time to kill Simon, who will apparently go evil some time in the future. And then the comic takes a turn for the weird when Parasite attacks Psionic Lad…somehow, the sorcerer from when Smallville was founded attacks Superboy, and the Phantom Stranger has been captive down below for a while, which means the guy with Superboy is…someone else? Comic, make a little sense, please? Please?

The Secret Six is up to eight members now, and I think they’re miserable. Don’t get me wrong, I’m entertained, but the characters themselves…after being released from hell, Knockout is a broken Fury. She doesn’t want anything, even her former beloved. Bane is itching to fight, as is Catman, but they don’t want to settle for each other. Ragdoll is…oddly quiet. Scandal worries for her love. Jeanette and Deadshot bang. A lot. And King Shark, well, he’s a shark. Seriously, between his introduction into the series and this issue, King Shark seems to have undergone a lobotomy. But onto the focus of the issue. Bane wants to break the Bat by breaking his children (shippers please note, Thomas called a hands-off on Huntress). They’re recruiting his villains against him. And you know what? I’m looking forward to the outcome.

Batman and Robin #25 is everything I want in life. No, I mean it. It’s drawn well, written well (Winiiiiick?), Jason is both bantery and naked in the span of only a few pages, and it ends with, well, a bittersweet happy ending. This was a great end to a good arc. Winick, I consider this your apology for Generation Lost.

And that was this week in comics! If you’re not yet following me on Tumblr, my screenname is touchofgrey37. Spamming your dash daily with Jason Todd and fandom things. Wait, that was me giving y’all a good reason not to follow me. Anyway, my laptop is about to crap out, so I think I’ll have to end this. See y’all next week!

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A quick rundown of the Flashpoint minis

July 6, 2011 · Filed under Uncategorized · Tagged , ,

And by rundown, I mean number rating out of 5. Frankly, I’m only going to read the ones that scored higher than 2, just to save myself a lot of time and rage.

Whatever Happened to Gotham City?

Flashpoint: Batman Knight of Vengeance – 1 of 5. It just didn’t grab me. To be fair, most Batman-centric books don’t.
Flashpoint: Deadman and the Flying Graysons – 2 of 5. It’s more of a Deadman title (whose Flashpoint name should, frankly, be Doucheman), though what we see of Dick and his interractions with his parents is just precious.

Whatever Happened to the World’s Greatest Super Villains?

Flashpoint: Citizen Cold – 4 of 5. It’s a Captain Cold book. Captain Cold, you guys. Written and drawn by Scott Kolins. Need I say more?
Flashpoint: Deathstroke & the Curse of the Ravager – 3 of 5. It’s got a nice look to it, and the writing is decent, but it’s a book where Slade actually cares about Rose in a way that isn’t self-serving, and that just isn’t true to his character.
Flashpoint: Legion of Doom – 3 of 5. Yes, it’s a Heat Wave book. Yes, it had Cluemaster (meaning Steph could possibly exist in this universe?) and Plastic Man at the end. But I don’t know if it can hold up over three issues.
Flashpoint: The Outsider – 1 of 5. No. Just…no. Nothing really interesting about this book, nothing redeeming. I can live without it.

Whatever Happened to the Aliens?

Flashpoint: Abin Sur – The Green Lantern – 3 of 5. For too long, Abin Sur has been regarded as ‘that dying purple guy that gave Hal Jordan a ring’. It’s good to see him in a bit of a starring role for once, though I’m fairly sure he’s going to die at the end of his mini.
Flashpoint: Project: Superman – 1 of 5. Pass. Just, pass. It’s like a Captain America origin story with aliens instead of science.

Whatever Happened to Science & Magic?

Flashpoint: Frankenstein & the Creatures of the Unknown – 1 of 5. Again, pass. The ‘go to sleep in this year, wake up in this year’ is as reminiscent of a Captain America/Winter Soldier story as Project Superman.
Flashpoint: Secret Seven – 1 of 5. Couldn’t even finish the first issue. Sorry, but pass.

Whatever Happened to Europe?

Flashpoint: Emperor Aquaman – 2 of 5. Seeing as the Aquaman/Wonder Woman storyline is a big, big part of Flashpoint, it’s good to see how it all started, and where it’s going.
Flashpoint: Wonder Woman and the Furies – 2 of 5. See above.
Flashpoint: Lois Lane and the Resistance – 3 of 5. While I didn’t like the whole ‘kill of Jimmy Olsen in order to bring Lois Lane into the Resistance’ move, the book itself is alright. Um, until that last page. Pouches? Pouches. Pouches!

Everything You Know Will Change in a Flash

Flashpoint: Kid Flash Lost – 5 of 5. Bless this book. Written and drawn well, good story, the chance that Jenni will be making an appearance…oh yes, this book has done well.
Flashpoint: The World of Flashpoint – 5 of 5. Okay, it’s a Traci 13 book and will probably have more cameos by affluental magic users. This should be a thing forever.

He Never Got the Ring

Flashpoint: Hal Jordan – 1 of 5. Damnit, Flashpoint! You spoiled the ending of Abin Sur’s mini. Pass.

That’s my opinion, what’s yours? (comic reviews to follow shortly)

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It feels like the end, doesn’t it?

June 29, 2011 · Filed under Uncategorized · Tagged , , , , ,

Ah, at last! The final four first-issues of the Flashpoint minis are upon us! And now, to see what I won’t be reading for the rest of the summer.

But first, the final Green Lantern movie prequel starring…Hal Jordan! If you can’t tell simply from the title, it sucks. But it does have a nice cameo of Guy Gardner being manly and shirtless after football, so there’s that. And then the second feature makes…no sense whatsoever. It’s about this purple chick who hates fighting being drafted into the Green Lantern Corps…and being happy about it? Hi, pacifist chick, this entire organization you just joined is about kicking ass. You are going to be miserable. Enjoy that.

As always, I’m treating the four minis as one big book, so just strap in and brace yourselves.
First off, fuck Oliver Queen and the horse he rode in on. No, seriously. Fuck this guy. He takes the weapons off of incarcerated supervillains and mass-produces them for the U.S. government, fuck this guy. Oh, and speaking of fornication, the Flashpoint Ollie is just as big of a hound as the regular one. And apparently, Vixen is a supervillain. Well, this started off great, doncha think?
Is it okay if I just…don’t say anything about Project Superman? There is literally nothing enjoyable for me about that book, so.
Okay, there is more advertising in the Flashpoint: Hal Jordan mini than in any other comic ever. What the hell, DC? It’s not even a good story. It’s a rehashing on the origin, again. Set in the movieverse, obviously. Agh, this just makes me so mad.
Now for the most part, I like British-centered titles. Knight and Squire was probably my favorite mini of this year. But I’m going to have to pass on The Canterbury Cricket, it’s a little too weird for my taste.
That concludes the last round of Flashpoint mini first issues, I now return you to your scheduled programming.

How long can a woman hold a grudge? If you’re Selina Kyle, two years pases like nothing. Hm, and it has been two years now, hasn’t it? Gotham City Sirens has always been pretty good to me. I mean, it’s a book focusing on the bad girls of Batman’s home town, how could it not be fabulous? But this last arc…I liked to think that Harley had grown from her days in Batman: The Animated Series. I mean, she’s had her own comic, worked alongside Batman, and proven herself to be a good, albiet pretty crazy, person. These last few issues have just seemed like a total regression for her, and that’s sad.

And people ask me why I love Emerald Warriors…
Guy leading with his penis aside (and don’t think I’m not going to have something to say about that), this was a great issue. It showed that in the absence of his ring, Guy can still kick ass. Then again, that was also the entire point behind Guy Gardner: Warrior, but whatever. But back to man’s primary thinking aparatus. What the fuck, Guy?! Is the Generation Lost thing still in effect? I should hope not. For those who wonder, one change Max’s mind-whammy made on the world was to break up Guy and Ice. If that’s still going, I’m pissed. If that isn’t still going, and Guy just decided to blatantly cheat on the love of his life right before he goes on leave, I’ll be pissed. The entire angle just made me angry.

Guess what’s back?! If you guessed Avengers: The Children’s Crusade, you would be correct. So last time, Wanda got her memory restored. That was good, and bad. But this time, she’s the one doing the restoring. Looks like the next three issues may be dedicated to, get this, the Scarlet Witch going around the globe and giving former mutants their powers back. Yeah, I gave a little squeak of joy when I read that, not gonna lie. Can you believe it? M-Day is going to be reversed…kinda! Not to mention that Billy and Tommy have their ‘mom’ with them now…oh, I love a happy pseudo-ending!

Anyway, that’s this week in comics!
Hey Floridians! Guess what? This weekend is Florida Supercon! Actually, let me correct myself. From Friday, July 1st, to Monday, July 4th, Florida Supercon will be happening in Miami, Florida! It’s more than a weekend convetion, it’s a long weekend convention! I’ll be there either Saturday or Sunday, hope to see you there!

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