Posts tagged Geekery

But, where shall I go for my awesome space adventures NOW?!

May 12, 2011 · Filed under Uncategorized · Tagged , , , , , , , , , ,

Man, I’m not ready for this. I can’t take it. R.E.B.E.L.S. can’t end today. I mean, if it ends, what am I going to do with all of my odd feelings for Claude St. Aubin’s art? What, I ask of you?! Seven books. I can put it at the end. I, I can do this.

Cassandra Cain’s new identity is BlackBat. I think I can handle this.

Okay, Fabian, Lynx is no Catwoman. Bat/Cat rooftop makeouts are not normal. Stop throwing women at Tim in hopes that he will bang him, this is not characterization, and it is not making you look any better. But you get points for the one-sided banter between Tim and Scarab, that was cute. I’m not really feeling this book anymore, I think the only thing that keeps me coming back is Marcus To’s pretty, pretty art.

The most dangerous thing for Batgirl in this issue is a young man’s boner for her. So large is his boner for her, he tells the people she was fighting to steer clear of her, because he is going to be fighting her from now on. Whaaaat? In other news, Wendy and the ghost of Marvin are going to Nanda Parbat! Road trip! Is it bad of me to hope that this leads Wendy to make peace with her condition and not seek rehabilitation? I like her as angry!Babs. It’s certainly made her more useful than before.

So let’s break this down. Zoom can change his age as well as time travel now, making him DC’s new Big Threat; Patty was always in love with Barry, which is why she moved away from him (shocker); Zoom has fap material for the rest of eternity now that he’s killed ‘a’ Barry Allen; Bart and Barry have apparently moved past their family issues and get along now, all in the space of ten or so pages. You know, for an issue leading up to an event, I’m not in any way impressed.

The first issue of Flashpoint left me scratching my head. Take heed, all ye reading this, nothing is as we know it. In one group scene, I literally sat here waving my arms and asking if anyone recognized the other Marvel kids. I mean, I am very stumped. I’ll read this series with one brow cocked, thanks.

Birds of Prey made me almost pee myself on the second to last page. I’m going to be completely honest here, Gail Simone’s brain terrify’s me. I don’t know what corner of her mind Junior sprung from, but I never want to travel down that alley after dark. Yes, Junior is back and more fucked up than ever! I’m going to sit in the corner and rock back and forth for a while now.

…hold that thought! I’ll lose my mind later, time for R.E.B.E.L.S.! I swear, I am going to miss this series like crazy. There were so many good things about it! The writing, the art, Lobo and Strife’s blossoming bromance, Kory’s crotch symbol, Lyrl and Vril being ridiculous, aaah. So many things I just love! Anyway, this final issue comes to a close with L.E.G.I.O.N. triumphing over Starro once and for all, Komand’r claiming Vril’s dick as her property, and possibly having the team show up during the War of the Green Lanterns. DC, please let L.E.G.I.O.N. be a series again. Please let Vril’s last line be a lead-in to a new series. That Tony and Claude are working on. I need this in my life.

That was this week in comics, for me anyway, and…is it just me, or do I always finish these things with a complaint on how hungry I am? Because I’m starving. Dinner time! See you here next week?

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May the 4th be with you, always.

May 5, 2011 · Filed under Uncategorized · Tagged , , , , , , , , ,

A frightfully small week, sadly. Five books, and not a stinker amongst them…I hope. Shall we?

Lobo, why do you look so surprised that S’Glayne’s father shot him? Or is that a look of horror..? You are the Main Man, grow a pair and just shoot him! Garbageman, I skip over. As always. As for the Tanga story…hey, remember Za? He’s a creeper. And he has his own alien harem. Run Tanga! Run away!

If I can take anything away from this issue of JSA: All-Stars, it’ll be the imae of King Chimera glaring at over-talkative nerds on the bus. The short saga of the Prince comes to a close not with a whimper, but with a bang. And holy shit, what a bang. He took out most of upstate New York! I really love the character of Roxy. She’s just so…awesome.

And so comes the end of the Legion Academy story. Grave-defiling, theft, jackassery…yeah, this crop of recruits is going to be just fab. Can you smell that sarcasm? As for the Jenni story…well, the less said about that the better. She’s not a member of the Legion, she’s refusing to join their Academy, and she’s tracing the roots of her family back to ancient times. And the entire thing was wrapped up in eight pages. I am so goddamn angry right now, y’all have no idea.

So, Superboy is evil again? I’m just looking at the cover and…red eyes, burning Kent farm, heavy eyeliner…kind of screams evil to me, folks. Hmm. Evil Superboy, every superhuman dead, Luthor brainwashing? No. Oh, I see now. Black Mercy plants! Oh, plot devices from the 80s, how I adore thee. But this art…ugh, so not my thing.

Okay, I’m going to take a minute to make a comparison. Lately, the Secret Six book has reminded me of The Walking Dead. No, I’m not saying they both have zombies, don’t be ridiculous. They both showcase all the ugliness of humanity, yes, but they both also follow a very specific pattern. Just when you think everything is going to be alright, WHUMP, an whole pile of shit falls on the main characters. This issue, after fighting the hordes of hell to win back her lover, Knockout, we finally hear someone address the issue of the fact that Scandal’s other girlfriend has been fucking kidnapped and put through the straight camp of doom. How has it taken this long? I mean, Scandal isn’t heartless, she really cares for this other chick. But…Knockout is supposedly her true love. Can she really choose one life over another? But at the same time, she should ask herself this question: would she fight all of hell to save Liana? Frankly, I doubt it. She blows off hot lesbian sex with a six foot tall redheaded stripper (which seems to be her type) in order to go to hell and drag back her ex. Sorry Liana, but I think you’ve been dumped.

And that was this week in comics. Don’t forget, Saturday May 7th is Free Comic Book Day at comic shops around the nation! As for today, well, May the 4th be with you! I’ll catch y’all later, dinner beckons.

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Da na na na na na na na Batfamily!

April 14, 2011 · Filed under Uncategorized · Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Ten books! Ten! Obviously, it’s the second week of the month. And not a visible stinker in the lot! Shall we begin?

Okay, if Dragonwing shuts her trap and Glorinth continues being the main focus of the Legion Academy youngsters, I will gladly follow. But poor Power Boy and Lamprey. I mean, I was sort of following their storyline with half a mind (two recruits that have gone far too long without graduating), but their extra years of schooling to be wasted on prison guarding…poor kids. According to the Mysa second feature, next month is going to focus on XS! Jenni returns to Legion, hooray! Ooh, and so do her artists. I am pleased as pie, personally.

So, what the heck is White Knight drowning the Arkham inmates with? Glowing milk? Irradiated semen? What the hell? Backtracking a bit, I swear, I couldn’t stop whimpering ‘BABIES BABIES BABIES’ while reading the Dick and Damian exchange earlier on in the book. It’s as if the Tumblr fandom has been writing all the character growth. Damian is the undeniable star of this book, especially during his fight with Zsasz, and what happens afterwards.

CONFUSION AHOY! This issue starts off with Tim and Kon being boyfriends, and ends with Superboy lying in a ditch after getting the shit beat out of him by Doomsday. What just happened? Well, it may help that this is apparently the fifth part of the Reign of Doomsday storyline. So, I’m not supposed to get it? Okay, let’s go with that.

Red Robin was about faith and God this month. You have one month to redeem yourself, Fabian Nicieza, then this becomes a read-in-store title.

So, wait. Hot Pursuit is an alternate universe Barry Allen that steals speed and time from people in order to power his cosmic motorcycle, and Barry is weirded out by Bart’s existence?
Well, at least the art is pretty.
Also, welcome back, brunette Bart! I’ve missed you so!

So the saga of Booster’s time herpes- okay okay, ‘chronal leprosy’, comes to an end. In the 31st century! Frankly, any time Chris Batista feels like drawing Brainiac 5, I say let him do it. I’ve really grown to adore this art, so, you know.

Have I mentioned that I love Batgirl lately? Because I really love Batgirl. Ramon Bachs can draw this series forever, and I won’t complain at all. Batman Inc really seems to be working well for Batgirl, she’s got her own Cave, her own mini-Oracle, and a purple car! A purple car, you guys! For a chick that started out in a home-swen costume, Steph is really doing well for herself.

When one of my favorite characters from my favorite title makes an appearance in my other favorite title, and they’re both written by my favorite writer, well, this means we’re in for a good issue of Birds of Prey. “What the hell is going on here, Blake?!” Well, obviously makeouts are going on here, Helena. Geez, get with the program. Is it bad that I could ship this? I really have no problem shipping this. Thomas Blake and Helena Bertinelli, the ab-tastic sexypair of the DCU! Aw, too bad the ship has been sunk. Sorta. Help me, fandom!

Pff. Lobo/Smite, brOTP. Man, Tony, why are you bombarding us with excellent space ‘ships when R.E.B.E.L.S. is over as of next month?! How twisted are you? Twisted enough to put Lobo and Smite in a bar, apparently. This can only end in an epic drinking contest, I wager. Ooh Mr. Lyrl ooh. I love all Dox family members forever, thank you. Yup, I was right! Man, if Smite lives through the end of the series, I hope he and Lobo keep in touch. The Main Man needs a pal as badass as he his.

Can I just say one thing? Judd Winick cannot possibly be writing Skeets’ dialogue. It’s far too Giffen-y to have come from him. In this issue of Generation Lost…OMACs! Lots and lots of OMACs! And then an Amazo-like OMAC called OMAC Prime! I am so sick of saying OMAC you have no idea. This was actually a pretty good issue, tell the truth. And it only took 23 issues for me to stop raging at this comic long enough to enjoy it.

Well, that was this week in comics. I have a severe craving for pork fried rice, and also cramps. Get me my red ring! I’m off to destroy the world! But before I do…

This Saturday and Sunday are going to be ridiculous! The annual spring Tate’s Comics tent sale is going on, as well as Florida Supercomics’ first Comic Stock! Incredible deals, both stores are doing a ‘fill a longbox for $35′ type thing, just fun for all ages. Tate’s will be having the FotoRobot again, while FSC is going to have karaoke and a costume contest. I’ll be at both sales Saturday, so keep an eye out!

Catch you folks later, same place as always. Peace out!

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What I thought to be a red ring kind of day has become so much…bluer.

March 10, 2011 · Filed under Uncategorized · Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Oh my god, you guys. Eleven books. And not a single one of them is fail train and- oh. Generation Lost. Ahem. Lemme get my red ring.

Let’s start out with the Legion of Super Villains one-shot. I’m a pretty damn big fan of Lightning Lord and Saturn Queen, so I’m a little disappointed that the third of their trio, Cosmic King, was absent from this book. This issue was all about the most evil of the evil attempting to have their universe descend into chaos by destroying ancient worlds that keep the balance. The Rock of Eternity was the first to go (and whoa, was that a Shazam-hand I spy?! Is Thunder going to be making an appearance?), and Oa will be the last, so what is the world in between? The art was amazing, by the way, and my metaphorical boner for Mekt Ranzz was renewed.

Weird Worlds is fun. The Lobo story featured a couple of murders and a political triple-cross, which is actually pretty typical for Lobo. Not as many explosions as I’m used to, though. The Tanga story was…amusing. Drunk monster fighting, I can get behind that.

Couldn’t get into Batman Inc this month, moving on.

“He’s like a mirror-universe Al Gore!” I love you, Hourman. Oh my god. Wildcat, Tommy you precious flower. “I’m on a boat!” That was the single best entrance ever. I hope Roxy keeps her body, I really do. Citizen Steel needs some lovin’ too. But she claims that being human grosses her out, so, que sera sera. The little epilogue with Tyler and Roxy was sweet, so, she does keep her body?

I guess being in love with your cousin runs in both sides of Kon’s family. Lori Luthor, you have something in common with Silver Age Superman, your uncle would be so proud. Wait a second, ‘Garth’? Kon, Beast Boy’s name is Garfield. I love how they touched on Kon and Bart’s friendship. I mean, everyone knows that Kon is gay for is best friends with Tim, but people are always forgetting his friendship with Bart. Neither of them had a normal childhood, both grew up in artificial enviornments, and both have very big shoes that they’ll eventually need to fill. The boys are bros. And the winner is…Krypto! Aww, puppy for the win. Congratulations, Krypto!

I’m just going to talk about puppet Zatanna. She is, at once, the most awesome, and most terrifying thing. Your soul trapped in a puppet that you have no control over? Aggggh. The art and plots in this book just get better and better, I’m never disappointed.

Excuse me, what are a bunch of Deadpool wannabes doing henching for the Calculator? “Congratulations, you just pissed off Superman.” Oh Helena, I do love you. So, Oracle is dead. Except, Barbara Gordon is not. And tell the truth, Oracle isn’t exactly gone either. For now, Proxy is going to be the go-to girl when it comes to information retrieval, and Oracle is going to…I don’t know. Build a second internet, apparently. Good issue, good arc, but I was a little meh on the art. Also, here’s hoping that Mortis never makes another appearance, because good lord. Speaking of reappearances, hiya Misfit! I hope Gail tells us where she’s been, because I missed that girl.

Just kiss the poor detective, Steph. You know you want to. But enough of that. Frankly, the real star of this issue is the new Gray Ghost, Clancy Johnson. This nutbag is just completely adorable. He calls Steph his ‘beautiful bruise’. You precious, precious flower. Oh yeah, and Proxy is an angry abandoned child with a wild stripe in her hair. I’m getting a Jason vibe, and I don’t know why.

Wait a minute. I thought Aaron Langstrom was a tiny Bat-child? When did he go human? I would give another yell of Morrison ignores all canon but his own, except this entire arc is being written by Peter J. Tomasi.
…is Damian eating a Twinkie? Actually, if Alfred made it, it’s probably an eclaire, but still. This kid…he manages to be a genius one panel, a brat the next, and hilarious two panels after that. “That’s soooo incredibly interesting, I can’t wait to tweet it.” You precious child, I just want to strangle you with my love. You know, like your mom does. Zing! So, this White Knight is after all the relations of Arkham inmates? On one hand, while this will be an interesting situation to explore, you do know that eventually, the Knight will be targeting either Dick Grayson or Bruce Wayne because of their connections to Jason Todd, a current inmate, right? Right?

Oh my god, references to gay prison sex. Boys, never stop writing this book, I beg of you.
…
I take it back oh god I take it back! I have the worst case of crying. Booster! Baby! GET AWAY FROM THE END OF THE WORLD BEFORE YOU HURT YOURSELF!

Why. Why am I doing this to myself? Jaime was, is, was one of my favorite characters ever. My absolute favorite character introduced in comics following the year 2000. I loved that kid. I don’t want to see him lying on a table, still in his armor (his bug suit. He threw up in his bug suit. He was always good about losing his lunch in the early days.). I don’t want to listen to Booster and Skeets talking about taking him home. I don’t…what’s everyone else doing? Nate and Tora are fighting, Bea and Gavril are…oh. Okay. Get some, girl. Booster, you’re good at speechifying. But then again you’ve been getting in some good practice lately and-
oh my god.
Oh my god.
Cancel the lynch mob and the mourning vigils. Break open all the champagne. All of it. HE LIVES HE FUCKING LIVES GET ME MY BLUE RING JAIME REYES IS ALIVE!
Pfff Gavril and Booster’s faces. Huh, I just noticed how totally full of hunky blondes the JLI is. Well, okay then.

And that was this week in comics. Ahem. I have a date with some corned beef and cabbage, and maybe a celebratory entire bottle of Svedka in Jaime’s honor (not really, dad, I may be legal now, but that stuff stinks. Put down the gun.). Peace out, and I hope to see you here next week.

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Look at the cover of Secret Six and try to focus on something other than Scandal’s boots

March 3, 2011 · Filed under Uncategorized · Tagged , , , , , ,

Three books this week, pathetic. And one of them is fail train, so it’s more like only having two books. Oh, and another one is essentially just a lead-in to the next Green Lantern event. Oh, this is depressing. Let’s do this thing.

Hey look, it’s Jade! With the most lines she’s had since her resurrection. And we’re finally back on the J’onn storyline! SINCE WHEN DOES J’ONN HAVE HEAT VISION?! I know I’ve yelled this question before, but seriously. It makes no sense for the heat-sensitive Martian to have fire eyes. Hahaha we’re watching Martian porn unfold on the page. I turn the page, there’s gonna be a Source Wall there, isn’t it? I mean, this played out once between Superman and Darkseid. This exact scene. Ooh, the sun. Just as good, and gorey. Oooh, White Lantern J’onn is quite shiny and apparently impervious to fire. Wait. What the fuck did I just read? Okay, fail train. I am intrigued.

Man, the Guardians used to be tall. And, like, kinda built. Damn, Krona, got enough junk in that trunk? And Carol and Hal get into the classic damsel pose, fantastic. Holy crap, isn’t Sinestro’s head supposed to be huge and his body is small? Or is this just the most extreme of close-ups? Pff, way to call Hal on his addiction to boobies, Sinestro. So, Krona is to blame for the Manhunters murder spree? I actually think I like him a bit, the man gets shit done. Not good shit, oh no, but he does get it done.

I love Insignificus. He’s creepily adorable. And speaking of creepy adorable things, Ragdoll. I’ve loved this version of the character since Villians United. He’s whimsical, depraved, and probably insane, but he’s also the hardest of cores. It’s Secret Seven versus Ragdoll and the legions of hell, while Scandal’s new girlfriend is being put through an intense one-on-one straight camp from, well, hell. I’m really looking forward to the next issue.

And that was it! God, it’s not even 8 yet. Ah, well, look for me by Tumblr, my lovelies, and see you next week!

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Something old, something new, something cleavage’d, and little Blue

January 20, 2011 · Filed under Uncategorized · Tagged , , , , , , , ,

Teeny tiny haul this week, friends. Only six books, and one of them is Fail Train. Sigh, okay, let’s get on with it. Go on and give me all you’ve got.

…but, Lorena is supposed to be lost at sea. Just before the new Teen Titans arc started up, Aquagirl and Bombshell disappeared while at sea. They’re lost. At sea. So how the hell is Mera finding Lorena on dry land?! Geoff, you have a boner as wide as the Pacific for continuity, how did you miss this? Back on Zamaron, Hawkgirl commits matricide for love! Please visualize a foofy hand flap to go with that. And Carol basically tells the shippers, “Yeah, me and Hal? Forever in the dance of UST. Just deal with it.” And then there’s sexy time! Or not. White Ring, you are the ultimate cockblocker. Seriously, that was some Shazam level cockblocking you just did. On the scale from annoying kid brother to Shazam, you’ve about passed it. That was cold, Ring. Damn cold.

Okay, I like this Nico guy. I like him a lot. I mean, he’s got a direct line to Batman, not many newbies get that. Oh, and we get a look at how the end of last week’s Generation Lost came to be. Max, I’m really starting to overlook the fact that you’re foxy and hate you again. Must be the Sami Basri art. Also, Cadmus cloned Kryto?! What could the point of that be?

For the record, Bernard Chang? I love you? You draw one hell of a great Supergirl. Aaaand we get to see just how stupid teenage boys are in Metropolis, fantastic. Ooh, and Supergirl ties almost directly into Power Girl. Remember the big cloning experiments? Well, Lois is going to be doing a story about them, aparently. Is this Alex kid a clone of Max? Because that’s the vibe I’m getting. Mind control powers, creating an iPhone app specifically to target and kill superheroes…the splash shot of it in action, by the way, was damn genius. We get to see little Iris running around as Impulse, Static in his old costume, Miss Martian out of her coma somehow…this was a good issue. I’m looking forward to the rest of this arc.

Goddamn, Sinestro. Sinestro is one of those villains that should be used sparingly. Darkseid, over time, lost his edge. He was passed around the DC offices like a bong at a frat party. But even now, especially now, Sinestro makes comic readers quake in their boots. Because when he shows up, you know you’re fucked. And Weaponer, I think you’re pretty fucked. Tyler Kirkham seems to love splash shots, and the one at the end with John and the rest of the Thunderers, holy shit. An overall excellent issue.

I like how the Legion/Adventure series’ interconnect like Legion/Legionnaires did back in the Reboot years. This issue mostly takes place on Durla and- hold on a second! R.J. Brande?! Alive? What is this sorcery?! Oh, right, Durlans. And the true mastermind is possibly Reep’s aunt? Okay, I can dig it.

Apparently, Earth-16 has He-Man. Taking a look around the shot of Wally’s bedroom, I also see a Bat-Mite doll. Oh, and I think the Superboy/Kid Flash/Robin OT3 still stands. Also, I like the little nod to the original Young Justice series with the ‘Forever Sixteen’ store. For those who are new, or simply don’t remember, at one point, Kon El’s DNA was fixed so that he would never grow up, he’d stay sixteen for the rest of his existence. Oh, and here’s another nod to the main DCU! Superboy only picked up a rack of black t-shirts with the Superman symbol. Also, I love how Kon is so totally focused on gaining Superman’s approval. That’s all he wants, his main goal. What a woobie! As much as I love the original Young Justice series, this new one is nothing like it, and I’m just going to have to live with that. I’ll try to see it for its own merits, not just the things I’m used to.

Well, that was this week in comics for me. Seeing as the Heroclix nerds are gearing up to play, I need to abandon my space and get on home. Love you all, and until next week, peace!
Oh, and I finally reread last weeks post. I’m not changing a thing, because this is one of those things I will look back on in the future and fall over laughing.

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Last week, on Days of Our Lives…

December 30, 2010 · Filed under Uncategorized · Tagged , , , , , , ,

Last week of the year, faithful readers! Oh, 2010, how sad I am to see you go. Pff, nah. Farewell, 52 weeks of partial disappointment, partial euphoria, hello 2011! A new year, full of endless possiblities. Also, this is the year I’m finally allowed to legally imbibe, which means that come March, I will be inventing the DC Comics Drinking Game. But that will be then. This is now, and I plan on reviewing these five books as well as they deserve.

Action Comics’ main story ends with a cliffhanger and features Vandal Savage alternating between sweet and murderous. It’s an interesting concept, but does it work? Yes and no. While it’s obvious that Vandal still cares greatly for his daughter, Scandal, he is still a man of goals. Since it has been prophesized that Lex Luthor would bring him his greatest happiness, he’ll do anything to make that prophecy come true. It’s my personal belief that Vandal’s greatest happiness would come in the form of a son from Scandal, but since that will never happen willingly, I’m guessing some shenanigans will be involved to make it so.
When a second feature begins with the line “I am not a male prostitute”, you know that you’re in for a few chuckles. And when the punchline is basically “Jimmy Olsen marries the daughter of Mr. Mxy in a story worthy of the Silver Age”, as well as the news that the story itself leads into a new Jimmy Olsen ongoing, well, it’s enough to make a girl positively giddy.

I hate it when I have to admit that I liked an issue of Green Lantern. In my defense, Hal Jordan didn’t show up at all this issue, it was focused entirely on Atrocious, the Butcher, and the Spectre. Hal Jordan on the cover was a lie, the best lie I’ve ever seen. Geoff, please know that I don’t hate you. I really don’t. You’re an excellent writer, you have the ability to create witty, interesting, convincing characters, but you’re in love with Hal Jordan. When it comes to him, your fanboy hat comes on, as well as your nostalgia goggles, and you refuse to characterize him as anything but Jesus reborn and walking the Earth. This Red Lantern focused issue was awesome, and I hope you do more in the future, perhaps even one that would reveal more about the Indigo Tribe, or something that tells us what Larfleeze’s oath is. The comic community will thank you.

A jealous woman is a horrific thing. I would never want to be in love with the same man as Talia al Ghul, that bitch would rip me apart. What does this have to do with Gotham City Sirens? Everything. Zatanna, Talia, and Selina are all in love with Bruce Wayne. don’t ask me why, I don’t see the appeal. But remember, back in the second issue where a flashback sequence showed Selina and Talia talking, and Talia said that they were the only two women Bruce had ever really loved? Well, she got one woman right. I’m convinced that Bruce has never loved Talia, a woman many have considered to be a psycho, but has pretty much always loved Selina, in any identity she chooses to take. Talia can’t stand that, so she wants Selina’s memories of Bruce gone. Luckily, Zatanna caught on at the last second, shippers rejoice.

Oh, Teen Titans. At $2.99 a book again, I am pleased to say that I can afford to buy you and your pretty, pretty art again. JT Krul and Nicola Scott have been doing a great job with the new team, and I’m really looking forward to seeing where they’re going with the Hindi chick. But the real stars of this issue are Robin and Ravager. I really hope Rose doesn’t have a Robin fetish or anything, because that could get real creepy real fast. We’re going to see next issue whether or not the team wild cards play well together, and I can’t wait.

Wow, Scott Kolins. That’s really bad art you’ve got in Flash this month. I mean, holy shit. I have never seen Eobard Thawne drawn so badly in my life. But the story is…okay, I’m going to be frank. Geoff, you really knocked it out of the park in Green Lantern, but this issue of Flash sucks. It really does. The idea that Zoom spends his later life time travelling to make his earlier life easier is absurd. Rip Hunter and the rest of the Time Masters exist to prevent this sort of thing from happening. Every change Eobard made to his life would immediately be undone by Rip or Booster, and therefor no change would occur. You’re the one who rebooted the idea of the Time Masters back in 52 and the earliest run of the new Booster Gold series, what the hell are you doing contradicting yourself like this? I am disappoint, Geoff.

See you next year, lads and lasses! This it ToG reminding you to stay groovy, bundle the hell up, and always support your Local Comic Store by saying no to food and saying yes to comics! Peace out, and a happy new year!

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I miss your ginger hair and the way you used to stab me.

December 16, 2010 · Filed under Uncategorized · Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Ten books, including one I’d thought was cancelled and two that it’s gonna pain me to read. Well, let’s get this over with.

Fail train, why are you always finding new ways to underwhelm me? I mean, look at this first page. The picture! It’s made of water! Ooooh! Geoff Johns, are you some kind of sorcerer?! /sarcasm. So, I just noticed, DC. You don’t really like young black heroes, do you? Or at least, you don’t like having them in large quantities. Last Teen Titans storyline, you effectively got rid of iconic Milestone character Static by depowering him, and as I don’t follow Justice Society, only JSA All-Stars (I go to wherever Cyclone is, thank you), it’s been awhile since I’ve seen Lightning or Jakeem Thunder in a story. And now we have the rise of Aqualad into prominent storylines, plus his inclusion in the animated show…Dan, listen to me. Listen closely. It’s not racial equality if you’ve only got one of every other race amid a horde of white guys. Oh look, Black Lantern Firestorm can pick up the white lantern. This character wouldn’t be half as annoying if he didn’t speak like a frat boy circa 1997. Huh, so Mera isn’t Jackson’s mom? Good to know. I guess it explains a couple of things, too. But wait a minute, if Black Manta is Jackson’s biological father, then who’s the dude in the rubber raft with his mom? Unless…no, not rape baby! Really? Really, Geoff?! That’s only the most cliched character background ever. Sorry, man, but I think you may have finally lost it. Aaand then the kid throws a tantrum and we get a mini-episode of My Crappy Life from Aquaman. I will say one thing in praise of the artist. For a shitty story, you sure ended it on one hell of a splash shot. Literally. As he is on a wave-crashed rock. Oh wait, book isn’t over? Three pages of Firestorm left?
…
Goddamnit, fail train. Well, end of story. End of company. It’s all over. Two idiot kids destroyed the universe because they couldn’t stop arguing. See this, DC? It’s my middle finger. Sit on it and rotate.

Oh, Emerald Warriors. I swear, sometimes, when the night is darkest and the comics suck the most, only you can pull me back into a good mood. I made the mistake of glancing through Time Masters directly after reading Brightest Day, and my rage was so palpable, I was practically spitting blood. So I decided to do something to calm myself down and picked up a bit of Gardnery goodness. It wasn’t a particularly happy issue, what with the deaths of several Green Lantern recent grads, but it was a good way to showcase just how much of a softie Kilowog is when it comes to his students. Kilowog was the drill instructor for the Green Lantern Corps for many years. He’s trained all the Green Lanterns from Earth as well as, I’m assuming, Sinestro, and he’s damn good at his job. But it comes at a price. He’s connected to every rookie he teaches, because it is his responsibility to teach them everything that they need to survive. And with the events of the last three years or so, he’s been seeing a lot of his kids bite the big one. It’s pretty easy for me to see past the main plotline (Guy keeping himself and several unwanted others busy so that he doesn’t go completely Red and kill his best friend/bro, a prophecy spelled out in the red blood weeks before he started this jaunt) and into the emotional subtilities. Peter J. Tomasi is another GL writer that I hope sticks around for awhile, if only because he’s so good at tapping into the cores of the beings of those he writes. Rock on, PJT.

Does no one remember Hunter Zoloman exists? Is that it? I’m sorry, I’m jumping the gun here, let me backtrack. So the two evil magic people have been defeated, we get to see the testing of the atom bomb, I get a flashback to something evil!Skeets said during 52 (“and what do you think my outer shell was made off, burned off a corpse in a shallow grave..?”), daddy Booster and MiniRip are adorable, some secondary plotline with Supernova (who is probably older Booster), and then this! Okay, so, Professor Zoom is a time traveler. I get this. But Zoom exists outside of the damn time stream! So, logically, shouldn’t more people run into Zoloman than Thawne? It’s just another case of a good legacy character being completely discarded now that the original is back in action.

Gen 13 is an odd book for me. I’d never read a single issue before Wildstorm got the rights to it, and the first time I read the Wildstorm book was when I picked up the first two trades featuring the Gail Simone-penned issues. But I liked it enough to pick it up in comic form, and now it’s approaching 40 issues. Since I’ve started reading, the team has splintered, come back together, gained new members, had a love triangle, had a lesbian love triangle, and survived the end of the world. Since issue one, Burnout has been my favorite character. And now he’s radioactive and leaving. A new arc starts next month. I don’t know if I’ll be reading it.

Latest issue of the main Batman series summary: tl;dr, Riddler is evil again, Enigma gets a reintroduction and hopefully a backstory.

See, I’ve realized something. With a series like Velocity, I’m willing to wait months for the kind of quality they put out. Rocafort and Gho are a stunning art team, and holy shit, Ron Marz. Even your terrible puns that Carin thinks, but doesn’t say out loud, are precious. But why would you end it like that? On a cliffhanger?! Oh, and surprise, apparently this isn’t an ongoing, it’s just another mini. One issue from over. Everybody say it with me now, FRAG!

Supergirl #59: The issue in which Cat Grant wasn’t a heinous bitch for once. So, Winslow Schott, the Toyman, has a son. The fact that someone would actually breed with DC’s number one pedo disturbs me beyond all reason. And then there’s the fact that we never see her face. Seems like it’ll come up in later issues, so I’ll keep my eyes peeled. But yes, with the arrival of the Dollmaker, DC has a new Crazy Ginger on its hands, and this one is like, twelve. Hm, with the reintroduction of Enigma in Batman, Velocity, and the Death of Oracle storyline starting up in Birds of Prey, I think it would be a safe gamble to officially declare this Ginger Week. I wonder if Dollmaker could ever be considered an enemy for Robin, because that would be a pretty awesome fight. Think about it. If Pyg and his Dollotrons should team up with Dollmaker and his “friends”, Robin would be royally boned. Unless he brings his BFF Abuse into the fray, then he may stand a chance. No, I’m not over that. How did I get from talking about Supergirl to talking about Robin? Obviously, I am some kind of sorcerer. Anyway, long story short, Cat Grant punches out a preteen, Christmas is saved. God bless us everyone.

So, here we are once again. I don’t like reading the main, Johns-penned Green Lantern series. He is entirely too obsessed with making Hal Jordan look like some kind of comic book Messiah, which is ridiculous. Everyone knows that comic book Jesus is clearly Batman. But I read the book anyway. because I greatly enjoy the parts of it where Hal is not present. I like Saint Walker. I like Atrocious. To an extent, I even like Sinestro. Sadly, as the main focus of this issue is Parallax taking over Barry Allen, most of the issue is their interaction. And really, even though I know he doesn’t mean to do it, I don’t think I’ve seen a more poignant love letter from Hal to Barry outside of fanfiction…ever. “He’s my best friend, Parallax! Take me instead! You know you want me! Here, I’ll help you out by hanging myself on this big ol’ cross…”

…Una Nemo called Batman gay. This is the greatest day of my life. Am I dead? Is this heaven? Holy shit. I’m not going to lie and say I’ve never been referred to as a ‘crazy girlfriend’, but god damn. Absence makes every psycho ex out there look like a saint. She’s running around, cutting off bits of the women Bruce Wayne banged because she wants him to miss her. This is not a good way to make the heart grow fonder, Absence.

I’ve been looking forward to the “Death of Oracle” storyline for a while now, and this first chapter really delivers. Gotta say, nothing says ‘lady-bonding’ like an outing to a strip club. Zinda is probably my favorite Bird, on attitude alone. “But, but he’s a cowboy!” That girl will kick your ass and make you like it, bless her. Gail, you’ve done well.

That’s this week in comics, ladies and gents. I seem to desperately require some hot chocolate, so I’m gonna go do that now. The rest of you in more Northern climates, I hope you’re staying warm! This is ToG signing out. Peace.

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Won’t you come on over..?

December 9, 2010 · Filed under Uncategorized · Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Ten books this week! An ending, a spotlight, and a special lie among them. Ooh, fun!

DC doing a decent Hanukah story? Set in Jonah Hex’s book? Really?! Man, that totally makes up for the lame Anthro story that preceded it. The DCU Holiday Special is a good tradition, but this is the first time I can remember stories for all religions being included, it’s mostly about Christmas. But this year has seriously stepped it up. Discussing Hanukah, Muslim and Christian extremists (thank you, Tony Bedard), the Persian new year…it’s unheard of and taboo, but still the most awesome thing I’ve seen done in awhile. The Legion story was also very nice, and this isn’t me being Levitz-biased; the story itself was written by Abnett and Lanning.

I really do like Knight and Squire a whole lot. Both the team and the book, I mean. And this issue is focused squarely on the cloning of Richard III! Yeah, you read that right. Of course, he’s as evil as Shakespeare made him out to be, and he clones a bunch of other former kings so that he can take over England…it’s good fun, really. He’s defeated by, well, an old king stands no chance against Twitter and Youtube, all I’m going to say.

Tim Drake has to be the luckiest guy in the world…or the only Bat the Batfamily is trying to assure the heterosexuality of. Trying the hardest, at least. Seriously, Ariana, Steph, Zoanne, Cassie, Lynx, Cass, Scarab, Tam, and now this Promise chick..? Tim has more beards than a dapper gentleman’s club. Think about it; he’s attacked by a naked chick, and his first thought isn’t ‘Hurr, boobies.’. He even turns off his suit’s cameras. Timmy boy, you are the very farthest from the realm of straight guys one can be. And we love you.

I knew that something was up when Ivy showed up. Those of you with long memories may remember that she was one half of the main villain team the first time Robin and Superboy teamed up, so I knew her presence wasn’t something to just brush off. Except, it kinda was. All thanks to Kon’s new Jimmy Olsen, Simon, and his amazing parasite frogs! Yes, you read that correctly. And then there are the mysterious old men at the end. Okay, series. I’m intrigued. Let’s see where this goes.

Batgirl is one of the funniest books I pick up. Wit and action go hand in hand, and that’s always good to see. I’d just like to say, though, that in a fight of Batgirl versus guy in a speed suit, she’s probably gonna lose unless Oracle or Proxy can hack that thing quick. Seeing as this issue was just a setup for next issue with some banter mixed in, I haven’t got much to say on it.

Mixed feelings on the Captain Boomerang spotlight over in Flash this month. One one hand, it’s good to see Scott Kolins working on the Flash again. On another hand…Geoff is basically saying that with the exception of Axel Walker, none of the Rogues he created on the old run of Flash are of any consequence. They’re next to nothing. What is this? He said it on the third page: “They’re good for a laugh, but they’re not Rogues.” Geoff, I am disappoint. The rest of the issue wasn’t that much better. Beaten as a child, the product of an affair between his mother and the guy that headed the company that first provided his Boomerangs…predictable. Hopefully, the Reverse-Flash origin in a few weeks won’t be half as bad as this.

When Booster Gold can intimidate Captain Atom into standing the fuck down, you know you’re doing something right. Banter, interesting Rocket Red-isms, Bea and Tora being all BFF-y, more than two pages of Max…could it be that Winick (WINIIIIIIICK) is doing something…right? And it’s like Joe Bennet is channeling Kevin Maguire during the ‘Booster yells’ scene! I’m enjoying this book for the first time since Keith Giffen took a hike and then…Bea gets shot. Lovely.

Oh Booster, never stop monologuing about how you miss Ted. It’s heartbreaking, but it’s still makes for some of the best things I’ve ever read. Hopefully, this isn’t the last of the I-miss-Ted issues of Booster Gold, because I don’t think I’d be able to handle it. I don’t know if I ever told you guys this but Ted Kord…he’s my everything. He and Booster were the stars of the first comic I ever read (Justice League America #34, Club JLI). Without them, I wouldn’t be writing this blog today. I refuse to believe Ted is gone forever. A good Beetle is never truly down for the count. I miss you, Blue. -cough- Um, this blog will continue after a short crying jag.

Alright, now where were we? Ah, R.E.B.E.L.S.. I like this book for three reasons: First, it’s written by Tony Bedard, whom I would root for in a writer knife fight between anyone except Gail Simone. Secondly, it stars two of the Dox line, and anyone who knows me will know my extreme fondness for Coluans. And last, feuds everywhere! Seriously, L.E.G.I.O.N. vs Green Lantern Corps, Dox vs Starro, Lobo vs Everyone…whee, fighting! Oh, this cheered me up immensely. If you’re not reading this book, you should be.

I, I want to applaud. Gail, you are the light of my life. You take an aspect from the second issue ever and manage to tie it into the last issue of the mini. Also, don’t think I didn’t catch that Paul Simon reference in there, you clever wench. I love you. I think I need to have a bit of a lie-down to recover from the awesome that is this issue. Readers, this is no longer a request. Go out and buy Welcome to Tranquility. You will thank me.

Well, this week’s review is horribly late, but I blame it on the last night of Hanukah. Next week will be on time. Nay, early! Okay, on time. But perhaps with a fancy font..? Anyway, I’m hella tired and wondering how my Gaia sales are going, so I’m gonna get out of your hair. Next week, same place? Fantastic. Peace!

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It’s a Damian Wayne sort of day, I think

November 25, 2010 · Filed under Uncategorized · Tagged , , , , , , , , , , ,

Eight books this week, and very few distractions. Am I happy? Hell yes, I am! Shall we begin?

So, Deadpool. What can I say about this guy, and this title, that hasn’t been said a million times? Very little, aside from the fact that this particular issue has Steve Rogers sitting in his lap. That…was pretty boss. I like this title. I like it a lot. Because god damn, it’s Deadpool, and he’s kind of impossible to hate.

So, who hates cliffhangers? Oh, Gotham City Sirens. You tease me with wonderful, wonderful teamups and then you make me cry. I think that this is officially an abusive relationship. But ooh, it hurts so good.

More Deadpool? Man, you’d think I liked the guy or something. But yes, Deadpool Team-Up is a delightful romp into the realm of the absurd, as is basically every Deadpool title ever…but this one has guest stars! Thor and Deadpool band together to fight a naked nerd whose body is being inhabited by a hot demon. Wade admits his attraction to Thor many times. Hilarity ensues. I’m not a huge fan of Thor, no, really this time, but this wasn’t a terrible issue. In fact, it made me laugh a few times.

Oh man, I love Action Comics. Seriously, Lex Luthor is just fun to read about. And then there’s the lead in to the Secret Six crossover that’s coming next issue, and I can’t even tell you how excited I am about that. But I think the real winner of this awesome issue would have to be Jimmy Olsen. Sure, he’s kinda drawn like shit, but hey, he pulled a Power Girl! No, he didn’t suddenly aquire huge…tracts of land. He saved the planet! Yaay! And…Chloe doesn’t give a damn. Y’know, there is no pleasing this girl. Oh, hi badly-drawn Lois Lane! How’re you doing? Find Jimmy a new girlfriend? I smell shenanigans!

Batwoman is an interesting character. No, seriously. I liked her back in 52, but after reading Batwoman: Elegy, I was hooked. It doesn’t hurt that she’s a spunky redhead, and that I can be very biased when it comes to them. Let me summarize this issue in three words: Yay, stalker Bruce! Seriously, this man is more paranoid than the Question on crack. Goes around just following Kate instead of doing his Bat-job. One thing I wasn’t pleased about was the amount of oh hey she’s a lesbian you guys! that showed up in this issue. Seriously, noting that she was released from West Point because she came out, the story of which was shown in Batwoman: Elegy, showing him going undercover in a gay club to watch her hit on girls…we get it, J.H. Williams. Kate Kane likes vagina. Let’s not make a Midnighter out of this. For people unfamiliar with the name and term, here, lemme tell you. The Wildstorm character, Midnighter, is gay. He’s married to a man, they adopted a little girl together. For awhile, Midnighter had his own series, and the writers could not for the life of them go an issue without drawing attention to the fact that he was gay. It got to be sort of a running joke within the fandom, and good lord, did it get old fast. So please, writer or writers of Batwoman. Don’t pull a Midnighter.

Batman and Robin was downright weird this month. Then again, when your villain is revealed to be a woman with a hole through her head, well, weird doesn’t really begin to cover it. Certain observations were made by Damian that I agree with. Now that the mantle of Batman has become sort of like a franchise, every player involved can become their own type of Batman. Dick is the resident HappyBats, and that’s just swell. It makes me wonder, though. How much longer before Bruce takes on a Robin of his own? And will that Robin be Tim? Or Damian?

Speaking of Damian, I’m getting a really familiar vibe off of Teen Titans this month. Back in 03, Kory was all up in a snit because the Robin on her team wasn’t Dick. Now, the current roster is up in arms because the Robin they’re working with isn’t Tim. Team, don’t be afraid to try new things! I’m sure Damian will work out fine, once he’s done being a screw-up. Speaking of unresolved sexual tension, if Damian is still on the team once he hits puberty, he’s going to get such a gigantic crush on Rose. They’re too alike for him not to.

I don’t know how I feel about the Captain Atom issues. He’s never been a character I liked, or could even partially relate to, because of the military thing, but at the same time, he’s probably an essential part of the JLI somehow. Well, he’s strong, at least. Man, Damian has been cropping up everywhere today, huh? In this issue of Generation Lost, he’s 131. Hmm, 131 years old minus the 112 years Nate was in the time stream means that the current Damian is…19?! Well, that isn’t right at all. Someone didn’t do their math right, and I am not pleased.

Well, that was this week in comics. Have a happy Thanksgiving, for those in America, and remember, next week new comics come out on Thursday. I’ll think up something neat to post on Wednesday to make up for it, though. Peace out!

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