Posts tagged Generation Lost

I have a lot of feelings about the JLI

April 27, 2011 · Filed under Uncategorized · Tagged , , , , , , , , , , ,

Seven books this week, including the end of two excellent series. Oh, and Fail Train makes its final stop today. Shall we begin?

“I…I have this instinct, Jason. To burn the black.”
WHOA GEOFF. I just, I can’t even…the hell you say?! Okay, so, long story short, Swamp Thing is going to be the White Lantern, but in order for him to live again, Dove had to die, which is why Digger’s job was to kill her. Except it was Hawk’s job to catch the boomerang he would throw, which he failed. Because the White Energy knew that Boston and Dove would fall in love, and he’d throw himself in front of her, dying and becoming Deadman again, with a twist! Dove, apparently, can see and hear him. This…will make for interesting fandom conversations about their sex life. Aw, and Hawkgirl is officially dead too, it seems. She’s the wind, now. Oh, and John Constantine is back in the main DCU? Yesssss! Now let’s just hope he has some guest time in the Zatanna series.

Action Comics is back to being about Superman. My interest, it wanes.

Completely uninterested in Batman Inc. Next book.

And we’re back to War of the Green Lanterns! In this sixth part, John shoots things, Guy is an asshole, Kyle is adorable, and Hal is…boring. Can I just mention that Entity-infused Guardians is one of the creepiest things I’ve ever seen in a comic?

The fourth issue of Velocity marks the end of the mini that I’d assumed was supposed to be an ongoing. Ah, well. It was well-written, had a good number of twists, and I would sell my soul to own an actual page of Kenneth Rocafort’s amazing art. It was a good series, and I hope to pick it up if and when it comes out in trade.

Okay, not gonna lie. The last two pages, I was screaming inside. My horror at who the boy from the crime scene could have been was sort of overwhelming me. But everyone rest easy, it’s not Inertia. In other news, Bart is making a good effort at stealing the title of Emo Teen of the DCU away from Raven. He just has a lot of feelings, okay?! A speed intervention has never been so interesting, especially because it’s not related to drugs.

I just have a lot of feelings about the end of Generation Lost. For one, Max won. He’s got Checkmate. The world remembers him as he was, but he’s got Checkmate. Then there’s the fact that Nate has been flung somewhere in history. Where did he go? Will he be back? And then there’s the fact that Justice League International is going to be a series again. My heart literally jumped into my throat, and I got the hiccups. I was so excited, I got hiccups. I just…I really have a lot of feelings about this, you guys, and I don’t know how to put them all into words right now.

Well, that was this week in comics. I don’t know what I’m going to do now, probably just wander around in a haze for a little bit until my excitement at the prospect of a new JLI series wears off. Same time next week? Groovy. ToG out.

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Da na na na na na na na Batfamily!

April 14, 2011 · Filed under Uncategorized · Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Ten books! Ten! Obviously, it’s the second week of the month. And not a visible stinker in the lot! Shall we begin?

Okay, if Dragonwing shuts her trap and Glorinth continues being the main focus of the Legion Academy youngsters, I will gladly follow. But poor Power Boy and Lamprey. I mean, I was sort of following their storyline with half a mind (two recruits that have gone far too long without graduating), but their extra years of schooling to be wasted on prison guarding…poor kids. According to the Mysa second feature, next month is going to focus on XS! Jenni returns to Legion, hooray! Ooh, and so do her artists. I am pleased as pie, personally.

So, what the heck is White Knight drowning the Arkham inmates with? Glowing milk? Irradiated semen? What the hell? Backtracking a bit, I swear, I couldn’t stop whimpering ‘BABIES BABIES BABIES’ while reading the Dick and Damian exchange earlier on in the book. It’s as if the Tumblr fandom has been writing all the character growth. Damian is the undeniable star of this book, especially during his fight with Zsasz, and what happens afterwards.

CONFUSION AHOY! This issue starts off with Tim and Kon being boyfriends, and ends with Superboy lying in a ditch after getting the shit beat out of him by Doomsday. What just happened? Well, it may help that this is apparently the fifth part of the Reign of Doomsday storyline. So, I’m not supposed to get it? Okay, let’s go with that.

Red Robin was about faith and God this month. You have one month to redeem yourself, Fabian Nicieza, then this becomes a read-in-store title.

So, wait. Hot Pursuit is an alternate universe Barry Allen that steals speed and time from people in order to power his cosmic motorcycle, and Barry is weirded out by Bart’s existence?
Well, at least the art is pretty.
Also, welcome back, brunette Bart! I’ve missed you so!

So the saga of Booster’s time herpes- okay okay, ‘chronal leprosy’, comes to an end. In the 31st century! Frankly, any time Chris Batista feels like drawing Brainiac 5, I say let him do it. I’ve really grown to adore this art, so, you know.

Have I mentioned that I love Batgirl lately? Because I really love Batgirl. Ramon Bachs can draw this series forever, and I won’t complain at all. Batman Inc really seems to be working well for Batgirl, she’s got her own Cave, her own mini-Oracle, and a purple car! A purple car, you guys! For a chick that started out in a home-swen costume, Steph is really doing well for herself.

When one of my favorite characters from my favorite title makes an appearance in my other favorite title, and they’re both written by my favorite writer, well, this means we’re in for a good issue of Birds of Prey. “What the hell is going on here, Blake?!” Well, obviously makeouts are going on here, Helena. Geez, get with the program. Is it bad that I could ship this? I really have no problem shipping this. Thomas Blake and Helena Bertinelli, the ab-tastic sexypair of the DCU! Aw, too bad the ship has been sunk. Sorta. Help me, fandom!

Pff. Lobo/Smite, brOTP. Man, Tony, why are you bombarding us with excellent space ‘ships when R.E.B.E.L.S. is over as of next month?! How twisted are you? Twisted enough to put Lobo and Smite in a bar, apparently. This can only end in an epic drinking contest, I wager. Ooh Mr. Lyrl ooh. I love all Dox family members forever, thank you. Yup, I was right! Man, if Smite lives through the end of the series, I hope he and Lobo keep in touch. The Main Man needs a pal as badass as he his.

Can I just say one thing? Judd Winick cannot possibly be writing Skeets’ dialogue. It’s far too Giffen-y to have come from him. In this issue of Generation Lost…OMACs! Lots and lots of OMACs! And then an Amazo-like OMAC called OMAC Prime! I am so sick of saying OMAC you have no idea. This was actually a pretty good issue, tell the truth. And it only took 23 issues for me to stop raging at this comic long enough to enjoy it.

Well, that was this week in comics. I have a severe craving for pork fried rice, and also cramps. Get me my red ring! I’m off to destroy the world! But before I do…

This Saturday and Sunday are going to be ridiculous! The annual spring Tate’s Comics tent sale is going on, as well as Florida Supercomics’ first Comic Stock! Incredible deals, both stores are doing a ‘fill a longbox for $35′ type thing, just fun for all ages. Tate’s will be having the FotoRobot again, while FSC is going to have karaoke and a costume contest. I’ll be at both sales Saturday, so keep an eye out!

Catch you folks later, same place as always. Peace out!

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Get my…blue ring?! What?

March 24, 2011 · Filed under Uncategorized · Tagged , , , , , , , , ,

A medium sized week, but it doesn’t look disappointing. Then again, a new DC event, War of the Green Lanterns, begins this week with the first two parts being released simultaneously, so we’ll see. Shall we get down to it?

Not interested in the main story within Batman Inc this month, gimme some of that Kathy Kane. Now, as someone who has actually read some Kathy Kane/Batwoman stories (tacky colors, ugly mask, the friggin’ purse…), she was a joke. She was just a female counterpart to Batman that either a.) needed to be saved or b.) was a romantic plot device to drive the Dynamic Duo apart. But Grant, I’ve gotta say, you’ve done good work in making me want to respect this danger-loving, hell-raising reimagining. Now if we could just talk for a moment about Jason Todd…
Also, Dick is ridiculously adorable to the point of me exclaiming it out loud. I mean, really. This jealousy is just so…Silver Age, it’s laughable. Oh you little darling.

Ahh, and so the storyline from the Legion of Supervillians one-shot continues! I hope this means more Mekt. I just…love watching him screw up. Is that so wrong? I want to keep him in my glorious hall of idiots that can never win but look pretty forever. Speaking of, stuttery Brainy will never not be endearing to me. Thom and Nura are one of my original Legion OTPs, I’m glad to see them back in the same century again. Brin Londo is the definition of badass. The original man/beast hybrid type thing. Suck it, Wolverine (don’t actually suck it Wolverine, Rule #34 doesn’t need any more ideas). “I didn’t ask for this job, you know.” Uh, trying to say something, Mr. Levitz? I mean, I know about Mon-El being elected made you a mite bitchy becaus of how it would interrupt story flow, but c’mon. Brainiac 5′s superpower is being able to compliment you and insult you at the same time. He’s a quantum jerk and we love him for it. Oh look, the mysterious Professor Li is back! So, does this mean we finally get some background on her? Maybe? Please? Cliffhanger, okay. That works too.

War of the Green Lanterns begins in Green Lantern #64, and holy shit. It’s a giant Hal Jordan wank-fest. No, I’m just…I can’t. For starters, it’s a ship war. Hal/Carol, Hal/Sinestro, Hal/Parallax…all are represented here. And that last one is just freaky. “My precious Hal.” When the fucking living embodiment of fear thinks you’re just swell, you’ve got problems. I mean, real, serious, let’s-all-go-to-the-psychiatrist problems.

The second part in Green Lantern Corps isn’t much better. This time, it’s a Kyle Rayner I’m-going-to-whine-about-not-being-good-enough parade. Kid, you’ve saved the universe multiple times. You’ve saved the multiverse at least once. Cut yourself some fucking slack and if someone says you’re not good enough, bitch-slap them with a construct of your dick.

Alex is the Brainiac/Luthor clone. I’m throwing it out here first. That’s what the little freak is. Lex and Brainy1′s baby with a bit of Kryptonian DNA thrown in. Or he’s Match unrottified and given an upgrades. I mean, that’s what kind of vibe I’m getting here. There is no way this little bastard is human, just no way. Oh, and Damian is precious here. Just…this kid. I love how he’s somehow mastered Brainiac 5′s superpower from a thousand years away. Adorable little kitten.

OMACs. Why did it have to be OMACs?! Well, because it’s Max Lord killing Wonder Woman, doy. But in all honesty, this is the first issue of Generation Lost in which not only did I not ask for my red ring, I laughed. And covered my face. And called Gavril a precious baby cherub out loud in front of the Heroclix guys. Seriously, I love that guy. Give him his own series about having WACKY misadventures in America while Fire and Ice guest star constantly. Hell, make it a people of ethnicity series, lose the ‘I am a confused foreigner, what’s going on’ element, add in Jaime (our Lord and savior) and his family, and you’ll have a fun adventure book that makes people laugh. I would read this book religiously. But really, Gavril and Skeets are the stars of this book, don’t try to fool me. “Batman remembers Max Lord?” “Yes.” “Thank. You. God.” Y’know, for an athiest, Booster sure thanks that big imaginary friend he doesn’t believe in a lot.

I’m hungry. Why is it that that’s what I always end these posts with? But yeah, I’m hungry, no more books to read, and my computer is running out of juice. So I’m gonna go get some food, see you crazy kids here same time next week? Groovy.

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What I thought to be a red ring kind of day has become so much…bluer.

March 10, 2011 · Filed under Uncategorized · Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Oh my god, you guys. Eleven books. And not a single one of them is fail train and- oh. Generation Lost. Ahem. Lemme get my red ring.

Let’s start out with the Legion of Super Villains one-shot. I’m a pretty damn big fan of Lightning Lord and Saturn Queen, so I’m a little disappointed that the third of their trio, Cosmic King, was absent from this book. This issue was all about the most evil of the evil attempting to have their universe descend into chaos by destroying ancient worlds that keep the balance. The Rock of Eternity was the first to go (and whoa, was that a Shazam-hand I spy?! Is Thunder going to be making an appearance?), and Oa will be the last, so what is the world in between? The art was amazing, by the way, and my metaphorical boner for Mekt Ranzz was renewed.

Weird Worlds is fun. The Lobo story featured a couple of murders and a political triple-cross, which is actually pretty typical for Lobo. Not as many explosions as I’m used to, though. The Tanga story was…amusing. Drunk monster fighting, I can get behind that.

Couldn’t get into Batman Inc this month, moving on.

“He’s like a mirror-universe Al Gore!” I love you, Hourman. Oh my god. Wildcat, Tommy you precious flower. “I’m on a boat!” That was the single best entrance ever. I hope Roxy keeps her body, I really do. Citizen Steel needs some lovin’ too. But she claims that being human grosses her out, so, que sera sera. The little epilogue with Tyler and Roxy was sweet, so, she does keep her body?

I guess being in love with your cousin runs in both sides of Kon’s family. Lori Luthor, you have something in common with Silver Age Superman, your uncle would be so proud. Wait a second, ‘Garth’? Kon, Beast Boy’s name is Garfield. I love how they touched on Kon and Bart’s friendship. I mean, everyone knows that Kon is gay for is best friends with Tim, but people are always forgetting his friendship with Bart. Neither of them had a normal childhood, both grew up in artificial enviornments, and both have very big shoes that they’ll eventually need to fill. The boys are bros. And the winner is…Krypto! Aww, puppy for the win. Congratulations, Krypto!

I’m just going to talk about puppet Zatanna. She is, at once, the most awesome, and most terrifying thing. Your soul trapped in a puppet that you have no control over? Aggggh. The art and plots in this book just get better and better, I’m never disappointed.

Excuse me, what are a bunch of Deadpool wannabes doing henching for the Calculator? “Congratulations, you just pissed off Superman.” Oh Helena, I do love you. So, Oracle is dead. Except, Barbara Gordon is not. And tell the truth, Oracle isn’t exactly gone either. For now, Proxy is going to be the go-to girl when it comes to information retrieval, and Oracle is going to…I don’t know. Build a second internet, apparently. Good issue, good arc, but I was a little meh on the art. Also, here’s hoping that Mortis never makes another appearance, because good lord. Speaking of reappearances, hiya Misfit! I hope Gail tells us where she’s been, because I missed that girl.

Just kiss the poor detective, Steph. You know you want to. But enough of that. Frankly, the real star of this issue is the new Gray Ghost, Clancy Johnson. This nutbag is just completely adorable. He calls Steph his ‘beautiful bruise’. You precious, precious flower. Oh yeah, and Proxy is an angry abandoned child with a wild stripe in her hair. I’m getting a Jason vibe, and I don’t know why.

Wait a minute. I thought Aaron Langstrom was a tiny Bat-child? When did he go human? I would give another yell of Morrison ignores all canon but his own, except this entire arc is being written by Peter J. Tomasi.
…is Damian eating a Twinkie? Actually, if Alfred made it, it’s probably an eclaire, but still. This kid…he manages to be a genius one panel, a brat the next, and hilarious two panels after that. “That’s soooo incredibly interesting, I can’t wait to tweet it.” You precious child, I just want to strangle you with my love. You know, like your mom does. Zing! So, this White Knight is after all the relations of Arkham inmates? On one hand, while this will be an interesting situation to explore, you do know that eventually, the Knight will be targeting either Dick Grayson or Bruce Wayne because of their connections to Jason Todd, a current inmate, right? Right?

Oh my god, references to gay prison sex. Boys, never stop writing this book, I beg of you.
…
I take it back oh god I take it back! I have the worst case of crying. Booster! Baby! GET AWAY FROM THE END OF THE WORLD BEFORE YOU HURT YOURSELF!

Why. Why am I doing this to myself? Jaime was, is, was one of my favorite characters ever. My absolute favorite character introduced in comics following the year 2000. I loved that kid. I don’t want to see him lying on a table, still in his armor (his bug suit. He threw up in his bug suit. He was always good about losing his lunch in the early days.). I don’t want to listen to Booster and Skeets talking about taking him home. I don’t…what’s everyone else doing? Nate and Tora are fighting, Bea and Gavril are…oh. Okay. Get some, girl. Booster, you’re good at speechifying. But then again you’ve been getting in some good practice lately and-
oh my god.
Oh my god.
Cancel the lynch mob and the mourning vigils. Break open all the champagne. All of it. HE LIVES HE FUCKING LIVES GET ME MY BLUE RING JAIME REYES IS ALIVE!
Pfff Gavril and Booster’s faces. Huh, I just noticed how totally full of hunky blondes the JLI is. Well, okay then.

And that was this week in comics. Ahem. I have a date with some corned beef and cabbage, and maybe a celebratory entire bottle of Svedka in Jaime’s honor (not really, dad, I may be legal now, but that stuff stinks. Put down the gun.). Peace out, and I hope to see you here next week.

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I may just start a Tumblr like that…except Beetles must be remember for the good times, not the bad

February 24, 2011 · Filed under Uncategorized · Tagged , , , , , , , , , , ,

Oh, what a small week. Five books, one of which is guaranteed to either make me happy beyond words, or so full of rage, I begin spontaneously spewing blood everywhere. Let’s do this thing.

Larfleeze, your quirkiness is amusing beyond words. “Hairless Lex Luthor!” Yes indeed. Oh my god, is he doing a, a Gollum impression? You precious little flower. I think Glomulus is his favorite Corpsblob or something, because Larfleeze doesn’t just hug anyone. Oh my god. So he’s behind this. Of course he is. Who else could it be? I’m hoping that the reinclusion of Brainiac in Lex’s life will finally lead up to where the hell the Brainiac/Lex clone has gotten to.

Harley has snapped. I know people will argue that she’d snapped by the time she first showed up in Batman: The Animated Series, but at least she was happy then. This Harley is just a tightly-wound ball of rage and hatred in a fancy hat. A manipulative woman we’ve never really gotten to see much of before. And she wants the Joker dead. Good luck, honey. You’ll need it.

So, Peeg. You dug up one of your dead friends to prove to Dick Grayson that Max Lord was real. How does that feel? Not gonna lie, this issue made me facepalm and yell at Dick a lot. Bruce, however, was sort of awesome for once, though his whole ‘I remember everything’ sort of cemented him as DC Jesus in my eyes. In other news, Nicco, you would be an awesome liar if ladies smarter and more fabulous than you weren’t around to spoil everything. Also, I have this feeling that the next couple of issues of everything that ties into Generation Lost is going to be all Crying About Beetles dot Tumblr dot com.

My rage has flared to previously unimaginable levels. I don’t care about you anymore, Max. The sleazy, sometimes goofy businessman from times past is dead to me. I don’t care that you’re essentially a momma’s boy with a god complex. I don’t care that your mommy was in Coast City when it was destroyed. A lot of people lost their lives in a tragedy that no one could have stopped once it got started. There’s only one thing I care about right now.
Jaime Reyes had almost seven years. He was introduced during Infinite Crisis to immediately replace the fallen Ted Kord. In the seven years he was around, he had his own series, a spot on the Teen Titans, a few back-up stories in Booster Gold, and a snug place in the hearts of many of DC’s readers. His popularity only grew when he was introduced to the rest of the world through Batman: The Brave and the Bold. He was always a smart, responsible, goofy kid that loved his friends and family. He, he wanted to be a dentist so that his sister could go to college and his parents would be assured an easy retirement. And now he’s dead.
That was one of the worst things I’ve ever had to type. Who’s going to tell his family? Who is going to tell Paco and Brenda? Who is going to have to stoop down and tell Milagro Reyes that her big brother isn’t going to be coming home because a man they’ve never heard of, a man they didn’t even remember existing, killed him just like he did the Beetle before him? I can’t do it. Booster shouldn’t have to do it. No one should have to. Because this boy didn’t deserve to die.
All I can say about this entire this is this: DC, if you’re doing your whitewashing thing again by killing a minority character in order to bring in a white guy, that white guy had better be Ted Kord. Not a new character. Not a PoC. And you better not be retiring the mantle of Blue Beetle, either. You fucking bring back Ted Kord. Or I just…I don’t know what I would do. I’m way too invested in your better series’ (Birds of Prey, Batgirl, Secret Six, etc) to be able to keep a boycott of DC for even a week. I just don’t have any answers right now.

(this review was written before the above one, but moved to the bottom so that this entry would end on a happy note)
Damian, you precious flower. AUGH. AUGH. KON, TIM, MAKE WITH THE KISSES ALREADY. No, seriously. You boys need to just get over yourselves and your issues and just make the kisses happen. Well, I guess it’s 100% confirmed now then, isn’t it? Kid Eternity is even deader than he was before the Calculator got to him. How does that work, exactly? Did he just…disapparate or something? Become discorpereal? What? I mean, the character’s whole schtick is that he’s already dead, he just can’t go to heaven or hell yet. So, what’s going on? Did he finally cross over? You’d better get back to me on this, Teen Titans. I want to know. So…Tim’s back on the team, and Damian has been curbed? Well, that sort of makes sense. Dami’s only ten or so, he wouldn’t really fit in with this particular team of Titans yet. Try again in a few years, Dick. Aww, how cute. And I know people are gonna be like, he called Dick his only friend! No. He’s talking about Colin. You know, Abuse from Streets of Gotham. He and that kid are totally BFFs. Dick isn’t his friend, Dick is his substitute daddy that hugs too much.

And that was this week in comics! Sort of. Look, I know two Deadpool titles came out today but I just…I can’t follow that guy. As much as I love him and his concept, I just can’t stay interested for more than two or three issues at a time.
Oh, and speaking of Tumblr, I’ve had one of my own for several weeks now! Follow me at touchofgrey37. But as always, parental advisory is suggested. I swear like a sailor.
Peace out, you guys. Got some computer problems I need to fix. Same time next week? Swerval.

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-insert expletive here- YOU JUDD WINICK

February 10, 2011 · Filed under Uncategorized · Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Ten books. Ten. Holy shit. And Fail Train isn’t on the lineup. In fact, I’m not expecting any of these to suck. Holy Moley.

Knight and Squire is always good for a chuckle, so- oh my god! Since it’s hard to emote without vocal inflection, that was an indignant yell. This is supposed to be a funny action title, what the hell is the Joker doing in England? Ohh, I’m not pleased.

Okay, lemme be the first to say that I’m a fan of Chemical Kid’s glowing green glasses. Actually, I like the designs of everyone in the new Legion Academy. That doesn’t mean I like their personalities, though. Glorinth seems okay, but Hadru is a ridiculous brat. Dragonwing seems like a bit of a bitch, too. If Adventure Comics is going to be detailing the adventures of the kids in Legion Academy from now on, I could dig it.

…kiss of rage and burning blood? Oh, Guy, you silly boy. Pff, of course the telepaths would bitch while Bleez is trying to help them. Okay, now, maybe a Green Lantern veteran reader can help me; who the heck is Aleesun? Whoever she was, she seemed to mean quite a bit to Guy. Ah well, if no one answers me, I guess I can wait until next issue.

I believe the last issue of R.E.B.E.L.S. ended with someone stealing Tribilus. Except, apparently, Smite wasn’t after Tribilus, he was after Dox. And now Starro has made the Psion homeworld the cornerstone world for his new empire…wow, our universe is fucked! No, really, our universe is fucked. So, you remember how the Psions were cloning things? Well, they’re cloning Czarnians. I guess the only good thing is that Starro is unable to control them. But still, an army of Lobo? This can only end in mass bloodshed and/or sex. Or maybe not. Lobo, you smart bastich. Oh shit! Is Stormdaughter…dead? I hope not, she was a pretty cool character. Ah well, cliffhangers abound.

I’m still a little wary about the Speed Force motorcycle. I mean, it’s a pretty lame idea. But Sam (one of the people that works at my LCS) just offered the suggestion that it could be John Fox, the Flash of the 25th century. But that seems unlikely. For one, John Fox is way too cool to do something as lame as have a Speed Force motorcycle. Then, there’s the existence of the Reverse Flash Task Force. Why would 25th century Central City need both? Methinks John Fox may be no longer in continuity. ‘Elongated Kid’? And it’s a dead old man?
Wut.
So the motorcycle guy is…but…what?! Okay, prediction time. Elongated Kid is the anomaly, and he’s actually Ralph and Sue’s unborn child from an alternate timeline. You heard it here first, folks.

I’m gonna be completely honest, Batman and Robin is all about Robin. Damian is a brat, and we love him for it. He’s even grouchy with a milkshake in one hand and his family all around. You little snit, I love ya. Anyway, the issue starts out with a suicide and ends with lots and lots of glowing bats. It was a good issue, but honestly, every part that didn’t have Damian being a brat sort of made my eyes glaze over. The kid stole the show.

Damn, and here I was hoping that Tim would ditch the condom-cap and stick with the Uternet costume permanently. Have we mentioned that Catman is badass lately? Because he is. When a member of the family that used to beat you up for fun acknowledges that you’re a BAMF, then by god, you’re a BAMF. But this issue isn’t about Catman. It’s about Tim calling Superboy Kon.
No, seriously, he did. Go check, I’ll wait. See it? Ohmygod! Aaand then Damian steals the spotlight in this issue, too. What is it about that kid that makes writers focus on him? Augh, I hate that I love him so much. And then the Calculator was a bomb! There are many bombs! Everybody panic! The art in this issue was fabulous. Marcus To, I give you my blessing to draw teenagers forever.

Batgirl is one of those series’ that just puts you in a good mood from start to finish. I mean, the plot of this issue is that Steph and Klarion (bum bum BUM) the Witch Boy are on a mission to get his familiar laid. No, seriously. I liked the nice little hat tip Klarion gave to his old musical sting, too. Though I am a bit torqued that Teekl has been rebooted to be male. I guess DC was getting tired of all the beastiality jokes. Hold your rotten veggies until the end please, folks.

Dinah, your mom is hot. Meaning no disrespect to the dead, but dayum. I hope Gail Simone never becomes my subconcious. I love her, but she’s way, way too good at making people she writes feel guilty. She’s like nine Jewish mothers and a middle school principals wrapped into one being of infinite power. Oh god, I just gave myself goosebumps at that thought. Current, I hope you die in a fire. He pimp slapped Lady Blackhawk! Who does that?! No one! What the hell?! Wow, Hank, you’re horribly drawn this issue. I mean, wow. The ladies, however, look excellent, especially Dove. I’m really starting to like this character again. What?! Another cliffhanger? Fab.

WINIIIIIIIICK. GOD DAMNIT WHAT THE FUCK.

That was what I excused myself from the comic store to scream outside until my voice broke. Damnit, Judd. Damnit, DC. GOD DAMNIT, MAX LORD. Did the original Blue Beetle kill your puppy? Rape your mother? Is that why you’ve seen to it that everyone that holds the Scarab, that you can get to, must die of a gunshot to the head? As soon as the issue opened, my heart clenched. In a series like this, if there’s a flashback to better times, someone is going to die. Someone is going to die. First issue of Identity Crisis, Ralph was telling Firehawk how he and his wife met. Four pages later, death. But you couldn’t just kill him, could you, asshole? You had to give us hope. Jaime escapes! Jaime gets a signal out so that the rest of the JLI can find him! Power Girl is off to tell the world about how evil Max is! The JLI makes it to Max’s hideout! Jaime says something funny!
DEATH.

Fuck. You. No more. I thought Jaime would be protected, Editorial mandates and what have you. He was a character Infinite Crisis spawned, Dan Didio liked him, fans liked him, he was the first Blue Beetle ever brought to TV. He’s supposed to be on Smallville soon. He has a family that loves him, friends outside of the superheroing set. His little sister ships Boostle. He has a good relationship with both his living parents, and he took his grandma flying once. I, I’m not gonna cry. I refuse to give you the satisfaction. He isn’t dead, this is just the mother of all fakeouts. It had better be.

That was this week in comics. I’m gonna go have dinner, then rock back and forth while clutching my knees and sitting fully clothed in the shower. Peace out.

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Tiny week, early post. Coincidence?!

January 26, 2011 · Filed under Uncategorized · Tagged , , , , , , , ,

Wow, tiny week. Four books, that’s sort of sad. The reason this review is going up so early is because I’m actually writing it in the comic shop (Crossroads, on University for those in the know). Broward County has been hit by some massive thunderstorms in the past couple of days, and one of them knocked out my power. Anyway, enough of my woes. To the books!

“Jazz hands!” Lex and the Joker. Just from saying those two names, you know an issue is going to be good. I don’t really like the Joker, never have, but I like it when he can call people out on their own delusions. Well, that’s interesting. I have no idea where this entire quest is going anymore. Does Lex want to become the master of death? Does he just want to collect rings and energy? Seriously, what? But hey, for our patience, we get a little Larfleeze next month, so that’s okay.

Wow, Kara. I forgot all about that haircut. It…looked spectacularly bad. Uh oh. Peeg thinks she’s fighting Superman? Congratulations, Nate, you’re epically fucked. What I want to know, Max, is how do you get Batman out of Booster? No, really. Clue me in. If I were controlling Power Girl’s mind and I wanted her to see a Justice League gone evil in place of her friends, I think I would have gone the all-alien route. Maybe it’s just me having my sexy-Max blinders on, but is anyone else seeing this torture scene as kinda…prelude-to-rape-y? Of all the powers in the superhero grab bag, I think I would want superhearing the least. Sure, no one would ever be able to sneak up on me, but is the intense pain every time someone plays a Daft Punk CD really worth it? And now Kara is on the team. Good show, Generation Lost, good show.

Evil puppets? Creepy. Not-so-evil puppets? Still creepy. Just because you didn’t kill the guy, what makes you think that you’ve got the right to try killing Zatanna? For the third time, I may add. Ah well, you’re pretty lucky Zee is good people, Hampel. The little second story, about Zee as a teenager, was beyond adorable. Not to mention a poignant love note to the 80s. Oh, Speak and Spell. You know some nerd that still has theirs is going to go home and try that, now.

Okay, I have a theory. If Damian stays with the Titans, he’s going to have a ridiculously hilarious not-crush on Rose. “Girls are gross! Um, especially Rose. Because she’s a girl. And girls are gross.” Their banter is just precious. They should start a ‘damaged kids’ club within the team, for Titans with crazy parents. Inertia cameo?! Well, Inertia outline cameo. Still made my day. Aaaand Kon splits with Cassie. I saw this. I saw this coming like, two issues ago. “Well, maybe this Wilson isn’t so bad.” Damian, just admit that you love Rose with all your psychotic little heart. You know you want to. Cliffhanger! I’m guessing this has something to do with the next issue of Red Robin. Okay, I’m intrigued. Go on.

Well, that was this week. I’m going to spend some time with my man, maybe go to the other comic store in the area (Tate’s Comics, for those in the know), then head home to see if the lights are back on. I hope they are. Just because I carry a flashlight around doesn’t mean I want to have to use it all night. Until next week, peace out!

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A good week? What is this, Utopia?

January 13, 2011 · Filed under Uncategorized · Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Second week of the month, you know what that means! Eleven books! No fail expected! Can you handle this?! Let’s see if you can.

Okay, Paul Cornell should write Batman and Robin from now on. Please don’t let this one arc be it, because holy shit. Una Nemo, Absence, is one of those Bat-villains that has potential lasting power. She has a grudge on Bruce Wayne and typical Silver Age female motivation: to get the man she’s pining for to notice her. Sounds simple and almost silly, right? Well, Absence has one up on the women of the Silver Age because, guess what? She’s a friggin’ evil genius. Luring all the Batmen possible to her so that her gang can take out the people who tried to kill her the first time around, testing the strength and mettle of the Batman/Robin bond…brilliant. From my keyboard to DC editorial’s ears, Absence could be one of the great Batman femme fatales, don’t let her fall into obscurity.

Let me just say, I love how Cyril has a Southern Butler. He really is the Batman of England, and this ‘Hank’ seems like just the right person to be his Alfred. And ohmygod, Shrike and Cyril doing the guy thing. I swear to god, I was half expecting a line like, “You break her heart, I’ll break your legs.” Booooys…Beryl is quite possibly one of my favorite characters now. I mean, she’s so…hngh. If you’re not reading Knight and Squire yet, hop to it. Two issues left, and I can’t stand it.

Holy shit. What is this garbage?! Who stole Helena Sandsmark’s personality and replaced her with a bitch? Okay, a little bit of the history of the current Wonder Girl and her mother. Cassie has never really had a hard time getting her mother to support her career as a superhero. Helena worked at the museum that Cassie first swiped the magical tools that granted her original powers, and seemed to have very few qualms about Zeus granting her powers of her own. She literally got into a fist fight with Arrowette’s mother over letting their daughters be superheroes versus forcing them to. In the midst of the Amazon Attack, Helena was placed in a sympathizers camp, because she was the mother of Wonder Girl. Helena has NEVER been truly against Cassie being a hero. So what is this?! Blatant disregard of character history. I dub thee fail. But it was nice to finally officially meet the character that’s eventually going to become a Titan, Solstice. I like her character design, very pretty. Holy bi-polar, Batman! Did Cassie’s mom have a second personality transplant on top of the first? I find this odd, because J.T. Krul is normally such a good writer, but his characterization of Helena Sandsmark is, well, way off the mark.

Oh, Damian. You know you love Alfred like a grampa. Give it time, the revelation will come to you. How is it that every time Damian and Steph team up, I find myself falling more and more for the little bastard? He’s just too cute! I know this is the Batgirl book, but I wouldn’t object at all to more teamups between these two. Damian trying to blend in on a field trip, Steph teaching him how to play in a bounce house…DC, I’m begging you. Make this a regular thing between arcs. Damian needs a fun big sister to counterbalance the rest of his nutty family.

“No skin off my full, lustrous head of hair, man.” Oh, Deadshot. Never stop being amusing. This month’s Secret Six is a direct continuation of the last issue of Action Comics. In it, we see that Vandal really does love his daughter, Lex, while hot beyond words, is the biggest prick of all, and that Black Alice is probably the best and worst person to have on your team ever. “Is that a giant green catching mitt? I’d rather take the fall.” Oh, one-liners.

AUGH! That first giant splash page of Kilowog yelling at Guy actually caused me to jump. I’ve come to a conclusion about the Red Lanterns. Their power? It’s bulimia. Bleez barfs up a knife to take out a planetwide ring of defense, then chews on the big bad. This is how Red Lanterns stay so fit, everyone! Their power is purging!

Guillem March, you glorious bastard. The art in Birds of Prey was so pretty, I’m not even sure how to handle myself right now. And Gail, that scene with the Penguin was just horrifyingly creepydorable.

I want Tim to keep this new suit. He would have the best way of explaining how it came about. “It came to me in a dream!” The Uternet, which, by the way, is the worst name for a supervillain’s MMORPG in the history of ever, has been breached and corrupted! Tam Fox secretly wants to be a blaxploitaion heroine named Foxy Lady! Tim, or Lonnie, wants Cass to be Batman! Never change, book. Never change.

Oh god, please don’t let me turn the page to see that Lobo has a daughter. PLEASE don’t let me turn the page to see that Lobo has a daughter. Let’s just go back to Vril and Komand’r being flirty, lovey dovey time with Adam and Alanna, and Lobo harassing Captain Comet about how Kory just wants to bang him. Yaaay, more flirty flirty with Vril and Komy and…Stormdaughter? Stormdaughter is a Czarnian? Please don’t kiss him. Let the close-up on her lips mean that she’s about to start singing Science Fiction Double Feature, not that Stormdaughter is about to make out with Lobo. Don’t do this to me, Tony. I’m in no state to start shipping anything tonight. AUGH. You did it! You finally did it! You blew it up, damn you! Nice to see the phrase ‘Feetal’s gizz’ back in action, though. I missed it. (I should not find Lobo ripping his shirt as hot as I do oh god what is wrong with me damn you Claude St. Aubin you draw everyone too hot) Oh, good. It was just a pheromone. Worried me for a second there, Tony. Lobo isn’t Superman, he made sure he was the last of the Czarnians. In other news, trying to imagine a Tamaranian/Coluan hybrid just made me wince. The kid would be a walking Christmas decoration. Oh noes! Why you be stealin’ my Tribilus?

…Booster is 35? No wonder he’s so touchy about the possibility of going bald. Origin story, origin story, “Women in dozens of eras across history have sung the praises of my ass!” fight scene, fight scene, Iron Man reference (how?), banned from his favorite coffee place, origin story, YOU’RE UNDER ARREST! Ladies and gentlemen, that was Booster Gold #40 in a run-on sentence. Thank you.

So this entire run-around was just so Max could regain control of Checkmate and reactivate the OMACs? Max, I think you should just wear a big name tag, because you’re going to get sick of introducing yourself over and over. Also, when did Kara add high heels to her costume? She didn’t, that’s when. Stupid artist.

I’d like to just say, the latter half of these reviews were written while I was half asleep. I apologize for any unintentional humor, and if it suits me, I’ll rewrite them at a later date. Peace out, and stay warm.

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Oh the weather outside is frightful…no, seriously, I’m freezing

December 23, 2010 · Filed under Uncategorized · Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Happy Wednesday-before-Christmas, everyone! We’ve got eight books to cover, including two one-shots and the answer to the all-important question we’ve waited months for: Who shall lead the Legion of Superheroes?

First up is the long awaited Larfleeze Christmas Special. All I can say is, I’m glad DC already did their usual Holiday Special, because this one-shot, focused on Larfleeze’s hunt for Santa Claus, was ho ho horrible. Try again next year, maybe with a Batwoman Hanukah Adventure.

So, let me ask you something, DC. If you’re trying to uphold the sanctity of death, then why on earth would you reintroduce a character whose only power seems to be coming back from the dead?! Is it because Morrison is writing Batman: Incorporated? I bet it is. You guys let him get away with murder. Long story made incredibly short, Lord Death Man is now spacebound, and Japan has a new Batman. Also, Aquazon from the Super Young Team cameos, hyper-mega! Yeah, i probably shouldn’t do that again.

I’d like to congratulate two people today. Firstly, congratulations to Mon-El for being voted into leader of the Legion of Superheroes. Way to go, pal. Secondly, I’d like to congratulate Querl Dox from Gaia Online for guessing the outcome of the Legion Leader Poll a month or so in advance. Way to be as smart as the person you play, man. Legion was amazingly good this month. I’m really starting to get a feel for the character of Tellus. Having grown up reading the Reboot, I’d never even gotten to meet him until he started showing up in Action Comics a year or two back. In fact, I’m interested in getting to know all the characters that had been left out of the Reboot and Threeboot. Speaking of the Reboot, though, where the hell is XS?! She wasn’t even counted as an active Legion member when the vote for Leader came up! I am not pleased.

What? What? Tim, how would you know that the miniseries in which your father died was called Identity Crisis? Seriously, was that was Bruce classified it as? Why would he even do this? One panel into this Teen Titans one-shot and I’m enraged. This does not bode well. Aw, Eddie’s in this! I’ve missed him. Wait, is Ravager wearing a thong with the Robin symbol on it? Aaaand we’re back to me raging. Wait. Wait. Is Tim about to hit Eddie with a rolled up comic like he’s a bad dog?! Aw, Eddie has concern for Rose. And he really is a good fanboy detective. Wait, since when did Ravager’s costume have heels?! How is it that despite being the same age, if not older than the other people on the team at the time, everyone still treats Eddie like a kid? Of course you wish Kon was there, Cassie. That was the only thing you ever wanted during the OYL storylines. And now that he’s back, you treat him like shit, way to go! Little hearts? Really, Sean Murphy? You think this particular scene called for little hearts?! And then Pandora’s box was opened. Verdict: Teen Titans Cold Case was alright. Yes, it made me rage, but mostly, it was okay. Also, it made me really, really miss Eddie.
(The above is a reaction review, pay it little to no mind, as I was out of mine at the time.)

Green Lantern Corps amuses me. Any comic that has John Stewart blindfolded and bound like a calf at a rodeo is cool by me. We also get to see the extent of the pact between Ganthet, Guy, and Atrocious, and boy is it disgusting. I really haven’t got much to say about this particular comic, but the next one should be pretty awesome. The entire Sinestro Corps versus the Weaponer, now taking all bets. My money is on Natu shooting him before they even get to the surface of Qward, but that’s just me.

So, Zatanna freaked me the hell out this month. I’m not afraid of puppets, per say, but ever since I saw the movie Dead Silence, I’ve been no big fan of those wooden monstrosities. Paul, you are fantastic at setting things up. Fuseli, from the Brother Night storyline, takes Zatanna on a guided tour of one of her most prominent nightmares, at her own request this time. Hm, seems she and Daddy Z were even more similar than she thought. On a lesser note, I’m so in love with Zee’s stage manager now. “Are those real @#$%ing stars?!” Also, I happen to love how Zatanna’s therapist takes the form each of her clients would be most comfortable with. That’s one heck of a skill.

Man, I can’t get over how bad the art in Power Girl is now. I mean, maybe I was a bit spoiled by Amanda Conner, but holy crap, Sami Basri is right up there with Damion Scott on the DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WANT list in terms of art. And the plot, well, I already said my piece about Judd Winick taking away one of the only pieces of happiness in comics I got, so I think I’ll just stand down. I love minor characters. So when I saw the false-killing of Kara’s personal assistant/hacker Nicco, I flipped my shit a little bit. Max’s mind-whammy rears its ugly head yet again to keep people from finding out about him. You smug, glorious bastard. And don’t think I’m not talking about Max, too, Winick.

Generation Lost made me cry. Fire almost dying is not a good thing. Fire and Ice are probably my two favorite female heroes at any given time (sorry, Steph, Dinah, Helena, and Jesse), because aside from Wonder Woman, they were the first female heroes that I ever read about. But yeah, that’s the main plot of this issue: Fire was shot, and is now slowly dying. Except, enter Jaime and his magical ability to find healer mummies. Yeah, I don’t know either. End result: Fire makes a full recovery thanks to the magical healer mummy, and Max kidnaps Jaime. Way to end the year on a happy note, you guys!

And that was this week in comics. I’ve got a killer migraine and an insatiable hunger for microwavable yakisoba, let’s see if I can’t solve both in one fell swoop. Catch you later, fight fans! Peace.

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Won’t you come on over..?

December 9, 2010 · Filed under Uncategorized · Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Ten books this week! An ending, a spotlight, and a special lie among them. Ooh, fun!

DC doing a decent Hanukah story? Set in Jonah Hex’s book? Really?! Man, that totally makes up for the lame Anthro story that preceded it. The DCU Holiday Special is a good tradition, but this is the first time I can remember stories for all religions being included, it’s mostly about Christmas. But this year has seriously stepped it up. Discussing Hanukah, Muslim and Christian extremists (thank you, Tony Bedard), the Persian new year…it’s unheard of and taboo, but still the most awesome thing I’ve seen done in awhile. The Legion story was also very nice, and this isn’t me being Levitz-biased; the story itself was written by Abnett and Lanning.

I really do like Knight and Squire a whole lot. Both the team and the book, I mean. And this issue is focused squarely on the cloning of Richard III! Yeah, you read that right. Of course, he’s as evil as Shakespeare made him out to be, and he clones a bunch of other former kings so that he can take over England…it’s good fun, really. He’s defeated by, well, an old king stands no chance against Twitter and Youtube, all I’m going to say.

Tim Drake has to be the luckiest guy in the world…or the only Bat the Batfamily is trying to assure the heterosexuality of. Trying the hardest, at least. Seriously, Ariana, Steph, Zoanne, Cassie, Lynx, Cass, Scarab, Tam, and now this Promise chick..? Tim has more beards than a dapper gentleman’s club. Think about it; he’s attacked by a naked chick, and his first thought isn’t ‘Hurr, boobies.’. He even turns off his suit’s cameras. Timmy boy, you are the very farthest from the realm of straight guys one can be. And we love you.

I knew that something was up when Ivy showed up. Those of you with long memories may remember that she was one half of the main villain team the first time Robin and Superboy teamed up, so I knew her presence wasn’t something to just brush off. Except, it kinda was. All thanks to Kon’s new Jimmy Olsen, Simon, and his amazing parasite frogs! Yes, you read that correctly. And then there are the mysterious old men at the end. Okay, series. I’m intrigued. Let’s see where this goes.

Batgirl is one of the funniest books I pick up. Wit and action go hand in hand, and that’s always good to see. I’d just like to say, though, that in a fight of Batgirl versus guy in a speed suit, she’s probably gonna lose unless Oracle or Proxy can hack that thing quick. Seeing as this issue was just a setup for next issue with some banter mixed in, I haven’t got much to say on it.

Mixed feelings on the Captain Boomerang spotlight over in Flash this month. One one hand, it’s good to see Scott Kolins working on the Flash again. On another hand…Geoff is basically saying that with the exception of Axel Walker, none of the Rogues he created on the old run of Flash are of any consequence. They’re next to nothing. What is this? He said it on the third page: “They’re good for a laugh, but they’re not Rogues.” Geoff, I am disappoint. The rest of the issue wasn’t that much better. Beaten as a child, the product of an affair between his mother and the guy that headed the company that first provided his Boomerangs…predictable. Hopefully, the Reverse-Flash origin in a few weeks won’t be half as bad as this.

When Booster Gold can intimidate Captain Atom into standing the fuck down, you know you’re doing something right. Banter, interesting Rocket Red-isms, Bea and Tora being all BFF-y, more than two pages of Max…could it be that Winick (WINIIIIIIICK) is doing something…right? And it’s like Joe Bennet is channeling Kevin Maguire during the ‘Booster yells’ scene! I’m enjoying this book for the first time since Keith Giffen took a hike and then…Bea gets shot. Lovely.

Oh Booster, never stop monologuing about how you miss Ted. It’s heartbreaking, but it’s still makes for some of the best things I’ve ever read. Hopefully, this isn’t the last of the I-miss-Ted issues of Booster Gold, because I don’t think I’d be able to handle it. I don’t know if I ever told you guys this but Ted Kord…he’s my everything. He and Booster were the stars of the first comic I ever read (Justice League America #34, Club JLI). Without them, I wouldn’t be writing this blog today. I refuse to believe Ted is gone forever. A good Beetle is never truly down for the count. I miss you, Blue. -cough- Um, this blog will continue after a short crying jag.

Alright, now where were we? Ah, R.E.B.E.L.S.. I like this book for three reasons: First, it’s written by Tony Bedard, whom I would root for in a writer knife fight between anyone except Gail Simone. Secondly, it stars two of the Dox line, and anyone who knows me will know my extreme fondness for Coluans. And last, feuds everywhere! Seriously, L.E.G.I.O.N. vs Green Lantern Corps, Dox vs Starro, Lobo vs Everyone…whee, fighting! Oh, this cheered me up immensely. If you’re not reading this book, you should be.

I, I want to applaud. Gail, you are the light of my life. You take an aspect from the second issue ever and manage to tie it into the last issue of the mini. Also, don’t think I didn’t catch that Paul Simon reference in there, you clever wench. I love you. I think I need to have a bit of a lie-down to recover from the awesome that is this issue. Readers, this is no longer a request. Go out and buy Welcome to Tranquility. You will thank me.

Well, this week’s review is horribly late, but I blame it on the last night of Hanukah. Next week will be on time. Nay, early! Okay, on time. But perhaps with a fancy font..? Anyway, I’m hella tired and wondering how my Gaia sales are going, so I’m gonna get out of your hair. Next week, same place? Fantastic. Peace!

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