Archive for May, 2010

Come on in, the Comics are Fine!

Gonna be switching comic stores in a week, darlings, so the book load may suffer a bit for a while. But that is for later. For now, we’ve got ten books to address, and boy do I hope they don’t suck.

Gotham City Sirens is officially a year old! Twelve issues in, and I’m still as hooked as I was at issue one. The open-ended plot hole from the Blackest Night: Catwoman issue is finally acknowledged! Maggie Kyle has completely flipped her shit, ladies and gentlemen. She’s convinced that there’s a demon is the Catwoman (please hold all porn title jokes), and that she alone can save her. It’ll be sister vs. Sister in a battle for Selina’s very soul!

This month, Kara and Atlee take a little homoerotic trip through Atlee’s home city. The fanboys are gonna freak when they get a look at their spa-wear. A bit of “BFF bonding” later, Atlee takes Kara to meet her parents. Yeah, I really hope I’m not the only one getting the feeling that Atlee is taking Peeg through the standard boyfriend hoops. Skip a bit further into the issue and lo and behold, Vartox is back! To, uh, harass Kara some more, apparently. The issue ends with yet another blast from the past as the Vega 9 girls invest in Starrware and Kara’s employees throw her a party. Fun fact: there is nothing nerdier than sipping champagne from beakers.

Gonna read Green Lantern now. I kinda feel like dropping this title because it’s been kinda dull and- oh. THE RAGE KITTY RETURNS! Okay, I may not be too keen on the emotional spectrum idea, but any Corps that inducts felines made of pure hate is good in my book. The entities of the emotional spectrum have names now, bby the way. I myself am partial to Adara the Hope and Proselyte the Comassionpus. The thing looks like an octopus, guys. I’m gonna be calling it the Compassionpus from now on. And oh my, someone seems to be capturing entities. Looks like we’ve stumbled into our next story arc! Also, it looks like Atrocious has a crush on Mera. This…properly executed, this could end up being hilarious. And finally- wait, Lobo?! What the heck is he doing here? Okay, I’m intrigued. Green Lantern, you’re off the chopping block for now.

Ganthet is awesome. Seriously, read Green Lantern Corps. The guy renounced his Guardian status to become a Green Lantern, the forged his own power ring. Badassery is flowing off of him in waves. In other news, joining the Alpha Lanterns no longer seems to be a choice. God rest ye poor souls of justice.

And Roy too seems to have flipped! I mean, not that I blame him. But, fighting Cheshire with a stapler?! Royboy, you can do better. And then there was bondage! And then…sex. Or not. Bwahaha, cockblocked by grief. Oh. Oh god. Oh, no, baby. Don’t fall off the wagon. Nonono…don’t, god, Roy. What have you done to yourself? What have you done to your friend? I, I don’t think I can read this anymore.

(please note that the above review was written as I read the comic. This is a reaction review at best, and I apologize.)

The art in The Return of Bruce Wayne really sucked this month. At one point, Booster has a horse face. I am not pleased. But the story was pretty good. Pick it up, boys and girls, you won’t be disappointed.

I was really excited for Teen Titans this month. Not the main story, but the second feature. Zachary Zatara is going to be in comics again! I danced with joy. But will the actual story live up to expectations? “Cyborg moves in mysterious ways”. I snorted. I did. Ask anyone. And Gar? Please. Shut the hell up about Raven. We get it, she’s priority-1 for you. Now shut up. Oh, and it looks like Cassie’s pulling the “I’m the leader” card regarding her massive case of PMS. Stress on, stressy. Ooh, now Kon and Lorena are getting all chummy. Man, does everyone on this team have PMS this month? All the chicks seemed to be synched up. Now, before anyone emails me about being sexist, stop. I’m a girl. I get PMS. Ocassionally, my best friend and I synch up for the ultimate in bitchery. And now back to our scheduled programming. Juust in time for the second feature, excellent. Oh, Zat. I know why you’re miserable. You miss Eddie. Just let it out, hon. Ooh, looks like he’s gonna get his wish, too! God, I love this second feature more than I love the actual comic.

Ah, Justice League: Generation Lost. Let’s hope that it won’t be like last wee-

Ted Kord committed suicide.

Rrrgh. NERD RAGE. MAAAAAAAX! I swear, I’m nerdraging so hard right now, I’m surprised that there isn’t a red ring on this finger. ARGH. AND HE BROKE UP GUY AND ICE?!

Get my coat and hat, I’m going hunting.

Oh, wait. He’s leaving Booster alone. So far. And then comes the best damn comic speech I’ve ever read. Oh Booster, I love you so.

OH MY GOD IN HEAVEN ABOVE

TED MAY BE ALIVE

AND MONITORING THE JLI

HOLY BALLS

I’ll be in my bunk, you guys. Until next week, this is ToG, signing out. Peace.

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Oh look, a new series! Wait, -two-? Holy crap.

I’m freaking out, you guys. This is a week of first issues, starting with the series I’ve been looking forward to since the end of Legion of Three Worlds: Legion of Superheroes.

I’ve been following the artist, Yildray Cinar, on his Deviantart page for ages now, devouring every scrap of Legion art he posted, and it’s just made me even more excited for the series to start. And it’s being written by former DC prez and all-around awesome guy Paul Levitz. A team like this can do no wrong. So my thoughts on the first issue? Brainiac 5’s freakout nine pages in was worth the wait. Seriously. I know I sound kind of biased, but this guy is what makes the issue for me. He refrences the Lord of the Rings, for god’s sake! I love him, I love him! And Garth and Imra’s kids are finally back in continuity, so yay! The issue ends with tragedy and shock, but I wouldn’t change it for the world. Long live the Legion!

I hate Brightest Day. I hate it. Three issues in, and I’m tired of it. And it’ll be going on well into next year. Pray for me, you guys, for I have to keep reading it and reviewing it.

In an opposite opinion, I love the new Zatanna series. From the looks of it, she’s going to be a detective. Eee! And a character from the Vertigo oneshot that was put out a few years back was in it! Double eeee! Yeah, I’ll be following this series from now on. Way to go, Paul Dini, you’ve done it again.

Yeah, it was a pretty short week this time around, but I’ll make up for it next time. Until then, don’t forget to spay and neuter your children. ToG out!

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-deep breath- AIEEEEEEEEEEEEE

A day late, but still worth the wait (I hope)!

Aside from the gratuitous amount of Brainiac 5, I could follow nothing in Adventure Comics. Again. Sigh, why do I bother? Oh right, the awesome Legion group shot with XS in it. I’m looking forward to the new Legion ongoing more than I have any right to.

R.E.B.E.L.S. starts out the issue with Starfire being a bitch. This is going to be a common trend, I think. But good god, am I loving Adam Strange in this issue. I, I don’t think I’ve ever said that before. And Salaak…”Start a turf war with the Corps, Son of Brainiac, and you will lose.” LOVE HIM! But I’m not really loving what is probably going to be the new series OTP, Starfire and Captain Comet. Way to go, Kory. You put that L.E.G.I.O.N. logo on your crotch. -facepalm-

The Return of Bruce Wayne is EPIC. I don’t want to say any more than that, because if I do, I won’t shut up until I’ve described the entire issue. Go buy it, if only to see Cave-Robin.

Calculator’s flipped his shit. This is the main theme of Batgirl this month. Also, it would seem that Steph has a crush on the guy that Babs was set up on a date with. Oh, love triangles. The issue hits a creepier turn when everyone who has ever seen Babs, with the exception of Steph, turns into a Calculator-controlled technodrone. And then they…barf nanites on her, turning her into a statue. What?

EEEEEEE JUSTICE LEAGUE GENERATION LOST!!! I’m so happy. And so sad. And feeling pretty hungry. But, AUGH this first issue is so awesome! If I can only say one thing about this issue before I dissolve into a puddle of goo, it’s this: Max, you’re not gay for Booster. Stop it.

So, the Emerald Empress is trying to rape Booster Gold, who is cracking jokes in hope that she’ll stop. Welcome back, Giffen and DeMatteis. I’ve missed you. In other news, the word ‘kerfuffle’ is back in vogue. I can’t wait to see more of it.

Gail Simone is writing the Birds with a vengence. If people weren’t aware of my metaphorical boner for her before, they’re gonna know now. The ending of the issue gave me goose bumps. I’m just, I, I think I need a cigarette. I don’t even smoke, but god help me, I think I need one.

The second issue of the new Flash series was, I don’t know. It was alright, I suppose. It could have been better. We got to see how the Renegades worked, and Barry’s speed-learning was touched on, but aside from that, meh. The Digger subplot was a bit ominous. I mean, the guy comes back to life only to be immediately sent to Iron Heights, and now his so-called friends won’t bust him out. Digger is going to really have to work for it if he wants to be a Rogue again, and I do like that.

The artist on the Titans: Villains for Hire special was on drugs when he was drawing. He must have been. There is no other option I can name as to why there are so many inaccuracies. Slade’s eyepatch on the wrong eye. Cheshire’s grief-fuelled boob job. Ryan Choi didn’t even look Asian, for god’s sake! I’m just going to stop now, because this entire special had me wanting to throw the book across the room.

But as far as things go, I’m probably going to be spastic for the rest of the day. This was a great week for comics. Birds of Prey is back, the JLI is together again, a new Flash issue, and the best writing team around is working on Booster Gold. I’m a happy, happy fan, folks. I hope all of you are too. Touch of Grey out!

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Brightest Da- oh who cares

I’ve got dinner waiting on me, so this will have to be quick.

This month in JSA: All-Stars, Anna Fortune fucks up, Johnny Sorrow is a total creep, and King Chimera is probably the baddest of asses.
But I digress.

The actual issue takes place before Blackest Night, so Damage is still around to fight another battle. All the subtle references to his death were heartbreaking to read, if you picked up on them. As it turns out, Johnny Sorrow has been after Courtney all this time because only a kiss filled with love from her would turn him into a human again. So he disguised himself as Al. WHAT. Yeah, so the last two issues have all been about screwing with the shippers. Well played Sturges, you glorious bastard. End result has both Johnny Sorrow and the King of Tears (and wouldn’t that be a great name for a rock band?) defeated, Atom Smasher is back on the team, there’s a little bit of teamly bonding and- wait, what’s this? Is Al trying to hit on Anna, a chick who is probably the same age as Courtney? Talk about repeat offenses, oy.

The second feature was actually pretty entertaining this month, equal parts humor and adventure. I especially loved the interaction between Icicle and Hourman at the end. Booze heals all wounds, it seems.

Batman and Robin is ridiculously awesome this time around. And that’s before Dick slugs Deathstroke the freaking Terminator. The issue starts out with Robin attacking Batman, his body under the control of Slade. Dick discovers that hurting Damian hurts Slade as well, so he hit him with a taser. Repeatedly. Cut to the dynamic duo paying a courtesy visit to Mummy Fearest and her League of Assassins. Who is apparently in the cloning business, when she reveals that she has made another tiny fetus copy of Damian to smother with her insanity. Oh, that’s not going to come back and bite her in the ass at all. Long story short, Damian is officially the Al Ghul black sheep and banned from all family reunions forever. Back in Gotham, Black Glove seems to be back in town, and Dick, Alfred, and Damian discover the first official proof of Bruce’s whereabouts. And then, in the twist I honestly did not see coming, the identity of Mr. Sexton is revealed. I’m not saying anything, but I’m pretty sure I shat a brick when I turned to the last page and saw…well, go get the issue yourself to find out.

Red Robin was a mixture of suck and win this month, and it kinda got to me. The guest characters protecting the targeted characters was pretty cool, and seeing Kid Flash and Superboy drawn in Marcus To’s style was a nice surprise. Having Tim pretty much officially become Bruce was not. I mean, he’s now the CEO of Wayne Enterprises and Ra’s Al Ghul called him ‘Detective’, his nickname for Bruce. This fan is not pleased. Then again, I did enjoy watching Tim get kicked through a window only to land in Dick’s arms. That, and the little moment the entire Batfamily has together in the Cave kinda balances out the nerdrage I’m feeling reading this issue. Then again, Ra’s pretty much told everyone who reads this comic that he’s going to send Talia to rape Tim, which is squick personified and so the nerd rage continues. Hooray for Vicki Vale bringing some levity to this otherwise dark comic with the splash page featuring Tim’s “engagement” to Tam Fox. And boy is Steph piiissed…

Secret Six was a bit of a snooze for me this time around. Lots of scenes of Catman tracking people and snatches of his life as a child. Snoooore. Black Alice really made this issue for me. I do hope she’s a permanent fixture on the team. From stealing the powers of Dr. Occult to find Thomas, to getting into a fight with Scandal over nothing (“An’, an’ I know you want Peter! You want my boyfriend!” “Wait, she does? Wait, boyfriend?!”) while stealing the powers of Etrigan and molding them to her own use as the demon Estrogan. I love you, Lori. Never, ever stop being a brat.

Brightest Day officially starts this week, and I am conflicted. I’m gonna read it because I want to stay on top of things, but I’m still going to be bitching about the people the white light revived. Y’know what? Screw it. Brightest Day had a really weak start, so I’m not going to bother to review it. This is Touch of Grey signing off for this week.

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