Archive for September, 2010

Better late than not at all!

My comic shop was shorted all the issues of Gotham City Sirens, thank you, Diamond, so this week is going to be tiny. Oh, wait. What’s that, Marvel? You say you started a new Namor series last month, and the second issue is out today? Well, I guess that settles it. Instead of one serving of GCS, y’all are getting a double scoop of Namor-y goodness!

Let’s get things rolling with the third, sigh, scintilating issue of Time Masters: Vanishing Point. Time Masters, why do I still read you? You’re not entertaining, you don’t tie into The Return of Bruce Wayne in any way except to mention that he’s in the past, and Booster doesn’t have any really good lines. In fact, the only decent parts of you involve tiny!Rip and Poppa Booster. Still, three down, three to go. Let’s just keep chugging along.

Action Comics is really good lately, for some reason. I mean, we’ve gotten to see sexy!Lex, smart!Lex, twisted!Lex, dead!Lex…wait, what was that last one? And who’s that girl? Can it be? Is it she? Unholy crapballs, it’s Death! I know it’s terrible to say that I love death but…I love Death. She’s cute, she’s smart, she’s quirky…and she’s Death. A timeless Gaiman character, soon to be hitting the big screen. Action Comics, I am not disappoint. So, does that mean Lex is dead? Or is he going to pull a Hob Gadling-esque deal with Death? Is he gonna hit on Death? Outsmart her? Oh, I’m a-tingle with the possibilities. And the second-feature is actually interesting! Mainly because it features Jimmy Olsen, who is so uncool, he’s awesome, and a badly-drawn version of Smallville’s Chloe Sullivan. The second-feature storyline is going to be about an exciting week in Jimmy’s life. Hmmmm, I think I can hop aboard this story and ride it home.

Teen Titans is famous for their death-as-a-plot-device issues, and it makes me happy to see that they’ve deviated from that path. Kinda. With the end of the ‘Eclipsed’ storyline, we’re down four Titans: Miss Martian is in a coma, Static is depowered, and Bombshell and Aquagirl are lost at sea. Yeah, Aquagirl is lost at sea. Plot device? Maybe. Oh, and we get to see Cassie and Kon post-coitus. Eeew. Uh, no offense. The second feature was basically like watching a teen drama with magic and demons: betrayal, secrets, and the Big Bad is never really down for the count.

What two things would you never expect to see together? Ice cream and soy sauce? Maybe. A straight guy at a Twilight movie of his own free will? Yeah, that’s pretty unlikely. Namor and vampires?

Did I read that right? Namor? Pointy-eared, pale-skinned, speedo-wearing king of the seas and…those fangy bitey folks? Apparently, this new series spins directly out of a pre-existing Xmen plot (Namor’s on the Xmen, now? I thought he liked to stick close to the Fantastic Four?), and Namor’s mission is to find the severed head of Count Dracula which was thrown into the ocean by the, dear lord, sea vampires…who have a vampire squid. No, I’m not making this shit up. Anyway, the first two issues seem pretty sound. We get to see Namor being all kingly, which is nice, and the art is just amazing. I can give this thing another look or two, see how it turns out.

That’ll be all for this week. Sorry that it’s technically going up on Thursday, I had a few personal problems that I had to sort through. See you here next week?

Oh, and a just a reminder to the citizens of Broward County: West Regional Library is having its Manga and Comic Convention on October 9th from one to four, and The ToG Blog has a table! Well, I have a vendor table…but yay, free advertising! Don’t miss it!


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It’s that time again, kiddies!

Epic week, you guys! And not all DC, either. Mostly DC, but not all, so that’s a nice changeup. Ready? Let’s go!

James Robinson, you magnificent bastard. Back in my youth, you were one of my idols. Starman was one of those books that I could show to my mom and go, “Look! It’s not all just beat-’em-up flashy spandex stuff!” You had style and substance. Then, in an act of the ultimate betrayal, you wrote a little series called Cry for Justice. Good lord, did that suck donkey balls. I had to read my Starman books twice to get the taste of that stinker out of my mouth. I swore I’d never read anything of yours again. And now, you’re writing Justice League. With Mikaal Tomas and Jesse Quick.

Well played, Robinson. Well played.

Wow. Really? Really, Legion? Okay, long story short, the basic theme of Legion of Superheroes for the past couple of months is this: Fuck you and the horse you rode in on, Green Lantern Corps, we don’t want any. Earth-Man has made a surprising heel-face-turn, and is apparently banging Tasmia. And Brainy continues to be adorkable, not to mention incredibly well drawn. You go, B5.

So, remember last week when I cursed Deadpool for being so amusing? I’m back on that vein of thinking. Deadpool Team-Up is one of those books, akin to Brave and the Bold on crack, that just amuses the crap out of me whenever I pick it up. It’s a done-in-one book, so I don’t have to follow it regularly, but it’s Deadpool. Why wouldn’t I want to pick it up regularly? Anyway, this issue features many jokes, fancy rope tricks, and two heads in a jar. Enjoy.

Winick, Winick, Winick. I swear to god, man. You’ve decimated one of the only little things I take pleasure in. I love reading about Power Girl. I love her to death. She’s a woman that plays hardball like the men, and gets a whole lot of shit for doing it. She’s one of my heroes, if only because she’s bold enough to wear a leotard with a giant hole in the front and got along really well with Ted Kord. This wasn’t a good issue. Secret identities are compromised, a loose end is taken care of…this all smells like evil!Max to me. But I guess I’ll find that out later.

Oh man, I do love Supergirl this month. I know I’ve made my opinion of Bizarro pretty clear, but this arc may just be turning my hate for him and his awful way of speaking around. Mainly because Bizarrogirl is just so…she’s adorable! She’s like all the good things in Silver Age Supergirl turned into a Bizarro! I can’t help but love her, you guys. And guess what? The next issue is going to feature the Man of Steel himself! Wowzers!

And just when I thought Green Lantern Corps couldn’t get any better! See, I have this theory about Tony Bedard. I think he was born on another planet, and that’s why he’s so awesome at writing space comics. Anyway, the Alpha Lantern arc has finally concluded and holy crap, did I not see that ending coming. Pick up the book. This is no longer a request. Even if you absolutely loathe everything about the Green Lantern franchise, pick up this book. You won’t regret it.

In Generation Lost this time around, we get to see exactly how far Max’s mind-whammy extends itself. You can’t see him. You can’t think about him. You can’t form a plan of attack to stop him. Your mind just won’t let you. And that line of thinking right there? I just got the most wicked case of goosebumps. How do you fight something you can’t even imagine? Brr. Next book, please!

How many months has it been between the first issue of Velocity and the second? Three? Four? No matter, the second issue is here now, and good god. The writing is superb and that art…I want Kenneth Rocafort drawing speed lines and small action panels for the rest of his life. Ever wonder what happens when you plug a genius’ brain into a speedster’s body? I think they explored that in an episode of JLU, but Interface and Velocity make it work just as well. Great issue, I’m giving it a 4 of 5, with a point taken off for being so damned late.

Speaking of late books and speedsters, new Flash issue! Can someone please tell me how a series about the fastest man alive is so damned so to come out? Ahh, it’s worth it, though. The art is fantastic, as always, and the dialogue is only corny on occasion. And we get to see Digger’s White Lantern vision, which is pretty awesome. An overall nice issue.

Well, that’s all for this week. But before I go, funny story. I think the universe is trying to tell me something about Namor. Yesterday, I found the Namor action figure I thought I’d lost in a box I was planning on just tossing out. Today, I saw several different posters with Namor on them. The universe wants me to keep an eye out for Marvel books with Namor in them, you guys, and I think I’m gonna listen. Peace out!

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I rode 20 miles in the blazing sun with a heavy backpack to bring this post to you all

Only four books this week, guys. Man, I feel down. This may just be the shortest review I’ve ever done.

We’re gonna start this post off by checking in on the journey of the fail train. That’s right, folks! It’s another issue of Brightest Day, the book that changes everything as we know it, one week at a time. This week? The Firestorm matrix is the big bang.

Goodnight, everybody! See you next week! I’m done.

Sorry, I had to clear my head. I had a moment. Anyway, this week we’re focusing on the new Aqualad who is, as everyone has guessed and it was explicitly said, Black Manta’s son. The cover is an epic misdirection on DC’s part, as Deadman wasn’t even in this issue. It’s about as misleading as, oh I don’t know, putting Hal Jordan and Barry Allen on the cover of a comic about Wally West and Kyle Rayner.

Yeah, I’m still bitter about that. Moving on. See you in two weeks, fail train.

The last-page reveal of the big bad of Green Lantern: Emerald Warriors finally has a name! Zardor of Kralok. Practically oozes evil and malice, doesn’t it? Man, I’m so looking forward to this series in a way that I haven’t looked forward to a series in quite awhile. Here’s to hoping we finally get some more info on Bleez, bone-winged ragehead of the Red Lantern Corps. Also, and maybe I’m just riding the stupidmobile, but since when did Arisa have a thing for Sodam Yat? I’m looking through backissues and they just seemed like friends. But now it’s like she’s crushing on him? What? Okay, DC, if you say so…

Oh, what’s this? A Marvel title? Looks like I lied, folks! Five books this week, with the addition of a Deadpool book. Augh, damn you, Deadpool. I try to get out, you just suck me right back in with your Deadpooly goodness. And look, he’s got Steve Rogers with him in this issue! Damn you, Marvel! Playing on my love of men in spandex like that! It was an overall good issue. Good art, good little storyline; Deadpool wants to buy a burrito, ends up fighting a terrorist and a bunch of government operatives, also Steve Rogers. See, this is what I mean. This is a good premise, and your average Deadpool comic ends up looking like a Simpsons episode with exploding heads and dismemberment. I like this very much, and not just because, well, it’s Deadpool. The Merc with the Mouth. Bringer of the awesome. I think that if I keep along these lines, someone out there is going to end up figuring out that I don’t hate Marvel as much as I pretend to. Because, and may I someday be forgiven by the lords of the internet, I just can’t hate Deadpool.

Hi, Gail? Yeah, it’s me again, ToG. Um, no, this isn’t about Secret Six, this is about the latest issue of Birds of Prey. I just read it and, well…are Savant and Creote ‘together’ now? Because that very, very long hug in the rain made my heart wibble a bit. Oh, and I saw the not-so-subtle nod to Ted Kord, very nice. The creepy obsession Penguin has for Dove is a nice touch, too. But about that main question, about Savant and Creote..? Should I start assembling a taskforce of slashfic writers now or in a few weeks? Hope you can get back to me soon.

I hope Paul Dini stays on the Zatanna book forever. I mean it. I hope the book runs for the rest of his lifetime, and that he’s the permanent writer. Because I don’t think I could ever get tired of these storylines. Casino owner who sold his soul to the devil, Zee and Zach being all cousinly, terrible nicknames…I love this series. Five issues in, and I already know how much I love this series. Bless you, Paul Dini.

Well, that was this week in comics for me. I’ve got some room redecoration to get to now, see you next week? Wonderful. This is ToG saying, peace out groovebots!

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Lordy lordy…I can’t finish that thought and have it be worksafe

Wow, big week we’ve got here. Nine titles, ready and rearing! And for some reason, we’re quite Bat-heavy. Oh well, let’s get on with it.

Adventure Comics: where I go when I want to be confused as hell. Seriously, I know that these stories are supposed to be in the style of the early days of the Legion, but this is just weird. Ghosts haunting the Superman Museum and the Legion clubhouse? Nura Nal…just passing out for some reason? Saturn Girl hunting down a criminal for some personal reason that’s never revealed? Okay, AC, you win. I’m officially confuzzled.

Welcome to Tranquility: Oh shit. I mean…OH SHIT. Seriously, Gail, I…oh shit. I love you, Gail, but I’m not too sure if I ever want to traipse through your mind, even on the sunniest of days. You’re a little bit disturbed, lady. Just a little, though.

Batman: “I revel in excrement!” I love Damian a little more every time I read something with him in it. I never expected to love this kid, mainly because his entire life’s goal seems to be making everyone want to kill him, but I do. This is the first time I’ve picked up an issue of the main Batman title in years, and I only actually picked it up because it apparently ties in to something I’m going to be reviewing later in the year, but I liked it. Um, but you didn’t hear that from me.

Batman and Robin: Translation, please? I love Grant Morrison. In an almost obsessive way. But I’d be a liar if I said I understood, let alone enjoyed, this issue. I have a problem with art when it looks more like an oil painting than a comic book. Shadows on bodies, blurred lines…it drives me nuts. Though the sequence in which Joker infects Damian with his toxin was just frigging gorgeous, the oddity of the art style really suited them there. Professor Pyg is as disturbing as usual, well done Grant. I don’t know what kind of hallucinogens this guy puts in his coffee every morning, but the world will be a worse place to live in if he ever stops.

Batgirl: Girly adventures of girliness! Supergirl gueststars in this one-shot issue of Batgirl, and boy was I worried. As I’ve said before, Kara is the DCU’s new emo kid. Tim Drake has been released from emo servitude, mainly because the universe decided to shit on Supergirl for awhile. I had my doubts that she’d bring anything good to the table for this issue, but it was actually pretty entertaining. The plot is essentially Batgirl and Supergirl against 24 hard light projections of a really emo version of Dracula, and the only way to defeat them is to stab them with stakes. Oh yes, I am so on board for these shenanigans.

Red Robin: Holy crap, it’s The General! Not gonna lie, I loved Ulysses Armstrong in the old Robin series. Whenever he was in an issue, I knew it was going to be good. I had completely forgotten about him taking on the Anarky identity, somehow, but holy shit. The boy is in his element! Oh yeah, and there was some stuff about Tim and Tam, Tim was threatening Captain Boomerang, blah blah blah…sorry, but this issue was all about Ulysses for me. The boy just has a style that can’t be beat. Welcome back into the spotlight, General.

Green Lantern: If Larfleeze in Las Vegas is wrong then god damnit, I don’t want to be right. Seriously, as much hate as I project in the general direction of Geoff Johns these days, you just can’t go wrong with a Rainbow Lantern issue. The cover is misleading as hell, though. At no point in this issue did Saint Walker, Sinestro, Atrocious, or Indigo-1 show up, and Carol Ferris was not in bondage. But still, Larfleeze in Las Vegas, soon followed by Larfleeze on Zamaron declaring that he wants to be queen. Also, wibbly Larfleeze. I am so ridiculously in love with this character. I may be a total Blue, but the keeper of the Orange Lantern has totally stolen my fangirly heart away. And also my entire sock drawer, the bastard.

Booster Gold: Ted Kord, Sex God is now canon. Thank you, lord! Not Max. Er…JOKE ABORTED. So, this was quite the issue for people well-versed in the comics of the late 80s. Vril Dox pre-L.E.G.I.O.N., the Darkstars, Ted and Booster having a “lover’s quarrel” (quoth Vril Dox). I’m a happy, happy girl reading this. Oh, did I mention that Ted’s a chipmunk now? Or that Booster references his own rear? Something tells me that Keith Giffen has been visiting the Boostle thread on /coq/…

Generation Lost: Max, you’re the biggest douche ever. I mean it. This guy uses vinegar as cologne. “Daddy’s working.” Hnghrgle. Um, hahaha. Damnit, stupid sexy Max Lord. Seriously, what is it about this guy that has the fangirls (and a few fanboys as well) biting their knuckles and praying for a less-sexy action sequence? He’s the bad guy. The worst guy. He killed Ted Kord. He controlled Superman. Recently, he bankrupted Power Girl, broke up Guy and Ice, made Fire attack the new Rocket Red, fried Skeets, and pulled a gun on Booster, and yet he’s still hot somehow. Is it the tight t-shirt? The (probably leather) gun holsters? That new evil smirk of confidence and badassery? The fact that underneath the suits, he’s been hiding the sculpted, muscular body of a god? Oh my. I think I need a cold shower. Damn you, Judd Winick. You may have made Ice a whiny little bitch, but you’ve also brought about a reality in which we have the hotness that is Gavril calling our littlest JLI member “Little Skeets”, and written some damned provocative lines for Max. “Daddy’s working.”

…I’ll be in my bunk…

Well, that was this week’s comics, boys and girls and other! I need a shower and maybe an exorcism. Peace.

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Late, but not forgotten

Hey, it’s apparently Rosh Hashanah! I, being a terrible, awful Jew, forgot all about it. Whoops! But I’ve had my big, filling dinner, I’m very tired, and I’m here to bring you some neat stuff that I’ve been dying to buy since I first saw it. Let’s begin so I can go to sleep.

First up, a pair of Flash briefs from Kohls! You ever see a costume and wonder, what on earth could this guy be wearing beneath that fancy suit?! I mean, it’s so tight, you can practically tell what religion he is. Well, as far as the Flash is concerned, wonder no more! $10, from

Next, some neat patches from the Fanboy Scouts Geek Merit Badges! My personal favorite was the Speedster patch, I should be buying one in October. There are only 1000 pieces of each design, so buy the ones you want before they’re gone!

The third and final thing before I pass out is something that I hope to buy very, very soon. I’ve been waiting for years for an actual Flash chain wallet to hit the market, and one finally came! It’s a bright, lovely red with the Flash symbol on it, and a nice chain. I want one more than I could possibly tell.

Well, those were some of the neat purchaseables I found on the internet! I’m tired as heck, goodnight!

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Oh the horror! Oh the shame!

There will be no comics review tomorrow, Wednesday September 8th.

It’s gonna be on Thursday instead =D

I’m not slacking! The comics distribution industry, in its divine wisdom, delays shipment by one day every time there is a national holiday on Monday.  Annoying? You bet your ass it is.

So instead of your usual comics review tomorrow, tune in for the first-ever installment of, “Awesome DC Merch I Found While Bored”. Most of it is Flash-related, because that happens to be my preference.

If any of y’all want to show you care, buy it for me (Note: I’m kidding).

So to recap, no new comics tomorrow, review on Thursday, I like pizza. Peace.

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I think I had a mild stroke hearing this news

There are talks to turn the critically acclaimed comic series Sandman into a TV series.

I’ve got mixed feelings on this.

I love this series. Like, it’s trying to take out a restraining order, I love it so much. I love the storylines, the places explored, the themes, I even love all the minor characters, like Nuala the elf and Wanda the transvestite. That one issue involving Emperor Norton was probably my favorite,  just because it was based on real people and mostly real events.

And then there’s her.

First introduced in ‘The Sound of Her Wings’, Death became as iconic a character as Dream. I’m not ashamed to admit that I wear an ankh that I got in the eighth grade to this day because of Death. Neil Gaiman’s Death was always so much more believable than other depictions of Death. I mean, I know that when most people think Death, they imagine a skeleton in a cloak with a scythe. But Death isn’t supposed to be scary. Yeah, it’s the End of All Things, but in its own way, it is also a beginning, if you believe in that sort of thing.

But back on track.

Sandman has a lot of things in it that would have to be changed for TV, depending on what station gets ahold of it. If HBO snaps it up, we might be cool. If ABC latches onto it, we’re fucked.

Right off the bat, there’s the issue of  Dream being held in a glass bottle cage for nearly a century. Naked. So they put a toga on him, big whoop. Then there’s how he ends up punishing the son of the man that captured him, eternal waking, aka endless nightmares that seem real. Well, that may have to be toned down. Such as, we may only get to see the shadow of the nurse’s head falling off. Oh, and then there’s the second big event of the first book, Dream’s descent into hell to retrieve his helm. That would probably be mostly CGI but, it’s hell. It’s still gonna be hell if you call it something like the underworld, the realm of the dead…it’s hell. And most major networks like to shy away from stuff like that.

And then there’s John Dee’s big diner story, 24 hours.

John Dee, aka Dr. Destiny, escapes from Arkham Asylum and goes to find his symbol of power, a ruby of dreams that, well, is actually the Ruby of Dream. While waiting for Dream to come fight him for possession of the ruby, John slowly drives the world to madness from a diner, and personally murders the diner’s occupants. Let me make a short list of some of the people that he kills, and why most of their stories will never make it to the small screen. Judy is a lesbian whose girlfriend broke up with her after she abused her.  There is a husband and wife; the husband occassionally buys and beats up hookers, the wife had a necrophilliac experience in college and sometimes tries to pretend her husband is dead when they have sex. There’s a trucker, who pretty much killed his alcoholic wife by buying a large quantity of booze and disappearing for a week. See why these people may prove an issue for standard television audiences? And this is just the first book!

Sandman was a ten (technically eleven, if you count Endless Nights) book series that made even the least comic-inclined of people take notice. It has a huge fan following, and has made Neil Gaiman a household name…at least to the people I know. If made, the TV series would run five seasons. That’s two books a season, a decent goal.

I’m not going to doom this thing just yet. Not much is known about it, and no one has been cast in any prominent roles. This is a wait-and-see project to me. I’m ToG, and I think I need to see what other people are saying about this. Peace.

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