Lordy lordy…I can’t finish that thought and have it be worksafe

Wow, big week we’ve got here. Nine titles, ready and rearing! And for some reason, we’re quite Bat-heavy. Oh well, let’s get on with it.

Adventure Comics: where I go when I want to be confused as hell. Seriously, I know that these stories are supposed to be in the style of the early days of the Legion, but this is just weird. Ghosts haunting the Superman Museum and the Legion clubhouse? Nura Nal…just passing out for some reason? Saturn Girl hunting down a criminal for some personal reason that’s never revealed? Okay, AC, you win. I’m officially confuzzled.

Welcome to Tranquility: Oh shit. I mean…OH SHIT. Seriously, Gail, I…oh shit. I love you, Gail, but I’m not too sure if I ever want to traipse through your mind, even on the sunniest of days. You’re a little bit disturbed, lady. Just a little, though.

Batman: “I revel in excrement!” I love Damian a little more every time I read something with him in it. I never expected to love this kid, mainly because his entire life’s goal seems to be making everyone want to kill him, but I do. This is the first time I’ve picked up an issue of the main Batman title in years, and I only actually picked it up because it apparently ties in to something I’m going to be reviewing later in the year, but I liked it. Um, but you didn’t hear that from me.

Batman and Robin: Translation, please? I love Grant Morrison. In an almost obsessive way. But I’d be a liar if I said I understood, let alone enjoyed, this issue. I have a problem with art when it looks more like an oil painting than a comic book. Shadows on bodies, blurred lines…it drives me nuts. Though the sequence in which Joker infects Damian with his toxin was just frigging gorgeous, the oddity of the art style really suited them there. Professor Pyg is as disturbing as usual, well done Grant. I don’t know what kind of hallucinogens this guy puts in his coffee every morning, but the world will be a worse place to live in if he ever stops.

Batgirl: Girly adventures of girliness! Supergirl gueststars in this one-shot issue of Batgirl, and boy was I worried. As I’ve said before, Kara is the DCU’s new emo kid. Tim Drake has been released from emo servitude, mainly because the universe decided to shit on Supergirl for awhile. I had my doubts that she’d bring anything good to the table for this issue, but it was actually pretty entertaining. The plot is essentially Batgirl and Supergirl against 24 hard light projections of a really emo version of Dracula, and the only way to defeat them is to stab them with stakes. Oh yes, I am so on board for these shenanigans.

Red Robin: Holy crap, it’s The General! Not gonna lie, I loved Ulysses Armstrong in the old Robin series. Whenever he was in an issue, I knew it was going to be good. I had completely forgotten about him taking on the Anarky identity, somehow, but holy shit. The boy is in his element! Oh yeah, and there was some stuff about Tim and Tam, Tim was threatening Captain Boomerang, blah blah blah…sorry, but this issue was all about Ulysses for me. The boy just has a style that can’t be beat. Welcome back into the spotlight, General.

Green Lantern: If Larfleeze in Las Vegas is wrong then god damnit, I don’t want to be right. Seriously, as much hate as I project in the general direction of Geoff Johns these days, you just can’t go wrong with a Rainbow Lantern issue. The cover is misleading as hell, though. At no point in this issue did Saint Walker, Sinestro, Atrocious, or Indigo-1 show up, and Carol Ferris was not in bondage. But still, Larfleeze in Las Vegas, soon followed by Larfleeze on Zamaron declaring that he wants to be queen. Also, wibbly Larfleeze. I am so ridiculously in love with this character. I may be a total Blue, but the keeper of the Orange Lantern has totally stolen my fangirly heart away. And also my entire sock drawer, the bastard.

Booster Gold: Ted Kord, Sex God is now canon. Thank you, lord! Not Max. Er…JOKE ABORTED. So, this was quite the issue for people well-versed in the comics of the late 80s. Vril Dox pre-L.E.G.I.O.N., the Darkstars, Ted and Booster having a “lover’s quarrel” (quoth Vril Dox). I’m a happy, happy girl reading this. Oh, did I mention that Ted’s a chipmunk now? Or that Booster references his own rear? Something tells me that Keith Giffen has been visiting the Boostle thread on /coq/…

Generation Lost: Max, you’re the biggest douche ever. I mean it. This guy uses vinegar as cologne. “Daddy’s working.” Hnghrgle. Um, hahaha. Damnit, stupid sexy Max Lord. Seriously, what is it about this guy that has the fangirls (and a few fanboys as well) biting their knuckles and praying for a less-sexy action sequence? He’s the bad guy. The worst guy. He killed Ted Kord. He controlled Superman. Recently, he bankrupted Power Girl, broke up Guy and Ice, made Fire attack the new Rocket Red, fried Skeets, and pulled a gun on Booster, and yet he’s still hot somehow. Is it the tight t-shirt? The (probably leather) gun holsters? That new evil smirk of confidence and badassery? The fact that underneath the suits, he’s been hiding the sculpted, muscular body of a god? Oh my. I think I need a cold shower. Damn you, Judd Winick. You may have made Ice a whiny little bitch, but you’ve also brought about a reality in which we have the hotness that is Gavril calling our littlest JLI member “Little Skeets”, and written some damned provocative lines for Max. “Daddy’s working.”

…I’ll be in my bunk…

Well, that was this week’s comics, boys and girls and other! I need a shower and maybe an exorcism. Peace.

1 Response so far »

  1. 1

    Posky said,

    Best luck with the exorcism.

    Good post also.

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