It’s that time again, kiddies!

Epic week, you guys! And not all DC, either. Mostly DC, but not all, so that’s a nice changeup. Ready? Let’s go!

James Robinson, you magnificent bastard. Back in my youth, you were one of my idols. Starman was one of those books that I could show to my mom and go, “Look! It’s not all just beat-’em-up flashy spandex stuff!” You had style and substance. Then, in an act of the ultimate betrayal, you wrote a little series called Cry for Justice. Good lord, did that suck donkey balls. I had to read my Starman books twice to get the taste of that stinker out of my mouth. I swore I’d never read anything of yours again. And now, you’re writing Justice League. With Mikaal Tomas and Jesse Quick.

Well played, Robinson. Well played.

Wow. Really? Really, Legion? Okay, long story short, the basic theme of Legion of Superheroes for the past couple of months is this: Fuck you and the horse you rode in on, Green Lantern Corps, we don’t want any. Earth-Man has made a surprising heel-face-turn, and is apparently banging Tasmia. And Brainy continues to be adorkable, not to mention incredibly well drawn. You go, B5.

So, remember last week when I cursed Deadpool for being so amusing? I’m back on that vein of thinking. Deadpool Team-Up is one of those books, akin to Brave and the Bold on crack, that just amuses the crap out of me whenever I pick it up. It’s a done-in-one book, so I don’t have to follow it regularly, but it’s Deadpool. Why wouldn’t I want to pick it up regularly? Anyway, this issue features many jokes, fancy rope tricks, and two heads in a jar. Enjoy.

Winick, Winick, Winick. I swear to god, man. You’ve decimated one of the only little things I take pleasure in. I love reading about Power Girl. I love her to death. She’s a woman that plays hardball like the men, and gets a whole lot of shit for doing it. She’s one of my heroes, if only because she’s bold enough to wear a leotard with a giant hole in the front and got along really well with Ted Kord. This wasn’t a good issue. Secret identities are compromised, a loose end is taken care of…this all smells like evil!Max to me. But I guess I’ll find that out later.

Oh man, I do love Supergirl this month. I know I’ve made my opinion of Bizarro pretty clear, but this arc may just be turning my hate for him and his awful way of speaking around. Mainly because Bizarrogirl is just so…she’s adorable! She’s like all the good things in Silver Age Supergirl turned into a Bizarro! I can’t help but love her, you guys. And guess what? The next issue is going to feature the Man of Steel himself! Wowzers!

And just when I thought Green Lantern Corps couldn’t get any better! See, I have this theory about Tony Bedard. I think he was born on another planet, and that’s why he’s so awesome at writing space comics. Anyway, the Alpha Lantern arc has finally concluded and holy crap, did I not see that ending coming. Pick up the book. This is no longer a request. Even if you absolutely loathe everything about the Green Lantern franchise, pick up this book. You won’t regret it.

In Generation Lost this time around, we get to see exactly how far Max’s mind-whammy extends itself. You can’t see him. You can’t think about him. You can’t form a plan of attack to stop him. Your mind just won’t let you. And that line of thinking right there? I just got the most wicked case of goosebumps. How do you fight something you can’t even imagine? Brr. Next book, please!

How many months has it been between the first issue of Velocity and the second? Three? Four? No matter, the second issue is here now, and good god. The writing is superb and that art…I want Kenneth Rocafort drawing speed lines and small action panels for the rest of his life. Ever wonder what happens when you plug a genius’ brain into a speedster’s body? I think they explored that in an episode of JLU, but Interface and Velocity make it work just as well. Great issue, I’m giving it a 4 of 5, with a point taken off for being so damned late.

Speaking of late books and speedsters, new Flash issue! Can someone please tell me how a series about the fastest man alive is so damned so to come out? Ahh, it’s worth it, though. The art is fantastic, as always, and the dialogue is only corny on occasion. And we get to see Digger’s White Lantern vision, which is pretty awesome. An overall nice issue.

Well, that’s all for this week. But before I go, funny story. I think the universe is trying to tell me something about Namor. Yesterday, I found the Namor action figure I thought I’d lost in a box I was planning on just tossing out. Today, I saw several different posters with Namor on them. The universe wants me to keep an eye out for Marvel books with Namor in them, you guys, and I think I’m gonna listen. Peace out!

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