I know what girls like…comics! Well, we DO.

Big week this time around. Ten books! And we’re pretty lady-heavy, too. Shall we begin?

Is Batman Jesus? I think so.

Batman is DC’s answer to Wolverine. He can’t die. He rarely sustains any sort of crippling injury. And now, he’s felt the power of the White Ring. I think Bruce Wayne has officially ascended to deity status, and we should just let that be. Oh, and what’s this? Boston Brand and Dove? Okay, Fail Train. Good to see you’ve got your priorities in check. Also, Batman remembers Max! His downfall has begun!

I’m not feeling too into Justice League today. I don’t know what it is, I just see the word ‘Omega’ and my brain gets bored. Like, instantly. It’s weird. Anyway, I scanned it, and HOLY CRAP. Claw, you’re gonna dig this. Evil Kara lives again! But…I still don’t want to read the book to see how it happened.

Legion of Superheroes: whatta book. I haven’t enjoyed a creative team like I do Levitz and Cinar in a while. I mean, Paul Levitz is very, very oldschool. You’d think Yildray Cinar’s art wouldn’t fit in with the stories he writes, but by god, it does. Onto the story. Oh, Kirt. Never stop being a dick. You’re so enjoyable as a dick. Ooh, and what’s this? Yeah, the Green Lantern Corps just isn’t going to leave this guy alone, seriously! Also, who is Professor Li? I personally think she’s Ra’s al Ghul in another body. Also, the expressions Brainy can come up with…PRICELESS.

Batman Incorporated: “Kill all Japanese crimefighters!” Wow. That was…unPC. Just a little. Okay, so. Japan. Tentacle porn. Apparently the two go hand in hand. I’m really seriously super-hoping that Batman Incorporated isn’t going to devolve into stereotypes on parade.

The last thing I’d read with Adam Beechen’s name on it was the Batgirl: Redemption mini a couple of years back, so you’ll have to excuse my nervousness. Zatanna went from the hands of a great writer to…Adam ‘Sonova’ Beechen. And y’know what? Man did his research. It was a cute one-shot that once again shows that parental love is undying. Not bad, Beechen, but don’t mean this gets you a pass for Cass Cain.

Some things are just uncalled for. The sight of Ted Kord holding a gun to his own head, as per Kara’s mangled memory, made me cry. Actually cry. Big ol’ tears. And then, two pages later, BAZAM! The JLI now has one of the most powerful people in the universe on its side. I am so happy. So happy.

Holy crap. Supergirl was super-creepy this month but then again, any storyline that prominently features toys that kill will scare the pants off of me. And now…the Dollmaker. What was that noise? Was that a brick? Oookay, next book, please.

At long, long last, the first arc of the new Flash series comes to an end. Not with a bang, but with a whimper. Was it worth the wait? Honestly? No. It was a drawn-out story with a cliffhanger for the future, no definite ending, and an overall routine plot. The only truly notable thing about these first six issues was that one time when Barry saved that guy from a helicoptor. That was pretty badass. But that was it. Sorry, Geoff. I think you may want to stick to your magic ring stories.

See, this is what I’m talking about! Larfleeze stealing Flash’s wallet, Flash/Parallax OTP, man, you had Barry Allen on the brain while writing Green Lantern this month, huh Geoff? There is something I’d like to point out, though. In Time Masters, Hal is a douche. In basically any other book by any other writer, Hal Jordan is portrayed as cocky, brash, arrogant, and more than a little bit of a jerk. This isn’t fanfic, Geoff. Hal Jordan isn’t as saintly and compassionate as you make him out to be. He has his moments, though. Speaking of moment, check the Hal/Barry bromance thing going on. I mean, god damn, boys.

Ahh, ending the week on a high note. There is nothing quite like watching two people who normally settle their differences with pretty light shows beating the snot out of each other in the middle of Greenwich Village. Also, if I may just say, Soranik Natu is the hottest female member of the Green Lantern Corps, hands down. I’m pretty sure that, should the Weaponer defeat all the people that come at him, he’s not gonna let her go anytime soon.

And that was this week in comics! I’m starving, how about you? I thought so. Peace out, my lovelies! Until next week!

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