Archive for January, 2011

Tiny week, early post. Coincidence?!

Wow, tiny week. Four books, that’s sort of sad. The reason this review is going up so early is because I’m actually writing it in the comic shop (Crossroads, on University for those in the know). Broward County has been hit by some massive thunderstorms in the past couple of days, and one of them knocked out my power. Anyway, enough of my woes. To the books!

“Jazz hands!” Lex and the Joker. Just from saying those two names, you know an issue is going to be good. I don’t really like the Joker, never have, but I like it when he can call people out on their own delusions. Well, that’s interesting. I have no idea where this entire quest is going anymore. Does Lex want to become the master of death? Does he just want to collect rings and energy? Seriously, what? But hey, for our patience, we get a little Larfleeze next month, so that’s okay.

Wow, Kara. I forgot all about that haircut. It…looked spectacularly bad. Uh oh. Peeg thinks she’s fighting Superman? Congratulations, Nate, you’re epically fucked. What I want to know, Max, is how do you get Batman out of Booster? No, really. Clue me in. If I were controlling Power Girl’s mind and I wanted her to see a Justice League gone evil in place of her friends, I think I would have gone the all-alien route. Maybe it’s just me having my sexy-Max blinders on, but is anyone else seeing this torture scene as kinda…prelude-to-rape-y? Of all the powers in the superhero grab bag, I think I would want superhearing the least. Sure, no one would ever be able to sneak up on me, but is the intense pain every time someone plays a Daft Punk CD really worth it? And now Kara is on the team. Good show, Generation Lost, good show.

Evil puppets? Creepy. Not-so-evil puppets? Still creepy. Just because you didn’t kill the guy, what makes you think that you’ve got the right to try killing Zatanna? For the third time, I may add. Ah well, you’re pretty lucky Zee is good people, Hampel. The little second story, about Zee as a teenager, was beyond adorable. Not to mention a poignant love note to the 80s. Oh, Speak and Spell. You know some nerd that still has theirs is going to go home and try that, now.

Okay, I have a theory. If Damian stays with the Titans, he’s going to have a ridiculously hilarious not-crush on Rose. “Girls are gross! Um, especially Rose. Because she’s a girl. And girls are gross.” Their banter is just precious. They should start a ‘damaged kids’ club within the team, for Titans with crazy parents. Inertia cameo?! Well, Inertia outline cameo. Still made my day. Aaaand Kon splits with Cassie. I saw this. I saw this coming like, two issues ago. “Well, maybe this Wilson isn’t so bad.” Damian, just admit that you love Rose with all your psychotic little heart. You know you want to. Cliffhanger! I’m guessing this has something to do with the next issue of Red Robin. Okay, I’m intrigued. Go on.

Well, that was this week. I’m going to spend some time with my man, maybe go to the other comic store in the area (Tate’s Comics, for those in the know), then head home to see if the lights are back on. I hope they are. Just because I carry a flashlight around doesn’t mean I want to have to use it all night. Until next week, peace out!

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Something old, something new, something cleavage’d, and little Blue

Teeny tiny haul this week, friends. Only six books, and one of them is Fail Train. Sigh, okay, let’s get on with it. Go on and give me all you’ve got.

…but, Lorena is supposed to be lost at sea. Just before the new Teen Titans arc started up, Aquagirl and Bombshell disappeared while at sea. They’re lost. At sea. So how the hell is Mera finding Lorena on dry land?! Geoff, you have a boner as wide as the Pacific for continuity, how did you miss this? Back on Zamaron, Hawkgirl commits matricide for love! Please visualize a foofy hand flap to go with that. And Carol basically tells the shippers, “Yeah, me and Hal? Forever in the dance of UST. Just deal with it.” And then there’s sexy time! Or not. White Ring, you are the ultimate cockblocker. Seriously, that was some Shazam level cockblocking you just did. On the scale from annoying kid brother to Shazam, you’ve about passed it. That was cold, Ring. Damn cold.

Okay, I like this Nico guy. I like him a lot. I mean, he’s got a direct line to Batman, not many newbies get that. Oh, and we get a look at how the end of last week’s Generation Lost came to be. Max, I’m really starting to overlook the fact that you’re foxy and hate you again. Must be the Sami Basri art. Also, Cadmus cloned Kryto?! What could the point of that be?

For the record, Bernard Chang? I love you? You draw one hell of a great Supergirl. Aaaand we get to see just how stupid teenage boys are in Metropolis, fantastic. Ooh, and Supergirl ties almost directly into Power Girl. Remember the big cloning experiments? Well, Lois is going to be doing a story about them, aparently. Is this Alex kid a clone of Max? Because that’s the vibe I’m getting. Mind control powers, creating an iPhone app specifically to target and kill superheroes…the splash shot of it in action, by the way, was damn genius. We get to see little Iris running around as Impulse, Static in his old costume, Miss Martian out of her coma somehow…this was a good issue. I’m looking forward to the rest of this arc.

Goddamn, Sinestro. Sinestro is one of those villains that should be used sparingly. Darkseid, over time, lost his edge. He was passed around the DC offices like a bong at a frat party. But even now, especially now, Sinestro makes comic readers quake in their boots. Because when he shows up, you know you’re fucked. And Weaponer, I think you’re pretty fucked. Tyler Kirkham seems to love splash shots, and the one at the end with John and the rest of the Thunderers, holy shit. An overall excellent issue.

I like how the Legion/Adventure series’ interconnect like Legion/Legionnaires did back in the Reboot years. This issue mostly takes place on Durla and- hold on a second! R.J. Brande?! Alive? What is this sorcery?! Oh, right, Durlans. And the true mastermind is possibly Reep’s aunt? Okay, I can dig it.

Apparently, Earth-16 has He-Man. Taking a look around the shot of Wally’s bedroom, I also see a Bat-Mite doll. Oh, and I think the Superboy/Kid Flash/Robin OT3 still stands. Also, I like the little nod to the original Young Justice series with the ‘Forever Sixteen’ store. For those who are new, or simply don’t remember, at one point, Kon El’s DNA was fixed so that he would never grow up, he’d stay sixteen for the rest of his existence. Oh, and here’s another nod to the main DCU! Superboy only picked up a rack of black t-shirts with the Superman symbol. Also, I love how Kon is so totally focused on gaining Superman’s approval. That’s all he wants, his main goal. What a woobie! As much as I love the original Young Justice series, this new one is nothing like it, and I’m just going to have to live with that. I’ll try to see it for its own merits, not just the things I’m used to.

Well, that was this week in comics for me. Seeing as the Heroclix nerds are gearing up to play, I need to abandon my space and get on home. Love you all, and until next week, peace!
Oh, and I finally reread last weeks post. I’m not changing a thing, because this is one of those things I will look back on in the future and fall over laughing.

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A good week? What is this, Utopia?

Second week of the month, you know what that means! Eleven books! No fail expected! Can you handle this?! Let’s see if you can.

Okay, Paul Cornell should write Batman and Robin from now on. Please don’t let this one arc be it, because holy shit. Una Nemo, Absence, is one of those Bat-villains that has potential lasting power. She has a grudge on Bruce Wayne and typical Silver Age female motivation: to get the man she’s pining for to notice her. Sounds simple and almost silly, right? Well, Absence has one up on the women of the Silver Age because, guess what? She’s a friggin’ evil genius. Luring all the Batmen possible to her so that her gang can take out the people who tried to kill her the first time around, testing the strength and mettle of the Batman/Robin bond…brilliant. From my keyboard to DC editorial’s ears, Absence could be one of the great Batman femme fatales, don’t let her fall into obscurity.

Let me just say, I love how Cyril has a Southern Butler. He really is the Batman of England, and this ‘Hank’ seems like just the right person to be his Alfred. And ohmygod, Shrike and Cyril doing the guy thing. I swear to god, I was half expecting a line like, “You break her heart, I’ll break your legs.” Booooys…Beryl is quite possibly one of my favorite characters now. I mean, she’s so…hngh. If you’re not reading Knight and Squire yet, hop to it. Two issues left, and I can’t stand it.

Holy shit. What is this garbage?! Who stole Helena Sandsmark’s personality and replaced her with a bitch? Okay, a little bit of the history of the current Wonder Girl and her mother. Cassie has never really had a hard time getting her mother to support her career as a superhero. Helena worked at the museum that Cassie first swiped the magical tools that granted her original powers, and seemed to have very few qualms about Zeus granting her powers of her own. She literally got into a fist fight with Arrowette’s mother over letting their daughters be superheroes versus forcing them to. In the midst of the Amazon Attack, Helena was placed in a sympathizers camp, because she was the mother of Wonder Girl. Helena has NEVER been truly against Cassie being a hero. So what is this?! Blatant disregard of character history. I dub thee fail. But it was nice to finally officially meet the character that’s eventually going to become a Titan, Solstice. I like her character design, very pretty. Holy bi-polar, Batman! Did Cassie’s mom have a second personality transplant on top of the first? I find this odd, because J.T. Krul is normally such a good writer, but his characterization of Helena Sandsmark is, well, way off the mark.

Oh, Damian. You know you love Alfred like a grampa. Give it time, the revelation will come to you. How is it that every time Damian and Steph team up, I find myself falling more and more for the little bastard? He’s just too cute! I know this is the Batgirl book, but I wouldn’t object at all to more teamups between these two. Damian trying to blend in on a field trip, Steph teaching him how to play in a bounce house…DC, I’m begging you. Make this a regular thing between arcs. Damian needs a fun big sister to counterbalance the rest of his nutty family.

“No skin off my full, lustrous head of hair, man.” Oh, Deadshot. Never stop being amusing. This month’s Secret Six is a direct continuation of the last issue of Action Comics. In it, we see that Vandal really does love his daughter, Lex, while hot beyond words, is the biggest prick of all, and that Black Alice is probably the best and worst person to have on your team ever. “Is that a giant green catching mitt? I’d rather take the fall.” Oh, one-liners.

AUGH! That first giant splash page of Kilowog yelling at Guy actually caused me to jump. I’ve come to a conclusion about the Red Lanterns. Their power? It’s bulimia. Bleez barfs up a knife to take out a planetwide ring of defense, then chews on the big bad. This is how Red Lanterns stay so fit, everyone! Their power is purging!

Guillem March, you glorious bastard. The art in Birds of Prey was so pretty, I’m not even sure how to handle myself right now. And Gail, that scene with the Penguin was just horrifyingly creepydorable.

I want Tim to keep this new suit. He would have the best way of explaining how it came about. “It came to me in a dream!” The Uternet, which, by the way, is the worst name for a supervillain’s MMORPG in the history of ever, has been breached and corrupted! Tam Fox secretly wants to be a blaxploitaion heroine named Foxy Lady! Tim, or Lonnie, wants Cass to be Batman! Never change, book. Never change.

Oh god, please don’t let me turn the page to see that Lobo has a daughter. PLEASE don’t let me turn the page to see that Lobo has a daughter. Let’s just go back to Vril and Komand’r being flirty, lovey dovey time with Adam and Alanna, and Lobo harassing Captain Comet about how Kory just wants to bang him. Yaaay, more flirty flirty with Vril and Komy and…Stormdaughter? Stormdaughter is a Czarnian? Please don’t kiss him. Let the close-up on her lips mean that she’s about to start singing Science Fiction Double Feature, not that Stormdaughter is about to make out with Lobo. Don’t do this to me, Tony. I’m in no state to start shipping anything tonight. AUGH. You did it! You finally did it! You blew it up, damn you! Nice to see the phrase ‘Feetal’s gizz’ back in action, though. I missed it. (I should not find Lobo ripping his shirt as hot as I do oh god what is wrong with me damn you Claude St. Aubin you draw everyone too hot) Oh, good. It was just a pheromone. Worried me for a second there, Tony. Lobo isn’t Superman, he made sure he was the last of the Czarnians. In other news, trying to imagine a Tamaranian/Coluan hybrid just made me wince. The kid would be a walking Christmas decoration. Oh noes! Why you be stealin’ my Tribilus?

…Booster is 35? No wonder he’s so touchy about the possibility of going bald. Origin story, origin story, “Women in dozens of eras across history have sung the praises of my ass!” fight scene, fight scene, Iron Man reference (how?), banned from his favorite coffee place, origin story, YOU’RE UNDER ARREST! Ladies and gentlemen, that was Booster Gold #40 in a run-on sentence. Thank you.

So this entire run-around was just so Max could regain control of Checkmate and reactivate the OMACs? Max, I think you should just wear a big name tag, because you’re going to get sick of introducing yourself over and over. Also, when did Kara add high heels to her costume? She didn’t, that’s when. Stupid artist.

I’d like to just say, the latter half of these reviews were written while I was half asleep. I apologize for any unintentional humor, and if it suits me, I’ll rewrite them at a later date. Peace out, and stay warm.

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Notice: We are now a gambling blog, apparently

Welcome to the first Wedesday of 2011, fanboys and fangirls! We’ve got five books and not a lot of time, mainly because the Heroclix players in my LCS are gradually encroaching on my writing space. Shall we begin?

And what was your new year’s resoluation, fail train? If it was ‘to still suck, storywise, but have vastly improved art’, okay, I guess you’re achieving that. Hi, Carol! Still touting the virtues of love? “My heart will kick your ass!” Seriously, that’s pretty much the Star Sapphires’ motto. This looks like it’s going to be a Hawks/Deadman issue, and I’m cool with that. I like the Deadman storyline, kinda. It’s basically the main storyline of Brightest Day, after all. This week, he’s visiting with his only living relative, his grandfather, who may or may not be the White Lantern. No, really. Look at that last page and tell me what you think.

JSA: All-Stars: Penis jokes still exist in mainstream comics. I don’t know if Tommy is going to keep the handle Wildcat or if he’s going to go by Tomcat now, a name he used to hate but now apparently likes. This bugs me, as I really like Tommy, so the ambiguity is painful. The Big Bad of this new arc seems to be Arthur Pemberton. Wait, Pemberton? As in Sylvester Pemberton, the Star Spangled Kid before Courtney Whitmore? This bears some investigation.

Weird Worlds is…weird. Three seperate stories in one book, two set in space, and one written and drawn by Kevin Maguire. Lobo, Garbageman, and Tanga. Will a book about these three survive a six-issue run? I hope so, I actually found this first issue pretty…good.

I think Adventure Comics may have the capacity to turn into a Mon-El book, which isn’t a bad thing, necessarily. I’m alright with a 31st century Green Lantern book, so long as it’s written well. And good lord, is it written well. Paul Levitz plays Lar’s Daxamite strength and invulnerability, as well as his weaknesses, alongside his new Green Lantern ring quite well, and I’m interested in what this ‘Adversary’ blue baby thing is. In other words, a 31st century Green Lantern book could have been handled worse.

So, guess what my favorite book of the week was? Oh man, who’d have thought that a book set in Smallville could be so awesome? This issue, though, was chock full of slashy undertones. First Bart shows up and tells Kon that Tim will be “jealous” of his fight with Poison Ivy, then Kon essentially pulls the jock/nerd breakup with his friend Simon. Wow, boys. But all jokes aside, this issue was pretty cool., what with the introdction of a new hero and Kon being sloppy with his secret identity. Only an issue or two to go before the Superboy/Kid Flash race, place your bets in advance!

Well, that’s all she wrote, folks. And she’s not going to write any more until she gets a midol and some dinner in her, so I guess that means I’m about done here. See you next week, don’t forget to turn out the lights and lock the door when you’re done.

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