Look at the cover of Secret Six and try to focus on something other than Scandal’s boots

Three books this week, pathetic. And one of them is fail train, so it’s more like only having two books. Oh, and another one is essentially just a lead-in to the next Green Lantern event. Oh, this is depressing. Let’s do this thing.

Hey look, it’s Jade! With the most lines she’s had since her resurrection. And we’re finally back on the J’onn storyline! SINCE WHEN DOES J’ONN HAVE HEAT VISION?! I know I’ve yelled this question before, but seriously. It makes no sense for the heat-sensitive Martian to have fire eyes. Hahaha we’re watching Martian porn unfold on the page. I turn the page, there’s gonna be a Source Wall there, isn’t it? I mean, this played out once between Superman and Darkseid. This exact scene. Ooh, the sun. Just as good, and gorey. Oooh, White Lantern J’onn is quite shiny and apparently impervious to fire. Wait. What the fuck did I just read? Okay, fail train. I am intrigued.

Man, the Guardians used to be tall. And, like, kinda built. Damn, Krona, got enough junk in that trunk? And Carol and Hal get into the classic damsel pose, fantastic. Holy crap, isn’t Sinestro’s head supposed to be huge and his body is small? Or is this just the most extreme of close-ups? Pff, way to call Hal on his addiction to boobies, Sinestro. So, Krona is to blame for the Manhunters murder spree? I actually think I like him a bit, the man gets shit done. Not good shit, oh no, but he does get it done.

I love Insignificus. He’s creepily adorable. And speaking of creepy adorable things, Ragdoll. I’ve loved this version of the character since Villians United. He’s whimsical, depraved, and probably insane, but he’s also the hardest of cores. It’s Secret Seven versus Ragdoll and the legions of hell, while Scandal’s new girlfriend is being put through an intense one-on-one straight camp from, well, hell. I’m really looking forward to the next issue.

And that was it! God, it’s not even 8 yet. Ah, well, look for me by Tumblr, my lovelies, and see you next week!


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