Get my…blue ring?! What?

A medium sized week, but it doesn’t look disappointing. Then again, a new DC event, War of the Green Lanterns, begins this week with the first two parts being released simultaneously, so we’ll see. Shall we get down to it?

Not interested in the main story within Batman Inc this month, gimme some of that Kathy Kane. Now, as someone who has actually read some Kathy Kane/Batwoman stories (tacky colors, ugly mask, the friggin’ purse…), she was a joke. She was just a female counterpart to Batman that either a.) needed to be saved or b.) was a romantic plot device to drive the Dynamic Duo apart. But Grant, I’ve gotta say, you’ve done good work in making me want to respect this danger-loving, hell-raising reimagining. Now if we could just talk for a moment about Jason Todd…
Also, Dick is ridiculously adorable to the point of me exclaiming it out loud. I mean, really. This jealousy is just so…Silver Age, it’s laughable. Oh you little darling.

Ahh, and so the storyline from the Legion of Supervillians one-shot continues! I hope this means more Mekt. I just…love watching him screw up. Is that so wrong? I want to keep him in my glorious hall of idiots that can never win but look pretty forever. Speaking of, stuttery Brainy will never not be endearing to me. Thom and Nura are one of my original Legion OTPs, I’m glad to see them back in the same century again. Brin Londo is the definition of badass. The original man/beast hybrid type thing. Suck it, Wolverine (don’t actually suck it Wolverine, Rule #34 doesn’t need any more ideas). “I didn’t ask for this job, you know.” Uh, trying to say something, Mr. Levitz? I mean, I know about Mon-El being elected made you a mite bitchy becaus of how it would interrupt story flow, but c’mon. Brainiac 5’s superpower is being able to compliment you and insult you at the same time. He’s a quantum jerk and we love him for it. Oh look, the mysterious Professor Li is back! So, does this mean we finally get some background on her? Maybe? Please? Cliffhanger, okay. That works too.

War of the Green Lanterns begins in Green Lantern #64, and holy shit. It’s a giant Hal Jordan wank-fest. No, I’m just…I can’t. For starters, it’s a ship war. Hal/Carol, Hal/Sinestro, Hal/Parallax…all are represented here. And that last one is just freaky. “My precious Hal.” When the fucking living embodiment of fear thinks you’re just swell, you’ve got problems. I mean, real, serious, let’s-all-go-to-the-psychiatrist problems.

The second part in Green Lantern Corps isn’t much better. This time, it’s a Kyle Rayner I’m-going-to-whine-about-not-being-good-enough parade. Kid, you’ve saved the universe multiple times. You’ve saved the multiverse at least once. Cut yourself some fucking slack and if someone says you’re not good enough, bitch-slap them with a construct of your dick.

Alex is the Brainiac/Luthor clone. I’m throwing it out here first. That’s what the little freak is. Lex and Brainy1’s baby with a bit of Kryptonian DNA thrown in. Or he’s Match unrottified and given an upgrades. I mean, that’s what kind of vibe I’m getting here. There is no way this little bastard is human, just no way. Oh, and Damian is precious here. Just…this kid. I love how he’s somehow mastered Brainiac 5’s superpower from a thousand years away. Adorable little kitten.

OMACs. Why did it have to be OMACs?! Well, because it’s Max Lord killing Wonder Woman, doy. But in all honesty, this is the first issue of Generation Lost in which not only did I not ask for my red ring, I laughed. And covered my face. And called Gavril a precious baby cherub out loud in front of the Heroclix guys. Seriously, I love that guy. Give him his own series about having WACKY misadventures in America while Fire and Ice guest star constantly. Hell, make it a people of ethnicity series, lose the ‘I am a confused foreigner, what’s going on’ element, add in Jaime (our Lord and savior) and his family, and you’ll have a fun adventure book that makes people laugh. I would read this book religiously. But really, Gavril and Skeets are the stars of this book, don’t try to fool me. “Batman remembers Max Lord?” “Yes.” “Thank. You. God.” Y’know, for an athiest, Booster sure thanks that big imaginary friend he doesn’t believe in a lot.

I’m hungry. Why is it that that’s what I always end these posts with? But yeah, I’m hungry, no more books to read, and my computer is running out of juice. So I’m gonna go get some food, see you crazy kids here same time next week? Groovy.

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