May the 4th be with you, always.

A frightfully small week, sadly. Five books, and not a stinker amongst them…I hope. Shall we?

Lobo, why do you look so surprised that S’Glayne’s father shot him? Or is that a look of horror..? You are the Main Man, grow a pair and just shoot him! Garbageman, I skip over. As always. As for the Tanga story…hey, remember Za? He’s a creeper. And he has his own alien harem. Run Tanga! Run away!

If I can take anything away from this issue of JSA: All-Stars, it’ll be the imae of King Chimera glaring at over-talkative nerds on the bus. The short saga of the Prince comes to a close not with a whimper, but with a bang. And holy shit, what a bang. He took out most of upstate New York! I really love the character of Roxy. She’s just so…awesome.

And so comes the end of the Legion Academy story. Grave-defiling, theft, jackassery…yeah, this crop of recruits is going to be just fab. Can you smell that sarcasm? As for the Jenni story…well, the less said about that the better. She’s not a member of the Legion, she’s refusing to join their Academy, and she’s tracing the roots of her family back to ancient times. And the entire thing was wrapped up in eight pages. I am so goddamn angry right now, y’all have no idea.

So, Superboy is evil again? I’m just looking at the cover and…red eyes, burning Kent farm, heavy eyeliner…kind of screams evil to me, folks. Hmm. Evil Superboy, every superhuman dead, Luthor brainwashing? No. Oh, I see now. Black Mercy plants! Oh, plot devices from the 80s, how I adore thee. But this art…ugh, so not my thing.

Okay, I’m going to take a minute to make a comparison. Lately, the Secret Six book has reminded me of The Walking Dead. No, I’m not saying they both have zombies, don’t be ridiculous. They both showcase all the ugliness of humanity, yes, but they both also follow a very specific pattern. Just when you think everything is going to be alright, WHUMP, an whole pile of shit falls on the main characters. This issue, after fighting the hordes of hell to win back her lover, Knockout, we finally hear someone address the issue of the fact that Scandal’s other girlfriend has been fucking kidnapped and put through the straight camp of doom. How has it taken this long? I mean, Scandal isn’t heartless, she really cares for this other chick. But…Knockout is supposedly her true love. Can she really choose one life over another? But at the same time, she should ask herself this question: would she fight all of hell to save Liana? Frankly, I doubt it. She blows off hot lesbian sex with a six foot tall redheaded stripper (which seems to be her type) in order to go to hell and drag back her ex. Sorry Liana, but I think you’ve been dumped.

And that was this week in comics. Don’t forget, Saturday May 7th is Free Comic Book Day at comic shops around the nation! As for today, well, May the 4th be with you! I’ll catch y’all later, dinner beckons.

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