But, where shall I go for my awesome space adventures NOW?!

Man, I’m not ready for this. I can’t take it. R.E.B.E.L.S. can’t end today. I mean, if it ends, what am I going to do with all of my odd feelings for Claude St. Aubin’s art? What, I ask of you?! Seven books. I can put it at the end. I, I can do this.

Cassandra Cain’s new identity is BlackBat. I think I can handle this.

Okay, Fabian, Lynx is no Catwoman. Bat/Cat rooftop makeouts are not normal. Stop throwing women at Tim in hopes that he will bang him, this is not characterization, and it is not making you look any better. But you get points for the one-sided banter between Tim and Scarab, that was cute. I’m not really feeling this book anymore, I think the only thing that keeps me coming back is Marcus To’s pretty, pretty art.

The most dangerous thing for Batgirl in this issue is a young man’s boner for her. So large is his boner for her, he tells the people she was fighting to steer clear of her, because he is going to be fighting her from now on. Whaaaat? In other news, Wendy and the ghost of Marvin are going to Nanda Parbat! Road trip! Is it bad of me to hope that this leads Wendy to make peace with her condition and not seek rehabilitation? I like her as angry!Babs. It’s certainly made her more useful than before.

So let’s break this down. Zoom can change his age as well as time travel now, making him DC’s new Big Threat; Patty was always in love with Barry, which is why she moved away from him (shocker); Zoom has fap material for the rest of eternity now that he’s killed ‘a’ Barry Allen; Bart and Barry have apparently moved past their family issues and get along now, all in the space of ten or so pages. You know, for an issue leading up to an event, I’m not in any way impressed.

The first issue of Flashpoint left me scratching my head. Take heed, all ye reading this, nothing is as we know it. In one group scene, I literally sat here waving my arms and asking if anyone recognized the other Marvel kids. I mean, I am very stumped. I’ll read this series with one brow cocked, thanks.

Birds of Prey made me almost pee myself on the second to last page. I’m going to be completely honest here, Gail Simone’s brain terrify’s me. I don’t know what corner of her mind Junior sprung from, but I never want to travel down that alley after dark. Yes, Junior is back and more fucked up than ever! I’m going to sit in the corner and rock back and forth for a while now.

…hold that thought! I’ll lose my mind later, time for R.E.B.E.L.S.! I swear, I am going to miss this series like crazy. There were so many good things about it! The writing, the art, Lobo and Strife’s blossoming bromance, Kory’s crotch symbol, Lyrl and Vril being ridiculous, aaah. So many things I just love! Anyway, this final issue comes to a close with L.E.G.I.O.N. triumphing over Starro once and for all, Komand’r claiming Vril’s dick as her property, and possibly having the team show up during the War of the Green Lanterns. DC, please let L.E.G.I.O.N. be a series again. Please let Vril’s last line be a lead-in to a new series. That Tony and Claude are working on. I need this in my life.

That was this week in comics, for me anyway, and…is it just me, or do I always finish these things with a complaint on how hungry I am? Because I’m starving. Dinner time! See you here next week?

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