In which my feelings for Jason Todd cause my heart to explode

Eight books…what is this, the second week of the month?! In any case, we’ve got a new series, the ending of an arc, and the beginning of three new arcs, so let’s get to it!

Gates of Gotham begins this week, and christ. I think I may actually like a Batman-focused book. Say what you will about Batman and Robin, but that’s a Damian book and everyone knows it. The books begins in Old Gotham, and ends on a mystery. Who are the ‘four families’ of Gotham? ‘Old money’, obviously. So, Wayne, Elliot, Kane, and..? I’m going to go out on a limb and say Falcone. The Falcones are a mob family, and who really knows how far back their influence goes in Gotham? Alan Wayne built the bridges that were blown up, and Tommy ‘Hush’ Elliot’s name is on one of them, my guess that the third bridge is named after either a Kane or this mysterious fourth family. Okay, Gates of Gotham. I’m intrigued. Carry on.

Miss Martian is starting to turn into an Omega character, I’ve noticed. This is the…third time, I think, she’s been involved in a situation where someone has tried to control her mind, been unable to, and that’s the reason the hero she’s working with is able to win. She’s been showing up as a guest star in other titles lately, too. Hmm, how likely do you think the chance is that DC will resurrect their ‘Teen Titans Spotlight’ mini-series’ and make one about Miss Martian? Oh, and I know that I’m technically talking about the latest issue of Supergirl but c’mon, who do you think was the real star of this issue?

…why does Zatanna see her assistant, Mikey, as a man in her dream? Apparently the dream is based on reality, the reality of three years past. Did Mikey…used to be a man? That’s actually a pretty neat idea, magical sex-change. I’d like to state for the record that very few people beat Paul Dini when it comes to banter. Zatanna’s exchange with the Spectre was just glorious. Oh, and on the darker side of human existence, Brother Night escapes from prison, and the detective that works with Zee sometimes is apparently his son. Crazy world we live in, huh?

The less I say about this month’s Power Girl, the better. There’s going to be an epic shitstorm tonight, ladies and gents, and frankly, I want no part in it.

Can I just say that I love Colu? And Coluans? Especially when they panic? Because face it, if you can startle the smartest, most logical beings in the universe, you know you’re one scary MF. So, anyone else getting sick of Levitz dancing around who Professor Li actually is? Obviously, she’s some kind of immortal. But who? Which one? Of what planet? Stop teasing and tell us, damnit!

You know what? I don’t think I’m going to like Flashpoint very much. Just judging from the Booster Gold crossover, I’m not saying it’s going to suck, I’m just saying that I don’t think I personally will like it.

Oh christ, don’t tell me this is going to be one of those arcs for Teen Titans. Raven’s dad is a demon. Her current body is made of the blood of devil worshippers. We get it, she’s bred to be bad, so she should naturally want to side with the demons. Blah blah blah, wasn’t this story done to death back when Johns was on this book?

And now, the moment I’ve been waiting for for months. Those of you that follow my Tumblr may have some inkling of how much I absofuckinglutely love Jason Todd. Now, my boy has been treated like shit under several pens recently (Tony Daniel and Grant Morrison immediately springing to mind), but now we’re back to basics. We’re back to the guy that made Jason Todd into the Red Hood. If you’ve read this blog in the past, you know how much I loathe Judd Winick. He can’t write women. He can’t write teams. He can’t really write interpersonal relationships. But this man knows how to write Jason Todd. His Under the Hood story, in which the character using the Red Hood nom de crime was revealed to actually be Batman’s dead sidekick Jason Todd, was the first non-Dini written Batman work I’d liked in a while. I expect this three-issue arc to be on par with that. No, really. I expect it. After shitting so thoroughly all over Power Girl and the JLI for the better part of a year, you owe us, Winick. This is it. This is your redemption for making Peeg’s secret ID a Bruce Wayne/Oracle hybrid. This is for molding Ice into some kind of twisted gypsy stereotype. This is for letting us think Jaime was dead.
I’m going to read the book now.
I’m very scared.
What the hell is Roy Harper’s head doing on Jason Todd’s body? I know this is obvious some kind of artist error, so you’re the one to answer for that one, Gulliem March. But this, this is nice. They’re talking. And Bruce’s inner-monologue brings an interesting thought to mind. Jason could ruin everything Bruce has built up, just by revealing his real name. Remember, as far as the rest of the world is concerned, Jason Todd died years ago. Bruce Wayne’s first adopted son is stone cold, worm food, gathering moss. He could tear down the entire legacy by going up to a security guard and going, “Hi, I’m Jason Todd. Want to know everything about Batman?” But he hasn’t. He loves Bruce that much. Because even though he wasn’t avenged, Bruce is still his father.
Oww no you did not just say that Jason oh god why
In case no one was paying attention to Red Hood: The Lost Days, Jason and Talia had a fling. And at the time of said fling, Damian was probably like, five. Maybe six. Jason is rubbing the fact that he had sex with the mother of Bruce’s child in his face. Don’t do this to me, Judd. I already hate you, this is just inviting some kind of verbal threat, and I don’t want to go to jail. Hnnngh, and in an instant, Gulliem March makes me forget why I’m mad. Pretty sure that if I ever found a man that looked like that, and somehow managed to enchant him with my stunning (HA) personality, you folks would never hear from me again. Jesus on wheels, Jason pump a little more iron with your thighs why don’t you! Aaaah and that ridiculous pinup pose after the yard fight…Jason Todd, will you and your bedroom eyes please report to my home immediately? Also, did anyone notice how he was reading Pride and Prejudice? Pretty sure his hand was covering the ‘and Zombies’ part of that title, but that’s just me.
…is that a T-Rex smoking a cigar while toting a sniper rifle? Whelp, thank god they showed up on the last page, because I’m a little tired of spitting obsceities. That was fucking hilarious. No, seriously, who are these guys? Where did they come from? Who was playing god one day and decided to splice a man with a fucking dinosaur? I think I need to lay down.

And that was this week in comics. If anyone needs me, I’ll be curled in a ball, crying under my covers while stroking the action figure I have of Jason Todd as Robin. I mean, I know the packaging says Young Dick Grayson, but look at those bangs. Look at those thighs. It’s Jason, and anyone who says otherwise is kidding themselves. Same time next week, my lovelies?

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