Archive for June, 2011

It feels like the end, doesn’t it?

Ah, at last! The final four first-issues of the Flashpoint minis are upon us! And now, to see what I won’t be reading for the rest of the summer.

But first, the final Green Lantern movie prequel starring…Hal Jordan! If you can’t tell simply from the title, it sucks. But it does have a nice cameo of Guy Gardner being manly and shirtless after football, so there’s that. And then the second feature makes…no sense whatsoever. It’s about this purple chick who hates fighting being drafted into the Green Lantern Corps…and being happy about it? Hi, pacifist chick, this entire organization you just joined is about kicking ass. You are going to be miserable. Enjoy that.

As always, I’m treating the four minis as one big book, so just strap in and brace yourselves.
First off, fuck Oliver Queen and the horse he rode in on. No, seriously. Fuck this guy. He takes the weapons off of incarcerated supervillains and mass-produces them for the U.S. government, fuck this guy. Oh, and speaking of fornication, the Flashpoint Ollie is just as big of a hound as the regular one. And apparently, Vixen is a supervillain. Well, this started off great, doncha think?
Is it okay if I just…don’t say anything about Project Superman? There is literally nothing enjoyable for me about that book, so.
Okay, there is more advertising in the Flashpoint: Hal Jordan mini than in any other comic ever. What the hell, DC? It’s not even a good story. It’s a rehashing on the origin, again. Set in the movieverse, obviously. Agh, this just makes me so mad.
Now for the most part, I like British-centered titles. Knight and Squire was probably my favorite mini of this year. But I’m going to have to pass on The Canterbury Cricket, it’s a little too weird for my taste.
That concludes the last round of Flashpoint mini first issues, I now return you to your scheduled programming.

How long can a woman hold a grudge? If you’re Selina Kyle, two years pases like nothing. Hm, and it has been two years now, hasn’t it? Gotham City Sirens has always been pretty good to me. I mean, it’s a book focusing on the bad girls of Batman’s home town, how could it not be fabulous? But this last arc…I liked to think that Harley had grown from her days in Batman: The Animated Series. I mean, she’s had her own comic, worked alongside Batman, and proven herself to be a good, albiet pretty crazy, person. These last few issues have just seemed like a total regression for her, and that’s sad.

And people ask me why I love Emerald Warriors…
Guy leading with his penis aside (and don’t think I’m not going to have something to say about that), this was a great issue. It showed that in the absence of his ring, Guy can still kick ass. Then again, that was also the entire point behind Guy Gardner: Warrior, but whatever. But back to man’s primary thinking aparatus. What the fuck, Guy?! Is the Generation Lost thing still in effect? I should hope not. For those who wonder, one change Max’s mind-whammy made on the world was to break up Guy and Ice. If that’s still going, I’m pissed. If that isn’t still going, and Guy just decided to blatantly cheat on the love of his life right before he goes on leave, I’ll be pissed. The entire angle just made me angry.

Guess what’s back?! If you guessed Avengers: The Children’s Crusade, you would be correct. So last time, Wanda got her memory restored. That was good, and bad. But this time, she’s the one doing the restoring. Looks like the next three issues may be dedicated to, get this, the Scarlet Witch going around the globe and giving former mutants their powers back. Yeah, I gave a little squeak of joy when I read that, not gonna lie. Can you believe it? M-Day is going to be reversed…kinda! Not to mention that Billy and Tommy have their ‘mom’ with them now…oh, I love a happy pseudo-ending!

Anyway, that’s this week in comics!
Hey Floridians! Guess what? This weekend is Florida Supercon! Actually, let me correct myself. From Friday, July 1st, to Monday, July 4th, Florida Supercon will be happening in Miami, Florida! It’s more than a weekend convetion, it’s a long weekend convention! I’ll be there either Saturday or Sunday, hope to see you there!

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There’s a shameless self-plug at the end of this post!

Relatively small week, well, in comparison to what we’ve had lately. Seven books, and I’m only genuinely looking forward to three. Possibly four. No, three. Zoom is a dick. Shall we?

As always, I’ll be addressing the Flashpoint stuff in one go, because frankly, I don’t care much about or for it.
Sorry, James Robinson. You no longer have any entertaining value for me. I’ll always think of you fondly when I read Starman.
Lois Lane and the Resistance, however, is totally fierce. The Amazons have turned the United Kingdom into something akin to Nazi Germany. Men and women are seperated, all possessions are surrendered. Women are reprogrammed while men are seemingly transformed. Brilliant writing, really. A few complaints, though. Having Jimmy Olsen be a part of Cyborg’s resistance, ace. Killing him so that Lois has a guaranteed way in, not so ace. Also, what the fuck is Artemis wearing on that last page? Was she late for bondage night at Lashina’s house? Not very battle-compatible.
Okay, the Reverse Flash book is, predictably, an origin story. An origin story that ignores everything before Flash: Rebirth, apparently. Oh dear, this is just…really bad, to be honest. I liked the origin Eobard Thawne had in The Return of Barry Allen, that one was ace. And what’s this ‘never killing Iris’ bullshit? Uh, her death is kind of extremely important and…forget it. I’m not going to rant.
The Kid Flash book, on the other hand, is a work of art. Great plot, excellent art…DC, this is why Bart needs more spotlighting. He’s grown as a character since his days as Impulse, and too many people seem to forget that he’s not just the distracted kid with the great hair anymore. In this mini, Bart needs to figure out a way to jump-start the Speed Force…or he’ll die. He’s joined by the woman with the perpetual boner for Barry Allen, a deceptively youthful looking Patty Spivot, who is now using the guise of Hot Pursuit. I actually want to see how this one turns out.
We now return you to your normal programming.

In the tradition of other youth teams, this month’s issue of Young Justice takes place around a campfire! Seriously, this plot? Done to death. The New Teen Titans had a 4-issue origin mini set around this plot, the 7th issue of Young Justice had a campfire plot, even the short-lived Teen Titans Go! had a campfire-based origin issue. But hey, new Earth, new rules. Wally’s origin pisses me off. It’s widely accepted that the day Wally became Kid Flash was pretty much the happiest day of Barry’s life. He finally had someone who understood the power, someone to fight beside. What’s this bull about Wally having to convince Barry to take him on as a sidekick?! Ugh, I just…no.

I don’t know how he managed it, but Adam Beechen made me laugh. A lot. And I actually enjoyed this issue of Zatanna…until his legendary lack of research came into play. Zatanna can affect people. Hell, her most famous storyline of the past few years has involved her morphing peoples memories and personalities. It’s her cousin, Zach, who can’t affect people yet. Long story short, it’s an issue that’s good on one-liners, bad on pretty much everything else.

Batman: Gates of Gotham is a great book in many ways, and a terrible book in others. The writing and art are superb, it’s submersed in the history of a city we all think we know but really have no clue, and it’s not just a Batman book; it’s a Batman family book. Cass, Tim, Damian, and Dick are all working with Daddybats to discover who is dismanteling Gotham bit by bit- and why. My one complaint, the thing that makes this a bit of a bad book to me, is Damian. Y’all know me, I love that little brat to bits. But his attitude towards Cass…what is that? He’s shown to be nothing less than worshipping towards her very existance, and now he wants to beat her up? Sorry, I thought we’d moved past Morrison-era Damianby now. I’m still looking forward to how this series comes together, but not as much as I once was.

And that was this week in comics for me!
Hey, any of you guys Floridians? If so, have I got an idea for you! Stop on by Tate’s Comics this Saturday for the first-annual Swap and Sale! It’s from 10 am to 2 pm Saturday June 25th, and I have a booth! Hope to see you!

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My apologies for the late hour of posting. Or is it early now?

Eleven books this week, what is this, the second week of the month? DC, you’re killing me here.

Abin Sur’s one-shot was actually pretty good. Got to see Amanda Waller back when she, er, had a soul? I dunno how else to put it.

I’m going to address all the Flashpoint books as one again, to save time and space.
Man, Grodd is a total bitch in this. A big baby seeking attention. Fuck this guy. He’s like Superbitch Prime in a gorilla’s body. What oh no he did NOT just kill Catman. Thank god this is just a one-shot. I could not put up with this shit for three issues.
Okay, so, the basic point of Wonder Woman and the Furies is that everyone wants to off Diana, even her own people. She was legitimately in…love? With Arthur. She seemed to have a good bit of affection for him, at least. I wonder how Mera fits into this.
And then there was the Legion of Doom. It’s a Heatwave book. Sweet god in heaven, I’m in a world where there is a Captain Cold book and a Heatwave book running at the same time. Is, is this real life? Is this just fantasy? And it’s actually pretty good. I just love how the jail is located in the Legion of Doom building. Ooh, Cluemaster? Does that mean that Steph exists in this universe? Holy fuck Plastic Man just came out of Cluemaster’s mouth?! Holy shit. Yeah, I’m reading this for as long as it’s coming out because this is crazy awesome.
The Deadman and the Flying Graysons book just totally endears me to Boston Brand’s character. Please, recognize the sarcasm in my tone here. I hated Deadman during Birghtest Day, I never really liked him beforehand, and right now? Fuck, I just want to strangle this dork. He’s a total jerk to Dick, just because Dick wants to perform with his folks instead of going off and performing on his own. Hmm, Doctor Fate and the helmet remember the world before the change, how interesting. I actually want to see how that develops.
I give the Flashpoint books this week a 6 of 10. Legion of Doom and the Wonder Woman book knock it out of the park, while the Grodd and Deadman books kind of fall flat. And now onto our regular programming!

How is this book getting cancelled?! Batgirl is, quite frankly, one of the most consistently entertaining books DC puts out. Damn you, reboot! In this issue, Steph travels to England and teams up with Squire to save the Greenwich Mean (which is, apparently, a magic sword. Okay.), and all of this is a precursor to Steph’s Batman Inc adventure later this month. Oh, Squire, you made my heart turn over. “You are most certainly not a sidekick.” You tell them, girl.

Still not touching this storyline. Nice to see the two-issue Power Girl arc had a happy ending, though.

Kara herself put it best when she said, “First Harvard, now Stanhope.” Sending Supergirl off to college seems to be a staple of her secret identity nowadays, which I find a bit odd. Isn’t she supposed to be, um, sixteen? Or is she the opposite of Tim Drake and aging rapidly? DC, if you’re going to set an age standard on your sidekick characters, make it consistent, would you? Anyway, to the storyline. In this first issue of three, Professor Ivo is stealing genius orphan kids from colleges around the country for…some reason. The plot must be in the next issue. Oh, and of course Kara meets a boy. And since later issue covers show him all Snow White style, he is obviously set to be the arc’s love interest. And since this is Supergirl, he’s either going to die or be evil in the end. I know I side-eye this series pretty hard for being predictable, so I really hope this arc proves me wrong. Supergirl, I want to love you, but you’re just making it so hard.

I only have one thing to say about this Professor Li plot: FINALLY. Fourteen goddamn issues of her randomly showing up, then vanishing again only to show up later to be mysterious. Augh, and of course they cut to the other storyline. Paul, Paul, I’m in actual physical pain over this. Seriously, fuck everything else in this issue, what’s up with Professor Li? Tell me.
…so that’s it? She’s from one of the three worlds, the world of Wisdom, that Saturn Queen and her cronies seek to destroy? Oh, fuck that, worst reveal ever.

Tiny Titans is such a cute book, and this month is focused on my favorite kind of heroes, speedsters! Sorry, but as soon as I saw my Thad on the cover, I knew I had to not only read this issue, but buy it as well. Hopefully the coming Reboot won’t put the kibosh on the Johnny DC titles, because I’d be sad to see Tiny Titans go.

Damnit, Raven, are you still on this?! Okay, lemme back up a bit. This issue of Teen Titans is absolutely saturated with Indian mythologies, and I love it. Kiran is definitely an interesting, compelling character. Anyway, Gar pushes his powers to the limit, I suppose, assuming the form of a great ape, a la the monkey king Hanuman, and breaks the captured Titans out of Rankor’s cages. Can I just say right now that I’m sick of these Subway comic ads making a comic look longer than it actually is? This issue ended on a cliffhanger with Kiran preparing to fight Rankor. Oh, I hope she shows up in the reboot, I’ll miss her if she doesn’t.

I know I’ve been mentioning the reboot a lot, but it’s just because I’m worried. We’re going to lose a lot of characters, and even more are going to change drastically. I’m afraid that by September, I’ll be completely out of touch with my favorite characters. I pride myself on knowing the histories attached to the characters I write about, what’s going to happen when everything changes? Aah, ignore me. I’m just being crazy.

By the way, I apologize for the delay, but I didn’t actually get to my LCS until nearly 9 pm due to car issues. Flay me with your words, loyal readers, I deserve it for breaking deadline. Just…don’t make me lick a doorway, okay? Same place next week, just an earlier time, honest. Peace be with you.

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My bunk, I will be in it until further notice

Flashpoint oh Flashpoint, my heart will sing with glee once you are over. Mainly because I have three titles this week that frankly, I don’t want to read. But I’m going to do it. I’m doing it for all of you. Remember me as a saint and a martyr. Or, if nothing else, remember me as a mildly entertaining babe that fell over dead while reading Emperor Aquaman.

Speaking of which…no. No, I’m not starting my day with that. C’mere, Citizen Cold. So to start, it seems Len Snart may not be under the goggles, and Wally works as a driver for his aunt Iris. Who, you may remember, is not actually married to Barry here. Which leaves Len (not Len?) to hit on her. Pfff oh my god Axel Walker. This kid manages to amuse me every time I see him. He’s apparently the ‘annoying’ villain in Iron Heights. Speaking of the other Rogues, Cold seems to be pretty merciless with them, well, at least to a point. He hasn’t actually killed any of them, not even Mirror Master who everyone thinks is dead, not like he does other people who oppose him. Ooh, now that I like. Citizen Cold really is Len Snart, which we find out when we see him watch his sister get arrested on the news after murdering their father. But a redhead in green is watching him. Could it be…Piper? Well, technically. I’m going to come right out and say that this is a fantastic book so far. Scott Kolins was a great choice to be working on a Cold book, and I’m glad to see him back in the game.
Moving right along to, oh god, Deathstroke and the Curse of the Ravager. Surprisingly, not terrible. The general gist is that Slade is searching the world for his missing daughter, Rose, and killing and plundering any ship that gets in his way. Simple enough, and not worthy of my ire. You may pass unharmed, first issue.
I’ve got no real interest in Frankenstein and the Creatures of the Unknown, so I’ll just be passing it by.
Now on to the real stinker. I’m going to be honest, I don’t give a flying fuck about Aquaman. Never have. He’s just not interesting to me. But this book is being written by Tony Bedard, so I’m sort of required to at least give it a look-see. It actually wasn’t that bad. Basic story of political intrigue followed by betrayal, the death of a lover, yadda yadda yadda. Not bad, actually pretty good, but nothing that I haven’t seen before. I mean, Mera’s death was already spoiled by the variant cover to last week’s issue of the main Flashpoint book, so there’s that. I’ll glance through this book when it comes out, but I’m not planning on buying it.

So I read the two Green Lantern movie prequel comics that came out today. I was pleased to see that apparently, Lantern Iolande and Lantern Kol are going to be in the movie along with some of the better-known Lanterns, according to the Kilowog one-shot. The Tomar-Re one-shot was kind of depressing, though.

Continuing with the Flashpoint tie-ins, Booster Gold! And frankly, it kind of stinks. Booster is on the trail of Zoom, and he’s not doing a great job of it. I’ll be happy when, if, Booster Gold gets back to normal.

Stay classy, Red Robin! Swear to god, I like that book less and less as time goes by. So we go from an assassin tourney in Cairo to Tim about to be raped in Russia over the course of a single issue. That Tim Drake, he loves the ladies soooo much. Please note my sarcasm. What’s next?

I may not be happy about Gail Simone being the writer on the new Batgirl series starring Babs, but damn am I pleased with this issue of Birds of Prey. I love it when Secret Six characters interact with the Birds, and Babs using Catman’s affection for Huntress for information was just inspired. Junior will be back, and I’m on the edge of my seat with anticipation.

Damian, what are you doing? That cover is ridiculous. Dami is all, “Nom! I am eating your wrist, brother!” Precious little kitten. In other news, I’m fainting with joy. Literally slumped over in my chair smiling. I can’t even convey just how much I liked this issue. The art…no. But Judd, Judd darling, dearest, sweetest Judd, you’re redeemed. You’ve managed to seamlessly incorporate all the best parts of Morrison’s Jason and your own, while deleting all the terrible, unnecessary stuff. Way to go, you.

I’m going to have to lay down now, the excitement was simply too much for me. See you lovely people another day.

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On #1’s and why I’m only sort of flipping my shit

Ever since the announcement that DC would be rebooting the entire universe and sending many titles back to issue #1, I’ve been chewing my nails down to the nubs. It actually hurts to type with my index fingers, tell the truth. I don’t like big changes, not where comics are involved. It took me a little while to adjust to the ‘everybody change identities’ upheaval within the Batfamily when it happened, but now, honestly, this is like a golden age of Gotham titles. Batman and Robin, Batgirl, Gotham City Sirens, Birds of Prey, Red Robin (to an extent), even the few Detective Comics and Streets of Gotham issues I’ve read with DickBats and Damian have been fab.

Then this happened:

– Nightwing #1: Dick Grayson is back as Nightwing!
– Batgirl #1: Barbara Gordon’s return to Batgirl!
– Batman and Robin #1 and Batman: The Dark Knight #1: Bruce Wayne, the One True Batman!

What? No. No, I don’t think so. What the fuck is this ‘One True Batman’ horseshit?! I mean, Bruce started Batman Inc so that he wouldn’t have to be the only Batman. He trusted Dick to carry on the mantle he’d been raised under. Hell, he trusted Dick to essentially raise his son for him under the guise of the ‘Batman needs a Robin’ principle. Dick graduated from his role as Nightwing. He grew up, made the final leap. He is Batman.

Besides, look at this costume:

No, this is Jason Todd, shut up DC

What the fuck is this? Nightwing is the fun Bat. He’s got the lighter colors pretty much painted on his body. No, this, my lovelies, is a trick. Obviously, Jason is back to his old identity-snatching games, having pulled Dick’s old Renegade costume out of storage.

Then there’s the matter of the Batgirl mantle.

Steph isn’t the iconic Batgirl, that’s Babs. Steph isn’t the most effective Batgirl, that’s Cass. Steph isn’t even the most badass Batgirl, that would be Helena (though to be fair, she was actually calling herself Batwoman at the time, I believe). But you know what Stephanie Brown is? Willful. Determined. A girl that will never give up. She pulled herself up Gotham’s vigilante ladder by the barest edge of her fingernails, going from Spoiler, to Robin, and now damnit, she’s made it to the big times. She’s not anyone’s sidekick. She’s made the mantle of Batgirl her own, and she rocks at it. Her book is a consistently good seller, well written, beautifully drawn, and entertaining as hell. Can I let y’all in on a secret? I’m not looking forward to a new Babsgirl book, even though it’s being written by Gail Simone. That’s how much I love Steph in the role. But if this reboot continues as planned, I at least hope we get a Spoiler/Blackbat ongoing out of it.

The new Birds of Prey book looks like it may be good. Do I spy Thorn in the background? Haven’t seen her in a while.

Why is Batman Inc getting a reboot? It just started. What the everloving fuck.

But on the up side, Jason Todd, Roy Harper, and Kory are going to have their own Ginger Squad book. It’s called Red Hood and the Outlaws, but hey, fandom names are more fun.

For more information on the Reboot, visit the DC Comics homepage and read the articles on The Source. Bring tissues and Red rings.

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And so we enter the first week of the Flashpointpocalypse…

It’s a ridiculously Flashpoint-filled week. No, really. Four mini-series’ begin, plus the second issue of the main series is on the chopping block today. As for any major crossover event with multiple tie-ins, I enter skeptical and let the books impress me as I read. Do they deserve praise? Only time will tell.

The first mini, Batman: Knight of Vengeance, is kind of a dud. Thomas Wayne runs a casino, and apparently has the Penguin working for him. Oh, and he hates James Gordon, except the commish seems to know he’s Batman. I’m confused. This seems to be a world where Batman kills commonly (Ivy, Hush, Scarecrow, and now Killer Croc are shown to be dead), while carrying the guilt of his dead family around like a weight. So, dad is almost exactly like sonny boy, except for the whole ‘killing’ thing. I see. Whelp, the crazy tree grows strong in the Wayne family. Next!

Secret Seven is an arcana book featuring Shade the Changing Man and Enchantress. Uh, pass.

Sinestro, why do you have a crotch arrow? Whose idea was that in the costume design? Because it wasn’t the best idea. I can’t take you seriously now. Then again, the more things change…it seems Thaal and Abin Sur’s sister Arin were once an item in this universe, too. Perhaps that means Soranik Natu exists? That would be cool. Okay, so, different Corps exist in this world? I mean, the Black Lanterns obviously exist, the White Entity exists, Atrocitus is wearing a uniform of the Red Corps, Abin Sur’s ship was hit by some form of violet energy…but there’s no sign of the Blue or Indigo yet, and since Sinestro is still a Green…okay, this title intrigues me. I’ll pick it up.

So I was a little skeptical about the World of Flashpoint book- until I saw who it was going to be about. A book featuring Traci 13? Yes and more yes! I loved this book. Honestly loved it. It gave a more in-depth look to the way the world works in this new pecking order, and I couldn’t be more thrilled about that. And then there’s my girl herself. Traci 13 has been a character I’ve adored since she ran around with an iguana calling herself Girl 13 in Action Comics. My love for her strengthened through the Blue Beetle series, and her involvement in the Coven second feature in Teen Titans only confirmed my adoration. She’s an incredible character, this was an interesting first issue, and I’m going to shut up now before my gushing gets annoying. Actually, wait. So, Adeline Kane is alive in this world?! And Slade is too…what about Grant, Joey, and Rose? Where are they? Now I’m done.

Annd Slade is a pirate. Well, this is getting off to a classy start. So this issue is about Barry trying to convince Batman that the world they live in is wrong, which he does, and then try to get his speed back…which he does not. Sorry, but I’m not seeing anything good about this book so far, though the design sketches by Andy Kubert were pretty cool.

Weird Worlds is a prelude to a new ongoing. Fantastic.

I’m not too big a person to admit that the Static Shock Special made me cry. I watched every episode of the Static Shock cartoon, and I have a good chunk of the Static comics, as well as the trade of Rebirth of the Cool. He was an intelligent character that kept me interested in his book and made me laugh, what more could I ask for, right? I have very little right to talk about how Dwayne McDuffie influenced me as a writer, even though he did, because at the time of his death, I refused to accept that he was gone. He was an amazing writer, and an amazing person, not afraid to push boundaries or compromise his integrity. He created amazing things, both characters and team lineups, and crafted stories that made you give a damn. He was an amazing man, is an amazing man, and he will be missed.

Grava annoys me. I usually like the Academy stories, to a degree, but Comet Queen is just…irritating. Ah well, I think next month we’re going to learn more about Glorinth, so that’s nice.

Okay, is it just me, or did Kon and Simon stumble into Limbo Town? Because the zombie farm workers (Grundymen), the witchcraft-based society (Sheeda)…c’mon now. I know I’m just a simple girl from the Blue Rafters, but even I can make a damn connection.

Secret Six is one of those titles that I can’t not like. The hell storyline was disturbing, yes, but it was still quality. And now the aftermath. Liana is safe and Knockout is out of hell, so whom will Scandal choose? Or is this going to turn into an amazing threesome the likes of which DC has never seen? And then there’s Bane’s new girlfriend. Wherever they live has some amazing strippers, if they’re just willing to accept that their mates of choice fucking kill people every now and then.

That was this week in comics, and I actually enjoyed quite a bit of it. Not all of it, no, not with so much Flashpoint invading my senses, but maybe half of it. I’ll see y’all next week.

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