Waiter! There’s a Marvel in my DC!

Nine books this week! To be honest, I’d assumed it was only eight, but that was because I’d only checked the DC website. However, I was thrown a happy curveball when I got to the comic shop and, lo and behold! Children’s Crusade! Now before I start anything else, let me just say that the books out this week have a 60% chance of making me rage. That’s a pretty high chance of rage, you guys. Let’s hope I do not need my red ring.

Wow. Birds of Prey was really, really…bad. The art was pretty, but just like with Justice League, pretty art doth not a good book make. The story is weak as well; Black Canary is wanted for murder, so she and her friend are putting together a team…for some reason. Seriously, what’s the motivation behind that? This is the worst start to a series, honestly.

Man, we go from worst to best in the blink of an eye! Nightwing was awesome. It doesn’t seem to tie into the new DCU, because it distinctly references Bruce Wayne’s death and Dick being Batman. Since leaving the mantle of the Bat behind, Dick has once again taken up his old Nightwing identity, and moved into his own apartment. I do hope that Tim and Damian guest star in future issues, just because they have such great chemistry as characters and brothers. But meanwhile, in this first issue…uh oh, I sense a time traveler plot. Nameless villain of the first arc says that Dick Grayson is a murderer, but that he isn’t aware of it. Yeah, that kinda screams time travel. Ah well, the rest of the issue was good.

And right back to rage. What the fuck was up with Catwoman? This book was utter shit! The art was next to terrible, the writing was, well, it was Judd Winick. That’s really all I need to say. In this book, Selina Kyle is portrayed as a nymphomanic with a severe clothes allergy. Who happens to steal things. No, I’m not joking. I can’t even talk about this series any more. It’s just…terrible.

I have mixed feelings regarding Red Hood and the Outlaws. On one hand, it’s the orgy book. Kori has slept with both Jason and Roy. It’s also funny, with the opening 8 pages making me laugh out loud several times in a row. The art is also gorgeous, so that’s a big positive factor for me. But on the other hand, Kori’s personality has done a complete 180, the latter half of the book where the plot comes in is totally confusing, and while it references that Jason used to work for Batman, it also hints that he had a whole other life with something called the ‘All Caste’. This is definitely a book I’m going to keep reading, if only because I want to know what the heck is going on.

I’m not sure how to feel about Legion of Superheroes. While Legion Lost has a definite DCnU feel to it, LoSH feels like business as usual. And business…isn’t all that great. I don’t know what it is about Paul Levitz’s Legion, but I just don’t like it all that much. I don’t have any complaints about this book, but I don’t really have anything to praise it for, either. It just exists.

You know what? I like Peter J. Tomasi. He writes a good space book. I’m happy to see him back on Green Lantern Corps, which looks like it’s going to be a Guy and John book now. This series is one that definitely doesn’t tie into the DCnU, as it references Hal not being a Green Lantern anymore, and I’m sort of glad about that. The first story arc seems to be a lot like business as usual; someone out there is killing Green Lanterns, Guy and John round up a posse to track down the killer, yatata yatata. Still, it has good character interaction, and the art is alright. This book gets a pass, and it’s definitely one of the ones I’m keeping.

Supergirl feels like it’s going to be one of those ‘fish out of water’ books. She’s just woken up on Earth, with no memory of Krypton’s final hours, and she’s going nuts with her new powers setting in. She even thinks to herself that what’s happening has to be a dream. It’s pretty obvious that this isn’t the Kara Zor-El that we know and love, but that’s okay. This is a time of rebirth and renewal and, just like with Superboy, I’m willing to give this a chance.

Children’s Crusade is one of those books that I’m willing to wait for, it’s that good. Last time, Wanda not only got her memory back, but her reality-altering powers. With them, she restored Rictor’s mutant abilities, and this issue, she’s offering to do so to anyone who wants them. Only one problem, though. Scott Summers is being an impossible douche. Seriously, Scott. When someone offers to just go with you, and that someone has reality-altering powers that could erase you from existence and only wants to use them for good before you lock her away, you let her do whatever the fuck she wants. Did Scott do this? Nope. Instead, he fired on Magneto, which caused all hell to break loose and a big fight scene to happen. Wanda, for her part, decides to gather up her kids and their friends, the only people not trying to get her to go anywhere, and take them to Latveria. And then exposition and flashbacks happen, revealing how Doom was the one to give Wanda the Life Force power which is the root of her reality-altering powers. But then this happens: When joining together in a magic triangle to give all the mutants back their powers, Wanda accidentally transfers the power of the Life Force to Doom, whose first use of it is…to make himself hot again. Way to really stretch the imagination there, Doom. I want to see how this turns out, so hopefully, the next issue isn’t more than two months away.

I was really, really worried about Blue Beetle. According to interviews, Jaime is going to have to hide his activities as the Blue Beetle from his family, while his openness with his friends and family was one of the things I loved about his old series. But…you know what? This first issue isn’t bad. It has Paco and Brenda being Paco and Brenda, Brenda’s aunt is still La Dama, and Jaime’s parents still seem to have the same personalities. On the not so great side, however, Jaime’s personality is a bit more angsty-teenagerish, the Scarab is immediately revealed to be alien technology, and then there’s the little fact that Dan Garrett and Ted Kord do not seem to exist. The Scarab is said to have passed through many hands, but so far, neither former Blue Beetle looks like he was on that particular list of names. I’m not going to panic yet though. With the ending of the first issue the way it was, who knows how the next is going to play out?

And on that disgustingly undecided note, I’m going to bid you all adieu. For you see, I also picked up my copy of New Teen Titans: Games this week, and I plan to rub it all over my body before I read. You know, get my scent on it so that it’s publisher won’t take it back. See you all next week.

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