Talk about going out with a bang!

It’s the last week of the month, week 52, if you will, and what a week it is! New Flash, Teen Titans, and the next-to-final issue of Avengers: Children’s Crusade. I’m ready, are you?

Green Lantern: New Guardians is actually hilarious. It isn’t so bad it’s good, it isn’t so bad it’s terrible, either. It’s just…hilarious. Larfleeze smacking around the Guardians, Ganthet trying to talk to Kyle but getting ring-slapped for his trouble, the visage of Sinestro growing Arkillo’s tongue back, and then the solar system-sized space ship…Tony Bedard, whatever drugs you’re on, keep doing them. But, because I am a clean-living young lady, I think I’m going to make this series and in-store only book for a while.

You ever sit there reading a comic, and when you get to the end, you put it down and go, “I don’t understand!” Well, I don’t get it. Madame Xanadu is on anti-psychotics? June Moone is the bright half to Enchantress’ darkness? Who is this guy Shade is trying to recruit? I’m just so darn confused by Justice League Dark, I feel like I should go research all of the characters involved, then read the issue again. Too bad I won’t actually be buying this issue. JLD, you’re going to be an in-store series from now on.

Kick-Ass 2 is not supposed to be this entertaining. It’s just…how do I put this? This issue had extreme violence, murder, torture, little girls cursing, and more blood than is actually in the human body dripping off our main characters, and yet I still find it amusing. It’s the countdown final confrontation between Kick-Ass and…man, I’m just going to keep calling him Red Mist, because his villain name is idiotic. Allies are called in. The police are out of the picture. What’s on the line? Every living thing in Time’s Square. And…cliffhanger! Balls.

There was this rumor floating around about how they were planning on killing off Speed in The Children’s Crusade. Spoiler alert: It’s not true. Yet. Last issue, Doom was possessed by the Life Force, the thing that gave Wanda Maximoff her reality-altering powers. This issue, another Secret Wars, except it’s out in the open! Also, let me be one of the first to say that Billy’s speech? Officially better than Booster’s speech from Generation Lost. There is a good reason that kid is my favorite Young Avenger. Anyway, a lot happens in this issue. Scott is, surprise surprise, a gigantic dick, Doom is ridiculous, Iron Lad and Vision go claws-out again, oh, and Cassie may or may not have died. Who knows, they could be pulling a Jaime Reyes fakeout. Or, they could be pulling a Marvel. Only time, and the next issue in February, will tell.

Legion: Secret Origins is amazing. Fantastic, even. This issue seems to be the Old Trio/Brainiac 5/Tinya show, with a bit of the issue focusing on Brande himself. Also, first appearance of Reep Daggle and…reboot Lyle? Oh my god, Chris Batista, draw Lyle Norg forever. He’s just so…attractive. I can’t wait until the Legion finally comes together for the first time as teenagers, that’s gonna be so much fun. Oh yeah, and there was some kind of plot about other-dimensional warships or something. Frankly, the entire plot sounds like the story from the most recent Star Trek movie, so I just ignore it and look at all the pretty art and character interaction.

That’s just not fair, Teen Titans. The opening sequence, or at least the background of it, was just so…agh! Booster is on the big screen, and look who is lighting up a billboard right behind Superboy! Foreshadowing a Luthor connection, or just Brett Booth fucking with us? This was, by far and wide, my favorite issue of Teen Titans, any version of Teen Titans, in a long time. It has everything! Miguel is adorable, and has declared that he and Kiran are going to be “best friends forever!” Bart is…Bart. No, really. For the first time since the reboot began, I’m absolutely sure that this is Bart Allen. The Speed Force couldn’t stand the thought of a universe with only one speedster in it, so it spat Bart back out, but erased his memory of all past time lines. Though, it may have mushed some Wally into him, because those eyes are all Wally. Or, possibly, he’s wearing contacts to look less unique. But enough about Bart. Oh, wait, not yet. I think Lobdell is specifically playing up the Red Robin/Kid Flash bromance for Young Justice fans, despite them being a different Robin and Kid Flash. Because their banter? So cute. It reminds me a bit of how Bart and Kon used to interact in the first Young Justice series. Okay, done with Bart. The Cassie/Superboy fight was actually pretty schway. It reestablished Cassie as one of DC’s powerhouses, showing that she can hold her own against Superboy, and possibly even stand a chance of winning. I like Cassie, as a character. As a warrior. Not as someone’s girlfriend or general love interest. She’s better than that and we, as fans, deserve her to be treated better than that. Still, Lobdell couldn’t help but throw some WG/SB dialogue in for the shippers to pounce on, but I’ll save my sighing and eye-rolling for another day, if it ever comes to anything. It took me a second to remember if I was forgetting anyone, and then I remembered Celine. It’s like, she’s trying so hard to establish herself as only defined by her mopeyness about her power, and I don’t like that. Skitter has the opportunity to be such a great character, and here’s how: If the Teen Titans expands and manages to find Miss Martian, Megan can talk to Celine while she’s in her arachnid form, maybe break down whatever mental wall that was keeping her unstable. With that done, we get a nice Dani Moonstar/Rahne Sinclair-esque mental bonding friendship, another girl on the team, and one less mopey girl. Look, Scott. I just wrote an issue for you. Chop to it. One last thing before I go on to the next book. Bart, you are a precious flower. But if you destroy Tim’s One Year Later costume like you destroyed his sweatshirt, there is a pretty good chance he’ll kick you off the team.

Shivers and ugly crying everywhere, that’s my personal reaction to this month’s issue of the Flash. There was barely any Barry in this issue, because this wasn’t a Barry issue. This was about Manuel Lago, this was about Mob Rule. Where he came from was already explained, but why he chose to go there was laid out today. Manuel’s father died in a plane-jacking by Basilisk (you know, the terrorist organization from Suicide Squad), and he joined the CIA to track down the people responsible. A good, old-fashioned vendetta. Unfortunately, they caught him and, upon discovering that he had regenerative abilities, decided to torture him in the best way possible. From the bits removed, grew Mob Rule. I liked how Manapul showed us just how Barry fit into Manuel’s life, and how good friends they were before the series began. Barry was there for him at his father’s funeral. Manuel went to Barry after he was presumed dead, to let his best friend know he was still alive before he alerted his own family. One of the Mob Rule clones put it best; the boys definitely have a bromance going. I wouldn’t mind to see Manuel continue to appear in this comic, he would make an excellent edition to Barry’s supporting cast. And where was Barry for most of this issue, you may ask? Knocked out by a bullet, but still alive. His little inner-monologue about how he should stop thinking so much about every possibility and just go with the one that seems right was pretty sweet, and that ending splash page? So many shivers all up and down my body. The Flash is continuing to be an amazing series, and I’m so pleased about that. I’ve never been ashamed to call myself a Flash fan, not even when Flash: Fastest Man Alive was the only Flash series out, or during Geoff Johns’ Barry series, but now? Now I’m proud to call myself a Barry Allen fan. Francis Manapul, you sir have made a convert out of me.

Well, that’s this year in comics! Next time we meet, it’ll be 2012, how about that? I hope all of you had a fantastic Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, and/or Festivus, and will soon have a wonderful New Years!

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