This week: Space butts!

Fairly small week, but this is a good thing, for me. For you see, it’s pretty darn cold out, and I have to ride my bike home later. So let’s get started!

Still not very fond of Huntress, except for the art. Marcus To could draw tentacle porn and I’d read it, and hate myself about the same amount. I just don’t like Paul Levitz all that much, okay. Not a fan.

Why is Red Lanterns so awful this month? I’m going to blame it entirely on Ed Benes’ fascination with Bleez’s ass. Not including the cover, he draws a close-up shot of her ass seven times over the course of the issue. That’s a lot of ass. Between Bleez’s booty and Atrocitus’ big boner for Krona, there is very little moving the story forward. Though we finally hear the rest of Skallox and Ratchet’s stories, which is nice. The only real saving grace, honestly, were the final couple of pages, where we see a red ring choose a denizen of Earth…a human, no less. While I liked having Dex-Starr as Earth’s Red Lantern, this repressed nerd, John Moore, has certainly caught my eye. He has not, however, caught my wallet. Until Ed ‘breasts and butts’ Benes cleans up his act, this book is in-store only.

I hate Godiva. No, really. I seriously hate Godiva. Nix her, bring in Jaime, and this will officially be a better book. JLI is my ‘everyone should just stand around and talk to each other’ comic. The first arc, or at least the first five issues of the first arc, have seemed a bit lazy. Rushed at some points, dragged out at others, but keeping in the overall theme of not being very good. Still, the banter between August General in Iron and Rocket Red, the pre-existing friendship between Fire and Ice (not to mention the pre-existing romantic relationship between Guy and Ice), and Booster’s general excellentness keeps me coming back.

I’ve heard that Static Shock is supposedly one of DC’s lowest-selling books, and from an outsider’s point of view, I can see why. If you’ve never read anything from his Milestone series, or Rebirth of the Cool, or Terror Titans, or his issues of Teen Titans, or seen his show, then what the heck are you even doing picking up this title? But somehow, I find it highly unlikely that, if you’d been reading comics or watching cartoons prior to the DC reboot, you somehow managed to miss out on Static. His return to mainstream comics in Terror Titans was one of the most talked about things at my LCS the week that issue came out. Static is an amazing hero, and Virgil and his family are incredibly interesting characters. The most recent issue of Static Shock deals with Piranha’s crew kidnapping one of the Sharons, and Virgil going out to hunt them down. Static’s interaction with the villains, as well as his ongoing inner-monologue, is really what makes this issue work. If you haven’t been reading Static Shock, now might be a good time to start.

Now normally, I sort of hate fakeout endings. They get me all worried over nothing, or over something that is resolved the next issue. But thank Kord Jeff Lemire didn’t actually pull a Morrison and off Animal Man’s son. I don’t want to see any dead kids just yet. Actually, I don’t want to see any dead kids ever, but DC hates fully functional families, so there you go. Still, Maxine is their tiniest badass, and Ellen and Cliff are equally awesome. Wait until you see what happens to the third hunter, holy shit. It’s just fantastic. Can I make a quick confession? I don’t care about Swamp Thing at all. I’ve never made an effort to read his series, his return at the end of Brightest Day did nothing for me, I just do not care about him. I can’t find it within myself. But I’d better start caring, because it looks like he’s going to be in Animal Man soon.

That’s this week in comics! Now if no one minds, there’s a big plate of curry waiting for me at home, and I intend to get there before it cools off. See you all next week!

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