Buddy Baker, this is a movie that sort of mirrors your life except it doesn’t!

Four books? Really? That’s it? Ahh, I feel sad. Shall we begin?

Let’s go through Red Lanterns and count how many times Bleez’s ass is a prominent feature of the panel she’s in. For an issue where she barely shows up at all, she still manages to show off her tail four times. This particular issue is about the first human Red Lantern, Jack Moore. Notice how I said human, not Earthling. Because the first Red Lantern from Earth was Dex-Starr, who hasn’t shown up since the first issue of this series. In any case, Milligan is trying to make this Jack Moore guy as someone who can keep his wits about him, because he has been suppressing and controlling his rage since he was a kid. I don’t buy it. Either make the Red Lanterns mindless hate machines, or throw them in the blood ocean, restoring their minds. You keep your Mega-Lantern away from me, y’hear?

I do like it when super-teams take a cooldown issue between crisis’s, but only when it’s done right. JLI did it right. There was team interaction (Guy, Tora, and Gavril cleaning up the world-ripper together), personal interaction between characters (Batman and Booster taking down the guys that blew up the Hall of Justice, Dora and Zhifu having a hot dog and taking down some bombers of their own), and it ended on a bang…literally! Though I did take issue with Batman’s “You are so a good leader, man” speech to Booster. He was a quarterback in the future, so of course that qualifies him to lead a superteam in the past. Okay. Right.

I still don’t understand why they’re cancelling Static. It’s a great book, even if it does have its moments of…complete insanity. The two Sharons arc came to an end this month with a little help from Hardware and someone I don’t actually know named Technique. As it turns out, one of Piranha’s ‘freaks’ was actually a second Static in disguise, and…okay, I’m just going to admit it. I have no idea what’s going on. What happened? I don’t know. I’m confused. I want to love this book, because I love Static. But I just…I have no idea what’s going on. Various noises and images and insanity, really. But I’m going to see this through to the very near end, because I love you, Virgil Hawkins. You are my hero.

Oh, this is interesting. So the majority of this issue of Animal Man is actually a movie Cliff is watching, starring his dad. It’s the story of a man who used to be a street hero, but as he got older, he just descended into alcoholism. It’s an interesting story. The end of the issue jumps back into the story with the Baker family running from the Rot, still on their mission to locate Swamp Thing. That particular story will be picking up next month, and I can’t wait.

Wow, that’s it. That’s this week in comics, for me. I’m…disappointed. Hm. I guess I’ll go see a movie or something. See y’all next week!


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