Night of the (yawn)…no, let’s focus on Minutemen instead

Once again, my comic shop was shorted copies of The Shade. Sigh, I just can’t catch a break with that title. So instead, I’ve decided to review the first issue of Marceline and the Scream Queens, a spin-off from the popular animated series-slash-comic book, Adventure Time. Shall we begin?

Read this new Adventure Time book and tell me that Marceline and Bubblegum aren’t girlfriends. You tell that to me, and I shall say to thee, nay. All shipping aside, it’s actually a decent comic. The main plot is that Marceline and her band, the Scream Queens, are going on tour, with Bubblegum coming along as tour manager. No hijinks have been had yet, except that the normally-uptight Princess has fallen hard for rock and roll, which is amusing in itself. Altogether, a good read. I’d even recommend it to people who aren’t already fans of the show.

I’m constantly blown away by the quality of the work of Darwyn Cooke. I’m forever the first to jump up and applaud his amazing art, but I always seem to forget just what a prolific writer he is as well. Which is stupid, really. Cooke gave us new Spirit stories, and the incredible DC: New Frontier series, plus he’s the writer on the other Before Watchmen series I’ve become invested in, Silk Spectre. So, how did I jump into Minutemen completely unprepared for the amount of awesome that would be presented to me? For starters, hats off to Larry the manager for being a complete douchebag in everything he does. I mean, wow. “We’re not going to go after child trafficking rings because they’re not ‘happy’ crimes.” What. Still, that gives me an excuse to talk about how impressed I am with the portrayal of the Silhouette. In the original Watchmen, she’s ‘the lesbian’. That’s her role. She’s the member of the Minutemen that was murdered because of her sexuality. Here, she’s one of the true heroes. She’s not in it for publicity, but to do what’s right. She wants to save children from horrors inflicted upon them by adults, and I find that admirable. Oh! Speaking of characters and themes barely touched upon in the original Watchmen series, how about that Hooded Justice/Captain Metropolis sequence? While I found it sort of awkward to have it spliced between the sequence with Silhouette, Nite Owl, and Mothman going after a child kidnapper and a sequence about kidnapping featuring the creepiest damn nursery rhyme I’ve ever heard, their story itself was still…wow. Hopefully, Cooke will fully capture, not simply hint at, the perils of an unhealthy relationship that one partner finds himself unwilling to leave. Because Captain M? He doesn’t seem like he digs bondage very much. Not to mention a prior panel where it’s made pretty clear that Hooded Justice talks down to him. Though the sequence before that, where Larry basically tells HJ that he’s going to have Sally as a beard whether he likes it or not, was pretty powerful. It really shows that this book takes place in a time where you couldn’t be out and have authority, that you had to choose one or the other. I’m surprised I had this much in me to say about Minutemen #2, because after I first read it, I kept turning to my boyfriend and just going, “It’s so good. I didn’t think it was going to be this good. It’s so good.” Minutemen #2, everybody. It’s good.

Okay. Hold up. Backpedal. When last we left Superboy, he was on an island with Wonder Girl and the rest of the Teen Titans. How’d he get back to a city, and into a swanky new apartment? It’s called continuity, Lobdell. Please, try using it sometime. Anyway, back to the present. While I’m glad to see Miguel hanging out with Kon, I have a feeling it’s all going to end with a plot about him having a crush on Superboy over in Teen Titans. Just call it a gut feeling. I can sense terrible romantic choices a mile away. God, I hate this book so much. Superboy’s casual detachment from humanity is played for laughs, for fuck’s sake! Silly clone, he doesn’t know better than to not rob a bank. I can’t. I can’t, book. Oh, then there’s the tattooing sequence which, okay, at least it gives us an origin for Superboy’s tattoo that was on all of the promotional stuff for Teen Titans, but Bunker’s tattoo, which is supposed to be one of his psionic bricks, looks like a Pez. No, really. It looks like a piece of candy. Get a better tattoo artist, lads. One that actually gives you some proper tattoo covering before you leave, and doesn’t just let you walk out with the damn thing unwrapped. But onto the fight scene! This issue’s big bad is the robotic consciousness known as Detritus. Remember him from Teen Titans a while back? Well, he’s dead! No, seriously. After establishing that they had a similar backstory and could probably bond about it, Superboy punched their enemy so hard he shattered into a million pieces and fell in the river. Nice. I don’t know about all of you, but the writer change-up can’t come soon enough for me. I’m so sick of Superboy right now, I could vomit.

Here it is, folks. The finale to the Court of Owls mini-event. After last month’s reveal, I’m kind of stoked. Though, upon reading issue 10 of Batman, I find myself not knowing what to say. There’s a lot of exposition, mainly by the main claiming to be Thomas Wayne Junior, about how the Court found him, took him in, trained him up, and planned to set him on the world as the other Wayne heir. There’s a lot of hate in Thomas, and it’s all directed at his brother. But then…Thomas Wayne Jr died as a baby from the traumas of a premature birth and other defects caused by a car accident? So…who is the Owl man? See, this is the kind of thing I don’t like about Batman comics. Maybe I’m not smart enough to understand. But it seems to me that Bruce Wayne has certain…let’s call them personality quirks, that cause him to push away everyone and alienate himself until he needs the help. Then there’s his near-obsessive compulsive need to solve every mystery presented to him. Is Lincoln March actually his brother? Was Jarvis Pennyworth killed by the Court of Owls? Will any of this matter a year from now? I, I just don’t know. And worse, I don’t know if I care.

That was this week in comics! Apologies for this update technically being posted on Thursday, that pesky blossoming social life refuses to leave me be.

Hey, South Floridians! Are you going to Comic-Con? You are?! …asshole. You aren’t?! Me neither! You should go to Tate’s Comics this Saturday for Not At Comic-Con, a five hour event with free stuff, fun, frivolity, and a trivia contest! Hope to see you there!

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