What’s red and yellow and awesome all over?

It’s the last Wednesday of the month! With only four books on the menu, as usual, I know I should feel sad. But I can’t be sad. Because it’s new Flash day. This is a big deal, for me. It’s one of the few books that produces next to no rage from me, and I won’t let the fact that Teen Titans also comes out this week spoil it for me.

On a completely different note, Green Lantern! It looks like the main character status will be switching from Sinestro to Hal, which means that my enjoyment of this book will soon be impacted. But for now, I’m going to let the good times roll. Black Lanterns are a thing again! Which means that the reboot didn’t affect Blackest Night or, I’m assuming, Brightest Day. Crisis on Infinite Earths never happened, but Rainbow Lanterns Go did. Take a minute to digest that. My bitching aside, it’s nice to see William Hand back in print. He’s one of those classically creepy as fuck characters who, under Geoff Johns’ pen, has evolved into a nightmare of humanity that literally makes my skin crawl. His goal for the duration of this story, if not his new mission in unlife, is to kill people. He is going to kill lots of people, reanimate them, and have them kill other people. That’s his whole thing. Well, good to know that his time wearing an Indigo ring did absolutely nothing to impact his personality, which is the entire reason the rings exist in the first place.

Okay, before I say anything else, weren’t these guys on an island? Where is the island? A Bart solo story will be taking place on the island in DC Universe Presents next month, you’d think they’d still be on the damn island. Oh wait, no, Danny the Street transported them back home last issue in an act that was so completely last minute, I forgot it even happened. Sigh. Anyway, this time on Teen Titans, complete fucking insanity. No, I’m serious. Bart, Miguel, and Kiran fight a new potential teammate Miguel picked up on ‘Gregslist’ (one guess as to what that is parodying), Cassie’s evil ex is honing in on her armor, Kiran and Bart are ‘just friends’ in love, and Cassie’s armor is freaking out, causing her to lose control on it and go evil. There. That’s the entire issue in a sentence. I don’t know if I can do this anymore. I know I’ve likened Teen Titans to an abusive partner before, but this is getting ridiculous. It’s wounding me on a spiritual level, now. I don’t know how much more of this I can take.

A little history for you. Kid Eternity, in his original incarnation, was a child who had died 75 years too early. So, he was returned to life as an agent of Chaos and given the power to bring back dead people, who helped him fight bullies and stuff that a kid would use the ghosts of famous people for. His next incarnation, a Vertigo series, had the Kid using his powers to locate the next Dalai Lama. The most recent version of Kid Eternity was cheated of his full potential, big time. He still had the power to bring back the dead, but this time, he became them for only a few minutes at a time. He was also eventually murdered by the Calculator, who used him and his power to bring back his son, Marvin. Another thing, Kid’s real name was Kit, short for Christopher Freeman, and he was the long lost brother of Freddy Freeman, aka Captain Marvel Junior. With the way Freddy is in the reboot, I really don’t think I want to see them interact. But to the story!
The reboot version of Kid Eternity isn’t much of a kid at all…in fact, he’s 27, and he works as a police coroner. He and his father were both shot in a drive-by, but Chris came back, and now he has the power to bring back the recently deceased to try and solve their murders. An interesting origin to start with, and certainly a lot cooler than a guy who runs around bringing back dead superheroes and fighting crime. Our story follows an ordinary day in the life of Christopher, as he solves the murder of an antique shop owner. I’m not going to ruin the mystery for you if you haven’t read it, because the story is really quite good. And why wouldn’t it be? It’s penned by Jeff Lemire, after all! Sorry, I’ve had a ridiculous respect for this man ever since I first read Sweet Tooth, and his work with Animal Man hasn’t helped my hero worship boner at all. Cully Hamner and Derec Donovan are on the art. You may remember Hamner from the latter half of the 06 Blue Beetle series, and The Question: Pipeline, as well as a few issues of the recent Shade series. Derec Donovan’s most notable DC storyline, to my knowledge, was Connor Hawke: Dragon’s Blood. Either way, they’re great artists working with an amazing writer. The National Comics initiative is going to feature one new character a month, and while this is the first we’ve seen of Eternity, I’m crossing my fingers that it isn’t going to be the last.

I’m going to admit this right off the bat: While I’m not crazy about Mick Rory’s costume change and new powers, I never actually cared enough about him in the first place to be extremely mad about it. Not that Heatwave is my least favorite Rogue, that honor goes to Girder, he’s just never been that high on my priority scale. To the issue! One thing that was never really addressed in Wally’s series, that I can remember, was where the criminal element hung out. Keystone City had its share of Rogues, but it also seemed like a generally clean place full of hard-working people. In this issue, however, we’re introduced to the rougher side of the city, ‘the Keys’, which is supposedly as bad a place to live as Crime Alley in Gotham. Well, at least we’re still keeping to the trend of having all of our criminals in one basket. Another thing that seems to be a holdover from the past, Len is terrible with women. I mean, wow. That pick up line? I love Captain Cold, and even I would have slapped him. A break in the story to check in on Patty, David, and Dr. Elias. Patty and David, you guys should be friends. I mean, you’re dealing with similar things. Patty believes the man she loves to be dead, and the man David loves has gone back to being a vigilante, against his wishes. Oh gosh, please don’t let them have broken up over this, that would be really tragic. Can I take a second to say that Marcus To should draw David forever? Because my god, even in the throes of anger and quiet heartbreak, that is one beautiful man. Dr. Elias, however, is turning into a bit of a scumbag. Invented a new energy source, huh? How about you tell the people where that sudden spark of brilliance came from? Were you quick to find it? Did it come to you in a flash? What I’m trying to say here is, stop being a douche and blaming things on the Flash, when it was his power that actually solved all your problems to begin with. You folks remember from last issue, how Barry decided that he was going to stay dead? Well, he’s going by Al now, and he’s the newest bartender at a villain hotspot called the Keystone Saloon, which looks like it’s the oldest bar in the damn country. Oh my. Marcus To, you also have my permission to draw Len forever, too. Pfft, oh lord. For those of you who haven’t been keeping up with terrible literature, there’s this new mom porn book that’s been going around called 50 Shades of Grey. Len likes alluding to shades of gray in the world of vigilantism and villainy, as seen here:


And now, here:



(Flash fact: I went to Tumblr hoping to find a scan of that panel in the Len Snart tag, and it was literally at the top of my Dashboard. The Rogues fandom is the best fandom.)

Anyway, shortly after Barry has the main bartender in charge fix Len a drink that won’t freeze up on him (complete with a pink umbrella, naturally), all hell breaks loose in the form of Mick. Heh. I like how Manapul took a page from the fans and had Barry call the fight between Len and Mick a ‘domestic dispute’. Because they’re like an old married couple, get it?! Sorry, I’ll take the bad jokes and puns and just…no, I’m not going to go anywhere. Puns are half of the reason why the Rogues are so dear to my heart. Hell, Mick started the issue off with a pun! Anyway, one fight scene full of vague exposition later, Barry has decided to keep his bartender gig, and our boys are being hauled away in a paddywagon. Argue argue, snipe snipe…Lisa?! Damn, girl! I’m going to be honest again, I’ve never been fond of Lisa’s old costume. This new one reminds me of a combination of Marvel costumes, truthfully; 80s Dazzler, Wind Dancer from the New Xmen, and Emma Frost, when she puts on clothes. An odd combination, but I do like it. And boy oh boy can the next issue not come soon enough! I’ve been dying to learn how Lisa got her new powers since images of her in her new costume were leaked.

Well, that was this week in comics! I’m thoroughly pleased with everything I’ve read, how about you? As always, I’d really love to hear your personal opinions about the books you picked up. Didn’t read something that was reviewed here? Tell me about it! I’m always looking for new books! As with every week, I am Touch of Grey. Hope to see you back here next Wednesday!


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