Disemboweler? I hardly know her!

I’ve decided to drop Superboy entirely. It’s mind-numbing drivel with a bad case of crossover syndrome, and I just can’t take it anymore. That being said, we’ve only got three books to cover today, but boy oh boy.

Let’s start off with the Wonder Woman Ame-Comi one-shot. If you’re like me, then you’ve noticed the DC Ame-Comi figures that your LCS is bound to stock. There are dozens of different ladies in skimpier than usual outfits, with a ridiculous price tag attached. I’ve only ever been tempted by the Jesse Quick figure, to be honest, but the line seems to be popular enough to have spawned its own comic series, with the first victim, er, feature being based on our own Wonder Woman. It’s the standard story of Diana coming to Man’s World, but she seems to be a bit more, hm. Bloodthirsty? I guess that’s a good word for her. But forget the throwaway plot and check out that art! Amanda Connor hasn’t been getting enough work lately. She’s currently the artist on the Silk Spectre mini, and she did the cover to the first issue of Phantom Lady, but that is just not enough. The Queen of Cheesecake needs more exposure, and hopefully the sweaty fanboys that make up 80% of the Ame-Comi fandom (who also happen to be DC’s main pandering demographic), will give it to her.

Oh my glob, Marceline and the Scream Queens is so great! This issue, the Scream Queens take on the underwater kingdom of Sound City, and Princess Bubblegum helps Marceline out of her reporter-induced funk. Also, the shipping is strong with this issue, if Marce’s jealousy over Peebles hanging out with Guy is any indication. I’ve got to say, Kaboom Studios really hit it out of the park when they decided to do a Marceline spinoff, it’s one of my favorite comics running.

Oh what a SPOILER this review of Batman #13 will be!

Unholy son of the six hundred and sixty-fifth son.
I’m practically outspoken when it comes to my dislike of the Joker. He’s never been a particularly compelling character to me, and I find the devotion of some of his fans to be incredibly disturbing. It’s like being a fan of a serial killer which, hey, actually. That’s exactly what being a Joker fan is, at least for the last 25 years or so. He’s a murderer. Silver Age Joker at least tried to be funny, but Bronze-to-Modern Age Joker? All about the number of bodies. I know Joker is supposed to be the mirror opposite to Batman, the madness to Batman’s unshakable sanity, but bullshit. No one puts on a Bat suit and fights crime without being slightly unhinged themselves.

The issue’s focus is mostly on Batman, James Gordon, and the Joker himself, with a minor focus on Harley Quinn.
Commissioner Gordon and Batman are Joker’s two favorite ‘playmates’, the people he longs to unhinge the most. If we’re going by old DCU canon, the Joker not only crippled Barbara Gordon, but killed James’ second wife, Sarah. There’s a reason that Jim Gordon is the second most revered man in the world of Batman, next to Alfred. He’s unwilling to break, but therein lies his weakness. Joker hopes to destroy Jim by killing or damaging the people around him. He has no wish to kill Jim, or at least he didn’t. Now, however, he came incredibly close to snapping Jim’s neck, the same as he did every other officer in the room.
He also made multiple threats against Barbara, which indicates that he knows she’s out of her wheelchair. The chair he’d hoped to stick her in for life. Some people, myself included, believe that the crippling of Barbara Gordon, and the way she proved to herself and the world that being in a chair didn’t mean she wasn’t just as useful as she’d been before, was the best thing to ever happen to the character. Oracle is, more than any other hero in the DCU, the one who would make the most difference in our world. We live in an internet age, and DC will be kicking themselves once they realize that they’re completely devoid of a character whose entire schtick is information-gathering, what with the Calculator and Proxy also lost in the reboot wave.
Batman. Batman Batman Batman. No, Joker knows who Batman is. I said in my review of the Red Hood and the Outlaws review that DCnU Batman knows who Batman is, but now it’s basically been proven. Why go after Alfred Pennyworth, otherwise? Joker knows that he can weaken the Dark Knight by stripping him of his most valuable resources, his family. That’s what this entire arc is about, why he came back in the first place. Joker plans to completely dismantle the Batfamily until Batman is the only one left standing…and he’s starting with the man who has been there for Bruce Wayne the longest. According to the list on the back of the issue, Joker is going to be targeting Dick Grayson, Selina Kyle, Barbara Gordon, Damian Wayne, Tim Drake, and Jason Todd. We’ve already seen that he plans to take out Alfred and Jim, two men that Bruce and Batman respectively depend on. The others on his hit list are the so-called “children of the Bat”, and the woman who, once upon a time, he loved. But…who is missing? Lucius Fox, for one, the driving force behind Wayne Enterprises. Talia al Ghul, the mother of Bruce’s only biological child. Zatanna Zatara, a former longtime friend and ally. Kate Kane, she who took up the mantle of Batwoman. David Zavimbe, the hand-picked-by-Bruce Batman of Africa, to name a few. But no, this crossover seems to be spanning only nine books, including two non-Bat books, so Tim and Harley can join in on the fun. Speaking of which.
You know what? I know exactly what it is I hate about the Joker. Underneath all the madness and facepaint, he’s just another white-trash wifebeater you find on Cops. He specifically targets women and children. Babs, Sarah Gordon, Jason Todd, not to mention that his entire relationship with Harley Quinn reads like a bad Lifetime movie. Because of Harley in particular, I side-eye any woman who proclaims to be crazy about the Joker. I side-eye the men even harder. Despite in the fairly recent Hunt for Harley Quinn arc in Suicide Squad, where Harley goes looking for her honey’s detached face, our girl just doesn’t seem to be that into him anymore. Maybe it’s the constant threats of physical harm, maybe it’s the fact that he has literally strapped his face back onto his head, but Miss Quinn seems to be waking up a bit. I really do hope so, for her sake.

That was this week in comics. I…need an Asprin or a stiff drink, because I just realized that I’m going to have to read and review five titles I’ve dropped and one title I was never reading in the first place several times between now and February. I’m Touch of Grey, and I hope to see you again next week.


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