Speedster week! Warm up your tissue boxes!

It’s the last week of June! Well, I’ve personally had no money this month. Between my parent’s anniversary, my mother’s birthday, my grandmother’s birthday, going up to see Matt, saving for Florida Supercon next weekend, and various living expenses, I’ve been Spider-Man broke. That being said, we’ve only got two comics to look at today. Yes, that’s right, the thrilling two-part conclusion to Batman Incorporated has been pushed forward again! Apparently, they’re planning on double shipping the issue in July. Woo.

Speedsters abound! Aside from appearing in Flash, Kid Flash also shows up in that toilet paper periodical, Teen Titans, and Flash himself finishes up his guest spot in Justice League Dark. Man, if Trinity War weren’t on the horizon, I think I’d have to start reading that book again. Jeff Lemire is truly a phenomenal writer. Anyway, this issue marked the first meeting between the only speedster the DCU has left. Now, I’m clinging tight to this theory that Scott Lobdell occasionally has conversations with competent writers, as he most likely talked to Brian Azzarello before making his creation, Lennox, Cassie’s reboot father. That being said, Francis Manapul, why. You wrote Lobdell’s Kid Flash perfectly, as though Bart’s dialogue was coming from the man himself. I’m tempted to believe that that’s exactly what happened. Lobdell’s Kid Flash is a travesty. It’s not Bart. That…thing is not Bart Allen. He’s got the personality of an irate wombat and, I’m sorry, but I thought Bart didn’t remember anything prior to waking up in a group home. Uccch. At least the art was stunning, as always. The two-page spread of them running across various landscapes was amazing, and their ‘fight’ in the Louvre was very Bart in the actions. I had such high hopes for Bart here; actual prayer may have been done to try and ensure that he wasn’t awful. Good thing I’m not religious.

It’s a bad day to have superspeed. I mean, it’s always a bad day to be a character in a Kieron Gillen comic, but I digress. So, has anyone wondered where Tommy’s been all this time? Working a boring factory job and partying, apparently. As for David Alleyne? Yeah, same. Tommy works at Hero Staffing (note to self: that’s an excellent name for a male strip club with a superhero theme) in the assembly area, while David does tech support. They’re friends. Sort of. (“We had noodles once and coffee once.” “See? Friends!”) And when someone robs their workplace in the middle of the night while dressed as Patriot, well…Image

 

 

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The hills are alive with the sound of speedster fans everywhere realizing that to love a super-fast person is to be in constant pain and misery. I’ll admit it, at this point, I’m more than a little please-sir-may-I-have-another when it comes to Gillen’s particular flavor of pain but hey, we all have our kinks. Ans what happened to David, you ask? Nothing. He refuses to put on not-Eli’s glove, so not-Eli vanishes. Trippy, if slightly unsatisfying.

I’m sorry that there wasn’t more to be said, but for the most part, the comics I picked up this week weren’t noteworthy. They were good, but nothing spun my hat. 

Hey, South Floridians! Florida Supercon is next weekend, read up on it here!

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