Archive for July, 2013

The Flashpoint Paradox: A dramatic review by someone who cares too much about the Flash

As an apology for never getting around to reviewing last week’s comics (they’ll be in tomorrow’s post, honest), I come bearing a peace offering:

A full, detailed review of The Flashpoint Paradox, released on video today!

Now, even though Flashpoint itself came out almost three years ago now, many things were changed in the jump to the small screen, so I’m invoking the magical honor system that is the SPOILER WARNING. If you’re planning on getting the movie yourself and do not wish to be spoiled, come back tomorrow for reviews of the Flash, Young Avengers, the Flash annual, the Animal Man annual, and the final issue of Batman Incorporated.

However, if you’re not planning on spending money on a movie made from one of DC’s worst major events in recent memory, read on. Read the rest of this entry »


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IOU one comic review

I’m sorry to inform you that there will be no comic review today.

My grandmother has been in the hospital for the past four days, and had her gallbladder removed yesterday. She’s reacting oddly to the medications the doctors have put her on, too. I spent about 8 hours at the hospital today, and am in no shape to crack open the books I bought earlier.

Tune in tomorrow for reviews of Flash and Young Avengers.

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Support your supporting characters!

I’m not going to lie, I was a bad girl this evening. Yesterday, the new DC animated movie Flashpoint Paradox was leaked onto the internet. Today, I finally made up my mind whether or not to watch it early. My thoughts on it, directly following my viewing of it: “Oh my god, I am so going to own this movie when it comes out. I’m going to put it in a deep frame and write on the glass, ‘break in case of joy’.”

The movie itself was…well, it didn’t even ring true to the amazing failure of a story that was the Flashpoint comic, and frankly, my favorite bits were the parts that were added in for the movie. It’s a good waste of 90 minutes, if you’re not a hardcore Flash fan. Because when you are…the clusterfuck of character timeline inconsistencies in the opening twelve minutes was enough to send me into minor fits of rage. Just saying. Anyway, onward to this week’s comics!

You know, I’m going to count it. If Animal Man keeps coming out in the third week of the month, it can still be considered a ladies week comic, as it has been focusing pretty heavily on Maxine in the last couple of issues. Good. Frankly, I like her best. The innocence of a child coupled with the instincts of a hero and the powers of a god? Yes, please. This month we see Animal Girl’s first real failure, as she finds that she is unable to bring her brother back to life with just a body, she needs his spiritual essence as well. Oh, and her dad fights these animal men monsters who work for Brother Blood. That’s also a thing that happens.

I was beginning to feel like the writers on Supergirl were having a bit too much fun playing up the ‘lost girl from another world is confused about everything and blindly trusts those who offer her a way home’ angle, so it’s good to see that she’s learning. “When am I going to learn? Boys offering Krypton are not to be trusted.” H’El used her…something, I wasn’t exactly following that storyline, Cyborg Superman was using her memories. Next time on Supergirl, Lex Luthor, masquerading as his own son with a head full of luscious red hair, offers to build her a time machine in exchange for some of her DNA. Shit, I’d actually read the hell out of that book. It’s not like DC is above reusing stories and themes from 1994 these days, am I right?

A moment of silence, as my very favorite New 52 character has died. Lennox, we hardly knew ye. But moving on, New Genesis, wowza. I’m not as intimately familiar with the New Gods as other people I know, so I don’t really have much to compare to/complain about. That being said, it’d be freaking fabulous if a friendship founded on mutual respect were to form between Diana and Orion, as the one that previously existed between Diana and Clark is clearly not going to happen in this universe.

Hey, guess who’s Kate’s fighting this month? Trick question, this is a Bette issue! Ah, little Bette Kane, finally growing into her own. Not trying to copy her cousin, or her crush, fighting grown men as practice, planning her own extraction ops. Even though I’ve been reading about this character on an off for over a decade, it’s only now that she really feels like someone who could hold her own issue. Hawkfire isn’t the name of a supporting character, so the world better watch out.

Phew. I kind of feel like I last-minute-half-assed that. I hope not. Anyway! Trinity War continues this week, a new Batman and book came out, oh and if you’ve not been reading Batman Beyond Unlimited, you should start. There’s a new Batgirl in town, and she’s going to be taking exactly none of your shit. In other news, it’s just past 3 am and I felt my brain start shutting itself down half an hour ago. Goodnight, everyone. And to those of you reading this from a line at SDCC, get some sleep already!

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Smooching is banned.

Welcome back to the den of depression, the house of feels, the ToG Blog. Tell me, friend, do you spend an hour or more every Wednesday staring in horror at the pages of the comics you’ve bought? Have you ever felt personally victimized by a writer? Do you take to the internet to kvetch about things, only to be told to ‘lol gtfoi noob’? Welcome home, friend.

The fourth print issue of Li’l Gotham came out today, and oh my gosh. I’d forgotten how cute the St. Patrick’s Day issue had been. The Easter issue is also included, with a guest appearance by Colin Wilkes. I’ve had a little thought recently, about Li’l Gotham. Why not have a Li’l DCU book? Clearly, few people are happy about the New 52 universe as a whole, why not give them a cuter, more familiar universe to read about, instead? There’s a webcomic going on right now on Tumblr called JL8, and it’s quite popular. Surely a licensed DC comic in a similar vein would be just as popular?

Speaking of feeling personally victimized by a writer, Young Avengers came out today, and I’m pretty sure that Kieron Gillen hates happiness. Allow me to back up this statement with things. As you may already be aware, Gillen’s run on Journey into Mystery is sometimes called Journey into Misery by the fans. I’ve begun to take this moniker one step further by calling his Young Avengers run Journey into Misery 2: Electric Boogaloo. Why? Because the idea that Kid Loki planted in Teddy’s head several issues back about him being in love with Billy because Billy’s reality-warping powers created him to be in love with him is shaping into a major plot point. The kid’s seeing a therapist to try and deal with the idea in their downtime, for heaven’s sake. Prince of mischief my left tit, this is straight up malevolence. Moving on a bit, what has the gang been up to since they left New York? Why, chasing down non-Skrulls (and I don’t ever want Skifflefuffles to ever appear again, because it took me five tries to type that correctly from memory), of course! Luckily, they always go back to the same diner, so David Alleyne was able to find them and tell them about Tommy. I’m going to make it my mission to find and read that series that America Chavez showed up in before the next issue comes out, because I have no idea how the hell she’s able to open up portals into the multiverse. Before I bunk off for the night, though, I feel the need to share this page, which proves that Kieron Gillen has the power to make you laugh, as well as break your heart:


Hell yeah.

And that’s this week in comics! Avengers Arena ended with a twist, and the first issue of Trinity War came out this week

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And so it begins (Batman Inc #12 spoilers)

Welcome to the first week of July! If you’re reading this, and you live in America like I do, happy Independence day! If you’re outside America, carry on with your non-exploding day. As y’all may be aware, this is yet another five-Wednesday month, which means books are going to be spread a little thin. That being said, due to reasons, Batman Inc did not ship last week, but was available this week instead. The final issue will be shipping two weeks from now, because, once again, of reasons. Incidentally, Batman Inc was the only New 52 book I picked up today. I think you know what this means.

With this issue, we are one from done. Grant Morrison first took on the Dark Knight in his own title in 2006, and the near-decade of hell is almost over. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve enjoyed a great deal of Morrison’s run on the various Batman titles, but His Scottishness has turned cruel in his later years. I’m still not entirely convinced that he didn’t originally create Beryl to eventually become the Knight. So, what happened today? Oh, not much.

Batman just went completely bugfuck insane, pumped an entire army of bats full of the antidote to the Man-Bat serum and sicced them on Talia’s warriors while communicating with them in their own language, then beat the hell out of the Heretic. And while watching the complete and utter meltdown of a man who is supposed to have the finest tuned mind in the DCU is fun and all, my full enjoyment of this issue came at the hands of, surprise surprise, someone who isn’t Batman.

Specifically, someone who might be Kathy Kane.

Let’s look at the facts: Way, waaay back in The Leviathan Strikes, the St. Hadrian’s elite wear costumes similar to the original Batwoman suit, along with skull masks. Those same costumes have turned up again in the last two issues, only now the girls work for the Headmistress of Spyral. Given the amount of time between her ‘death’ and the present, this leads me to believe that Kathy has overtaken her dearly departed father (whose corpse was seen in the other story in The Leviathan Strikes), Agent 0, as the head of Spyral. Spyral is not working for, or with, Leviathan, as they’ve gone from being a spy agency to part of the international intelligence community. Plus, look at how Dick reacts to the shadowy figure he, for some reason, cannot seem to be able to see with his lenses down:



No, that’s totally Kathy Kane.

And to the people who don’t remember, yes, the Heretic totally killed the Knight a couple of issues back. Snapped his neck like he wasn’t in over a hundred pounds of armor. It was really tragic, and I was seriously mad for…actually, I’m still seriously mad. That Knight and Squire mini was one of the best things to come out that year. I own the single issues and the trade paperback. But he was killed by…by a big baby head.



Full-grown body, Damian’s little face. Not the creepiest thing Morrison’s ever done (that goes to the WE3 pets, or Professor Pyg), but it’s in the top five. Still, who cares if it’s an irredeemable sociopath with his son’s face (I feel like I’ve stolen that line from somewhere…), justice still needs to be served! Or not.


You know, it’s funny. Just like he’s constantly refusing to kill the Joker, even though it would make life better for everyone in Gotham, Batman refused to kill the Heretic. For a man fighting a war on crime, whose sole motivation in confronting Leviathan from the moment Damian dies? Bruce is seriously bad at revenge. I know he thinks it puts him on a higher moral ground than others, but really, he just looks like an asshole. Maybe it’s because I’m from a region where “He needed killing.” is a pretty justifiable defense when talking about a murderous scumbag, but really. He should have just let Beryl off the kid. Better than what would end up happening to him a page or so later.

(hint: it involves Talia and him not having a head anymore)

The issue ends with the destruction of Wayne Tower, as well as, presumably, many other areas in Gotham. Oh, and one of the coolest damn cliffhanger pages ever:



Talia, as it has been seen, is actually quite a formidable opponent. Add in the emotional ties between her and Bruce, and this is set to be one hell of a fight.

Well! I’m pumped! Yeah! Fight to the death, yeah! That’ll end well.

In any case, that’s my week in comics. The last issue of Fionna and Cake came out today (y’all may want to pick that up, it’s pretty cute), as well, just putting that out there. 

This Sunday I’ll be at Florida Supercon in Miami, looking through backissue bins and rubbing elbows with whoever decided to stay all four days! Tickets will be available at the show for $30 and up. The con itself starts tomorrow. See you there, SoFla comic fans!

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