Posts tagged Brightest Day

I have a lot of feelings about the JLI

Seven books this week, including the end of two excellent series. Oh, and Fail Train makes its final stop today. Shall we begin?

“I…I have this instinct, Jason. To burn the black.”
WHOA GEOFF. I just, I can’t even…the hell you say?! Okay, so, long story short, Swamp Thing is going to be the White Lantern, but in order for him to live again, Dove had to die, which is why Digger’s job was to kill her. Except it was Hawk’s job to catch the boomerang he would throw, which he failed. Because the White Energy knew that Boston and Dove would fall in love, and he’d throw himself in front of her, dying and becoming Deadman again, with a twist! Dove, apparently, can see and hear him. This…will make for interesting fandom conversations about their sex life. Aw, and Hawkgirl is officially dead too, it seems. She’s the wind, now. Oh, and John Constantine is back in the main DCU? Yesssss! Now let’s just hope he has some guest time in the Zatanna series.

Action Comics is back to being about Superman. My interest, it wanes.

Completely uninterested in Batman Inc. Next book.

And we’re back to War of the Green Lanterns! In this sixth part, John shoots things, Guy is an asshole, Kyle is adorable, and Hal is…boring. Can I just mention that Entity-infused Guardians is one of the creepiest things I’ve ever seen in a comic?

The fourth issue of Velocity marks the end of the mini that I’d assumed was supposed to be an ongoing. Ah, well. It was well-written, had a good number of twists, and I would sell my soul to own an actual page of Kenneth Rocafort’s amazing art. It was a good series, and I hope to pick it up if and when it comes out in trade.

Okay, not gonna lie. The last two pages, I was screaming inside. My horror at who the boy from the crime scene could have been was sort of overwhelming me. But everyone rest easy, it’s not Inertia. In other news, Bart is making a good effort at stealing the title of Emo Teen of the DCU away from Raven. He just has a lot of feelings, okay?! A speed intervention has never been so interesting, especially because it’s not related to drugs.

I just have a lot of feelings about the end of Generation Lost. For one, Max won. He’s got Checkmate. The world remembers him as he was, but he’s got Checkmate. Then there’s the fact that Nate has been flung somewhere in history. Where did he go? Will he be back? And then there’s the fact that Justice League International is going to be a series again. My heart literally jumped into my throat, and I got the hiccups. I was so excited, I got hiccups. I just…I really have a lot of feelings about this, you guys, and I don’t know how to put them all into words right now.

Well, that was this week in comics. I don’t know what I’m going to do now, probably just wander around in a haze for a little bit until my excitement at the prospect of a new JLI series wears off. Same time next week? Groovy. ToG out.

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Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful, hate me because I can erase you from existence.

Very small week, very small. Four books and- wait, what’s that, in the distance? Is it, could it be..? Avengers: The Children’s Crusade! Oh man! I’ve been reading up on this series since I found out it existed, but this is going to be my first time holding an issue in my hands. My excitement, I don’t think it has a level.

Oh fail train, why aren’t you over yet? Okay, so, basic premise of this issue: Party in Star City forest, undead folks only. And then…really? Really, DC? This is the big climax? Four newly-made elementals fighting a giant Black Lantern tree? And the Earth’s ultimate savior is Swamp Thing? Okay. This is me throwing in the towel. You win, Fail Train. I give up.

JSA: All-Stars really confused me this month. But then again, the two-issue arc is going to be about changing the time stream so…let’s just pretend it didn’t happen?

It’s official, Tanga is the only decent part of Weird Worlds. The Lobo short was just…strange. and Garbageman isn’t even worth reading. Maybe it’s my incredible love of Kevin Maguire talking, but the Tanga short is the best minifeature DC has put out in quite a while.

Aaah! I just made a joyful noise in the middle of the comic shop. Parademon! Hmm, and here I’d always thought of Ragdoll as merely insane, but soulless works too. Ooh, please tell me we’ll be getting back to the Liana-goes-to-straight-camp-by-way-of-kidnapping storyline! Please? One page. Okay. Screw you, plotlines. I’ve already gone on this rant, but my favorite character in this book, since I first saw him in Villains United, is Ragdoll. Or, he was. Honestly, I think Gail has been setting this up since the first Secret Six mini after VU, Six Degrees of Devastation, when she showed just how heartless Peter could be. And frankly, if that idea is factual, it just shows the patience and planning that this woman has. I’m not saying anything about the twist at the end of this issue, though, mainly because I sort of saw it coming.

I’d like to state for the record, Magneto jumping out of nowhere while screaming “DOOM” had me laughing so hard I actually fell over. As strange as it may sound, my brain sort of refused to hone in on anything but the funny parts. Such as Vision being a dick to Iron Lad, and Iron Lad being a dick right on back. “Technically, Vision and Scarlet Witch never actually divorced, so…” Hear that? That’s the sound of a fanfic being written. And it is a Wanda/Vision/Cassie/Nate fanfic. And no, I’m not writing it (yet). But yeah, time travel shenanigans, another issue of Billy and Teddy not kissing, pretty much the standard Young Avengers story, so far. Oh, but what’s this? Wanda’s back? Like, No-more-mutants back? God mode Wanda has made a return, remaining mutants run for cover! Next issue next issue next issue!

Aw, that’s the end of our week, poo. Ah well, nothing left to do but post this, then go check Tumblr. For the brave and open-minded, mine is Touchofgrey37. See you next week! Same time, same place, waaay bigger pull list. Peace out!

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Get my…blue ring?! What?

A medium sized week, but it doesn’t look disappointing. Then again, a new DC event, War of the Green Lanterns, begins this week with the first two parts being released simultaneously, so we’ll see. Shall we get down to it?

Not interested in the main story within Batman Inc this month, gimme some of that Kathy Kane. Now, as someone who has actually read some Kathy Kane/Batwoman stories (tacky colors, ugly mask, the friggin’ purse…), she was a joke. She was just a female counterpart to Batman that either a.) needed to be saved or b.) was a romantic plot device to drive the Dynamic Duo apart. But Grant, I’ve gotta say, you’ve done good work in making me want to respect this danger-loving, hell-raising reimagining. Now if we could just talk for a moment about Jason Todd…
Also, Dick is ridiculously adorable to the point of me exclaiming it out loud. I mean, really. This jealousy is just so…Silver Age, it’s laughable. Oh you little darling.

Ahh, and so the storyline from the Legion of Supervillians one-shot continues! I hope this means more Mekt. I just…love watching him screw up. Is that so wrong? I want to keep him in my glorious hall of idiots that can never win but look pretty forever. Speaking of, stuttery Brainy will never not be endearing to me. Thom and Nura are one of my original Legion OTPs, I’m glad to see them back in the same century again. Brin Londo is the definition of badass. The original man/beast hybrid type thing. Suck it, Wolverine (don’t actually suck it Wolverine, Rule #34 doesn’t need any more ideas). “I didn’t ask for this job, you know.” Uh, trying to say something, Mr. Levitz? I mean, I know about Mon-El being elected made you a mite bitchy becaus of how it would interrupt story flow, but c’mon. Brainiac 5’s superpower is being able to compliment you and insult you at the same time. He’s a quantum jerk and we love him for it. Oh look, the mysterious Professor Li is back! So, does this mean we finally get some background on her? Maybe? Please? Cliffhanger, okay. That works too.

War of the Green Lanterns begins in Green Lantern #64, and holy shit. It’s a giant Hal Jordan wank-fest. No, I’m just…I can’t. For starters, it’s a ship war. Hal/Carol, Hal/Sinestro, Hal/Parallax…all are represented here. And that last one is just freaky. “My precious Hal.” When the fucking living embodiment of fear thinks you’re just swell, you’ve got problems. I mean, real, serious, let’s-all-go-to-the-psychiatrist problems.

The second part in Green Lantern Corps isn’t much better. This time, it’s a Kyle Rayner I’m-going-to-whine-about-not-being-good-enough parade. Kid, you’ve saved the universe multiple times. You’ve saved the multiverse at least once. Cut yourself some fucking slack and if someone says you’re not good enough, bitch-slap them with a construct of your dick.

Alex is the Brainiac/Luthor clone. I’m throwing it out here first. That’s what the little freak is. Lex and Brainy1’s baby with a bit of Kryptonian DNA thrown in. Or he’s Match unrottified and given an upgrades. I mean, that’s what kind of vibe I’m getting here. There is no way this little bastard is human, just no way. Oh, and Damian is precious here. Just…this kid. I love how he’s somehow mastered Brainiac 5’s superpower from a thousand years away. Adorable little kitten.

OMACs. Why did it have to be OMACs?! Well, because it’s Max Lord killing Wonder Woman, doy. But in all honesty, this is the first issue of Generation Lost in which not only did I not ask for my red ring, I laughed. And covered my face. And called Gavril a precious baby cherub out loud in front of the Heroclix guys. Seriously, I love that guy. Give him his own series about having WACKY misadventures in America while Fire and Ice guest star constantly. Hell, make it a people of ethnicity series, lose the ‘I am a confused foreigner, what’s going on’ element, add in Jaime (our Lord and savior) and his family, and you’ll have a fun adventure book that makes people laugh. I would read this book religiously. But really, Gavril and Skeets are the stars of this book, don’t try to fool me. “Batman remembers Max Lord?” “Yes.” “Thank. You. God.” Y’know, for an athiest, Booster sure thanks that big imaginary friend he doesn’t believe in a lot.

I’m hungry. Why is it that that’s what I always end these posts with? But yeah, I’m hungry, no more books to read, and my computer is running out of juice. So I’m gonna go get some food, see you crazy kids here same time next week? Groovy.

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Teddy/Billy shippers, hold onto your shit

Somehow, I managed to wrangle myself ten books, and not all are from DC! One of these is a total surprise to me, mainly because I had no clue that a new Young Avengers mini was running, let alone it having a spinoff one-shot. I’m excited, but also sad. Because Knight and Squire ends today. Ah, well, let’s get to it, shall we?

As always, we start off with Fail Train. I just can’t get into Firestorm storylines. I have no attachment, no affection for the character. Except, apparently the White Lantern is very pleasant to them. Wait, what? What just happened? Heroic sacrifice from..? Okay, the White Lantern? Is a dick. Whatever happened to J’onn?! Is that storyline just…over? I demand the end of that story! No one cares about Firestorm!

The Flash in Superman is Barry, not Wally. Either way, pie is had. Moving on.

So Shrike is really…? Oh man, oh man. This was supposed to be a funny title, what happened here? Do they really have a naked hero called Birthday Girl? I mean, seriously? England, I love you. Never change. Oh my god. Squire, you’re amazing. Brilliant. Remember the truce magic at the pub from issue #1? Well, not even American villains are immune, it seems. You were a hoot and a half, Knight and Squire, I can only hope you’re given another mini, or better yet, an ongoing, soon as possible.

Ever read a comic that just causes you to sigh and shake your head? I haven’t seen any of the new Young Justice show since the third episode, and I’m okay with that. I don’t watch a lot of TV. But this comic is just…confusing to me. The entire other issue, both of them, really, was just a dreamlike state brought on by a G-Gnome that has a crush on Superboy? Well, okay. We’ll go with that. I think I’m going to try and catch up on the show before the next issue, just to be sure.

Adventure Comics as a Legion Academy book…I wasn’t sure how I felt about that before, but I guess I can roll with it well enough. This Hadru kid, I jut want to smack. Glorinth is about as naive as Teen Titans Go Starfire, with about as much power to make her dangerous. And Dragonwing…her look is seriously the only thing about her that I like. The rest of this particular arc seems like it’s going to revolve around Hadru and his genemod, and saving his family from baddies. Eh, I can keep reading, see what happens. Not particularly enthused, though.

Okay, so, this is a story set after Generation Lost? You couldn’t do a couple of stand-alone issues first, Judd? Because some of the dialogue and all of the events are kind of a gigantic spoiler alert. Though Superman initiating a conversation about Kara’s breasts is kind of funny, so you’ve got points for that. The pseudo-sexual dialogue between Kara and Nicco, however, made me squirm uncomfortably. Like, really uncomfortably. A man and a woman can interact without being realted and be friends, Judd. This has happened in the past, you know.

I’m going to be perfectly honest here. Marcus To, your art is ridiculously pretty. Anyway, to the story. This is the conclusion of that Uternet thing and in it, Tim fights the Madmen. Remember them? Psychos that fought Blue Beetle back in the day? Anyway, in the last Crisis, Darkseid got ahold of them and made them into living servers for the Uternet. And apparently, he also made them really…yeah. By the way, the cover with a bunch of men and two women throwing themselves at Tim has nothing to do with the story. It just exists to make people raise eyebrows. Ooh, but what’s this? The Uternet has been shut down…or has it? Lonnie can’t really exist in the real world, but in the Uternet, the coma patient is king.

If Marcus To’s art is too pretty, then Claude St. Aubin’s art is too sexy. I mean, he draws the absolute hottest Lobo to ever roam the hallowed halls of DC. Tony Tony Tony, why’d you have to go and change Lobo’s origin like that? Czarnians were supposed to be peaceful people, and the trait that made Lobo so different was how he was prone to violence. Ah, well. The fact that they all dressed like KISS rejects kinda makes up for the re-origining. Kinda. Man, I just had a thought that gave me chills. In this new origin, all Czarnians can regrow themselves from a single drop of blood. So…what happens when a female Czarnian goes through menstruation? Yoof. And with that thought, I’ll move along.

My first thought upon seeing the team shot in the Young Avengers Children’s Crusade one-shot: Where’s Billy? And Kate and…Tommy? Oh, the shippers are gonna shit. Anyone else pissed that we got to see Billy give Nate mouth-to-mouth before we get to see him kiss Teddy? That’s just kinda messed up. To me. This is a comic that I literally spent half the time leaning back away from the page I was reading. I’ve freaked over YA comics before, but goddamn. Now I need to find backissues of the Children’s Crusade issues before next month. I need to know what happens to my babies.

Twilight Guardian is a consistantly good book. I’m sad that it’s a mini, and that it’s an issue from over. This time around, the Guardian is going over comic samples of a comic based on her, that a publisher has been sending her. Frankly, each is more terrible than the last. Obviously, they’re trying to parody the Big Two’s take on comics, and I find that pretty amusing.

That’s this week. I’m as amazed by the early post as you guys are, honest. But I’m going to be hanging with a friend tonight, so I wanted to post before he got to me. Catch you next week!

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What I thought to be a red ring kind of day has become so much…bluer.

Oh my god, you guys. Eleven books. And not a single one of them is fail train and- oh. Generation Lost. Ahem. Lemme get my red ring.

Let’s start out with the Legion of Super Villains one-shot. I’m a pretty damn big fan of Lightning Lord and Saturn Queen, so I’m a little disappointed that the third of their trio, Cosmic King, was absent from this book. This issue was all about the most evil of the evil attempting to have their universe descend into chaos by destroying ancient worlds that keep the balance. The Rock of Eternity was the first to go (and whoa, was that a Shazam-hand I spy?! Is Thunder going to be making an appearance?), and Oa will be the last, so what is the world in between? The art was amazing, by the way, and my metaphorical boner for Mekt Ranzz was renewed.

Weird Worlds is fun. The Lobo story featured a couple of murders and a political triple-cross, which is actually pretty typical for Lobo. Not as many explosions as I’m used to, though. The Tanga story was…amusing. Drunk monster fighting, I can get behind that.

Couldn’t get into Batman Inc this month, moving on.

“He’s like a mirror-universe Al Gore!” I love you, Hourman. Oh my god. Wildcat, Tommy you precious flower. “I’m on a boat!” That was the single best entrance ever. I hope Roxy keeps her body, I really do. Citizen Steel needs some lovin’ too. But she claims that being human grosses her out, so, que sera sera. The little epilogue with Tyler and Roxy was sweet, so, she does keep her body?

I guess being in love with your cousin runs in both sides of Kon’s family. Lori Luthor, you have something in common with Silver Age Superman, your uncle would be so proud. Wait a second, ‘Garth’? Kon, Beast Boy’s name is Garfield. I love how they touched on Kon and Bart’s friendship. I mean, everyone knows that Kon is gay for is best friends with Tim, but people are always forgetting his friendship with Bart. Neither of them had a normal childhood, both grew up in artificial enviornments, and both have very big shoes that they’ll eventually need to fill. The boys are bros. And the winner is…Krypto! Aww, puppy for the win. Congratulations, Krypto!

I’m just going to talk about puppet Zatanna. She is, at once, the most awesome, and most terrifying thing. Your soul trapped in a puppet that you have no control over? Aggggh. The art and plots in this book just get better and better, I’m never disappointed.

Excuse me, what are a bunch of Deadpool wannabes doing henching for the Calculator? “Congratulations, you just pissed off Superman.” Oh Helena, I do love you. So, Oracle is dead. Except, Barbara Gordon is not. And tell the truth, Oracle isn’t exactly gone either. For now, Proxy is going to be the go-to girl when it comes to information retrieval, and Oracle is going to…I don’t know. Build a second internet, apparently. Good issue, good arc, but I was a little meh on the art. Also, here’s hoping that Mortis never makes another appearance, because good lord. Speaking of reappearances, hiya Misfit! I hope Gail tells us where she’s been, because I missed that girl.

Just kiss the poor detective, Steph. You know you want to. But enough of that. Frankly, the real star of this issue is the new Gray Ghost, Clancy Johnson. This nutbag is just completely adorable. He calls Steph his ‘beautiful bruise’. You precious, precious flower. Oh yeah, and Proxy is an angry abandoned child with a wild stripe in her hair. I’m getting a Jason vibe, and I don’t know why.

Wait a minute. I thought Aaron Langstrom was a tiny Bat-child? When did he go human? I would give another yell of Morrison ignores all canon but his own, except this entire arc is being written by Peter J. Tomasi.
…is Damian eating a Twinkie? Actually, if Alfred made it, it’s probably an eclaire, but still. This kid…he manages to be a genius one panel, a brat the next, and hilarious two panels after that. “That’s soooo incredibly interesting, I can’t wait to tweet it.” You precious child, I just want to strangle you with my love. You know, like your mom does. Zing! So, this White Knight is after all the relations of Arkham inmates? On one hand, while this will be an interesting situation to explore, you do know that eventually, the Knight will be targeting either Dick Grayson or Bruce Wayne because of their connections to Jason Todd, a current inmate, right? Right?

Oh my god, references to gay prison sex. Boys, never stop writing this book, I beg of you.

I take it back oh god I take it back! I have the worst case of crying. Booster! Baby! GET AWAY FROM THE END OF THE WORLD BEFORE YOU HURT YOURSELF!

Why. Why am I doing this to myself? Jaime was, is, was one of my favorite characters ever. My absolute favorite character introduced in comics following the year 2000. I loved that kid. I don’t want to see him lying on a table, still in his armor (his bug suit. He threw up in his bug suit. He was always good about losing his lunch in the early days.). I don’t want to listen to Booster and Skeets talking about taking him home. I don’t…what’s everyone else doing? Nate and Tora are fighting, Bea and Gavril are…oh. Okay. Get some, girl. Booster, you’re good at speechifying. But then again you’ve been getting in some good practice lately and-
oh my god.
Oh my god.
Cancel the lynch mob and the mourning vigils. Break open all the champagne. All of it. HE LIVES HE FUCKING LIVES GET ME MY BLUE RING JAIME REYES IS ALIVE!
Pfff Gavril and Booster’s faces. Huh, I just noticed how totally full of hunky blondes the JLI is. Well, okay then.

And that was this week in comics. Ahem. I have a date with some corned beef and cabbage, and maybe a celebratory entire bottle of Svedka in Jaime’s honor (not really, dad, I may be legal now, but that stuff stinks. Put down the gun.). Peace out, and I hope to see you here next week.

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Look at the cover of Secret Six and try to focus on something other than Scandal’s boots

Three books this week, pathetic. And one of them is fail train, so it’s more like only having two books. Oh, and another one is essentially just a lead-in to the next Green Lantern event. Oh, this is depressing. Let’s do this thing.

Hey look, it’s Jade! With the most lines she’s had since her resurrection. And we’re finally back on the J’onn storyline! SINCE WHEN DOES J’ONN HAVE HEAT VISION?! I know I’ve yelled this question before, but seriously. It makes no sense for the heat-sensitive Martian to have fire eyes. Hahaha we’re watching Martian porn unfold on the page. I turn the page, there’s gonna be a Source Wall there, isn’t it? I mean, this played out once between Superman and Darkseid. This exact scene. Ooh, the sun. Just as good, and gorey. Oooh, White Lantern J’onn is quite shiny and apparently impervious to fire. Wait. What the fuck did I just read? Okay, fail train. I am intrigued.

Man, the Guardians used to be tall. And, like, kinda built. Damn, Krona, got enough junk in that trunk? And Carol and Hal get into the classic damsel pose, fantastic. Holy crap, isn’t Sinestro’s head supposed to be huge and his body is small? Or is this just the most extreme of close-ups? Pff, way to call Hal on his addiction to boobies, Sinestro. So, Krona is to blame for the Manhunters murder spree? I actually think I like him a bit, the man gets shit done. Not good shit, oh no, but he does get it done.

I love Insignificus. He’s creepily adorable. And speaking of creepy adorable things, Ragdoll. I’ve loved this version of the character since Villians United. He’s whimsical, depraved, and probably insane, but he’s also the hardest of cores. It’s Secret Seven versus Ragdoll and the legions of hell, while Scandal’s new girlfriend is being put through an intense one-on-one straight camp from, well, hell. I’m really looking forward to the next issue.

And that was it! God, it’s not even 8 yet. Ah, well, look for me by Tumblr, my lovelies, and see you next week!

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I may just start a Tumblr like that…except Beetles must be remember for the good times, not the bad

Oh, what a small week. Five books, one of which is guaranteed to either make me happy beyond words, or so full of rage, I begin spontaneously spewing blood everywhere. Let’s do this thing.

Larfleeze, your quirkiness is amusing beyond words. “Hairless Lex Luthor!” Yes indeed. Oh my god, is he doing a, a Gollum impression? You precious little flower. I think Glomulus is his favorite Corpsblob or something, because Larfleeze doesn’t just hug anyone. Oh my god. So he’s behind this. Of course he is. Who else could it be? I’m hoping that the reinclusion of Brainiac in Lex’s life will finally lead up to where the hell the Brainiac/Lex clone has gotten to.

Harley has snapped. I know people will argue that she’d snapped by the time she first showed up in Batman: The Animated Series, but at least she was happy then. This Harley is just a tightly-wound ball of rage and hatred in a fancy hat. A manipulative woman we’ve never really gotten to see much of before. And she wants the Joker dead. Good luck, honey. You’ll need it.

So, Peeg. You dug up one of your dead friends to prove to Dick Grayson that Max Lord was real. How does that feel? Not gonna lie, this issue made me facepalm and yell at Dick a lot. Bruce, however, was sort of awesome for once, though his whole ‘I remember everything’ sort of cemented him as DC Jesus in my eyes. In other news, Nicco, you would be an awesome liar if ladies smarter and more fabulous than you weren’t around to spoil everything. Also, I have this feeling that the next couple of issues of everything that ties into Generation Lost is going to be all Crying About Beetles dot Tumblr dot com.

My rage has flared to previously unimaginable levels. I don’t care about you anymore, Max. The sleazy, sometimes goofy businessman from times past is dead to me. I don’t care that you’re essentially a momma’s boy with a god complex. I don’t care that your mommy was in Coast City when it was destroyed. A lot of people lost their lives in a tragedy that no one could have stopped once it got started. There’s only one thing I care about right now.
Jaime Reyes had almost seven years. He was introduced during Infinite Crisis to immediately replace the fallen Ted Kord. In the seven years he was around, he had his own series, a spot on the Teen Titans, a few back-up stories in Booster Gold, and a snug place in the hearts of many of DC’s readers. His popularity only grew when he was introduced to the rest of the world through Batman: The Brave and the Bold. He was always a smart, responsible, goofy kid that loved his friends and family. He, he wanted to be a dentist so that his sister could go to college and his parents would be assured an easy retirement. And now he’s dead.
That was one of the worst things I’ve ever had to type. Who’s going to tell his family? Who is going to tell Paco and Brenda? Who is going to have to stoop down and tell Milagro Reyes that her big brother isn’t going to be coming home because a man they’ve never heard of, a man they didn’t even remember existing, killed him just like he did the Beetle before him? I can’t do it. Booster shouldn’t have to do it. No one should have to. Because this boy didn’t deserve to die.
All I can say about this entire this is this: DC, if you’re doing your whitewashing thing again by killing a minority character in order to bring in a white guy, that white guy had better be Ted Kord. Not a new character. Not a PoC. And you better not be retiring the mantle of Blue Beetle, either. You fucking bring back Ted Kord. Or I just…I don’t know what I would do. I’m way too invested in your better series’ (Birds of Prey, Batgirl, Secret Six, etc) to be able to keep a boycott of DC for even a week. I just don’t have any answers right now.

(this review was written before the above one, but moved to the bottom so that this entry would end on a happy note)
Damian, you precious flower. AUGH. AUGH. KON, TIM, MAKE WITH THE KISSES ALREADY. No, seriously. You boys need to just get over yourselves and your issues and just make the kisses happen. Well, I guess it’s 100% confirmed now then, isn’t it? Kid Eternity is even deader than he was before the Calculator got to him. How does that work, exactly? Did he just…disapparate or something? Become discorpereal? What? I mean, the character’s whole schtick is that he’s already dead, he just can’t go to heaven or hell yet. So, what’s going on? Did he finally cross over? You’d better get back to me on this, Teen Titans. I want to know. So…Tim’s back on the team, and Damian has been curbed? Well, that sort of makes sense. Dami’s only ten or so, he wouldn’t really fit in with this particular team of Titans yet. Try again in a few years, Dick. Aww, how cute. And I know people are gonna be like, he called Dick his only friend! No. He’s talking about Colin. You know, Abuse from Streets of Gotham. He and that kid are totally BFFs. Dick isn’t his friend, Dick is his substitute daddy that hugs too much.

And that was this week in comics! Sort of. Look, I know two Deadpool titles came out today but I just…I can’t follow that guy. As much as I love him and his concept, I just can’t stay interested for more than two or three issues at a time.
Oh, and speaking of Tumblr, I’ve had one of my own for several weeks now! Follow me at touchofgrey37. But as always, parental advisory is suggested. I swear like a sailor.
Peace out, you guys. Got some computer problems I need to fix. Same time next week? Swerval.

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