Posts tagged kick-ass

Two out of three ain’t bad…when we’re talking about the Trinity, anyway.

For my own reasons, I simply can’t continue to read Green Lantern Corps and Nightwing. As it is, we’ve got eight books on our plate today, including what seems to be the end of Kick-Ass 2. Let’s go!

I’m sorry, but I don’t see how anyone in this gang could possibly be Chinese. Is it a bad artist? I mean, he’s clearly seen Asians before. Harmonia is proof of this. Is the future of China just…an explosion of white folks? Okay…

I really like the designs of the Worldkillers, they’re certainly well done. Also, I’d like to be the first to decry the theory that Kara is another Worldkiller. After all, Reign said that only a Worldkiller can defeat a Worldkiller, and Kara was clearly losing her fight against them. This issue was…interesting. It was fairly slow, for an issue that was essentially one big fight scene. Though at the end, it stands to wonder. Did Reign and her Worldkillers take down the force field? It’ll be pretty awkward if they didn’t. Oh well, we’ll find out next month.

Justice League is completely unlikable. The team is made up of dicks. Well, dicks, Diana, and Barry. I haven’t really seen enough of Cyborg to make a informed decision as to whether or not he’s a dick yet. Though I do have a thing to say about Diana. With the whole ‘rejection of Steve Trevor’ thing, is it possible that they might explore a theme that has been speculated on for decades? Namely, the theory that Wonder Woman could be, dare I dream it, queer? I really, really want that route to be traveled, I just don’t want Geoff Johns to be the one to do it.
Now onto the second feature. Holy fuck, what did you do to Billy Batson? Billy ‘sweetest kid on the planet’ Batson. Billy ‘I’m going to make Black Adam’s magic word chocolate egg cream just to fuck with him’ Batson. Well, he’s apparently a brat now. Thanks for that, Geoff Johns. I will say, I always enjoy seeing Gary Frank’s art. I just wish it wasn’t attached to…this.

I love Wonder Woman. I’ve never said that before, but I say it now. This issue is just…fantastic. The perfect marriage of art and writing, simply amazing. Diana and her band of gods and demigods have sought out Hephaestus to arm them for their journey into hell to retrieve Zola, and on the way, learn the answer to a very good question. How is it the Amazons have only ever had girl-children? Answer: they haven’t. The ‘failures’ of Amazons have been traded to Hephaestus for weapons, and he raises them instead. They are not his slaves, as Diana assumed, but his children. This was a good, good issue. It showed that Diana isn’t always right, it introduced us to more members of her extended family, and it also answered a question that had not been answered before. If you haven’t been reading Wonder Woman before, it’d be a good idea to start. Brian Azzarello and Cliff Chiang have made fans out of a former Wonder Woman neutralist.

Wow, today is just a day for adoration. Anyone who knows me knows that I don’t like Bruce Wayne. I’m not a fan, never have been. But under Scott Snyder’s pen, something has happened. While he isn’t exactly likable, Bruce Wayne has become something. Perhaps something he’s always been, but I’ve just been too blind to see. Stripped to his core, he is…an unhinged, emotionally-stunted manchild in a Bat costume. And for some reason, I really, really like that.

I have my problems with Red Hood and the Outlaws, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t. I think my major issue is that this All-Caste thing would have worked just as well attached to a new character, not one as well-established in the DC universe as Jason Todd. That being said, I do like the backstory of Essence. Revealing her, as well as Ducra and the Untitled as a whole, to be Vandal Savage-esque immortals was pretty cool. And the designs are fantastic. But…it just doesn’t feel like a book Jason Todd should be attached to. That’s just my two cents, like it or leave it.

Kick-Ass 2 ended in an interesting way. Red Mist is defeated, the superheroes get their shining moment, Mother Russia gets a particularly gory decapitation scene…it wasn’t bad. It’s clearly not the last we’re going to see of Hit-Girl, if the fact that Millarworld is going to be putting out a solo title about her in June. Yes, that’s right, Millarworld. A company where Mark Millar writes everything. And he’s got the gall to advertise it in the back of a Marvel comic with the line, “The Big Two just became the Big Three” attached. Um. Hi, there’s this other company, goes by the name Image, it’s got one of the most popular comics on the market right now? And said comic spawned a TV show? Yeah, get in line for number 3 status.

Hm. Okay, want my opinion? Of course you don’t, but I’m giving it anyway. Jaime is in New York City. Virgil is in New York City. They should totally team up. By the way, the phasing villain here bears a striking resemblance to the other phasing villain who showed up, connection? Perhaps. I’m still not enjoying the Blue Beetle book, but at least I’m hating it less that usual so…progress?

That was this week in comics! I wrote a lot less that I thought I would, hm. In any case, I was barely driven to insane rage this week, fantastic! Let’s hope next week goes just as well. Until then, my lovelies!


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Talk about going out with a bang!

It’s the last week of the month, week 52, if you will, and what a week it is! New Flash, Teen Titans, and the next-to-final issue of Avengers: Children’s Crusade. I’m ready, are you?

Green Lantern: New Guardians is actually hilarious. It isn’t so bad it’s good, it isn’t so bad it’s terrible, either. It’s just…hilarious. Larfleeze smacking around the Guardians, Ganthet trying to talk to Kyle but getting ring-slapped for his trouble, the visage of Sinestro growing Arkillo’s tongue back, and then the solar system-sized space ship…Tony Bedard, whatever drugs you’re on, keep doing them. But, because I am a clean-living young lady, I think I’m going to make this series and in-store only book for a while.

You ever sit there reading a comic, and when you get to the end, you put it down and go, “I don’t understand!” Well, I don’t get it. Madame Xanadu is on anti-psychotics? June Moone is the bright half to Enchantress’ darkness? Who is this guy Shade is trying to recruit? I’m just so darn confused by Justice League Dark, I feel like I should go research all of the characters involved, then read the issue again. Too bad I won’t actually be buying this issue. JLD, you’re going to be an in-store series from now on.

Kick-Ass 2 is not supposed to be this entertaining. It’s just…how do I put this? This issue had extreme violence, murder, torture, little girls cursing, and more blood than is actually in the human body dripping off our main characters, and yet I still find it amusing. It’s the countdown final confrontation between Kick-Ass and…man, I’m just going to keep calling him Red Mist, because his villain name is idiotic. Allies are called in. The police are out of the picture. What’s on the line? Every living thing in Time’s Square. And…cliffhanger! Balls.

There was this rumor floating around about how they were planning on killing off Speed in The Children’s Crusade. Spoiler alert: It’s not true. Yet. Last issue, Doom was possessed by the Life Force, the thing that gave Wanda Maximoff her reality-altering powers. This issue, another Secret Wars, except it’s out in the open! Also, let me be one of the first to say that Billy’s speech? Officially better than Booster’s speech from Generation Lost. There is a good reason that kid is my favorite Young Avenger. Anyway, a lot happens in this issue. Scott is, surprise surprise, a gigantic dick, Doom is ridiculous, Iron Lad and Vision go claws-out again, oh, and Cassie may or may not have died. Who knows, they could be pulling a Jaime Reyes fakeout. Or, they could be pulling a Marvel. Only time, and the next issue in February, will tell.

Legion: Secret Origins is amazing. Fantastic, even. This issue seems to be the Old Trio/Brainiac 5/Tinya show, with a bit of the issue focusing on Brande himself. Also, first appearance of Reep Daggle and…reboot Lyle? Oh my god, Chris Batista, draw Lyle Norg forever. He’s just so…attractive. I can’t wait until the Legion finally comes together for the first time as teenagers, that’s gonna be so much fun. Oh yeah, and there was some kind of plot about other-dimensional warships or something. Frankly, the entire plot sounds like the story from the most recent Star Trek movie, so I just ignore it and look at all the pretty art and character interaction.

That’s just not fair, Teen Titans. The opening sequence, or at least the background of it, was just so…agh! Booster is on the big screen, and look who is lighting up a billboard right behind Superboy! Foreshadowing a Luthor connection, or just Brett Booth fucking with us? This was, by far and wide, my favorite issue of Teen Titans, any version of Teen Titans, in a long time. It has everything! Miguel is adorable, and has declared that he and Kiran are going to be “best friends forever!” Bart is…Bart. No, really. For the first time since the reboot began, I’m absolutely sure that this is Bart Allen. The Speed Force couldn’t stand the thought of a universe with only one speedster in it, so it spat Bart back out, but erased his memory of all past time lines. Though, it may have mushed some Wally into him, because those eyes are all Wally. Or, possibly, he’s wearing contacts to look less unique. But enough about Bart. Oh, wait, not yet. I think Lobdell is specifically playing up the Red Robin/Kid Flash bromance for Young Justice fans, despite them being a different Robin and Kid Flash. Because their banter? So cute. It reminds me a bit of how Bart and Kon used to interact in the first Young Justice series. Okay, done with Bart. The Cassie/Superboy fight was actually pretty schway. It reestablished Cassie as one of DC’s powerhouses, showing that she can hold her own against Superboy, and possibly even stand a chance of winning. I like Cassie, as a character. As a warrior. Not as someone’s girlfriend or general love interest. She’s better than that and we, as fans, deserve her to be treated better than that. Still, Lobdell couldn’t help but throw some WG/SB dialogue in for the shippers to pounce on, but I’ll save my sighing and eye-rolling for another day, if it ever comes to anything. It took me a second to remember if I was forgetting anyone, and then I remembered Celine. It’s like, she’s trying so hard to establish herself as only defined by her mopeyness about her power, and I don’t like that. Skitter has the opportunity to be such a great character, and here’s how: If the Teen Titans expands and manages to find Miss Martian, Megan can talk to Celine while she’s in her arachnid form, maybe break down whatever mental wall that was keeping her unstable. With that done, we get a nice Dani Moonstar/Rahne Sinclair-esque mental bonding friendship, another girl on the team, and one less mopey girl. Look, Scott. I just wrote an issue for you. Chop to it. One last thing before I go on to the next book. Bart, you are a precious flower. But if you destroy Tim’s One Year Later costume like you destroyed his sweatshirt, there is a pretty good chance he’ll kick you off the team.

Shivers and ugly crying everywhere, that’s my personal reaction to this month’s issue of the Flash. There was barely any Barry in this issue, because this wasn’t a Barry issue. This was about Manuel Lago, this was about Mob Rule. Where he came from was already explained, but why he chose to go there was laid out today. Manuel’s father died in a plane-jacking by Basilisk (you know, the terrorist organization from Suicide Squad), and he joined the CIA to track down the people responsible. A good, old-fashioned vendetta. Unfortunately, they caught him and, upon discovering that he had regenerative abilities, decided to torture him in the best way possible. From the bits removed, grew Mob Rule. I liked how Manapul showed us just how Barry fit into Manuel’s life, and how good friends they were before the series began. Barry was there for him at his father’s funeral. Manuel went to Barry after he was presumed dead, to let his best friend know he was still alive before he alerted his own family. One of the Mob Rule clones put it best; the boys definitely have a bromance going. I wouldn’t mind to see Manuel continue to appear in this comic, he would make an excellent edition to Barry’s supporting cast. And where was Barry for most of this issue, you may ask? Knocked out by a bullet, but still alive. His little inner-monologue about how he should stop thinking so much about every possibility and just go with the one that seems right was pretty sweet, and that ending splash page? So many shivers all up and down my body. The Flash is continuing to be an amazing series, and I’m so pleased about that. I’ve never been ashamed to call myself a Flash fan, not even when Flash: Fastest Man Alive was the only Flash series out, or during Geoff Johns’ Barry series, but now? Now I’m proud to call myself a Barry Allen fan. Francis Manapul, you sir have made a convert out of me.

Well, that’s this year in comics! Next time we meet, it’ll be 2012, how about that? I hope all of you had a fantastic Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, and/or Festivus, and will soon have a wonderful New Years!

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Oh boy oh boy oh boy, pretty art everywhere!

This week is fairly light, with only six titles, one of which being from Marvel. Let’s get right down to it, shall we?

If there’s one thing I can honestly say about Kick-Ass 2, it’s that i don’t know whether I love it or I hate it. On one hand, it’s stupid as hell. The idea of superheroes in a real-life setting, with no superpowers or anything, doesn’t always work. Watchmen pulled it off. For the most part, the first Kick-Ass series pulled it off. But Kick-Ass 2? With Red Mist gone psycho super-villain, he’s sort of dragging it into the territory of the unrealistic. But on the other hand, the members of Justice Forever are, were, pretty awesome, especially the girl whose sole mission was making sure that drunk chicks got home safely. If I was a superhero, I’d probably make that part of my repertoire. This issue sort of tips it into the ‘love’ field. I mean, yes, there’s the tragedy of Dave’s father, but suddenly, Hit-Girl! Face it, Hit-Girl was everyone’s favorite character from the first series, and now, she’s back! I’m sort of looking forward to seeing how the rest of this run plays out.

Okay, I’m just going to come out and say it. I have no idea where New Guardians is going with itself. The rings were drawn to Kyle, but he can’t use them. Members of the different Corps came after Kyle to take the rings back, but now they’re destroyed. And now Larfleeze out of nowhere? Alright..? This book needs to come up with a plot other than “Space police are cool!!!” like, now. Though, interesting to note, this series seems to be a bit behind Red Lanterns, as Bleez isn’t an Alpha Red yet here.

Justice League Dark is finally picking up speed a bit with the third issue. June Moon actually seems to be the main character for this arc, so far. Everyone is looking for Enchantress, but Enchantress is looking for her, so logic dictates…that being said, I love Zatanna and John’s interaction is fantastic. To me, this is a team where my main focus is, okay, how is this person going to react to this person? Not liking how Boston jumps from Dawn to June Moon, though. Romantically, not using his power. Because June doing the flips was pretty awesome, visually.

I had fairly low expectations for the Shade mini. In all honesty, James Robinson has lost a lot of credibility with me in recent years, with the work he did on Justice League, and of course, Cry for Justice. But then again, Starman was how I was introduced to him. The title that felt like it should be published under Vertigo. The crime fighter who wasn’t interested in fighting crime at least, not at first. The Shade, as I said before, was really one of the characters that made Starman for me, and the fact that none of that history seems to have been thrown out with the reboot really means something to me. Last issue, Shade was killed by Deathstroke. This issue, he shows us that aside from being the most understated badass in comics, he is also an intelligent, loving man. Sigh. The two narratives meet when Shade takes care of the mob boss out to kill Von Hammer, and the latter is hired by the former. This is one of those books that can say nothing in many words, and I like that. I know it’s padding, but it’s fun to read, and Cully Hamner did a fantastic job with the visuals.

I’ve been looking forward to this issue of Teen Titans. With #3, we finally get to meet Bunker, whom Scorr Lobdell has revealed as being openly gay. Now, for those of you who know me, or even those of you who know my opinions on the LGBT community, I’ve often said that they’re a group that doesn’t get much representation in comics, DC especially. In recent years, DC has focused much of its energy on lesbians rather than gay men, with Batwoman currently starring in her own ongoing, and Renee Montoya having had a mini-series, followed by a short starring role in Detective Comics. Meanwhile, Mikaal Tomas was in the Justice League and…that was basically it. We’re not going to discuss Piper’s role in Countdown, because I’ve spent a long time pretending Countdown never existed. So for an out character to be a major player in one of DC’s ‘teen’ titles? I’m excited. My initial thoughts on Miguel Barragan? He’s…cute. Very cute. Sort of flamboyant (and wow can you tell that that’s reboot Tim; normal Tim wouldn’t have let anyone get that far into his personal space for a hug without knowing them for years beforehand), but in a good way, not in an oh-christ-is-this-going-to-get-annoying-quick way. By the way, can I just point out that Brett Booth is really bringing his A-game, especially with the scene where Tim and Miguel are poking their heads out of the train to look at the people. Speaking of which, I expect this Girder/Thinker 2.0 hybrid Detritus to be a major player sometime later in the series…a threat level comparable to Trigon, perhaps? Oh right, and the other storyline in this issue focuses on Kid Flash and Solstice. I’m honestly hoping that, personality-wise, Kiran remains about the same as before. I’m not going to call Kid Flash Bart until he proves to me, in some way, in any way, that he’s anything like the Bart Allen I fell in love with when I was 7.

So, remember in the last Flash series, when Barry saved the occupants of a helicopter before it crashed? Pretty cool, right? Phweeet. That’s the sound of that moment flying away as the image of Barry vibrating an entire plan through a bridge to let it have a safe water landing knocks it out of the park. I will never call this man dull again. Francis Manapul, you are a god among men. You managed to do in five pages what Geoff Johns did not in twelve issues: you have made me respect Barry Allen. And then there’s…oh. Len. You. Uh. You’re generating cold without the gun. That’s kind of…neat? Call me crazy, but I always like the fact that Flash’s Rogues were all guys in spandex with fancy weapons, not actual metahumans. That’s why the ‘new’ Rogues like Girder, Magenta, even the new Zoom didn’t exactly take with me. Still, a Manapul-penned Len Snart is a beautiful thing to behold. Ahem. AAAAAIEEEEGH. Axel. Axel Walker is in this issue. And he’s beautiful. Oh dear god that’s two Rogue sightings in as many pages. C’mon, throw Evan or Mark in for good measure. Ahem. Anyway, the issue ends on a rescue mission and a- dead Barry?! Oh, c’mon. You all know as well as I do that it won’t stick.

Well, that’s this week in comics. Sorry that this is going up so late, but I had a bit of a run in with something called a ‘social life’, and then came American Horror Story. Still, I’ll see you all back here in 7. Until then, happy Thanksgiving!

Say, anyone reading live in South Florida? Well if you do, y’all should know that this Black Friday, and all throughout the weekend, Broward’s three biggest comic shops, Tate’s Comics, Crossroad Comics, and Florida Supercomics, are all having huge Black Weekend sales! For full information and coupon downloads, check out their individual Facebook pages.

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They’re supposed to save the BEST for last, what the hell?!

A very small week, compared to the rest of the month. Five books, one of which is a, gasp, Marvel. I don’t know why I’m acting so surprised, mainly because it seems like Kick-Ass 2 is going to be running on time now. Shall we get down to it?

It’s not often that I pick up a comic that makes me curse out loud but damnit, Kick-Ass 2, you’ve managed it. Cop-killing, child-murdering, rape, and various other acts of gore are splashed across the pages of the fourth issue of this series, and I don’t know if I love it or hate it. On one hand, such violence doesn’t really bother or offend me. On the other hand, the former Red Mist (I’m not using his ‘supervillain’ name, because it’s stupid) hunts down, gang-rapes, and beats up a girl that he believes to be dating Kick-Ass…on false information. It’s not just offensive, it’s gross. Though I will admit to enjoying the character Mother Russia. She’s refreshingly bloodthirsty, yet shows no emotion while committing deplorable acts of violence, as well as being paid for her services. I’m torn on my feelings for this issue, but I wouldn’t recommend it to the faint of stomach.

Justice League Dark was…odd. It’s a magic title, that’s the first indication that it wasn’t going to exactly be normal, but then it’s also DC’s way of pulling older Vertigo characters into the DCnU. Namely, John Constantine, Madame Xanadu, and Shade the Changing Man. The story centers around Enchantress going insane, and Xanadu needing to pull together people strong enough to fight her. The first issue is basically a setting up issue for the rest of the storyline, but it’s still pretty good in itself.

I was sort of wary of the New Guardians book, just by idea. The promo shots have all shown one Lantern of each Corps either working together, or fighting each other. The Lanterns are as follows: Bleez from the Red Lantern Corps, Glomulus from Agent Orange, Arkillo from the Sinestro Corps, Kyle Rayner from the Green Lantern Corps, Saint Walker (who wasn’t actually in this issue) from the Blue Lantern Corps, Munk from the Indigo Tribe, and Fatality from the Star Sapphires. The issue starts with Kyle Rayner’s origin from when he first became a GL. The years quickly pass as all across the galaxy, Lanterns of the different corps lose their rings, and said rings make their way to Earth, seeking out Kyle Rayner. And then the brawl ensues. You know, I like this issue. It’s an interesting concept, that Kyle Rayner has been chosen to be the sole guardian of the emotional spectrum. and that the people whose rings were taken don’t want him to be. The art is spectacular, the Kirkham/Batt team really know how to draw women. And the writer is Tony Bedard, who I’ll probably keep throwing money at so long as he’s writing books set in space. So long as the next issue keeps up the quality, I can see myself reading this book for a long time.

Right off the bat, before I even open the issue, let me tell you what I don’t like about the new Flash series. For starters, the last Flash series starring Barry Allen wasn’t that great, and the sales reflected that. It was dull, the supporting cast was next to nonexistent for the first arc, and the second arc had everyone wondering why the fuck Barry was being so distant from all the people he supposedly loved. Newsflash, Barry my man, ‘dark and brooding’ doesn’t work on a character that wears bright red pajamas and had his nephew for a sidekick. What’s my point? If the last Flash series starring this incredibly dull character didn’t do well, why are you trying again? And, as an added kick, they’ve made it so that he and Iris were never married. Okay, this I take a major issue to. If Barry and Iris were never married, how does Kid Flash exist? It can’t be Wally, because de-aging him and putting him back in the yellow tights is a big FUCK YOU to everyone that worked on his series, or spent time developing him as a character. And it can’t be Bart, because that’s basically telling us that yup, Barry and Iris are going to end up together anyway, which would make every relationship he cultivates in this new series completely moot. Anyway, enough of my bitching. Time to open up the first issue of the brand new Flash series and see what I think.

Okay, the introductory credits are pretty cool, credit where credit is due. Francis Manapul is a ridiculously talented artist and, while his Barry and Iris looked very young for their ages in the last Flash series he drew, the style fits here. Barry is supposed to be a man in his late twenties, and it shows. The story, when focusing on Barry and not the women in his life, is actually really interesting. Barry is at a tech symposium when it’s robbed, and one of the wannabe thieves is killed in the escape. As it turns out, said thief is actually an old college friend of Barry’s, which is a shock to him. The bigger shock comes later in the issue when Manuel, the supposedly dead man, shows up at Barry’s apartment, alive and well. The twist at the end of the issue was something I kind of called as soon as I saw that Manuel was alive, but it was still a good reveal. Overall, this seems like it could make for a good story. Who knows, maybe putting Francis Manapul in the writer’s seat was good for the series. Maybe Geoff Johns, who was also writing Blackest Night, Brightest Day, Green Lantern, and a Superman mini over the course of his run on the last Flash series, simply had too much on his plate to write a good Barry Allen story, and removing him from the equation will let the series flourish. Whatever the case, Francis Manapul’s Flash has definitely made me proud to be a fan of those who ride the lightning, for the first time in a while.

And this is what it all leads up to. Teen Titans was one of the first comic books I’d ever read as a kid. Well, New Teen Titans back issues. When I finally had the money to start going to comic shops and browse on my own, the book had switched casts completely. Though it only ran for two years, the ’96 Jurgens Titans team is still one of my favorites. Actually, I have a soft spot for younger teams. My very favorite ongoing series is Young Justice. Like the earlier New Teen Titans issues I’d devoured, Young Justice was made up of a set group of teenagers and, aside from adding some supporting cast members like Red Tornado, Snapper Carr, and agents Fite and Maad, the team basically stayed the same for the six years it ran. I wasn’t as impressed by the next Teen Titans team that formed from the Young Justice kids, probably because Geoff Johns was again, taking on too much work (his run on Teen Titans was also when he was writing JSA and Flash), though I really loved the One Year Later team…under the pen of Sean McKeever. But now my babies are being written by Scott Lobdell, who is also the writer on the (now infamously funny/bad) Red Hood and the Outlaws, and Superboy. Hmm. Interesting. Lobdell is writing the Superboy ongoing, and the character of Superboy is going to be in Teen Titans, which he is also writing. Hopefully he won’t get Johns syndrome, which I just made up. Basically, when Geoff Johns was writing Teen Titans, the character Kid Flash would also show up periodically in the Flash book he was on except…maybe it’s because he assumed that kids act differently around their friends, but the Bart Allen in the Flash series was a lot more likable than the Bart Allen in Teen Titans, at least from my perspective. Anyway, enough introspective, it’s time to read this new book.

I hate the world.

No, no, let me explain. This attention-grabbing Kid Flash? His personality was lifted from Teen Titans Year One’s Kid Flash. Except, in the scene with Tim and his magic screens, it clearly says that his name is Bart Allen. Whelp, looks like Barry’s meaningful relationship with Patty Spivot has been shot dead at the starting line. Oh, and speaking of Tim’s magical spy-screens, current recognizable kids on the radar include: Gar Logan as either Beast Boy or Changeling, Virgil Hawkins as Static, M’gann M’orzz as Miss Martian, Raven, Man-Bat’s kids (which, I’m honestly surprised that they still exist when so many other characters don’t), that Bunker kid, someone from Star City (Mia?), Kiran as Solstice, and a girl who could be either Traci 13 or Black Alice, though I’m more inclined towards saying it’s Traci. But back to the story itself. So far, Tim is the obvious star of this series and right off the bat, it looks like his love interest is going to, once again, be Cassie. No, not Cassie. I don’t know who this chick is, but I know she isn’t Cassie Sandsmark. Another thing. Why have all these shiny new characters on the cover when none of them show up? Ahh whatever. I’m going to stick around, mainly because I want to meet these new kids. If I don’t like them, I’m gone.

I’m Touch of Grey, this was the last week of the first month of the reboot, and I need to go lay down. Stay tuned, as I’m going to post my official reboot Want and Do Not Want lists within the next few days.

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The future’s so dark, I’m gonna need a Flashlight. See what I did there?

This is it. The last full week. I, I don’t have anything else to say.

As always, the Flashpoint titles will be lumped together.

Maybe it’s because I never got into Wildstorm, aside from Gen 13 and Authority, but I just don’t like Lois Lane and the Resistance as much as I could. It’s full of pointless backstory I don’t care about, and without the various Furies that I recognize (that have no lines, for the most part), I doubt I would be reading it at all. Lois Lane has never really been one of my favorite female characters and while a book about her could, theoretically, be interesting, this one just…wasn’t. Sorry, Lois.
I. I can’t I just.
Hoo. Okay. I am so angry right now. I feel like right now, there is no doubt in my mind that Bart isn’t going to be Kid Flash in the new universe. This one I’m dissecting, so prepare for maximum spoilers. Bart is the reason there isn’t any Speed Force in the Flashpoint universe. He took the speed from Max, and Jay, and maybe even Johnny and Jesse Quick. Because there was never any Flash back in the 40’s, Barry Allen never spent his life being a fan. He never got in the accident that gave him his powers, and never gave the same powers to Wally. Barry Allen never married Iris West. Bart was never born. He existed outside of time, then went back in time as the Black Flash to steal the speed from, and kill, the man who would eventually become Max Mercury. As the Black Flash, Bart bounces around the timestream collecting Speed Force to give to Barry, then performs an exact copy of Barry’s death on Crisis on Infinite Earths in order to also become one with the Speed Force. But the worst part of all this?
Barry doesn’t really care.
I mean, he basically says so. He says that he doesn’t really know Bart all that well, but did he ever try to take the time to get to know him? No, he did not. Even Wally, with all his problems and issues, took a break every now and then from saving the world and banging Linda to hang out with his cousin. Barry is Bart’s grandfather. Bart is the son of a child that Barry never knew. Barry and Bart are so removed from each other, I don’t even know what to say. Other than Kid Flash Lost #3 was probably the most disappointing ending to a series since the final issue of Wally’s series a few years ago. I’m not happy.
We now return you to your scheduled programming.

It’s pretty obvious that Geoff Johns doesn’t want the Green Lantern movie to be anything like the comics. Why do I say this? Well, the final Green Lantern movie prequel came out today, starring Sinestro. And it, as with the others, told his origins. Apparently, movie!Sinestro was a freedom fighter on his planet. In the comics, he was an archaeologist. Umm. The two aren’t really similar, but okay. This being said, it was a nice one-shot, and I actually enjoyed it. Kinda cements the Abin/Sinestro bromance for me.

The final issue of Gates of Gotham can be summed up in one sentence: “Given enough time, I’m sure you’d make an even better Batman than me.” Dick Grayson made a great Batman. Thank you, Scott Snyder, for voicing this opinion through the mouthpiece that is Bruce Wayne. Take that, ‘Bruce is the only Batman’ fanboys.

You know, I like to think that, despite all of their differences, Guy and Bruce actually get along really well. They’re both quite intelligent, though Guy likes to mask his smarts with bravado. They’re both very guarded when it comes to personal relationships. But above all, they both know how to save the day, albeit in different ways. I like this team-up issue, and yeah, it was kind of a fitting end to Guy’s series. Well played, Tomasi.

There comes a time in every reviewers life when they read the end of a series and think, wow. That was seriously pulled directly out of the writer’s ass last second, wasn’t it? “The Batman made me do it” is honestly the worst, and lamest, excuse I’ve ever heard. Bruce wasn’t Batman when this series began, Dick was. Dick wasn’t up for manipulating anyone at that stage in his career as Batman. He was dragging people down streets hanging off of his motorcycle. Still, good save, Selina. This issue earns a 3 of 5. Could have been a lot worse. Imagine if they’d actually killed her? Reboot or no, a cheap death is still a cheap death. Hear that, Sterling Gates?

So hey, who remembers Kick-Ass 2? Not me, the last issue came out in like, January. Anyway, issue #3 is out and…I’m going to be honest here. Is this supposed to be a serious real-world superhero book? Because it’s hilarious. There’s a heroine whose main objective is getting drunk girls home safely, and another guy who is cutting down on public transit violence. Frankly, I prefer those two to pretty much everyone else who just wants to beat people up. These guys are doing an actual civic duty that is often overlooked by regular law enforcement, especially in a big city. But this is the funny part. Remember Red Mist? He’s a full-time bad guy now, and his villain name is, wait for it, the Motherfucker. No, I’m not joking. This is the quality of the second half of this issue. Just, keep that in mind when the next issue of Kick-Ass comes out two years from now.

The final issue of Teen Titans wasn’t as half-assed as I thought it was going to be. Unlike the final issue of Superboy, which had been given two chances to not suck but failed, it was well thought out and well-paced. Sssssorta. Not going to lie, I facepalmed my way through the post-battle Kon/Rose moment. The art was very good, as was the writing, but so many questions were left unanswered for me. Who was under the Inertia costume? How did Prime clone three Kon’s? What if they were mind-controlled versions of Kon brought to the future? Who decided it would be a good idea to give Damian the Kryptonite phallic object? Why won’t Gar stop creepin’ on Raven? Are we seriously supposed to believe that the Source Wall is the permanent solution to Superboy-Prime? I’d voice some more questions, but I think I’ll just let y’all speculate on those for now.

Well. That’s it, then. Next week I’ve only got two books, the final issue of Flashpoint and, because I refuse to make a post about one book, the first issue of Justice League. Will they suck? Will the reboot sap my will to live? Will this blog still exist come October? Only time will tell. Until next time, readers. I’m Touch of Grey, and I have a chicken sandwich in my purse. And I’m going to eat it. Peace out.

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Sorry for the delay

Oh, I’m excited! Guess what comes out today? You may remember it from last year, early last year. No clue? Kick-Ass 2 #2! I know, that wasn’t cancelled. Aside from that, we’ve got five DC books to go through and not a lot of time. Shall we?

Lex Luthor, you’re a moron. I mean, you find a giant ship that looks like a head, and you don’t think Brainiac is inside?! I mean, you worked for him for a time, let’s get real here. Oh, okay. Bad acting. Way to fake your way through that, Lexy babe. BRAINIAC IS ORGANIC DAMNIT. He isn’t a machine. He is of the planet Colu. He should not have probes coming out of his brain. Well. This explains…nothing. So the nanites in Lex’s bloodstream placed there by Lois were being controlled by the unholy demon boss of Mr. Mind. That makes perfect sense. I’m going to write this off as a batshit insane Lex Luthor story and be done with it.

Oh shit. Well, that was so worth the wait. Kick-Ass joins a Justice League style team called Neighborhood Watch, finds a new BFF in a kid that goes to his school and also fights crime, and then they take on some Mafia guys. Fast-paced action, some nice storytelling, I’m re-hooked. Let’s hope it doesn’t take another year for the third issue.

Hal, Guy has built up an imunity to ‘one-punch’, what the hell are you doing. Okay, I think I get it now. The entire point of War of the Green Lanterns is to get Hal to take off his ring. But Hal won’t take his ring off. He’s only been able to commit to one thing in his life, and that’s the Corps. Whoops, spoke too soon. So tell me this, boys. How do you plan on defeating the entire Green Lantern Corps without rings? Am I the only person that wants to see Hal Jordan: Sinestro Corps honorary member? That’d make a nifty action figure, and also a really good start for some slashfic. Hal putting on Sinestro’s ring to defeat the Corps, using the impurity immunity against Krona. Give the fandom something to work with, guys! Also, the art this issue was just amazing. Fernando Pasarin, you can stay the rest of the arc and more if you want to, I’ll be happy to stare googly eyed at your pretty, pretty Guy.

Just from the cover and first page of Gotham City Sirens, I worry for Harley. As far as female characters go, she’s a, pardon the expression, cash cow. DC isn’t going to kill her off. But they may end up shelving her for a while, depending on how this storyline plays out. Oh. Goddamn. See, this is something that scares me about good writers. I know how stupid that sounds, don’t get ahead of me. Good writers, like Paul Dini, can get you to like a character. Invest yourself emotionally. Maybe even find things in that character that you relate to. Writers like Peter Calloway can get you to worry for a character in a way you normally reserve for a close friend. I’ve been to a lot of comic shops in my life, and even more conventions. And I’ve never been to one where someone didn’t have a piece of Harley Quinn paraphernalia, wasn’t dressed up as a version of Harley. I talk to people. One woman I talked to said she was only dressed as Harley because her boyfriend was dressed as the Joker. One girl said that she’d grown up with Harley in the cartoons. And one woman said that she’d always hated Harley. “But when she finally split up with the Joker for good and for reals,” she said, repainting the places on her face where the white makeup had rubbed off during her time walking around the convention center. “It sort of reminded me of when I got the restraining order against my ex-husband. You try and give them all the love you have, but they don’t want it. All they want to do is take and take and hurt and hurt, until you just ain’t sure what’s you anymore, and what it is they’ve programmed into you.” I don’t have a good memory, but I’ll never forget that conversation, that woman. I hope she doesn’t read this issue. And if she does, I hope she’s somewhere safe.

Honestly, I just want to spend my review of the latest issue of Zatanna gushing about how much I love Dr. Bodie. A shrink that lives between realms and caters exclusively to magicians and magical beings both good and evil?! Leave it to come from the mind of Paul Dini. And that cover…no one draws the ladies like Adam Hughes, no one. He just has this dynamic style that I’ve always thought best reserved for covers and pin-ups, but ironically, he was the person who drew the first comic book I ever read. I hope Oscar Hampnel doesn’t become a recurring character, he freaks me out. Stay canned, you creepy bastard.

Where the fuck is Tim jumplining in from?! Did he just…jump off the roof? What was the point of that, Tim? They’re called stairs, try them. Now now ladies, don’t fight. I swear, Rose and Cassie just need to make out get over their issues and work together already. Right there. That group shot, for just a second, had Bart looking a little like Bart again. Aaand next page we’re back to Wally-lite. The kid never had freckles, and his hair isn’t red. It’s a dark brown. Ooh, the pissy bitchometer is off the charts today. Whoa! Demon! Didn’t see that one coming. No, really, that was kinda off my radar, no sarcasm meant. Good to see J.T. Krul can keep me on my toes still. So, Cassie and her mom are on the demon plane? Is she going to come back into the human world after an hour and a decade has passed? Okay, enough Yu Yu Hakusho fanfic references from me tonight. I’m intrigued. Teen Titans, you pass muster for this month.

Well, that’s the comic review. So sorry about the late, late update, but Florida sort of fails as a state. My internet was down for ages, so I’ve just been reading The Walking Dead trades and playing Spider Solitaire until it came back on. See you next week. Same place, much, much earlier time!

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If this week got any bigger, I’d have to start cracking jokes

Is this a big week? Does the pope have a balcony? Fourteen books this time around, god help me. Well, let’s just jump right in.

The fail train rides again! Actually, and I’ll deny saying it later, this week wasn’t terrible. With the exception of the Firestorm pages, this issue combined the few things I like about Brightest Day. The J’onn story has been keeping me on the edge of my seat, and it really came to a head now that he’s confronted psycho Martian chick, D’kay D’razz. She’s the exact meaning of the term mindfuck and I can’t believe I’m saying this, but check out the issue yourself for the twist of all twists the last five pages. A brick was shat.

What is it about the Bat-women that rocks so hard? Of the Bruce Wayne: The Road Home one-shots that have come out so far, only Batgirl and Catwoman have been truly excellent. I’m not a Batfan, really I’m not, but something about the Dark Knight’s leading ladies always reels me in. You go, girls. You go.

On the opposite side of the spectrum is the Commissioner Gordon one-shot. Jim has never been one of my favorite Bat-guys, but he’s pretty badass for a powerless man in his 50’s. Even though the issue was written by Adam ‘Sonuva’ Beechen, I dug it. Go ahead and check it out, if you’ve got the time to spare.

Legion of Superheroes is finally getting good for me. I think it was all the Green Lantern stuff and Earth Man-centric issues that were spoiling it for me. Legion has always been about having a large, rotating cast of characters, not fixating on just one or two. Anyway, rant over. I’m gonna call this issue “couples a-go-go”, because everyone is making out. Seriously, this issue was full of romance. Shady and Earth Man, Ultra Boy and Phantom Girl, Gim and Yera, Garth and Imra, Ayla and Salu…no, seriously. It was a cute nod to the Pre-Crisis Legion stories where they were lovers. Hopefully this is canon again, the Legion needs more lesbians.

I don’t normally pick up Superman/Batman. I mean, I get backissues from conventions and tent sales, and my boyfriend buys the trades, but I don’t follow it regularly. I may have to, though, if all the issues are as funny and interesting as #77 was. Any Supergirl/Robin teamup is worth picking up, but a Kara/Damian teamup? Oh, yes please. My only complaint is that he never once calls her fat. He calls her an alien constantly, though, in true Dami fashion. I love that kid.

Justice League is growing on me again. I haven’t read anything from the main JL series since Cry For Justice (BOOOOOOOO), but since starting last month, I’m cursing the fact that I can’t seem to put it down. The Crime Syndicate of Amerika is back, y’all! Also, Tangent Earth Green Lantern makes an appearance. I’m telling you, I’m getting some heavy JLA-esque vibes from this current arc. I hope I’m wrong, because that arc of the old JLA series sucked. This issue, while text-heavy like whoa, was actually pretty readable. Let’s hope this trend continues.

I haven’t followed Gen13 for two issues now…so what the hell happened?! Last time I checked in with them, the Gens were in, like, the frozen wastelands, and Roxy and Grunge were going into space. I’m totally confused. Ah, well. Next weekend is the tent sale at Tate’s, and backissues that aren’t under the tent are half off inside the store. I’ll go grab them if I can’t find them outside, and hopefully clear up my confusion.

Is it just me, or are the Teen Titans stories the only decent ones in the Holiday Specials that DC puts out? Unless you plan on spending $5 for one story, I suggest skipping it.

Reading a Grant Morrison book is a double-edged sword. On one hand, it could be the best thing you’ve ever read. On the other hand, it could be so completely nonsensical that your head does a 360-spin trying to keep up. I think the entire latest issue of Batman and Robin was just a lead up to the fact that Dr. Thomas Wayne is actually, wait for it, Dr. Tommy Elliot. Big shocker, right? Tommy is a notorious face-stealer, and they share the same name, so…ahem. Moving on,

Remember how I said that Bat-ladies could do no wrong? Well, I feel the opposite for Superman’s supporting female cast. Lana Lang is a lovestruck bimbo, Cat Grant is a self-possessed bitch, Supergirl is the new DCU emo kid, Power Girl is being written by Judd Winick (WINIIIIIIIIICK), Lois Lane spent 50 years trying to get Superman to marry her…I swear, the only decent female character that’s come out of the Supercast recently is Bizarrogirl. And maybe Mercy Graves, who was badass in the Infinity Inc series post-52. If there is one thing I can say about this issue of Supergirl, it’s that it was drawn incredible well. The page comparing Supergirl and Bizarrogirl was superb. And that last page, with Cat Grant? Mascara tracks have never looked so good.

Power Girl confuses me. It looks like Judd Winick (WINIIIIIIIIICK) has been taking banter cues from Keith Giffen, but aside from that…is Peeg hitting on her new info man Nicco? What’s with the lady-reveal on the last page? Seriously, who the hell is she. Looks kinda like a badly-drawn Atlee, except she’s supposed to be a Kryptonian. I’m gonna write this issue off as “Confusing as Hell” and call it a day, mmkay?

Is there anything better than seeing someone slug Sinestro? In a Green Lantern series, no. In Green Lantern Corps, maybe. In a final page splash shot? You bet your ass there isn’t. I love Green Lantern Corps. Tony Bedard is honestly one of the coolest comic writers I’ve ever met, if not one of the best comic writers DC employs (sorry, Gail). His natural element seems to be space, because he was obviously born there. Don’t believe me? No one but a star-traveller could write space stories this well, I’m convinced. This new arc is going to be focused around Soranik and Kyle (didn’t I predict that?), and the weaponers of Qward. Looks promising, I can dig it.

Okay, so, lemme get this straight. The Steve Rogers that invited Deadpool to be part of his team last issue was an imperfect clone built by a man named Doctor Bong?! Seriously?! Deadpool, you have a terrible taste in friends. Next issue.

Hey, some of you may have heard of this comic-turned-movie from a couple years ago? About a kid that made himself into a superhero in a setting like the world we live in? I think it was called Kick-Ass? I have the first issue of the second series in my hands. Care to come along for the ride? Two words for you: Justice Forever. What is it, you ask? A TV show? A comic series? No, my friends. It’s the main plot of the new Kick-Ass series, the superteam he joins. Yes, an honest to god superteam. I’m going to stand up in a minute, and I won’t be surprised at all if I find a brick on my chair.

Well, that’s this week in comics, ladies and gents. I myself have a date with Gaia Online’s Exchange forum. Hope to see you all back here next week, same time, same place. Peace.

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