Posts tagged Red Robin

Four plus three equals Batfamily: The Batkids and why I love them.

What makes a Batman comic great?

Is it the fight scenes, the character interaction, the villains..? Well, maybe. But if you’re asking me, I’m going to look you dead in the eye and say one word:

“Robin.”

I love Robin. Every Robin. All of the Robins in all of their various forms. Dick Grayson, Jason Todd, Tim Drake, Stephanie Brown, Damian Wayne, even Carrie Kelly. Though to be fair to her, I’ll have to come clean and admit that it took me a couple of tries to get through the two books she was in. Frank Miller is not my favorite writer, and that art style was just…yeuch. Actually, speaking of terrible art, that brings me to the other half of the equation, namely, the Batgirls.

We’re actually going to start with the Batgirls because I have less to say about them than I have to say on the Robins.

For a long time, Barbara Gordon was my dream girl. I am saying this in the absolute least heterosexual way compared to what I actually mean, but yes. She was my hero. I loved her. I wanted to be her. Because I was born in 1990, and grew up watching Batman: The Animated Series. She was My Batgirl for a long time…until I got into comics. By the time I got into comics in 97, Barbara Gordon hadn’t been Batgirl for almost a decade. Instead, she is now Oracle, the wheelchair-bound computer genius who, arguably, keeps the superhero community connected. I loved her in that role, even more than I loved her as Batgirl. Batgirl will punch you in the face! Oracle will fuck your life up big time, the power is at her fingertips. Her recent return to the Batsuit…irks me. Why did it happen? What was the purpose of taking Barbara Gordon away from the thing she did best to get her back to doing what a thousand other people do just as well, if not better? The sting wouldn’t be so bad if the series was at least done well, but Gail Simone is really off her game on this one, and the art isn’t much better. But enough about Batgirl number one.

Now to be honest, I didn’t follow a ton of Bat-titles through the 90s, mainly because I could only really afford to pick up 4 or 5 titles a month (Flash, Impulse, and Titans always ranked above Bat-titles). If I had a little extra money, I would flip through the other titles on the shelf, usually paying more attention to the art rather than who was in them. And so, I’m a little ashamed to admit that for a long time, I passed up Cassandra Cain’s solo series, because Damion Scott cannot draw. I now own the entire series and, while the art still bugs the crap out of me when he’s on pencils, it’s still a great book, and Cassandra is a great character. She gives a new meaning to ‘strong, silent type’. But she also has just the right amounts of heartbreaking. Remember when Babs was trying to cheer her up, telling her, “You just go and be the best Batgirl possible!” And Cass was like, “Can’t. You were.” Oh god. Oh god my heart. When I read that, I knew that good art or bad art, I would love this girl for the rest of my life. Cass recently won the title of Most Kick-Ass DC Woman on Tumblr, via DCWomenKickingAss, and she deserves it. Hopefully, some DC executive types were paying attention.

You may be wondering why I’m going straight into the Robins. To which I say, have some damn patience, it’s only a few paragraphs more.

Dick Grayson is the single most important character DC has ever had. Why do I say that? Because while Superman and Batman were the heroes to little boys everywhere, Robin was one of them. A kid could only dream about someday being Batman. Robin, he could try right then and there. As Robin, Dick helped to found the Teen Titans. As Nightwing, Dick was the leader for several more incarnations of Titans, as well as the Outsiders. And then, after the battle for it was over, Dick became Batman. I could talk for ages about how much Dick Grayson means to me, but the truth is, he’s not my Robin. He was never my Robin, he was always just Nightwing to me. Want to know who my Robin was?

I first entered a comic shop in 1997. I’d been sort of into comics for about a year before that, reading backissues that my uncle and one of my grandmother’s friends had, but those issues were old, the most recent ones being from around 1986. Sure, I knew that Dick Grayson had been Robin first, but the first Robin I ever read about was Jason Todd. My uncle was more into Justice League and Superman than Batman, but he did have a few issues featuring Jason Todd, most of which I would later learn to be classified as pre-Crisis. So imagine my surprise the first time I go into a comic shop and see that Robin has his own series! Wait a second, that’s not…where’s Jason?! I actually had to ask the guy behind the counter who it was that was starring in the Robin series. After about five seconds of him being condescending (before he realized, whoops, that’s a little girl), he explained that it was Tim Drake, and that he’d been Batman’s partner for a few years now. “Wait, so where’s Jason? Is he Nightwing now?” The man explained to me very gently that Jason had died, and even gave me a copy of A Death in the Family (that was shot to hell and missing pages, but still, it was a nice gesture). I’d never been so upset over something fictional before in my life. This was three Bambi moms and a Mufasa all rolled into one. And right then and there, I swore that I would never like Tim Drake as Robin. Ever. Even years later, after Jason returned as the Red Hood, quite literally bringing sexy back, I would still hate that mantle-grabbing brat, Tim Drake.

I was a very stupid kid.

Tim Drake, from the beginning, was in love with the idea of being Robin. He was (subtextually) in love with Dick Grayson, enough to be able to figure out that Dick was Robin, just from seeing Robin perform a move that Dick had years ago. Oh yeah, and Tim had been at the circus the night Dick became Robin. To this day, I still haven’t read a lot of early Tim stuff, from before he had his own series, though I do own about 90% of the Robin title, as well as all of the Red Robin book, and let me just say this: If Dick Grayson is the guy everyone wants to know, then Tim Drake is that gigantic dork that everyone knows and loves, but can’t figure out why. For a long time, Tim was this giant nerd that, for some reason, endeared himself to me. He was never my Robin, though he was the one I ended up knowing best. Probably my favorite thing he was ever in, though was Young Justice. It was nice to see how awkward he was compared to DC’s other teenagers. He held the title of DC’s emo kid from 2004 until about 2009, though to his credit, DC shit on him pretty thoroughly for those years. And while he was sort of starting to get back some of his more essential Tim-ness towards the end of his run in Red Robin, that completely vanished once DC rebooted, so I guess I can go back to hating him in peace.

Stephanie Brown is my favorite Robin. No, seriously. I loved the idea of Steph as Robin in the World Without Young Justice crossover event, and when that actually happened in the main canon, I freaked. A girl Robin! Oh my god! And it was the girl who bricked Tim Drake! Steph was part of the reason I kept buying the Robin title. She was just so…normal, compared to Tim. She was this girl who had friends and went to school and didn’t exactly lie to her mom about what she was up to at night. Her only real flaw was that she seemed to have Tinya Wazzo syndrome, inability to function without Tim in her life. Though, I chock that up to it being Tim’s book, because whenever she’d appear in Cass’ book, she was just fine. And then she died. I didn’t even find out she died until, well, until Tim did. Because I didn’t really follow crossover stories. I didn’t know how to react. Surely this was a Disney death. Obviously she’d be back in a few weeks, because this wasn’t really happening. Well, Stephanie did eventually come back, as Spoiler, in one of the strangest, stupidest explanations for a character death ever. I mean, this was ‘Bucky was found by the Russians, given a new arm, and sent to kill things’ weird. But I swallowed it, because by this time, I’d pretty much accepted that I’d been drinking the Tim Drake Kool-Aid for years now. And then, an amazing thing happened. Stephanie, my Robin, my eggplant warrior, made the ultimate leap. While Cass ran around starkers (seriously, did she just…get naked on the roof and leave the uniform there?), Steph donned the cowl for the very first time as Batgirl! Augh, can I just be a fangirl for a second and screech about how much I loved it? Power Girl had her own (awesome!) title, and Steph had her own ongoing as Batgirl. Not to mention that the very Silver Age Batgirl/Supergirl friendship was revived…I was in heaven. Because here’s something you’re all going to hate me for. Stephanie Brown is my favorite Batkid. She’s my Batgirl, she’s my favorite Robin, she’s the one who worked the hardest for the recognition. She’s not perfect. She makes mistakes. But she doesn’t close herself off or hole up somewhere to mope about it. She just deals with it and moves on, just like a normal, well-adjusted person who runs around in a purple Bat-suit is wont to do.

When he first came on the scene, I fucking hated Damian Wayne. No, I didn’t just hate him. I fucking hated him. Expletive needed. He was this whiny, bratty, next to useless twerp who, yes, kicked Tim’s ass, but he also threatened Alfred. In my eyes, no one with a soul could want to hurt Alfred. And then his dad died. Damian teamed up with Dick and oh my god, that was the best. I started buying Bat-titles. Me. Batman and Robin hardly ever disappointed me. I mean, you guys know. You were here. You remember. Because while Dick was a fantastic Batman, Damian was a flawless Robin. He held himself to the highest of standards, learned from his mistakes, and started to crack wise. He even formed a kinship with everyone else in the Family (except Tim). And now…I don’t like reboot Damian. It’s like everything Dick was trying to teach him is slowly slipping away. He’s being more ruthless now. Why? In an act of defiance? Because he wants his brother back? Tell us what you want, Damian! We will try to give it to you! Also, hello, Bruce. Your child likes cats, and you bought him a dog. Wake the hell up.

If my body wasn’t telling me that I’m very tired, this would probably be longer. I’m sorry, Carrie Kelly fans, but I will not be discussing her this evening. I didn’t like the only books she was ever in, so I only ever read them once, to say that I had. And while I’d like to talk about Colin, technically, Abuse isn’t a Batkid, just a kid associated with Damian. Maybe some day, if Damian is ever allowed to age, we’ll have more Robins. But for now, we have a Nightwing, a Red Hood, a Spoiler, a Red Robin, a Batgirl, a Black Bat, and yes, a Robin. And I think we can all be content with them.

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I’m happy with this week’s haul. This worries me.

It’s that time again! Sorry to sound like an awful children’s program, but I’m a little excited about this weeks lineup. Hopefully, some of my excitement is rubbing off on you, and you decide to read onward.

As always, Flashpoint minis and tie-ins will be reviewed in one block.

I’m not sure how much I enjoy Emperor Aquaman. I mean, it’s an Aquaman book, that should speak for itself. I just don’t care for the guy. But lately, it’s like the universe has been trying to force me to like him. Killing off Garth, elevating Mera to new levels of kickass…it’s honestly getting hard to be able to say, “Fuck everyone that lives below the ocean, land is where the cool people live.” And don’t get me wrong, there are definitely some things about this title that make me rage (Tara Markov and Helena Bertinelli are both Female Furies that serve Wonder Woman?! England is essentially a male concentration camp?!), but it’s just, it’s not bad. I feel so conflicted.
It seems to be ‘everyone try and take over the Ravager’ day in the Deathstroke book. Not a great issue, truth be told. There was a big deal made over Slade getting his crew mostly killed, but no big reason as to why we should care. Good first issue, not so good second, the third better be awesome.
I like the Citizen Cold book quite a bit. Lots of cameos from Flash history. For instance, anyone else remember Chunk, the scientist with the black hole in his body? How about Fallout, who powered Iron Heights for a time during the reign of Warden Wolfe? The one thing that really irked me about this issue, and this is a spoiler, is that apparently, yeah, Wally West is dead in this universe. If Flashpoint is supposed to be a gateway to the new 52 come September, does that mean that he’s going to cease to exist? Anyone who knows me knows that I’m not the biggest fan of Wally West but let’s face it, he was always the more compelling Flash.
Fuck the United States government in this world. Fuck it extremely hard in the ear until its collective brain turns to oatmeal. That’s all I have to say about this issue of Booster Gold. I just, I can’t even right now. I can’t.
We now return you to your scheduled programming.

Oh wow. Oh wow. It’s like my eyes and brain had sex with this comic, because holy god. Long, spoiler-filled story short, Hal Jordan isn’t a Green Lantern anymore. Sinestro is. And I, I think I’m going to cry because oh my god were the circumstances just amazing and-
Okay, Geoff. You win. I’ll read a monthly Sinestro book, no problem. You win.
Meanwhile, in Green Lantern Corps…John Stewart killed Mogo. This is the second planet he’s destroyed. Are we focusing on this? Nope, he and a rookie are going to go on a mission to stop war on the planet, get this, Vorrin-Tog. Yup, I’ve got my own planet. Anyway, I like this issue. Green Lantern Corps is supposed to be about Lanterns other than the ones from Sector 2814, and this Qurina character seems interesting. I hope they keep her around.

Batgirl is a consistently good title. Pretty much every issue is worth the cover price, if not more. But what do you get when you have one Batgirl versus five people in super suits? The beginning of an epic team-up. Stargirl, Miss Martian, Bombshell, and Supergirl guest star as what I’ve dubbed ‘team kickassia’. But what I didn’t see coming, for once, was the last page. Someone hired the Reapers to off a guy. The guy? Daddy Brown, of course! As someone who always wanted to see Cluemaster pulled apart by trains, I’m actually pleased by this ending, and where it could go from here.

Red Robin was the second book this week to make me close the book with a resounding ‘What?!’. Okay, so, Cass is still a good guy, Tim wears pints of his own blood on his back, there’s a kid that can fight better, and faster, than Cass, Tam was in love with Tim’s masked identity, and Tim killed Captain Boomerang? That’s one run-on sentence full of WHAT.

I love legacy heroes, and flashback issues. Guess what Birds of Prey is doing this month? It’s time for a trip back to post-War times with Lady Blackhawk and the original Phantom Lady, Sandra Knight, featuring a cameo by the first Dinah Lance. And of course, it’s an arc featuring Nazis. Nazis, to comics, are like the ultimate Earthbound evil, am I right? Anyway, it’s a great issue, though it’s not penned by Gail Simone, but with a cover, and interior art, by Billy Tucci, I don’t care. Can this be the new artist for BoP? Please?

I know I’ve said this before, but I adore Solstice. She’s a nice, normal girl…who happens to have superpowers. She’s a good balance to those angst-buckets who call themselves Teen Titans. Once again, Raven is being a mope. Seriously, what is with this chick? Always spoiling a good time. [Please take note: I’m taking the mick out of Raven because I can; I don’t actually bear any ill will towards the character.] And look, Tim is showing humility! Is it Christmas already?! All joking aside, this was a fantastic issue. I’m looking forward to the relationships that will be established between Solstice and the rest of the Teen Titans…until September, when she’ll be wiped out of existence.

That was this week in comics! I’ve got a bit of a ride ahead of me, so I’ve got to get going now. But I’ll be here again next week, same time, same place. Ta!

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My bunk, I will be in it until further notice

Flashpoint oh Flashpoint, my heart will sing with glee once you are over. Mainly because I have three titles this week that frankly, I don’t want to read. But I’m going to do it. I’m doing it for all of you. Remember me as a saint and a martyr. Or, if nothing else, remember me as a mildly entertaining babe that fell over dead while reading Emperor Aquaman.

Speaking of which…no. No, I’m not starting my day with that. C’mere, Citizen Cold. So to start, it seems Len Snart may not be under the goggles, and Wally works as a driver for his aunt Iris. Who, you may remember, is not actually married to Barry here. Which leaves Len (not Len?) to hit on her. Pfff oh my god Axel Walker. This kid manages to amuse me every time I see him. He’s apparently the ‘annoying’ villain in Iron Heights. Speaking of the other Rogues, Cold seems to be pretty merciless with them, well, at least to a point. He hasn’t actually killed any of them, not even Mirror Master who everyone thinks is dead, not like he does other people who oppose him. Ooh, now that I like. Citizen Cold really is Len Snart, which we find out when we see him watch his sister get arrested on the news after murdering their father. But a redhead in green is watching him. Could it be…Piper? Well, technically. I’m going to come right out and say that this is a fantastic book so far. Scott Kolins was a great choice to be working on a Cold book, and I’m glad to see him back in the game.
Moving right along to, oh god, Deathstroke and the Curse of the Ravager. Surprisingly, not terrible. The general gist is that Slade is searching the world for his missing daughter, Rose, and killing and plundering any ship that gets in his way. Simple enough, and not worthy of my ire. You may pass unharmed, first issue.
I’ve got no real interest in Frankenstein and the Creatures of the Unknown, so I’ll just be passing it by.
Now on to the real stinker. I’m going to be honest, I don’t give a flying fuck about Aquaman. Never have. He’s just not interesting to me. But this book is being written by Tony Bedard, so I’m sort of required to at least give it a look-see. It actually wasn’t that bad. Basic story of political intrigue followed by betrayal, the death of a lover, yadda yadda yadda. Not bad, actually pretty good, but nothing that I haven’t seen before. I mean, Mera’s death was already spoiled by the variant cover to last week’s issue of the main Flashpoint book, so there’s that. I’ll glance through this book when it comes out, but I’m not planning on buying it.

So I read the two Green Lantern movie prequel comics that came out today. I was pleased to see that apparently, Lantern Iolande and Lantern Kol are going to be in the movie along with some of the better-known Lanterns, according to the Kilowog one-shot. The Tomar-Re one-shot was kind of depressing, though.

Continuing with the Flashpoint tie-ins, Booster Gold! And frankly, it kind of stinks. Booster is on the trail of Zoom, and he’s not doing a great job of it. I’ll be happy when, if, Booster Gold gets back to normal.

Stay classy, Red Robin! Swear to god, I like that book less and less as time goes by. So we go from an assassin tourney in Cairo to Tim about to be raped in Russia over the course of a single issue. That Tim Drake, he loves the ladies soooo much. Please note my sarcasm. What’s next?

I may not be happy about Gail Simone being the writer on the new Batgirl series starring Babs, but damn am I pleased with this issue of Birds of Prey. I love it when Secret Six characters interact with the Birds, and Babs using Catman’s affection for Huntress for information was just inspired. Junior will be back, and I’m on the edge of my seat with anticipation.

Damian, what are you doing? That cover is ridiculous. Dami is all, “Nom! I am eating your wrist, brother!” Precious little kitten. In other news, I’m fainting with joy. Literally slumped over in my chair smiling. I can’t even convey just how much I liked this issue. The art…no. But Judd, Judd darling, dearest, sweetest Judd, you’re redeemed. You’ve managed to seamlessly incorporate all the best parts of Morrison’s Jason and your own, while deleting all the terrible, unnecessary stuff. Way to go, you.

I’m going to have to lay down now, the excitement was simply too much for me. See you lovely people another day.

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But, where shall I go for my awesome space adventures NOW?!

Man, I’m not ready for this. I can’t take it. R.E.B.E.L.S. can’t end today. I mean, if it ends, what am I going to do with all of my odd feelings for Claude St. Aubin’s art? What, I ask of you?! Seven books. I can put it at the end. I, I can do this.

Cassandra Cain’s new identity is BlackBat. I think I can handle this.

Okay, Fabian, Lynx is no Catwoman. Bat/Cat rooftop makeouts are not normal. Stop throwing women at Tim in hopes that he will bang him, this is not characterization, and it is not making you look any better. But you get points for the one-sided banter between Tim and Scarab, that was cute. I’m not really feeling this book anymore, I think the only thing that keeps me coming back is Marcus To’s pretty, pretty art.

The most dangerous thing for Batgirl in this issue is a young man’s boner for her. So large is his boner for her, he tells the people she was fighting to steer clear of her, because he is going to be fighting her from now on. Whaaaat? In other news, Wendy and the ghost of Marvin are going to Nanda Parbat! Road trip! Is it bad of me to hope that this leads Wendy to make peace with her condition and not seek rehabilitation? I like her as angry!Babs. It’s certainly made her more useful than before.

So let’s break this down. Zoom can change his age as well as time travel now, making him DC’s new Big Threat; Patty was always in love with Barry, which is why she moved away from him (shocker); Zoom has fap material for the rest of eternity now that he’s killed ‘a’ Barry Allen; Bart and Barry have apparently moved past their family issues and get along now, all in the space of ten or so pages. You know, for an issue leading up to an event, I’m not in any way impressed.

The first issue of Flashpoint left me scratching my head. Take heed, all ye reading this, nothing is as we know it. In one group scene, I literally sat here waving my arms and asking if anyone recognized the other Marvel kids. I mean, I am very stumped. I’ll read this series with one brow cocked, thanks.

Birds of Prey made me almost pee myself on the second to last page. I’m going to be completely honest here, Gail Simone’s brain terrify’s me. I don’t know what corner of her mind Junior sprung from, but I never want to travel down that alley after dark. Yes, Junior is back and more fucked up than ever! I’m going to sit in the corner and rock back and forth for a while now.

…hold that thought! I’ll lose my mind later, time for R.E.B.E.L.S.! I swear, I am going to miss this series like crazy. There were so many good things about it! The writing, the art, Lobo and Strife’s blossoming bromance, Kory’s crotch symbol, Lyrl and Vril being ridiculous, aaah. So many things I just love! Anyway, this final issue comes to a close with L.E.G.I.O.N. triumphing over Starro once and for all, Komand’r claiming Vril’s dick as her property, and possibly having the team show up during the War of the Green Lanterns. DC, please let L.E.G.I.O.N. be a series again. Please let Vril’s last line be a lead-in to a new series. That Tony and Claude are working on. I need this in my life.

That was this week in comics, for me anyway, and…is it just me, or do I always finish these things with a complaint on how hungry I am? Because I’m starving. Dinner time! See you here next week?

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Da na na na na na na na Batfamily!

Ten books! Ten! Obviously, it’s the second week of the month. And not a visible stinker in the lot! Shall we begin?

Okay, if Dragonwing shuts her trap and Glorinth continues being the main focus of the Legion Academy youngsters, I will gladly follow. But poor Power Boy and Lamprey. I mean, I was sort of following their storyline with half a mind (two recruits that have gone far too long without graduating), but their extra years of schooling to be wasted on prison guarding…poor kids. According to the Mysa second feature, next month is going to focus on XS! Jenni returns to Legion, hooray! Ooh, and so do her artists. I am pleased as pie, personally.

So, what the heck is White Knight drowning the Arkham inmates with? Glowing milk? Irradiated semen? What the hell? Backtracking a bit, I swear, I couldn’t stop whimpering ‘BABIES BABIES BABIES’ while reading the Dick and Damian exchange earlier on in the book. It’s as if the Tumblr fandom has been writing all the character growth. Damian is the undeniable star of this book, especially during his fight with Zsasz, and what happens afterwards.

CONFUSION AHOY! This issue starts off with Tim and Kon being boyfriends, and ends with Superboy lying in a ditch after getting the shit beat out of him by Doomsday. What just happened? Well, it may help that this is apparently the fifth part of the Reign of Doomsday storyline. So, I’m not supposed to get it? Okay, let’s go with that.

Red Robin was about faith and God this month. You have one month to redeem yourself, Fabian Nicieza, then this becomes a read-in-store title.

So, wait. Hot Pursuit is an alternate universe Barry Allen that steals speed and time from people in order to power his cosmic motorcycle, and Barry is weirded out by Bart’s existence?
Well, at least the art is pretty.
Also, welcome back, brunette Bart! I’ve missed you so!

So the saga of Booster’s time herpes- okay okay, ‘chronal leprosy’, comes to an end. In the 31st century! Frankly, any time Chris Batista feels like drawing Brainiac 5, I say let him do it. I’ve really grown to adore this art, so, you know.

Have I mentioned that I love Batgirl lately? Because I really love Batgirl. Ramon Bachs can draw this series forever, and I won’t complain at all. Batman Inc really seems to be working well for Batgirl, she’s got her own Cave, her own mini-Oracle, and a purple car! A purple car, you guys! For a chick that started out in a home-swen costume, Steph is really doing well for herself.

When one of my favorite characters from my favorite title makes an appearance in my other favorite title, and they’re both written by my favorite writer, well, this means we’re in for a good issue of Birds of Prey. “What the hell is going on here, Blake?!” Well, obviously makeouts are going on here, Helena. Geez, get with the program. Is it bad that I could ship this? I really have no problem shipping this. Thomas Blake and Helena Bertinelli, the ab-tastic sexypair of the DCU! Aw, too bad the ship has been sunk. Sorta. Help me, fandom!

Pff. Lobo/Smite, brOTP. Man, Tony, why are you bombarding us with excellent space ‘ships when R.E.B.E.L.S. is over as of next month?! How twisted are you? Twisted enough to put Lobo and Smite in a bar, apparently. This can only end in an epic drinking contest, I wager. Ooh Mr. Lyrl ooh. I love all Dox family members forever, thank you. Yup, I was right! Man, if Smite lives through the end of the series, I hope he and Lobo keep in touch. The Main Man needs a pal as badass as he his.

Can I just say one thing? Judd Winick cannot possibly be writing Skeets’ dialogue. It’s far too Giffen-y to have come from him. In this issue of Generation Lost…OMACs! Lots and lots of OMACs! And then an Amazo-like OMAC called OMAC Prime! I am so sick of saying OMAC you have no idea. This was actually a pretty good issue, tell the truth. And it only took 23 issues for me to stop raging at this comic long enough to enjoy it.

Well, that was this week in comics. I have a severe craving for pork fried rice, and also cramps. Get me my red ring! I’m off to destroy the world! But before I do…

This Saturday and Sunday are going to be ridiculous! The annual spring Tate’s Comics tent sale is going on, as well as Florida Supercomics’ first Comic Stock! Incredible deals, both stores are doing a ‘fill a longbox for $35’ type thing, just fun for all ages. Tate’s will be having the FotoRobot again, while FSC is going to have karaoke and a costume contest. I’ll be at both sales Saturday, so keep an eye out!

Catch you folks later, same place as always. Peace out!

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Teddy/Billy shippers, hold onto your shit

Somehow, I managed to wrangle myself ten books, and not all are from DC! One of these is a total surprise to me, mainly because I had no clue that a new Young Avengers mini was running, let alone it having a spinoff one-shot. I’m excited, but also sad. Because Knight and Squire ends today. Ah, well, let’s get to it, shall we?

As always, we start off with Fail Train. I just can’t get into Firestorm storylines. I have no attachment, no affection for the character. Except, apparently the White Lantern is very pleasant to them. Wait, what? What just happened? Heroic sacrifice from..? Okay, the White Lantern? Is a dick. Whatever happened to J’onn?! Is that storyline just…over? I demand the end of that story! No one cares about Firestorm!

The Flash in Superman is Barry, not Wally. Either way, pie is had. Moving on.

So Shrike is really…? Oh man, oh man. This was supposed to be a funny title, what happened here? Do they really have a naked hero called Birthday Girl? I mean, seriously? England, I love you. Never change. Oh my god. Squire, you’re amazing. Brilliant. Remember the truce magic at the pub from issue #1? Well, not even American villains are immune, it seems. You were a hoot and a half, Knight and Squire, I can only hope you’re given another mini, or better yet, an ongoing, soon as possible.

Ever read a comic that just causes you to sigh and shake your head? I haven’t seen any of the new Young Justice show since the third episode, and I’m okay with that. I don’t watch a lot of TV. But this comic is just…confusing to me. The entire other issue, both of them, really, was just a dreamlike state brought on by a G-Gnome that has a crush on Superboy? Well, okay. We’ll go with that. I think I’m going to try and catch up on the show before the next issue, just to be sure.

Adventure Comics as a Legion Academy book…I wasn’t sure how I felt about that before, but I guess I can roll with it well enough. This Hadru kid, I jut want to smack. Glorinth is about as naive as Teen Titans Go Starfire, with about as much power to make her dangerous. And Dragonwing…her look is seriously the only thing about her that I like. The rest of this particular arc seems like it’s going to revolve around Hadru and his genemod, and saving his family from baddies. Eh, I can keep reading, see what happens. Not particularly enthused, though.

Okay, so, this is a story set after Generation Lost? You couldn’t do a couple of stand-alone issues first, Judd? Because some of the dialogue and all of the events are kind of a gigantic spoiler alert. Though Superman initiating a conversation about Kara’s breasts is kind of funny, so you’ve got points for that. The pseudo-sexual dialogue between Kara and Nicco, however, made me squirm uncomfortably. Like, really uncomfortably. A man and a woman can interact without being realted and be friends, Judd. This has happened in the past, you know.

I’m going to be perfectly honest here. Marcus To, your art is ridiculously pretty. Anyway, to the story. This is the conclusion of that Uternet thing and in it, Tim fights the Madmen. Remember them? Psychos that fought Blue Beetle back in the day? Anyway, in the last Crisis, Darkseid got ahold of them and made them into living servers for the Uternet. And apparently, he also made them really…yeah. By the way, the cover with a bunch of men and two women throwing themselves at Tim has nothing to do with the story. It just exists to make people raise eyebrows. Ooh, but what’s this? The Uternet has been shut down…or has it? Lonnie can’t really exist in the real world, but in the Uternet, the coma patient is king.

If Marcus To’s art is too pretty, then Claude St. Aubin’s art is too sexy. I mean, he draws the absolute hottest Lobo to ever roam the hallowed halls of DC. Tony Tony Tony, why’d you have to go and change Lobo’s origin like that? Czarnians were supposed to be peaceful people, and the trait that made Lobo so different was how he was prone to violence. Ah, well. The fact that they all dressed like KISS rejects kinda makes up for the re-origining. Kinda. Man, I just had a thought that gave me chills. In this new origin, all Czarnians can regrow themselves from a single drop of blood. So…what happens when a female Czarnian goes through menstruation? Yoof. And with that thought, I’ll move along.

My first thought upon seeing the team shot in the Young Avengers Children’s Crusade one-shot: Where’s Billy? And Kate and…Tommy? Oh, the shippers are gonna shit. Anyone else pissed that we got to see Billy give Nate mouth-to-mouth before we get to see him kiss Teddy? That’s just kinda messed up. To me. This is a comic that I literally spent half the time leaning back away from the page I was reading. I’ve freaked over YA comics before, but goddamn. Now I need to find backissues of the Children’s Crusade issues before next month. I need to know what happens to my babies.

Twilight Guardian is a consistantly good book. I’m sad that it’s a mini, and that it’s an issue from over. This time around, the Guardian is going over comic samples of a comic based on her, that a publisher has been sending her. Frankly, each is more terrible than the last. Obviously, they’re trying to parody the Big Two’s take on comics, and I find that pretty amusing.

That’s this week. I’m as amazed by the early post as you guys are, honest. But I’m going to be hanging with a friend tonight, so I wanted to post before he got to me. Catch you next week!

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-insert expletive here- YOU JUDD WINICK

Ten books. Ten. Holy shit. And Fail Train isn’t on the lineup. In fact, I’m not expecting any of these to suck. Holy Moley.

Knight and Squire is always good for a chuckle, so- oh my god! Since it’s hard to emote without vocal inflection, that was an indignant yell. This is supposed to be a funny action title, what the hell is the Joker doing in England? Ohh, I’m not pleased.

Okay, lemme be the first to say that I’m a fan of Chemical Kid’s glowing green glasses. Actually, I like the designs of everyone in the new Legion Academy. That doesn’t mean I like their personalities, though. Glorinth seems okay, but Hadru is a ridiculous brat. Dragonwing seems like a bit of a bitch, too. If Adventure Comics is going to be detailing the adventures of the kids in Legion Academy from now on, I could dig it.

…kiss of rage and burning blood? Oh, Guy, you silly boy. Pff, of course the telepaths would bitch while Bleez is trying to help them. Okay, now, maybe a Green Lantern veteran reader can help me; who the heck is Aleesun? Whoever she was, she seemed to mean quite a bit to Guy. Ah well, if no one answers me, I guess I can wait until next issue.

I believe the last issue of R.E.B.E.L.S. ended with someone stealing Tribilus. Except, apparently, Smite wasn’t after Tribilus, he was after Dox. And now Starro has made the Psion homeworld the cornerstone world for his new empire…wow, our universe is fucked! No, really, our universe is fucked. So, you remember how the Psions were cloning things? Well, they’re cloning Czarnians. I guess the only good thing is that Starro is unable to control them. But still, an army of Lobo? This can only end in mass bloodshed and/or sex. Or maybe not. Lobo, you smart bastich. Oh shit! Is Stormdaughter…dead? I hope not, she was a pretty cool character. Ah well, cliffhangers abound.

I’m still a little wary about the Speed Force motorcycle. I mean, it’s a pretty lame idea. But Sam (one of the people that works at my LCS) just offered the suggestion that it could be John Fox, the Flash of the 25th century. But that seems unlikely. For one, John Fox is way too cool to do something as lame as have a Speed Force motorcycle. Then, there’s the existence of the Reverse Flash Task Force. Why would 25th century Central City need both? Methinks John Fox may be no longer in continuity. ‘Elongated Kid’? And it’s a dead old man?
Wut.
So the motorcycle guy is…but…what?! Okay, prediction time. Elongated Kid is the anomaly, and he’s actually Ralph and Sue’s unborn child from an alternate timeline. You heard it here first, folks.

I’m gonna be completely honest, Batman and Robin is all about Robin. Damian is a brat, and we love him for it. He’s even grouchy with a milkshake in one hand and his family all around. You little snit, I love ya. Anyway, the issue starts out with a suicide and ends with lots and lots of glowing bats. It was a good issue, but honestly, every part that didn’t have Damian being a brat sort of made my eyes glaze over. The kid stole the show.

Damn, and here I was hoping that Tim would ditch the condom-cap and stick with the Uternet costume permanently. Have we mentioned that Catman is badass lately? Because he is. When a member of the family that used to beat you up for fun acknowledges that you’re a BAMF, then by god, you’re a BAMF. But this issue isn’t about Catman. It’s about Tim calling Superboy Kon.
No, seriously, he did. Go check, I’ll wait. See it? Ohmygod! Aaand then Damian steals the spotlight in this issue, too. What is it about that kid that makes writers focus on him? Augh, I hate that I love him so much. And then the Calculator was a bomb! There are many bombs! Everybody panic! The art in this issue was fabulous. Marcus To, I give you my blessing to draw teenagers forever.

Batgirl is one of those series’ that just puts you in a good mood from start to finish. I mean, the plot of this issue is that Steph and Klarion (bum bum BUM) the Witch Boy are on a mission to get his familiar laid. No, seriously. I liked the nice little hat tip Klarion gave to his old musical sting, too. Though I am a bit torqued that Teekl has been rebooted to be male. I guess DC was getting tired of all the beastiality jokes. Hold your rotten veggies until the end please, folks.

Dinah, your mom is hot. Meaning no disrespect to the dead, but dayum. I hope Gail Simone never becomes my subconcious. I love her, but she’s way, way too good at making people she writes feel guilty. She’s like nine Jewish mothers and a middle school principals wrapped into one being of infinite power. Oh god, I just gave myself goosebumps at that thought. Current, I hope you die in a fire. He pimp slapped Lady Blackhawk! Who does that?! No one! What the hell?! Wow, Hank, you’re horribly drawn this issue. I mean, wow. The ladies, however, look excellent, especially Dove. I’m really starting to like this character again. What?! Another cliffhanger? Fab.

WINIIIIIIIICK. GOD DAMNIT WHAT THE FUCK.

That was what I excused myself from the comic store to scream outside until my voice broke. Damnit, Judd. Damnit, DC. GOD DAMNIT, MAX LORD. Did the original Blue Beetle kill your puppy? Rape your mother? Is that why you’ve seen to it that everyone that holds the Scarab, that you can get to, must die of a gunshot to the head? As soon as the issue opened, my heart clenched. In a series like this, if there’s a flashback to better times, someone is going to die. Someone is going to die. First issue of Identity Crisis, Ralph was telling Firehawk how he and his wife met. Four pages later, death. But you couldn’t just kill him, could you, asshole? You had to give us hope. Jaime escapes! Jaime gets a signal out so that the rest of the JLI can find him! Power Girl is off to tell the world about how evil Max is! The JLI makes it to Max’s hideout! Jaime says something funny!
DEATH.

Fuck. You. No more. I thought Jaime would be protected, Editorial mandates and what have you. He was a character Infinite Crisis spawned, Dan Didio liked him, fans liked him, he was the first Blue Beetle ever brought to TV. He’s supposed to be on Smallville soon. He has a family that loves him, friends outside of the superheroing set. His little sister ships Boostle. He has a good relationship with both his living parents, and he took his grandma flying once. I, I’m not gonna cry. I refuse to give you the satisfaction. He isn’t dead, this is just the mother of all fakeouts. It had better be.

That was this week in comics. I’m gonna go have dinner, then rock back and forth while clutching my knees and sitting fully clothed in the shower. Peace out.

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