Posts tagged Time Masters

So young, so violent, DAMN that rap music!

Six regular books, the end of a terrible mini, and an annual. What a week we have ahead of us, right! Right?

Oh right, Fail Train. And it’s an Aquaman week, swell. Okay, long story short, Aquaman bitches about Mera betraying him, bitchery, more bitching, loses a hand. Oh, and there was a bit with Deadman and the Hawks and how everyone has to do exactly what the White Ring says or goddamnit, it will end you. Why do I still pick up this book? Why, I ask?

…why does Rip’s mom look like Michelle?! Seriously, blonde woman wearing the Goldstar uniform and- Rani. Oh fuck. No, seriously, OH FUCK. Booster, I think I would prefer it if you banged your sister to you birthing a son from a little girl. I’m going to ignore everything else that happened in this issue and just go quitely freak out.

Damn. I mean, damn, Lobo. I really love watching this guy work. Most people generalize Lobo to be just a stupid thug on the lookout for his next buck, but few people realize that he’s actually a friggin’ genius. Know how he killed most of his people? With a virus that he invented when he was a kid. Remember that before you write him off as violent parody throwback to nineties heroes. Oh, Saturday nights when you can’t remember anything you do the next morning. I’ve never had one myself, but Tanga sure seems to know how to party. I like this mini quite a bit, two parts of it, anyway. Garbageman just doesn’t speak to me.

Okay, just from the cover of JSA: All-Stars, I’m kinda expecting a Silver Age story. Menace of the Puzzlemen? Really? “I like you a lot better when Cyclone is around. I think she soothes your inner jackass.” Oh, Al. I love you, I do. But you probably shouldn’t mock the little nancy boy that can turn your brain over in your head. Honestly, I really do want to know why the third Hourman gave Roxy a violin. It makes for one of those interesting little WTF side stories. I bet she eventually builds herself a robotic body and becomes his wife or something. Ohh, nevermind. She’s Lorna Pemberton now. That’s…cool?

I couldn’t get into the first Legion annual in awhile, I’m sorry to say. Everything about Princess Projectra and the Emerald Empress just makes me yawn. I love most of the female characters in Legion, but, they’ve just never really spoken to me. Soooo…next?

Oh my god Bane, you are simply the most adorable, awkward, gigantic man ever and I love you. But if I had to be a stripper working alongside that squealing Harley Quinn wannabe, I’d probably have killed her ages ago. Aaaand it’s rematch time with the Doom Patrol! You may remember that the Six fought them in their first mini following Villain’s United, and it was pretty kickass. Well, that kickassness has grown exponentially with the new Six versus the new Doom Patrol and, well, I’m kinda banking on it to be another draw. But hey, can we get back to Bane being awkward and adorable now, or do we have to wait another issue for that?

God damn, Talia. I’ve never really liked Ra’s al Ghul or his psychobitch hellspawn daughter, but now I have a legitimate reason. You don’t try to kill Catwoman. You just don’t. It’s a rule of comicdom. There are several untouchable comic women that must always come out okay in the end, and damnit, Catwoman is one of them. As for Harley…I want to see where this is going. I mean, is she actually going to do it, or is she going to lose her nerve at the last second? If I were her…but I’m not, so I guess I’ll just have to wait a month to find out.

I’m going to come out and say it right now, I think the Master-Hunter is Simon. It’s got to be. Also, incest! Kind of. That’s something that bugs me with Superboy and his relationships. After Tana Moon died, that scientist chick latched onto him. And after that, almost directly after that, he started dating Wonder Girl. Now that Cassie has been canned, he’s pretty much shown that he plans to, at some point, go out with Lori Luthor. The kid does things way too fast for my taste. Take a little time to heal, then go put the moves on your cousin, Kon.

That was this week in comics. Now, for something not exactly comics-related but still sort of, what would y’all think of me starting a new segment focusing on episodes of Young Justice to be released every Friday? I already liveTweet during the show, but would anyone prefer an actual review? Try and get back to me on that. This is ToG, signing off.

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I miss your ginger hair and the way you used to stab me.

Ten books, including one I’d thought was cancelled and two that it’s gonna pain me to read. Well, let’s get this over with.

Fail train, why are you always finding new ways to underwhelm me? I mean, look at this first page. The picture! It’s made of water! Ooooh! Geoff Johns, are you some kind of sorcerer?! /sarcasm. So, I just noticed, DC. You don’t really like young black heroes, do you? Or at least, you don’t like having them in large quantities. Last Teen Titans storyline, you effectively got rid of iconic Milestone character Static by depowering him, and as I don’t follow Justice Society, only JSA All-Stars (I go to wherever Cyclone is, thank you), it’s been awhile since I’ve seen Lightning or Jakeem Thunder in a story. And now we have the rise of Aqualad into prominent storylines, plus his inclusion in the animated show…Dan, listen to me. Listen closely. It’s not racial equality if you’ve only got one of every other race amid a horde of white guys. Oh look, Black Lantern Firestorm can pick up the white lantern. This character wouldn’t be half as annoying if he didn’t speak like a frat boy circa 1997. Huh, so Mera isn’t Jackson’s mom? Good to know. I guess it explains a couple of things, too. But wait a minute, if Black Manta is Jackson’s biological father, then who’s the dude in the rubber raft with his mom? Unless…no, not rape baby! Really? Really, Geoff?! That’s only the most cliched character background ever. Sorry, man, but I think you may have finally lost it. Aaand then the kid throws a tantrum and we get a mini-episode of My Crappy Life from Aquaman. I will say one thing in praise of the artist. For a shitty story, you sure ended it on one hell of a splash shot. Literally. As he is on a wave-crashed rock. Oh wait, book isn’t over? Three pages of Firestorm left?

Goddamnit, fail train. Well, end of story. End of company. It’s all over. Two idiot kids destroyed the universe because they couldn’t stop arguing. See this, DC? It’s my middle finger. Sit on it and rotate.

Oh, Emerald Warriors. I swear, sometimes, when the night is darkest and the comics suck the most, only you can pull me back into a good mood. I made the mistake of glancing through Time Masters directly after reading Brightest Day, and my rage was so palpable, I was practically spitting blood. So I decided to do something to calm myself down and picked up a bit of Gardnery goodness. It wasn’t a particularly happy issue, what with the deaths of several Green Lantern recent grads, but it was a good way to showcase just how much of a softie Kilowog is when it comes to his students. Kilowog was the drill instructor for the Green Lantern Corps for many years. He’s trained all the Green Lanterns from Earth as well as, I’m assuming, Sinestro, and he’s damn good at his job. But it comes at a price. He’s connected to every rookie he teaches, because it is his responsibility to teach them everything that they need to survive. And with the events of the last three years or so, he’s been seeing a lot of his kids bite the big one. It’s pretty easy for me to see past the main plotline (Guy keeping himself and several unwanted others busy so that he doesn’t go completely Red and kill his best friend/bro, a prophecy spelled out in the red blood weeks before he started this jaunt) and into the emotional subtilities. Peter J. Tomasi is another GL writer that I hope sticks around for awhile, if only because he’s so good at tapping into the cores of the beings of those he writes. Rock on, PJT.

Does no one remember Hunter Zoloman exists? Is that it? I’m sorry, I’m jumping the gun here, let me backtrack. So the two evil magic people have been defeated, we get to see the testing of the atom bomb, I get a flashback to something evil!Skeets said during 52 (“and what do you think my outer shell was made off, burned off a corpse in a shallow grave..?”), daddy Booster and MiniRip are adorable, some secondary plotline with Supernova (who is probably older Booster), and then this! Okay, so, Professor Zoom is a time traveler. I get this. But Zoom exists outside of the damn time stream! So, logically, shouldn’t more people run into Zoloman than Thawne? It’s just another case of a good legacy character being completely discarded now that the original is back in action.

Gen 13 is an odd book for me. I’d never read a single issue before Wildstorm got the rights to it, and the first time I read the Wildstorm book was when I picked up the first two trades featuring the Gail Simone-penned issues. But I liked it enough to pick it up in comic form, and now it’s approaching 40 issues. Since I’ve started reading, the team has splintered, come back together, gained new members, had a love triangle, had a lesbian love triangle, and survived the end of the world. Since issue one, Burnout has been my favorite character. And now he’s radioactive and leaving. A new arc starts next month. I don’t know if I’ll be reading it.

Latest issue of the main Batman series summary: tl;dr, Riddler is evil again, Enigma gets a reintroduction and hopefully a backstory.

See, I’ve realized something. With a series like Velocity, I’m willing to wait months for the kind of quality they put out. Rocafort and Gho are a stunning art team, and holy shit, Ron Marz. Even your terrible puns that Carin thinks, but doesn’t say out loud, are precious. But why would you end it like that? On a cliffhanger?! Oh, and surprise, apparently this isn’t an ongoing, it’s just another mini. One issue from over. Everybody say it with me now, FRAG!

Supergirl #59: The issue in which Cat Grant wasn’t a heinous bitch for once. So, Winslow Schott, the Toyman, has a son. The fact that someone would actually breed with DC’s number one pedo disturbs me beyond all reason. And then there’s the fact that we never see her face. Seems like it’ll come up in later issues, so I’ll keep my eyes peeled. But yes, with the arrival of the Dollmaker, DC has a new Crazy Ginger on its hands, and this one is like, twelve. Hm, with the reintroduction of Enigma in Batman, Velocity, and the Death of Oracle storyline starting up in Birds of Prey, I think it would be a safe gamble to officially declare this Ginger Week. I wonder if Dollmaker could ever be considered an enemy for Robin, because that would be a pretty awesome fight. Think about it. If Pyg and his Dollotrons should team up with Dollmaker and his “friends”, Robin would be royally boned. Unless he brings his BFF Abuse into the fray, then he may stand a chance. No, I’m not over that. How did I get from talking about Supergirl to talking about Robin? Obviously, I am some kind of sorcerer. Anyway, long story short, Cat Grant punches out a preteen, Christmas is saved. God bless us everyone.

So, here we are once again. I don’t like reading the main, Johns-penned Green Lantern series. He is entirely too obsessed with making Hal Jordan look like some kind of comic book Messiah, which is ridiculous. Everyone knows that comic book Jesus is clearly Batman. But I read the book anyway. because I greatly enjoy the parts of it where Hal is not present. I like Saint Walker. I like Atrocious. To an extent, I even like Sinestro. Sadly, as the main focus of this issue is Parallax taking over Barry Allen, most of the issue is their interaction. And really, even though I know he doesn’t mean to do it, I don’t think I’ve seen a more poignant love letter from Hal to Barry outside of fanfiction…ever. “He’s my best friend, Parallax! Take me instead! You know you want me! Here, I’ll help you out by hanging myself on this big ol’ cross…”

…Una Nemo called Batman gay. This is the greatest day of my life. Am I dead? Is this heaven? Holy shit. I’m not going to lie and say I’ve never been referred to as a ‘crazy girlfriend’, but god damn. Absence makes every psycho ex out there look like a saint. She’s running around, cutting off bits of the women Bruce Wayne banged because she wants him to miss her. This is not a good way to make the heart grow fonder, Absence.

I’ve been looking forward to the “Death of Oracle” storyline for a while now, and this first chapter really delivers. Gotta say, nothing says ‘lady-bonding’ like an outing to a strip club. Zinda is probably my favorite Bird, on attitude alone. “But, but he’s a cowboy!” That girl will kick your ass and make you like it, bless her. Gail, you’ve done well.

That’s this week in comics, ladies and gents. I seem to desperately require some hot chocolate, so I’m gonna go do that now. The rest of you in more Northern climates, I hope you’re staying warm! This is ToG signing out. Peace.

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Better late than not at all!

My comic shop was shorted all the issues of Gotham City Sirens, thank you, Diamond, so this week is going to be tiny. Oh, wait. What’s that, Marvel? You say you started a new Namor series last month, and the second issue is out today? Well, I guess that settles it. Instead of one serving of GCS, y’all are getting a double scoop of Namor-y goodness!

Let’s get things rolling with the third, sigh, scintilating issue of Time Masters: Vanishing Point. Time Masters, why do I still read you? You’re not entertaining, you don’t tie into The Return of Bruce Wayne in any way except to mention that he’s in the past, and Booster doesn’t have any really good lines. In fact, the only decent parts of you involve tiny!Rip and Poppa Booster. Still, three down, three to go. Let’s just keep chugging along.

Action Comics is really good lately, for some reason. I mean, we’ve gotten to see sexy!Lex, smart!Lex, twisted!Lex, dead!Lex…wait, what was that last one? And who’s that girl? Can it be? Is it she? Unholy crapballs, it’s Death! I know it’s terrible to say that I love death but…I love Death. She’s cute, she’s smart, she’s quirky…and she’s Death. A timeless Gaiman character, soon to be hitting the big screen. Action Comics, I am not disappoint. So, does that mean Lex is dead? Or is he going to pull a Hob Gadling-esque deal with Death? Is he gonna hit on Death? Outsmart her? Oh, I’m a-tingle with the possibilities. And the second-feature is actually interesting! Mainly because it features Jimmy Olsen, who is so uncool, he’s awesome, and a badly-drawn version of Smallville’s Chloe Sullivan. The second-feature storyline is going to be about an exciting week in Jimmy’s life. Hmmmm, I think I can hop aboard this story and ride it home.

Teen Titans is famous for their death-as-a-plot-device issues, and it makes me happy to see that they’ve deviated from that path. Kinda. With the end of the ‘Eclipsed’ storyline, we’re down four Titans: Miss Martian is in a coma, Static is depowered, and Bombshell and Aquagirl are lost at sea. Yeah, Aquagirl is lost at sea. Plot device? Maybe. Oh, and we get to see Cassie and Kon post-coitus. Eeew. Uh, no offense. The second feature was basically like watching a teen drama with magic and demons: betrayal, secrets, and the Big Bad is never really down for the count.

What two things would you never expect to see together? Ice cream and soy sauce? Maybe. A straight guy at a Twilight movie of his own free will? Yeah, that’s pretty unlikely. Namor and vampires?

Did I read that right? Namor? Pointy-eared, pale-skinned, speedo-wearing king of the seas and…those fangy bitey folks? Apparently, this new series spins directly out of a pre-existing Xmen plot (Namor’s on the Xmen, now? I thought he liked to stick close to the Fantastic Four?), and Namor’s mission is to find the severed head of Count Dracula which was thrown into the ocean by the, dear lord, sea vampires…who have a vampire squid. No, I’m not making this shit up. Anyway, the first two issues seem pretty sound. We get to see Namor being all kingly, which is nice, and the art is just amazing. I can give this thing another look or two, see how it turns out.

That’ll be all for this week. Sorry that it’s technically going up on Thursday, I had a few personal problems that I had to sort through. See you here next week?

Oh, and a just a reminder to the citizens of Broward County: West Regional Library is having its Manga and Comic Convention on October 9th from one to four, and The ToG Blog has a table! Well, I have a vendor table…but yay, free advertising! Don’t miss it!

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Hey, guess what I did yesterday?!

Okay, I kinda lied to you last week. This week may not be as epically huge as I lead you to believe. I mean, I’m going over seven titles, but it’s not like the ten-title week I was expecting. Stupid title delays. Anyway, let’s get into it!

Time Masters: Vanishing Point. I didn’t want to read this book. I really didn’t. It’s not very good. It has Booster playing a secondary role as an idiot. And, to top it all off, it has a lot of Rip’s magical inner monologue. The only up points are getting to see Daddy Booster in the opening pages of each issue.

Legion was weird this month. Even dead, Darkseid is still being passed around like a joint at a Crazybones concert, who knew? On the upside, we get to see Garth and Ayla being badass, so that’s cool. I love all the different versions of the Legion, but I’m really beginning to miss Reboot Legion. Maybe it’s because that’s the one I grew up reading, but it just seemed…I dunno. More fun. That’s another thing. Gates has been used several times in the series, but where the hell is Jenni?! Is DC trying to discard all speedsters that aren’t Barry Allen? No, because Jesse Chambers is running around in both JSA titles and Justice League, and Bart Allen has been in the Teen Titans for a few months. Argh, I hate trying to inject logic into comics. Next title!

Hey, remember Superman: Secret Origins? Written by Geoff Johns, drawn by Gary Frank? No? No wonder! Issue five came out almost six months ago. Well, it’s finally over. After a long, long, Flash:Rebirth-esque wait. Final opinion?

Welcome back, Geoff.

Your blatant favoritism towards Hal Jordan makes me hurl. The way you depicted Inertia and the Rogues in Rogue’s Revenge made me curl up in a ball and cry. But this…this is Wonderland quality. This is Stars and S.T.R.I.P.E. quality. A fitting end to a series I thought would never finish. Way to not half-ass it at the finish line, man.

Action Comics was actually pretty good this month. I mean, it’s still starring Lex Luthor, it’s pretty much assured to be at least halfway decent. But a Luthor/Deathstroke fight? And a Superboy second feature? Oh yeah, I’m digging this book. Actually, the second feature seems to be a lead-in to the new Superboy series starting in November. Am I the only one hoping for a cameo from Rex and Roxie Leech? Yes? Aw, shoot.

I love Gotham City Sirens for many reasons. The consistantly good writing. The consistantly good art. The intriguing covers that sometimes border on fetishist (covers 3-5 and the recent cover 15 show that quite well) and religious iconoclasm (easily the Pieta remake on cover 13). But what I love most about this book is that above all, it’s about three women whose binding interest was once crime, and now they’re genuinely friends. Harley’s little speech to Ivy after she’s been beaten nearly to death just got to me. Selina and Harley tried to reason with Ivy when they got to her, while most other vigilantes would simply focus on taking her out. I’m so glad this book exists, and I eagerly await the next story a- The return of Talia al Ghul?! Oh crap. How are you going to steer us through the storm of angst and daddy issues that come floating along with Talia’s every step, Tony? I guess we’ll just have to wait and see.

New Generation Lost! Man, this issue had everything. Political speeches! Daring escapes! A possible love connection forming between Gavril and Bea! Booster being smart! Bea…cursing for no reason! Tora…whining like a bitch. Sigh, the second Giffen-free issue. I hope this doesn’t become a trend But there is one little element that’s conspicuously missing from this book, and that would be Max Lord himself. Seriously, we don’t see hide or hair of him until the very last page. Is this a lead-in to some answers? Why are his mind-control powers deadly when used on one person at a time, but he was able to make the entire world forget about him with extinguishing the human race? Did he actually kill the woman who made Power Girl’s company bankrupt? When are you guys going to stop fucking around and reveal that Ted is secretly alive? The answers (?) next issue! Hopefully!

Teen Titans was…weird this month. Now I love the Teen Titans. I do. But…the new scientist chick they have in Titans Tower watched Miss Martian kill her beloved husband while being controlled by the Wyld, then did some kind of memory-wipe psychic whammy on M’gann so that she doesn’t remember the fight? What, does this lady have instant-retcon powers or something? Can I get some sort of an explanation, DC? I mean, there were other things in this issue that bugged me (Wyld considers Raven its mom? M’gann can astral project now? Kon and Cassie made out in the middle of a crisis why?), but that kind of took the cake. And the second feature wasn’t much better. I’m still pissed that Zach’s fondest wish was to be married to his never-before-mentioned dead girlfriend. At least Eddie got a mention, sort of. Zach, you don’t get to talk about Eddie. You were a horrible boyfriend, not even showing up to his funeral. I WENT THROUGH THAT ISSUE TEN TIMES. You weren’t in it. Oh well, at least Lori isn’t acting like a bitch anymore. She plays nice with the rest of the group just in time for an express trip into hell, fun!

And that’s your week in comics. Well, that’s my week in comics. Next week should be a big one. Hopefully. Because if Flash is pushed back one more week, I’m gonna snap. Peace out, you guys.

BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE!

As of yesterday, The ToG Blog has officially gotten onto Facebook! Instead of waiting until Wednesdays to update you all on the little things that are going on in the comic world, I’ll be able to fill you in instantly with links, pictures, and other interesting tidbits to make your day. AND THAT’S NOT ALL! You can follow me personally on Twitter! touchofgrey37 I try to follow all the major writers and artists on Twitter, so you’re bound to see some interesting retweets!

http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#!/touchofgrey37

http://twitter.com/touchofgrey37

Well, that’s about enough network pandering. Peace out, you guys! I think I smell broccoli cooking, yum.

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