Posts tagged Velocity

I have a lot of feelings about the JLI

Seven books this week, including the end of two excellent series. Oh, and Fail Train makes its final stop today. Shall we begin?

“I…I have this instinct, Jason. To burn the black.”
WHOA GEOFF. I just, I can’t even…the hell you say?! Okay, so, long story short, Swamp Thing is going to be the White Lantern, but in order for him to live again, Dove had to die, which is why Digger’s job was to kill her. Except it was Hawk’s job to catch the boomerang he would throw, which he failed. Because the White Energy knew that Boston and Dove would fall in love, and he’d throw himself in front of her, dying and becoming Deadman again, with a twist! Dove, apparently, can see and hear him. This…will make for interesting fandom conversations about their sex life. Aw, and Hawkgirl is officially dead too, it seems. She’s the wind, now. Oh, and John Constantine is back in the main DCU? Yesssss! Now let’s just hope he has some guest time in the Zatanna series.

Action Comics is back to being about Superman. My interest, it wanes.

Completely uninterested in Batman Inc. Next book.

And we’re back to War of the Green Lanterns! In this sixth part, John shoots things, Guy is an asshole, Kyle is adorable, and Hal is…boring. Can I just mention that Entity-infused Guardians is one of the creepiest things I’ve ever seen in a comic?

The fourth issue of Velocity marks the end of the mini that I’d assumed was supposed to be an ongoing. Ah, well. It was well-written, had a good number of twists, and I would sell my soul to own an actual page of Kenneth Rocafort’s amazing art. It was a good series, and I hope to pick it up if and when it comes out in trade.

Okay, not gonna lie. The last two pages, I was screaming inside. My horror at who the boy from the crime scene could have been was sort of overwhelming me. But everyone rest easy, it’s not Inertia. In other news, Bart is making a good effort at stealing the title of Emo Teen of the DCU away from Raven. He just has a lot of feelings, okay?! A speed intervention has never been so interesting, especially because it’s not related to drugs.

I just have a lot of feelings about the end of Generation Lost. For one, Max won. He’s got Checkmate. The world remembers him as he was, but he’s got Checkmate. Then there’s the fact that Nate has been flung somewhere in history. Where did he go? Will he be back? And then there’s the fact that Justice League International is going to be a series again. My heart literally jumped into my throat, and I got the hiccups. I was so excited, I got hiccups. I just…I really have a lot of feelings about this, you guys, and I don’t know how to put them all into words right now.

Well, that was this week in comics. I don’t know what I’m going to do now, probably just wander around in a haze for a little bit until my excitement at the prospect of a new JLI series wears off. Same time next week? Groovy. ToG out.

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I miss your ginger hair and the way you used to stab me.

Ten books, including one I’d thought was cancelled and two that it’s gonna pain me to read. Well, let’s get this over with.

Fail train, why are you always finding new ways to underwhelm me? I mean, look at this first page. The picture! It’s made of water! Ooooh! Geoff Johns, are you some kind of sorcerer?! /sarcasm. So, I just noticed, DC. You don’t really like young black heroes, do you? Or at least, you don’t like having them in large quantities. Last Teen Titans storyline, you effectively got rid of iconic Milestone character Static by depowering him, and as I don’t follow Justice Society, only JSA All-Stars (I go to wherever Cyclone is, thank you), it’s been awhile since I’ve seen Lightning or Jakeem Thunder in a story. And now we have the rise of Aqualad into prominent storylines, plus his inclusion in the animated show…Dan, listen to me. Listen closely. It’s not racial equality if you’ve only got one of every other race amid a horde of white guys. Oh look, Black Lantern Firestorm can pick up the white lantern. This character wouldn’t be half as annoying if he didn’t speak like a frat boy circa 1997. Huh, so Mera isn’t Jackson’s mom? Good to know. I guess it explains a couple of things, too. But wait a minute, if Black Manta is Jackson’s biological father, then who’s the dude in the rubber raft with his mom? Unless…no, not rape baby! Really? Really, Geoff?! That’s only the most cliched character background ever. Sorry, man, but I think you may have finally lost it. Aaand then the kid throws a tantrum and we get a mini-episode of My Crappy Life from Aquaman. I will say one thing in praise of the artist. For a shitty story, you sure ended it on one hell of a splash shot. Literally. As he is on a wave-crashed rock. Oh wait, book isn’t over? Three pages of Firestorm left?

Goddamnit, fail train. Well, end of story. End of company. It’s all over. Two idiot kids destroyed the universe because they couldn’t stop arguing. See this, DC? It’s my middle finger. Sit on it and rotate.

Oh, Emerald Warriors. I swear, sometimes, when the night is darkest and the comics suck the most, only you can pull me back into a good mood. I made the mistake of glancing through Time Masters directly after reading Brightest Day, and my rage was so palpable, I was practically spitting blood. So I decided to do something to calm myself down and picked up a bit of Gardnery goodness. It wasn’t a particularly happy issue, what with the deaths of several Green Lantern recent grads, but it was a good way to showcase just how much of a softie Kilowog is when it comes to his students. Kilowog was the drill instructor for the Green Lantern Corps for many years. He’s trained all the Green Lanterns from Earth as well as, I’m assuming, Sinestro, and he’s damn good at his job. But it comes at a price. He’s connected to every rookie he teaches, because it is his responsibility to teach them everything that they need to survive. And with the events of the last three years or so, he’s been seeing a lot of his kids bite the big one. It’s pretty easy for me to see past the main plotline (Guy keeping himself and several unwanted others busy so that he doesn’t go completely Red and kill his best friend/bro, a prophecy spelled out in the red blood weeks before he started this jaunt) and into the emotional subtilities. Peter J. Tomasi is another GL writer that I hope sticks around for awhile, if only because he’s so good at tapping into the cores of the beings of those he writes. Rock on, PJT.

Does no one remember Hunter Zoloman exists? Is that it? I’m sorry, I’m jumping the gun here, let me backtrack. So the two evil magic people have been defeated, we get to see the testing of the atom bomb, I get a flashback to something evil!Skeets said during 52 (“and what do you think my outer shell was made off, burned off a corpse in a shallow grave..?”), daddy Booster and MiniRip are adorable, some secondary plotline with Supernova (who is probably older Booster), and then this! Okay, so, Professor Zoom is a time traveler. I get this. But Zoom exists outside of the damn time stream! So, logically, shouldn’t more people run into Zoloman than Thawne? It’s just another case of a good legacy character being completely discarded now that the original is back in action.

Gen 13 is an odd book for me. I’d never read a single issue before Wildstorm got the rights to it, and the first time I read the Wildstorm book was when I picked up the first two trades featuring the Gail Simone-penned issues. But I liked it enough to pick it up in comic form, and now it’s approaching 40 issues. Since I’ve started reading, the team has splintered, come back together, gained new members, had a love triangle, had a lesbian love triangle, and survived the end of the world. Since issue one, Burnout has been my favorite character. And now he’s radioactive and leaving. A new arc starts next month. I don’t know if I’ll be reading it.

Latest issue of the main Batman series summary: tl;dr, Riddler is evil again, Enigma gets a reintroduction and hopefully a backstory.

See, I’ve realized something. With a series like Velocity, I’m willing to wait months for the kind of quality they put out. Rocafort and Gho are a stunning art team, and holy shit, Ron Marz. Even your terrible puns that Carin thinks, but doesn’t say out loud, are precious. But why would you end it like that? On a cliffhanger?! Oh, and surprise, apparently this isn’t an ongoing, it’s just another mini. One issue from over. Everybody say it with me now, FRAG!

Supergirl #59: The issue in which Cat Grant wasn’t a heinous bitch for once. So, Winslow Schott, the Toyman, has a son. The fact that someone would actually breed with DC’s number one pedo disturbs me beyond all reason. And then there’s the fact that we never see her face. Seems like it’ll come up in later issues, so I’ll keep my eyes peeled. But yes, with the arrival of the Dollmaker, DC has a new Crazy Ginger on its hands, and this one is like, twelve. Hm, with the reintroduction of Enigma in Batman, Velocity, and the Death of Oracle storyline starting up in Birds of Prey, I think it would be a safe gamble to officially declare this Ginger Week. I wonder if Dollmaker could ever be considered an enemy for Robin, because that would be a pretty awesome fight. Think about it. If Pyg and his Dollotrons should team up with Dollmaker and his “friends”, Robin would be royally boned. Unless he brings his BFF Abuse into the fray, then he may stand a chance. No, I’m not over that. How did I get from talking about Supergirl to talking about Robin? Obviously, I am some kind of sorcerer. Anyway, long story short, Cat Grant punches out a preteen, Christmas is saved. God bless us everyone.

So, here we are once again. I don’t like reading the main, Johns-penned Green Lantern series. He is entirely too obsessed with making Hal Jordan look like some kind of comic book Messiah, which is ridiculous. Everyone knows that comic book Jesus is clearly Batman. But I read the book anyway. because I greatly enjoy the parts of it where Hal is not present. I like Saint Walker. I like Atrocious. To an extent, I even like Sinestro. Sadly, as the main focus of this issue is Parallax taking over Barry Allen, most of the issue is their interaction. And really, even though I know he doesn’t mean to do it, I don’t think I’ve seen a more poignant love letter from Hal to Barry outside of fanfiction…ever. “He’s my best friend, Parallax! Take me instead! You know you want me! Here, I’ll help you out by hanging myself on this big ol’ cross…”

…Una Nemo called Batman gay. This is the greatest day of my life. Am I dead? Is this heaven? Holy shit. I’m not going to lie and say I’ve never been referred to as a ‘crazy girlfriend’, but god damn. Absence makes every psycho ex out there look like a saint. She’s running around, cutting off bits of the women Bruce Wayne banged because she wants him to miss her. This is not a good way to make the heart grow fonder, Absence.

I’ve been looking forward to the “Death of Oracle” storyline for a while now, and this first chapter really delivers. Gotta say, nothing says ‘lady-bonding’ like an outing to a strip club. Zinda is probably my favorite Bird, on attitude alone. “But, but he’s a cowboy!” That girl will kick your ass and make you like it, bless her. Gail, you’ve done well.

That’s this week in comics, ladies and gents. I seem to desperately require some hot chocolate, so I’m gonna go do that now. The rest of you in more Northern climates, I hope you’re staying warm! This is ToG signing out. Peace.

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It’s that time again, kiddies!

Epic week, you guys! And not all DC, either. Mostly DC, but not all, so that’s a nice changeup. Ready? Let’s go!

James Robinson, you magnificent bastard. Back in my youth, you were one of my idols. Starman was one of those books that I could show to my mom and go, “Look! It’s not all just beat-’em-up flashy spandex stuff!” You had style and substance. Then, in an act of the ultimate betrayal, you wrote a little series called Cry for Justice. Good lord, did that suck donkey balls. I had to read my Starman books twice to get the taste of that stinker out of my mouth. I swore I’d never read anything of yours again. And now, you’re writing Justice League. With Mikaal Tomas and Jesse Quick.

Well played, Robinson. Well played.

Wow. Really? Really, Legion? Okay, long story short, the basic theme of Legion of Superheroes for the past couple of months is this: Fuck you and the horse you rode in on, Green Lantern Corps, we don’t want any. Earth-Man has made a surprising heel-face-turn, and is apparently banging Tasmia. And Brainy continues to be adorkable, not to mention incredibly well drawn. You go, B5.

So, remember last week when I cursed Deadpool for being so amusing? I’m back on that vein of thinking. Deadpool Team-Up is one of those books, akin to Brave and the Bold on crack, that just amuses the crap out of me whenever I pick it up. It’s a done-in-one book, so I don’t have to follow it regularly, but it’s Deadpool. Why wouldn’t I want to pick it up regularly? Anyway, this issue features many jokes, fancy rope tricks, and two heads in a jar. Enjoy.

Winick, Winick, Winick. I swear to god, man. You’ve decimated one of the only little things I take pleasure in. I love reading about Power Girl. I love her to death. She’s a woman that plays hardball like the men, and gets a whole lot of shit for doing it. She’s one of my heroes, if only because she’s bold enough to wear a leotard with a giant hole in the front and got along really well with Ted Kord. This wasn’t a good issue. Secret identities are compromised, a loose end is taken care of…this all smells like evil!Max to me. But I guess I’ll find that out later.

Oh man, I do love Supergirl this month. I know I’ve made my opinion of Bizarro pretty clear, but this arc may just be turning my hate for him and his awful way of speaking around. Mainly because Bizarrogirl is just so…she’s adorable! She’s like all the good things in Silver Age Supergirl turned into a Bizarro! I can’t help but love her, you guys. And guess what? The next issue is going to feature the Man of Steel himself! Wowzers!

And just when I thought Green Lantern Corps couldn’t get any better! See, I have this theory about Tony Bedard. I think he was born on another planet, and that’s why he’s so awesome at writing space comics. Anyway, the Alpha Lantern arc has finally concluded and holy crap, did I not see that ending coming. Pick up the book. This is no longer a request. Even if you absolutely loathe everything about the Green Lantern franchise, pick up this book. You won’t regret it.

In Generation Lost this time around, we get to see exactly how far Max’s mind-whammy extends itself. You can’t see him. You can’t think about him. You can’t form a plan of attack to stop him. Your mind just won’t let you. And that line of thinking right there? I just got the most wicked case of goosebumps. How do you fight something you can’t even imagine? Brr. Next book, please!

How many months has it been between the first issue of Velocity and the second? Three? Four? No matter, the second issue is here now, and good god. The writing is superb and that art…I want Kenneth Rocafort drawing speed lines and small action panels for the rest of his life. Ever wonder what happens when you plug a genius’ brain into a speedster’s body? I think they explored that in an episode of JLU, but Interface and Velocity make it work just as well. Great issue, I’m giving it a 4 of 5, with a point taken off for being so damned late.

Speaking of late books and speedsters, new Flash issue! Can someone please tell me how a series about the fastest man alive is so damned so to come out? Ahh, it’s worth it, though. The art is fantastic, as always, and the dialogue is only corny on occasion. And we get to see Digger’s White Lantern vision, which is pretty awesome. An overall nice issue.

Well, that’s all for this week. But before I go, funny story. I think the universe is trying to tell me something about Namor. Yesterday, I found the Namor action figure I thought I’d lost in a box I was planning on just tossing out. Today, I saw several different posters with Namor on them. The universe wants me to keep an eye out for Marvel books with Namor in them, you guys, and I think I’m gonna listen. Peace out!

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Rage Kitties, Speedsters, ohh I am LOVING this week!

This is going to be a rather small week, as I’m only grabbing four books and- oh, wait. Huzzah, my comic shop got in the thrid issue of Return of Bruce Wayne! Oh, and what’s this? The first issue of the new Velocity series from Top Cow? Okay, we’re in business.

Return of Bruce Wayne takes on a nautical theme this month as Bruce rocks around during the golden age of piracy. It…honestly didn’t grip me much. I dunno, I’ve never been a big Batfan, and I think it’s that particular bias that’s holding me back from fully enjoying this series.

Raawr. I rawr at you, new issue of Teen Titans. And not even because of the main story, either. Actually, this plotline with the Wyld’s home dimension is actually pretty neat. And on the outside, we finally get to see Amy and Lorena interact. I smell femyay starting up. Don’t you dare disappoint me, internet. As for the second feature, I’m having a bit of nerdrage. I mean, y’all know my thoughts on how incredibly gay Zachary Zatara has always come across as, right? And now, in his perfect world, no, Eddie isn’t alive. He’s married to his once dead, never before heard of, girlfriend ‘Kate’, and they have twins. What? Why is this? Eat me, second feature.

Green Lantern was full of Rage Kitty this month. Oh, and Lobo. Screw Lobo. We got to see the origin on Dexter aka Dex-Starr, the Rage Kitty. He’s my favorite Lantern, you know. Yeah, even more than Guy Gardner. Sorry, babe. A kitty made of HATE kinda take presedence. Aww, but what a sad origin Dex-Starr has. Poor Rage Kitty. That reminds me, I should probably feed the cat before he attracts a red ring of his own…

It’s the sister versus Sister finale! Last time on Gotham City Sirens, a guardian angel had caused Maggie Kyle to lose her marbles and become obsessed with killing her “posessed” sister, Selina. Oh honey, that’s like a pot calling a kettle black at this point. Anyway, Selina is able to prove herself to her sister and lives to, well, rob another day. But what’s this? The angel hasn’t left Maggie? Oh, I smell future arc…

It’s speedster week! In the latest issue of The Flash…nothing happens. Okay, that’s a lie. We get to see how being brought back to life has affected Digger in the form of his spontaneous black energy boomerangs. We also get to see a lot of Barry, but not a whole ton of Flash. Needless to say, the art is pretty, but the story’s not there. Try again next month, Geoff.

Why did I declare it speedster week? Back in 2007, a publishing company called Top Cow ran a little contest called Pilot Season where they put out 5 individual single-issue books, and two of those books would eventually be published as ongoings. One of them was about a speedster named Velocity, and it won. Fast forward three years. In my hands, I now hold the long-awaited first issue of the Velocity series. Opinion? YES. The art is phenomenal, the story sucked me right in…I know nothing about the Cyberforce series, but now I want to. This is a great series, and I’m not just being speedster-biased. Seriously, check it out.

Well, that’s it for this week, folks. I’ve got to go tend to my own Rage Kitty and maybe catch some grub. This is ToG saying, peace out!

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