Posts tagged DC comics

Lay down your arms, lay down your lives.

August 22, 2013 · Filed under Uncategorized · Tagged , , , , , ,

The word of the week is ‘sacrifice’, ladies and gentlemen. It’s more trendy than you think, in superhero comics. But sacrifice can come in many flavors, and not all of them are obvious the first time around.

As always, we’re kicking ladies’ week off with the cutest little lady in comics, Maxine Baker! Okay, her dad’s here, too. His sacrifice was that of blood, blood unwillingly given to Brother Blood, which gave him access to the Red. Meanwhile, Maxine continues her search for her brother’s soul. While I can’t say that I’m losing interest in this book, the inclusion of the media, truly America’s greatest tier of leech, has been rather irksome. I mean, I go out of my way to ignore celebrity junk in real life, I don’t need to be reminded of it in comics.

Self-sacrifice is a Supergirl tradition, it seems, but this time was different. This Supergirl was different. Honestly, the New 52 Supergirl has been…grating, at times. She’s quite hard to like, and I think that was deliberate. To match her family, I suppose. In this issue of Supergirl, Kara (again, unwillingly) makes the ultimate sacrifice, her flesh dissolved, scrubbed clean of the Kryptonite poisoning, and reconstituted into the flesh of the man the Cyborg Superman once was, Zor-El! Heh. I just…I don’t even know who I’m trying to fool, here. Ever since the H’El on Earth stuff, I’ve been so lost. That’s the thing with crossover books, you get so lost so easily if you don’t follow everything, it’s absurd. I’m not going to drop Supergirl again, not just yet. But this issue has officially sparked warning bells, and that’s not a good thing.

There’s self-sacrifice, and then there’s sacrifice of self. Ignoring your own ideals for the greater good is one of the hardest things a person can do, and that’s why I’ll never take heroes like Batman seriously. The sheer amount of self-righteous bullshit that writers have managed to stuff into one character over the years is overwhelming. Diana knows that there are other answers, ways to stop an enemy without ending their life, but sometimes…sometimes killing is all that’s left. The Firstborn still lives, but barely. The God of War is dead, long live the Goddess of War. 

You can never empathize with a person until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes. Kate Kane gets that. That’s why she turned the needle on herself. Dosed herself with Fear Toxin in order to fully understand what she’d put Maggie through. All the heroes I’ve talked about today have sacrificed their bodies in one way or another, but Kate? Kate sacrificed her mind. Well done, girl.

I’d like to issue a formal apology. I’ve not done a whole lot of reviewing, lately. My mind has been other places. My heart hasn’t been in it. Sometimes, I’ve just had nothing worth reviewing. These are, of course, excuses. But here is a promise: so long as I am able, there will be new content every week. Have a good weekend.

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DC: Please stop focusing on Batman

August 15, 2013 · Filed under Uncategorized · Tagged , ,

What has two arms, two legs, one head, and no day off this week? This guy! So, uh, good news and bad news. Good news, I got my hands on the latest issue of Saga. Bad news, I don’t actually have anything to review this week. So, in the time-honored tradition, have a rant.

So there’s this guy, Batman. Been around for almost 80 years. Kinda broody, parent issues out the wazoo. Maybe you’ve heard of him. Actually, I’d be surprised if you hadn’t heard of him, at this point.

Batman, for those of you who might be having delusions otherwise, is DC’s biggest character. He’s been the subject of eight animated television shows over the years, over a dozen live-action and animated movies, and in the New 52, his ‘family’ has more ongoing books than any other section, and none of them have been cancelled yet. Batman Incorporated ended, but it was always meant to do that. The Batman section of the New 52 has 12 ongoing books. That leaves 40 ongoing books for the rest of the DC Universe. Not to mention how, in the digital-first comics, we’ve got Li’l Gotham, Batman Beyond Unlimited, Legends of the Dark Knight, Batman ‘66, and Batman: Arkham Unhinged.

As further proof to Batman’s near-total domination of DC, allow me to present the crossover events so far since the reboot started: Night of the Owls, The Culling, Rise of the Third Army, Rotworld, Death of the Family, H’El on Earth, Throne of Atlantis, Wrath of the First Lantern, Batman: Zero Year, Trinity War. That’s one Batman crossover event a year, guys. Not to mention that Zero Year crosses over with non-Batman titles, like Flash and Green Lantern Corps. Why? Who cares! Batman! DC, please. And with the reality of a Batman/Superman movie in the not so distant future looming over us, it’s only bound to get worse.

So I implore you, DC. Take a look around your vast kingdom. Toy with some of your other properties, for once.

“But Batman sells!” You protest. “Kids love Batman! Adults love Batman! Everyone knows Batman!” No. Let me put it this way. 

If you have hamburgers once a week throughout your childhood, you’ll have fond memories of hamburgers. You’ll also like hamburgers a lot, provided you only had them every once in awhile. And then, when you hit adulthood, suddenly, hamburgers are everywhere. There are a million variations on the same hamburger, and in order to feel like you’re getting the best hamburger experience, you decide to try them all. Eventually, it becomes too much. You’re drowning in hamburgers. And the worst part? Most of them are terrible, with wilted lettuce and moldy bread. Every now and then, you find an excellent hamburger, cooked exactly how you like it, with the freshest ingredients. However, when buying that burger, the server informs you that you’ll need to buy a whole bunch of other hamburgers, many of them rotten, in order to properly enjoy the burger you wanted. DC, you are the server. Batman is the hamburger.

I’m getting a little tired of hamburgers. Let’s get a salad, or some tomato soup, or hell, some tacos. You’ve got a big universe, DC. Capitalize on it.

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The Flash: The Movie; is Barry Allen the right choice?

August 8, 2013 · Filed under Uncategorized · Tagged , , ,

So, good news and bad news. Good news: I totally got comics this week! Bad news: You really don’t want me to review them. I just spent about an hour rolling around on my Animal Man and Sweet Tooth issues, basking in how good Trillium is. Instead, you’re getting another rant. So turn on, tune in, drop out, drop in, switch on, switch off, and explode, folks, because today I plan to talk about the Flash movie.

No, not the one that I just reviewed. The one that was falsely reported at SDCC a few weeks ago. As it turns out, there will be no Flash movie in 2016, though there will be a Flash TV show, probably as soon as 2014. Barry Allen is going to be a recurring character on Arrow starting in the second season, which is set to be hilarious, as Barry and Ollie get along about as well as two cats in a sack, unless Hal is between them playing Switzerland. “In brightest day, in blackest night, I’m going to punch the both of you in the face if you don’t stop this shit right now.” It goes without saying that, should there be a Flash movie, the man in the red suit would most likely be Barry Allen, as he’s the Flash DC has been focusing on for the last few years. But truthfully, I really think they could make a Flash movie with Wally in the lead, through the long-held DC tradition of blending.

In JLU, Wally was a police scientist, his uncle’s career. He lived in Central City, and was the only Flash. He had a museum dedicated to him. And yet…he had an excellent sense of humor, something that hadn’t really been present with the last TV Flash, Barry, in the live action show from 1990. JLU Wally was the comedy relief with a heart of gold. JLU was, in my opinion, the best example of character blending that there could be.

A few years after Flash-Wally first appeared on the small screen, Teen Titans showed us a Kid Flash-Wally…who had the same voice actor as his adult counterpart, leading me to personally believe that Wally got his powers in an accident as a child, and grew up as a superhero. You can base a movie on that, just leave out the lab accident.

Speaking of accidents, the origin where Wally gives himself powers via his uncle’s notes in Young Justice is a good origin, really! But his comics origin was very different, and involved him accidentally getting powers in a freak coincidence where the Flash was showing him how he’d gotten his own powers in Barry Allen’s lab. Wally didn’t learn that his uncle was the Flash until a bit later. Still, in both instances, his powers are gained through his adult mentor, something that would have to be changed for a movie.

It would, of course, mean that you’d be cutting out Barry Allen completely, something that the big hats at DC don’t want to do. Still, in Earth-2, Jay Garrick got his powers from the god Mercury. In the new 52, Barry got his powers from the same old experiment. Wally’s been shown to be a fairly bright kid, maybe he was struck by lightning while carrying home his science fair project and that’s how he got his powers in JLU/Teen Titans. It was never really addressed, I don’t believe.

To the current generation of young adult comic readers, Wally is our guy. We remember him from Justice League and JLU. Teen Titans. The Batman. Hell, he even raced Superman in Superman: The Animated Series. He is, to people between the ages of 18 and 25, the best known Flash. Aka, the demographic that the Flash movie would be hoping to reach, alongside the 8-14 year old demographic that all superhero movies hope to pander to. 

But the people in charge of such a thing are part of the nostalgia generation. Dan DiDio recently stated that DC was making comics aimed at 45-year olds, a pretty stupid business practice. Let me put it this way: cigarette companies used to market their product in a way that would interest kids. Get them smoking young, and they’ll carry that habit into adulthood. Comics are the same way, and just as bad for your heart. DC’s obsession with Barry Allen and subsequent refusal to touch Wally West will hurt them in the same way that letting Scott Lobdell write Starfire hurt them. Comics have an audience of 100-200 thousand, for the best-selling titles. The least-watched episodes of Teen Titans and JLU still drew in over a million viewers. Casual fans look for what they know. Casual fans don’t know Barry Allen. You do the math, DC.

See y’all next week, when we take a look at the wonderful world of Li’l Gotham!

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Faster, speedster! Will! Will!

August 1, 2013 · Filed under Uncategorized · Tagged , , , , ,

Welcome back to your regularly scheduled programming. It’s the last week of July, everyone! And more than that, it’s the fifth week of July. Also, I totally didn’t review last week’s comics. So what does that mean? It means you best hold onto your pants, as five comic reviews are coming your way!

Gonna start off with the one that made me the most angry. For the past two weeks or so, the internet has been blowing up because of Morrison’s interviews of him saying that he’s destroyed Batman, that Batman can’t come back from this. I have but one thing to say:
Fuck you.
Because Batman? Batman will always endure. In the long run, more people will pay attention to things like Snyder’s Death of the Family and Court of Owls storylines than they ever did to Batman Inc. Batman Inc was a vehicle. A death vehicle. Over the course of the last 13 issues, we’ve lost Knight and Robin, and now we’ve lost Talia al Ghul. One can argue that we’ve regained Kathy Kane, but bullshit. “Don’t try to find me.” She says. “I don’t exist.” It’s practically a warning for other writers: do not use this character ever again. As for the reaction to Talia’s death in the other Bat-books? Maybe we’ll see something in Red Hood and the Outlaws, those of you who still read it should give me the heads-up if a mention occurs. As for Batman and-, and the main Batman book? Bruce is still reeling from Damian’s death, too broken up over that to really give a shit that his mother died right in front of him. And the main Batman book is waist deep in something called Zero Year. I don’t know, I stopped reading it after Death of the Family.
Ladies and gentlemen, I am not a Batman fan. For a long time, I could have considered myself a Grant Morrison fan and really, I still am. Just…not when he writes Batman. And with the end of Batman Inc, he’s officially done. The endgame has been played. The Morrison era of Batman is over. You can all go about your lives. We’re free.

If you went into the second Animal Man annual thinking you were going to get an awesome fight and not have your heart broken, haha, have I got news for you, buddy! The story itself is half present-tense, half-memory. Buddy, still in mourning for Cliff, goes to a convenience store to buy beer. He sees a gossip rag that poses the question: “Was Animal Man’s son’s death a hoax?” and loses his shit entirely. We are then taken back four years. To the day of Maxine’s birth, actually. Buddy and Cliff are waylaid by Anansa, the Spider Mother, who has been kidnapping people to feed on their dreams. Buddy doesn’t actually have to fight her, as she’s peaceful in nature, and he actually later returns to help her move to an unpopulated area, where she and her children can eat all the animal dreams they want. He finds her again, all these years later, in order to retrieve the dream she’d been given by Cliff, and my heart tapdanced out of my chest, leaving me sitting here.

There’s this little game I like to play with the new Young Avengers series called ‘Loki, no’. In it, I count how many times I tell Loki not to do something in an issue. I think I may have said it twelve times over the course of two pages in the middle, help. Anyway, the Young Avengers are on the hunt for Tommy and his…kidnapper? Vaporizer? The not-Patriot, anyway. So they run through countless dimensions searching, picking up his trail but not finding him. And so, so many of those non-616 dimensions have various members of the team going evil. Though, there is a dimension where no one goes evil! Mother’s home dimension, where they end up finding not-Patriot. Two guesses as to who said oh shit out loud. And then they end up leaving Teddy and David behind accidentally in order to fall into a land where…oh shit. I call this book Journey into Misery 2: Electric Boogaloo for a reason, y’all. Leah, whom Hela banished at the end of Loki’s run on Journey into Mystery, has made a reappearance. I am going to die a painful death. Oh, speaking of dying a painful death, I have this little feeling that Billy is going to turn David inside-out if he ever finds out about…well, see for yourselves:

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Though, I do have a theory. A few pages earlier, David reminded himself that, yes, magic existed. And for those playing the home game, Teddy is currently stressing himself out because he believes, ding ding ding, that his entire relationship with Billy is fueled by Billy’s powers. Perhaps, because he and Billy are dimensions apart, any possible sway Billy’s powers could have held over him are gone. If Teddy pushed David away and protests that it wasn’t right for him to do such a thing, their relationship is real. If not…well, I’ve had my heart broken before by a queer Marvel relationship, when Xavin had to leave Karolina to go with the Majesdanians (and I can’t believe I remembered how to spell that). Broken hearts heal.

So, level with me here, DC. You want us to legitimately ship Barry/Patty, but then you dangle Barry/Iris in front of us. The marriage that stood the test of time 1000 years into the future. The matriarch and patriarch of the Flash family. Good to know your own characters shut you down, though. If even she wasn’t directly meaning to, Iris attempted to stir the paranoia pot in regards to Patty and Barry living together…and Patty was basically, “Nope, it’s all pretty natural. Nothing scary about it.” For observant readers, Iris works on Broome street, named after John Broome, co-creator of the Barry Allen Flash and a prominent part of the Silver Age as a whole.
Then again, there is one definite “Barry, you asshole” moment this issue:

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What a beautiful bit of misdirection, Barry. Ah, but the interactions with the womenfolk are the potatoes of this issue. The real meat lies in the mystery of our big bad, the Reverse Flash. One thing we know for sure: it’s not Dr. Elias. Also, if I may take a moment to gush, the fact that he uses the plates of his Speed Force suit as projectiles is awesome. There’s an application Barry never thought of, tell you what.

And now, for our grand finale before my brain fails on me, the Brave and the Boyfriends. Bold, I meant to say bold. But really, Hal, when you refer to your first team-up as your first date, after you’re pulled from your actual man-date to the planet of the fight clubs, people tend to talk. In any case, the main story in this annual is about the first time Flash and Green Lantern worked a case together…as well as the consequences of that first team-up. Someone is snatching children from group homes, and police scientist Barry Allen is on the case! Of course, he had to choose to be on the case in Coast City, California, home of Green Lantern. There’s a moment of wacky misunderstandings, and then the two must jump into action! Though, Barry can’t just go as himself, he has to do a quick costume-change, first. As it turns out, the children are being kidnapped by space aliens from the planet of fight clubs, in order to be strapped in EVAs and sent to fight in an arena to the death. Hal makes a deal with the team leader that if they stop kidnapping children, their team will be padded with a pair of superheroes. A pity he never mentions that to Barry. It’s a good, solid story, probably my favorite Flash story since Barry came back to life. Sami Basri really kills it on the art, too. All the things that made me hate him on Power Girl have me swooning here. He’s really improved in the last couple of years!
The back-up story is also quite good, about all the little ways the Flash has touched the lives of people in Central City. Some are good, some are bad, but the one the story is based around is terrible. A woman dies before the Flash can save her, and her husband takes it hard. Years later, he attempts to take revenge. Cully Hamner’s art is a little distracting in places, but it doesn’t detract from Nicole Dubuc’s wonderful story in the least.

That was this, and last, week in comics! I’m so tired, I may decide to not wake up tomorrow. Hope to see you again, in August!

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Support your supporting characters!

July 18, 2013 · Filed under Uncategorized · Tagged , , , , ,

I’m not going to lie, I was a bad girl this evening. Yesterday, the new DC animated movie Flashpoint Paradox was leaked onto the internet. Today, I finally made up my mind whether or not to watch it early. My thoughts on it, directly following my viewing of it: “Oh my god, I am so going to own this movie when it comes out. I’m going to put it in a deep frame and write on the glass, ‘break in case of joy’.”

The movie itself was…well, it didn’t even ring true to the amazing failure of a story that was the Flashpoint comic, and frankly, my favorite bits were the parts that were added in for the movie. It’s a good waste of 90 minutes, if you’re not a hardcore Flash fan. Because when you are…the clusterfuck of character timeline inconsistencies in the opening twelve minutes was enough to send me into minor fits of rage. Just saying. Anyway, onward to this week’s comics!

You know, I’m going to count it. If Animal Man keeps coming out in the third week of the month, it can still be considered a ladies week comic, as it has been focusing pretty heavily on Maxine in the last couple of issues. Good. Frankly, I like her best. The innocence of a child coupled with the instincts of a hero and the powers of a god? Yes, please. This month we see Animal Girl’s first real failure, as she finds that she is unable to bring her brother back to life with just a body, she needs his spiritual essence as well. Oh, and her dad fights these animal men monsters who work for Brother Blood. That’s also a thing that happens.

I was beginning to feel like the writers on Supergirl were having a bit too much fun playing up the ‘lost girl from another world is confused about everything and blindly trusts those who offer her a way home’ angle, so it’s good to see that she’s learning. “When am I going to learn? Boys offering Krypton are not to be trusted.” H’El used her…something, I wasn’t exactly following that storyline, Cyborg Superman was using her memories. Next time on Supergirl, Lex Luthor, masquerading as his own son with a head full of luscious red hair, offers to build her a time machine in exchange for some of her DNA. Shit, I’d actually read the hell out of that book. It’s not like DC is above reusing stories and themes from 1994 these days, am I right?

A moment of silence, as my very favorite New 52 character has died. Lennox, we hardly knew ye. But moving on, New Genesis, wowza. I’m not as intimately familiar with the New Gods as other people I know, so I don’t really have much to compare to/complain about. That being said, it’d be freaking fabulous if a friendship founded on mutual respect were to form between Diana and Orion, as the one that previously existed between Diana and Clark is clearly not going to happen in this universe.

Hey, guess who’s Kate’s fighting this month? Trick question, this is a Bette issue! Ah, little Bette Kane, finally growing into her own. Not trying to copy her cousin, or her crush, fighting grown men as practice, planning her own extraction ops. Even though I’ve been reading about this character on an off for over a decade, it’s only now that she really feels like someone who could hold her own issue. Hawkfire isn’t the name of a supporting character, so the world better watch out.

Phew. I kind of feel like I last-minute-half-assed that. I hope not. Anyway! Trinity War continues this week, a new Batman and book came out, oh and if you’ve not been reading Batman Beyond Unlimited, you should start. There’s a new Batgirl in town, and she’s going to be taking exactly none of your shit. In other news, it’s just past 3 am and I felt my brain start shutting itself down half an hour ago. Goodnight, everyone. And to those of you reading this from a line at SDCC, get some sleep already!

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And so it begins (Batman Inc #12 spoilers)

July 4, 2013 · Filed under Uncategorized · Tagged , ,

Welcome to the first week of July! If you’re reading this, and you live in America like I do, happy Independence day! If you’re outside America, carry on with your non-exploding day. As y’all may be aware, this is yet another five-Wednesday month, which means books are going to be spread a little thin. That being said, due to reasons, Batman Inc did not ship last week, but was available this week instead. The final issue will be shipping two weeks from now, because, once again, of reasons. Incidentally, Batman Inc was the only New 52 book I picked up today. I think you know what this means.

With this issue, we are one from done. Grant Morrison first took on the Dark Knight in his own title in 2006, and the near-decade of hell is almost over. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve enjoyed a great deal of Morrison’s run on the various Batman titles, but His Scottishness has turned cruel in his later years. I’m still not entirely convinced that he didn’t originally create Beryl to eventually become the Knight. So, what happened today? Oh, not much.

Batman just went completely bugfuck insane, pumped an entire army of bats full of the antidote to the Man-Bat serum and sicced them on Talia’s warriors while communicating with them in their own language, then beat the hell out of the Heretic. And while watching the complete and utter meltdown of a man who is supposed to have the finest tuned mind in the DCU is fun and all, my full enjoyment of this issue came at the hands of, surprise surprise, someone who isn’t Batman.

Specifically, someone who might be Kathy Kane.

Let’s look at the facts: Way, waaay back in The Leviathan Strikes, the St. Hadrian’s elite wear costumes similar to the original Batwoman suit, along with skull masks. Those same costumes have turned up again in the last two issues, only now the girls work for the Headmistress of Spyral. Given the amount of time between her ‘death’ and the present, this leads me to believe that Kathy has overtaken her dearly departed father (whose corpse was seen in the other story in The Leviathan Strikes), Agent 0, as the head of Spyral. Spyral is not working for, or with, Leviathan, as they’ve gone from being a spy agency to part of the international intelligence community. Plus, look at how Dick reacts to the shadowy figure he, for some reason, cannot seem to be able to see with his lenses down:

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No, that’s totally Kathy Kane.

And to the people who don’t remember, yes, the Heretic totally killed the Knight a couple of issues back. Snapped his neck like he wasn’t in over a hundred pounds of armor. It was really tragic, and I was seriously mad for…actually, I’m still seriously mad. That Knight and Squire mini was one of the best things to come out that year. I own the single issues and the trade paperback. But he was killed by…by a big baby head.

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Full-grown body, Damian’s little face. Not the creepiest thing Morrison’s ever done (that goes to the WE3 pets, or Professor Pyg), but it’s in the top five. Still, who cares if it’s an irredeemable sociopath with his son’s face (I feel like I’ve stolen that line from somewhere…), justice still needs to be served! Or not.

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You know, it’s funny. Just like he’s constantly refusing to kill the Joker, even though it would make life better for everyone in Gotham, Batman refused to kill the Heretic. For a man fighting a war on crime, whose sole motivation in confronting Leviathan from the moment Damian dies? Bruce is seriously bad at revenge. I know he thinks it puts him on a higher moral ground than others, but really, he just looks like an asshole. Maybe it’s because I’m from a region where “He needed killing.” is a pretty justifiable defense when talking about a murderous scumbag, but really. He should have just let Beryl off the kid. Better than what would end up happening to him a page or so later.

(hint: it involves Talia and him not having a head anymore)

The issue ends with the destruction of Wayne Tower, as well as, presumably, many other areas in Gotham. Oh, and one of the coolest damn cliffhanger pages ever:

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Talia, as it has been seen, is actually quite a formidable opponent. Add in the emotional ties between her and Bruce, and this is set to be one hell of a fight.

Well! I’m pumped! Yeah! Fight to the death, yeah! That’ll end well.

In any case, that’s my week in comics. The last issue of Fionna and Cake came out today (y’all may want to pick that up, it’s pretty cute), as well, just putting that out there. 

This Sunday I’ll be at Florida Supercon in Miami, looking through backissue bins and rubbing elbows with whoever decided to stay all four days! Tickets will be available at the show for $30 and up. The con itself starts tomorrow. See you there, SoFla comic fans!

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It takes a New God to hold off an Old One. Wait, no, wrong mythos.

June 20, 2013 · Filed under Uncategorized · Tagged , , , , ,

Welcome, dear friends, to the first actual goddamn post I’ve done all month. I’m sorry, I really am. I’ve been so lazy, and it’s mainly because I’ve been generally disappointed with the cape comics scene. I’ve spent a lot of time and a bit more money than I really should have catching up on comics like Chew and Sweet Tooth, re-immersing myself in the closed-off worlds of done in one graphic novels, and just reading books again. DC has made me so frustrated with their lack of good superhero stories, that I’ve gone and sought outside sources. Heaven help me, I’m even reading a couple of X-titles again.
But today is a good day.
I’m always pleased to have my ladies week, and another favorite book is even on the roster, today!

It seems like DC doesn’t know what to do with Animal Man these days. It’s almost like…they don’t want the book to succeed. Between moving the release date of the issue from the first week of the month to the third and the fact that they’re in the habit of not soliciting the title on their website until the week of release. Seriously. It’s quite frustrating. Then there’s the stuff that’s actually happening within the title itself. Cliff dying, Ellen taking Maxine and leaving, the Red ejecting Buddy while allowing him to keep his powers, Maxine stepping into the role of Animal Girl…it’s been a busy few months since the end of Rotworld. And it’s not looking to slow down anytime soon! This issue has Buddy suiting up again to look for the abducted pets of local residents, with disturbing results. Meanwhile, Maxine agrees to begin her training within the Red, so long as she’s allowed to look for her brother’s essence as she works. But the most interesting thing, to me at least, is the random insertions of the points of view of regular citizens via DC’s version of Twitter. Hardcore Animal Man fans, media gossips, haters, and normal folks posting their #animalman sightings, all chiming in on the current events in our hero’s life. Not since the early days of Booster Gold and the New Teen Titans have we seen the media be so omnipresent in the life of a superhero. Could random paparazzi attacks be more hazardous than fighting actual supervillains? Only time will tell.

It’s a little disheartening to see just how easily tricked Kara is. I mean, I understand why she’s so easy to fool, but it’s still upsetting. She’s a girl alone, adrift in a universe full of strangers, her only relation a baby cousin that’s outgrown her and treats her like a child. She’s fresh-off-the-boat in the most cosmic sense, and until recently, she wasn’t even able to speak the common tongue of her newly chosen homeland. So yeah, anyone who offers to give her back even the tiniest piece of Krypton is going to be accepted with open arms. Wide open, incredibly naive arms. This time around, it’s a robotic planet called I’noxia. When given the right amount of information, this planet and its inhabitants can become any planet and people they choose. And to a girl dying of Kryptonite poisoning, the idea of spending her final days among her people must seem pretty sweet…even if the planet itself is controlled by a robotic version of her cousin. A Cyborg Superman, if you will. Also in this issue is the always-interesting Siobhan, whose main nemesis these days seems to be a rogue toilet clogged by a rude neighbor. You give him hell, honey. As always, Supergirl makes for an enjoyable read, and now is as good a time as any to jump on, what with this being the first issue of a new story.

You know you’ve got a good comic when it can make you laugh out loud one moment, piss you right the hell off the next, and end on a note that about makes you pee with excitement. Oh, hello Wonder Woman. Were your ears burning? So, right then. We’ve got a godly dog pile on our hands, and the bottom pup is named Firstborn. Woof. Diana, Lennox, and even Orion can’t put a dent in this guy. Then again, he’s a god. He’s the firstborn child of Zeus and Hera, the rightful heir to the throne of heaven. And he wants to destroy the world. Worse, he has the power to actually do it…so long as he’s got his bouncing baby prophecy-fulfilling brother on his side. Gonna be honest, I’m glad the months and months of barely-there plot concerning this guy finally came to a head and kicked off an actual storyline. And now to the bad news. A moment of silence, friends, for my favorite New 52 character, Lennox. It’s highly unlikely that he’s dead, but on the off chance that tumbling through a Boom Tube to kick the Firstborn right in his grizzled and scarred (yet somehow still conventionally attractive) mug didn’t off him, well, I don’t foresee him spending much longer among the living. Not if Cassandra, yet another sibling with a revengerection pointed directly at him, has anything to say about it. Oh! Actually! Speaking of! Blonde woman, with the metal throat? That’s Cassandra. He actually raised her from the time she was young, after she accidentally killed her mother. He was the one that ripped her throat out, after it became apparent that she wasn’t the type of person who should have the power to command obedience from anyone who hears her voice. So, he raised her, and then he abandoned her, this blonde woman named Cassandra. HM, I DO WONDER. Oh right, and then the Wonder crew ends up on New Genesis. I’ll give you three guesses on who I hope to see next issue, and the first two don’t count.

(it’s Big Barda and Mister Miracle, that’s who I want to see)

You know, it usually annoys me when a title sets up a big cliffhanger on which they plan to begin a new storyline…and then takes a break for an issue to focus on something else entirely. But not today, and not with Batwoman. Why? Because how often do we really get stories focusing on Killer Croc where he doesn’t come out of it looking like a punch line? This issue…I’m reminded of the Killer Croc issue from the second Joker’s Asylum mini. In both, his motivation for action is the love of a woman. In both, he comes off as human, rather than the monster he’s usually shown to be. Underneath the skin condition, Waylon Jones is still a human being, though since his brush with Medusa, he’s so much more. With Abbot dead, Waylon is chosen to be the next leader of the Church of Crime’s animal men, so long as he avenges their fallen by killing Batwoman. He doesn’t succeed, of course, but still manages to get away and assert his dominance as their new leader, anyway. His first act? Get the hell out of dodge and settle down someplace that will be safe for all of the remaining animal men. Good job, Waylon. That’s sure using your noodle.

And that’s this week in comics! Also out this week is Vibe, which I managed to miss yet again because I’m too fucking nice and gave the last copy, that I was literally holding in my hand, to an older gentleman who only gets out to the shops every few months. Sigh. Also of note, the latest issue of Green Lantern: New Guardians is out, and with it comes an Indigo ring, for those planning on collecting the new ring line. It’s fairly late now, and the rain is making me sleepy. I’ll see y’all back here next week for Flash, Young Avengers, and Batman Inc!

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Death and the Comic Fan (SPOILER ALERT)

June 6, 2013 · Filed under Uncategorized · Tagged , , ,

In a sudden twist of events, I’ve decided that I’m not really into The Movement. I just can’t get over how it sounds like using the bathroom. Also, it’s…really not very good. I hurt myself saying that just now, folks. I really did.

So instead, let’s talk about death and the comic book industry.

Gail Simone herself coined the concept of ‘fridging’, in relation to female characters: Killing off a female character in order to bring strife into a male character’s life. It’s a time honored tradition in virtually any form of entertainment, from comics to movies to, hell, even music. Remember that song Last Kiss? But I’m not here to add my comments to a topic that’s been, pardon the expression, discussed to death. I’d like to take a few minutes to discuss death in comics in the modern age.

In general terms when relating specifically to DC, the Golden Age of comics began with the first issue of Action Comics and ended sometime in the 1950s. The Silver Age officially started with Showcase #4, which introduced the first ever rebooted superhero, Barry Allen’s Flash, and ended with the death of that character in 1985’s Crisis on Infinite Earths. The Bronze Age started in 1986, at the end of CoIE’s run, and ended in 2005, with Infinite Crisis. The Modern Age started in 2004, with Identity Crisis. Confused? Welcome to the world of the Modern Age.

Shock value. These are the two defining words of the Modern Age of comics. In 2004, a little series called Identity Crisis began to make waves at DC. It started by killing off beloved wife Sue Dibny, and by the seventh issue, had been the cause of death of another two characters; Jack Drake, the father of the then-current Robin, and Digger Harkness, the first Captain Boomerang. Digger’s recently-discovered son, Owen, also premiered in this series.

Our next big death would come three months later, in Countdown to Infinite Crisis. After spending 79 pages having the rest of the world fall in love with Ted Kord all over again, the final page has his former friend and boss Max Lord graphically shooting him in the head. And then there was Infinite Crisis, also known as Everyone Dies 2: Electric Boogaloo. Where am I going with this?

Death in comic books is comparable to a rotating door. People go in, people come out, and some are stuck waiting at the turnstile. After Superman’s death and return in the early 90s, all bets were off. If you died in a comic, the likelihood of resurrection depended on how popular you were. Deaths like those of Hal Jordan (1996), Wonder Woman (1997), and even Bruce Wayne (2009) were overturned in times ranging from almost a decade to a matter of months. Then there’s the Marvel side of things, where a person can come back from the dead multiple times. Death in comic books simply does not matter.

Which is why it’s used as a plot device so often.

Recently, DC killed off Damian Wayne in a gruesome fashion. Even more recently, they did the same to Catwoman. Of course, Damian’s was meant to be a permanent death (even though the kid is related to the one man who has returned from the grave more than Jean Grey), whereas it is being speculated that Selina’s death was a fake-out. But, DC wouldn’t do that…would they?

The year is 2010. The series is Justice League: Generation Lost. The character is Blue Beetle. No, the third one. He gets shot in the head by (who else) Maxwell Lord. He’s okay, though! The suit took the brunt of the damage! Didn’t stop DC from making fakeout covers, fake reactions, and constant parallels to how his previous incarnation died.

Death is meaningless. That’s the point I’m trying to convey. There have been entire events based around death, from the Death of Captain America to Blackest Night. Entire series’, such as Suicide Squad and, more recently, Avengers Arena.

So, why am I making a post about death now?

Because.

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Kate Kane: An awesome character for awesome people

June 3, 2013 · Filed under Uncategorized · Tagged , ,

It’s come to my attention recently (by which I mean, I’ve kind of always known in the back of my mind, but am only now saying something because I’m sick of not addressing it personally) that Kate Kane is a controversial character. For reasons, even! In any case,

HERE IS AN ARGUMENT AGAINST EVERY REASON TO HATE KATE KANE, AS PRESENTED BY ME:

  • Fetishizes lesbians for male readers

Well, there’s some bullshit right there. First off, there was a ton of controversy around introducing a new Batwoman in the first place, even before DC got around to her sexuality (which was made to be a Big Deal by execs, though not as big a deal as they made about Alan Scott’s new sexuality), but that’s what 52 was about. It was a year without the Trinity, but not a year without heroes. If Isis was going to be the new character that served as the ersatz Wonder Woman, and Supernova was our ersatz Superman, they couldn’t simply leave Batman out of the ersatz trifecta, and we got Kate.

No, literally, we got Kate. Kate Kane was introduced before her alter-ego was, and to anyone who didn’t read forums, the revelation that Kate was Batwoman came for them around the same time it came for Renee. If we hadn’t met Kate first, if we didn’t know that she was Renee’s ex, Batwoman would just be another woman in a cape with a Bat-symbol. Her sexuality wouldn’t be an issue, because she would just be treated as every superheroine is treated, by male readers: like a sex object. She wears a tight, sexy costume! She’s got long, flowing, sexy red hair! Yes, she was introduced as a lesbian first, but she wasn’t a lesbian that evolved into a character. Even in her first scene, you can tell she’s got brains and knows how to use them. That she’s willing to kick ass. And really, you’d think that would be more important than her fucking women.

Actually, wait, that’s pretty important, too. Because who was the highest-profile lesbian at DC before Kate? Renee, in terms of longevity, but Scandal Savage was certainly catching up in popularity. Who was the highest-profile gay man? Through a technicality, Hartley Rathaway, because he was pretty much the only one that was still being used in things. If the Authority was in the DCU proper back then, the title would have gone to Midnighter, because I think at that point, he had his own series. Point being, there weren’t any lesbians that kicked ass and took names like Kate, before Kate. Renee and Maggie were police so while they were badass, they weren’t vigilante-level badass. Scandal and Knockout are technically criminals. So while little girls have always had Wonder Woman to look up to as a hero, little girls who liked other girls didn’t. Kate changed that.

  • “forcing diversity”/replacing Cass

Can I get another bullshit! Cancelling Cass’ series, a very popular and high-selling series, even, was the first nail in her coffin. Having her show up in Robin and Teen Titans OYL running the League of Assassins and working for Deathstroke were another whole mess of nails. Kate? Wasn’t the final one. In fact, there isn’t a final one, not yet. Every time DC tries to nail her in, the fans keep prying the lid open. Good. Because here’s something that DC, and those who hate Kate, need to learn:

You can have a white lesbian and a straight Asian woman in the same hero family and not have either replacing the other.

DC, for one reason or another, has been trying to get rid of Cass for years. The most common theory, racism, is usually the most accepted one. And the fact that Cass has been conveniently left out of the New 52 while Kate has her own series, probably has Cass-loving Kate-haters grinding their molars to the gum. But they’re forgetting something! Or should I say, someone. Stephanie Brown was left out of the New 52 as well. Along with Donna Troy, Jesse Chambers, Charlotte Gage-Radcliffe, Helena Bertinelli, Dinah Laurel Lance, Jenny-Lynn Hayden, Linda Park, Irey West, Lashawn Baez, and many, many, many other ladies we’ve come to adore. Which really, proves one thing to me:

DC doesn’t hate Cass, specifically, they just hate powerful, inspirational women in general. I mean, have you seen the shit they’ve been trying to talk about Lois Lane?!

  • only being defined by her love interests

Renee and Kate broke up. They broke up because of reasons (most likely related to Renee’s obsession with the Religion of Crime). Kate moved on. Kate’s relationship with Maggie, while an important part of her series, as it shows her in a more vulnerable place than when she’s Batwoman (Kate is afraid of the people she loves leaving her because…well, her mother and sister did, what’s to stop her girlfriend?), is not the central focus. In fact, even in 52, Kate’s central plot had very little to do with her rekindled relationship with Renee, and everything to do with the fact that she, the twice-named daughter of Kane, was destined to have her heart carved out by the Religion of Crime. You’ve stumped me, oh haters of Kate, because I can’t quite figure out where this reason came from. Because…she dared to have a relationship, two, even, with already established lesbians within the DCU? Does that mean that, since Superman is dating Wonder Woman now, she’s defined entirely by him existing? After all, he did come first, in the superhero timeline. Lend me some logic, here.

  • being a ‘bitch’

Hey, you know who else is a bitch? Wonder Woman. Oh, and Power Girl, Supergirl, Huntress, and pretty much every female hero ever, especially that Stephanie Brown chick. Because being a bitch, I’ve noticed, seems to mean that a woman is unwilling to just sit around and take the shit she’s handed, by men or society, take your pick. Kate Kate is determined to make a difference in her city, in the world, and because of that, she’s a bitch. Good for her, I don’t want her any other way.

  • not being a ‘real’ member of the Bat-family

That’s all on Bruce, guys. That’s entirely on Bruce. His Bat-family is as follows: Alfred, Dick, Tim, Damian, Babs. Cass isn’t a ‘real’ member. Steph isn’t, either. Jason, Helena, Dinah, all the folks in Batman Incorporated? Nope.

BUT GUESS WHAT?!

That’s not entirely on Bruce! There have been some extraordinarily shitty writers on the various Bat-books over the years, and a lot of them tend to forget that there is a lot of vagina in the Bat-family. She’s got a bat on her chest. She works in Gotham. Like it or not, Kate is part of the Bat-family. And in the reboot, where it became really obvious that the D.E.O. wasn’t going to let her get away with being a part of the Bat-family? She made her own. She Jaime Reyes’d that shit up, pulling in her fiancee, her cousin, her dad, and her step-mom to be her support network. Damn, girl.

  • she’s not Kathy

Well, duh. Did we really need another? Kathy Kane was actually a super cool character, despite being created for the sole purpose of deflecting all those pesky “Batman and Robin are gay” rumors that were destroying the moral fiber of the nation. She kicked ass, everyone’s ass. She had a fly motorcycle. Yeah, she was in love with Batman, and he fell for her too, but when he told her to quit it with the crimefighting and get in the kitchen, she basically told him to fuck off. Once she got tired of being a vigilante, she went back to run her circus, only coming out of retirement when Ra’s al Ghul forced her hand by sending the League of Assassins after her. She was killed, but her legacy lived on.

Kate Kane will never be Kathy Kane.

Personally, I like her better. I’ve only read a few pre-Crisis Kathy stories, and if anyone should be hated for being defined by a love interest, ding ding ding. But she’s not. In fact, now that she’s been replaced, Kathy is being looked at as some sort of reverent figure. Why? Well, probably because she’s a straight woman than male fans can project their fantasies onto. In fact, by being a love interest of Batman, male fans can double their fantasy by treating Kathy like a sex object and pretending to be Batman.

In conclusion, sorry Kate-haters. I really am. I’m sorry that you’re unable to look past your…hatred of lesbians, I’m going to assume, to see what an amazing character DC has actually let us keep.

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“I’ve got the magic in me.” -direct quote from Billy Kaplan

May 23, 2013 · Filed under Uncategorized · Tagged , , , , , , ,

Now normally, I’d be lamenting the end of another month while at the same time joyfully expressing my love of the comics that came out this week…but May has five Wednesdays this time around, and DC shot its wad a bit early. So, I suppose that y’all can consider this an early warning. If I can’t think of something current and interesting to talk about next week, there may not be a post, as all DC is putting out for the fifth week of May are annuals for series’ I don’t read.

Ah, as for the lateness of this post, well…I guess I should come clean. I love independent comics. I probably love them more than superhero comics at this point, and I’ve spent the last few months building up my Los Bros Hernandez collection. Yesterday I picked up the twelfth volume of their Love and Rockets collection, Poison River, done entirely by Gilbert Hernandez about his best-known character, Luba. I got home around 10 pm and spent the next three hours devouring the entire book, before even touching the actual new comics I bought. But really, can any of you blame me? It’s always good to look outside one’s comfort zone, and trust me, there’s nothing on the market further from DC Comics’ new 52 than Love and Rockets.

I wanted to kick things off with a bang by looking at Bruce’s confrontation with Talia…but unfortunately, that’s to be put off another month. Grant Morrison wasn’t involved with the 11th issue of Batman Incorporated at all, despite being the creator of the two protagonists, Jiro Osamu (the Batman of Japan) and Shy Crazy Lolita Canary. Instead, we get an issue written by the usual artist, Chris Burnham, and an artist by the name of Jorge Lucas. If the name doesn’t ring a bell for the usual DC reader, have no fear! Lucas is yet another artist DC has drafted in from another company, this time Top Cow, though he has done work for Marvel in the past. As for the story itself, it’s not bad. A regular Bat-style bad guy punch-em-up with no real detective work thrown in (that’s left to the computers, don’t you know), and a cute look into Jiro and Canary’s size-challenged romance. Though seriously, this issue was originally solicited to be a direct continuation of #10, don’t do that again, DC.

It’s winter in Gotham! Well, sort of. This month’s issue of Li’l Gotham is full to bursting with celebration as Mr. Freeze learns the true meaning of the holiday season (hint: it isn’t kidnapping children), and the Gotham Girls have a crime-free night on the town…depending on how loosely you interpret the word “crime”. Nyugen and Fridolfs deliver yet another adorable issue of what I’m not even beginning to hesitate to call my favorite thing from DC right now. Be sure to come back next month for another two installments, all for $2.99! As far as digital-to-print comics go, that’s bargain basement, baby!

So there were some panels floating around earlier this week of Billy putting a gun in his mouth. His reasoning was that if he was dead, all his spells would come undone, and Loki would no longer have his powers. I’m going to be honest, those panels sent me into panic attack mode. Why? Because this is Kieron Gillen at the typewriter, kiddies. He would do it. Of all the talent Marvel has in their stable right now, I doubt there’s a creator out there who is quite as good at causing pain to comic fans as this guy. I mean, his last big writing job for Marvel, Journey into Mystery, is commonly nicknamed Journey into Misery by the fans of the book. If that’s not a telling sign of a man who wants to make you cry, I don’t know what is. 

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Fuck you.
That being said! As far as closing issues to first arcs go, this one was quite the winner! While not quite destroyed, the Mother parasite has been beaten back to the point of nonexistence. This is a good thing! Unfortunately, in order to keep her that way, none of the Young Avengers are allowed to go back to New York City until Loki and Billy can figure out a way to eradicate her completely. This is a bad thing! So, parental distress, check. Suicide attempt, check. Constant reminders that Little Loki is not a good guy, nor looking out for the group’s best interests, check check. Um. At least Billy got a nifty new costume, the team is officially a team, and Kate is going to teach Noh-Varr the definition of ‘hot make-outs’ at some point in the future? Oh, and did I mention that the next issue is going to feature the return of Speed and, get this, David Alleyne?! Okay, this guy? He’s got my second favorite power, next to superspeed. Before the events of M-Day, he could absorb any knowledge from another person, though he’d end up forgetting it once they were out of range. His brain was later unlocked by the Stepford Cuckoos so that he’d be able to remember everything he’d ever learned. Granted, he’d never be able to learn anything new just by casting around for it, but still. I can’t even explain how excited I am for this guy to be in this book. Even more excited than I am about, say, Billy’s hot new costume:

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He is Donna Troy-ing this mother up. Gotta love a guy with the confidence to wear a galaxy on his hips.

The Flash was certainly a busy beaver this week. Aside from his guest spot in Justice League Dark and showing up briefly in the main Justice League title, his own book had more mystery, death, and intrigue than you could shake a Speed Force-imbued stick at! But first, an unpopular opinion that no one cares about: I really do like Barry and Patty together, as a couple. They seem to make each other happy. While Barry has literally crossed the ravages of time and space for Iris, their life together happened in a different world. A better world, most would argue, but not the world we’re going to be seeing for a good while. I’ve made my peace with this, to an extent. I’m still pretty damn mad about it, in some respects, but I’ve mostly made my peace. That being said: Barry, you’re living with your girlfriend now, who knows that you’re actually the Flash. This less-than-professional interest you seem to have in Iris, and that she seems to have in you, isn’t going to go unnoticed for long. Patty Spivot is one blonde you can not make dumb jokes about. The meat of this issue, despite rather misleading appearances on the cover, is about detective work. Investigations are in, brutal violence is out! Well, sort of. We do get a neat scene where Barry windmills a train into submission in pursuit of a super-powered suspect, but that’s about it. So! Four bodies went into the Speed Force, Marissa, Gomez, Albert, and Iris. Three developed powers, two are left alive. One is on the run, one is oblivious…and Barry thinks that now is a good time to finally go investigate Kid Flash?! Bubba, your priorities are seriously wonky. I will say, the dedication to Carmine Infantino was a nice touch. Memorial pages have been popping up in comics all month, but an actual dedication…didn’t think you still had that kind of class in you, DC.

That was this week in comics! If you’re able, be sure to also pick up All-Star Western for a taste of Booster Gold, and the second to last issue of Fionna and Cake! Things are really heating up there! Going to be honest, unless there’s something I’m forgetting, it doesn’t look like I’ll be getting any comics next week at all. Good for my wallet, bad for my soul! This may just call for a nifty little required reading list of my own…

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