Posts tagged JSA

May the 4th be with you, always.

A frightfully small week, sadly. Five books, and not a stinker amongst them…I hope. Shall we?

Lobo, why do you look so surprised that S’Glayne’s father shot him? Or is that a look of horror..? You are the Main Man, grow a pair and just shoot him! Garbageman, I skip over. As always. As for the Tanga story…hey, remember Za? He’s a creeper. And he has his own alien harem. Run Tanga! Run away!

If I can take anything away from this issue of JSA: All-Stars, it’ll be the imae of King Chimera glaring at over-talkative nerds on the bus. The short saga of the Prince comes to a close not with a whimper, but with a bang. And holy shit, what a bang. He took out most of upstate New York! I really love the character of Roxy. She’s just so…awesome.

And so comes the end of the Legion Academy story. Grave-defiling, theft, jackassery…yeah, this crop of recruits is going to be just fab. Can you smell that sarcasm? As for the Jenni story…well, the less said about that the better. She’s not a member of the Legion, she’s refusing to join their Academy, and she’s tracing the roots of her family back to ancient times. And the entire thing was wrapped up in eight pages. I am so goddamn angry right now, y’all have no idea.

So, Superboy is evil again? I’m just looking at the cover and…red eyes, burning Kent farm, heavy eyeliner…kind of screams evil to me, folks. Hmm. Evil Superboy, every superhuman dead, Luthor brainwashing? No. Oh, I see now. Black Mercy plants! Oh, plot devices from the 80s, how I adore thee. But this art…ugh, so not my thing.

Okay, I’m going to take a minute to make a comparison. Lately, the Secret Six book has reminded me of The Walking Dead. No, I’m not saying they both have zombies, don’t be ridiculous. They both showcase all the ugliness of humanity, yes, but they both also follow a very specific pattern. Just when you think everything is going to be alright, WHUMP, an whole pile of shit falls on the main characters. This issue, after fighting the hordes of hell to win back her lover, Knockout, we finally hear someone address the issue of the fact that Scandal’s other girlfriend has been fucking kidnapped and put through the straight camp of doom. How has it taken this long? I mean, Scandal isn’t heartless, she really cares for this other chick. But…Knockout is supposedly her true love. Can she really choose one life over another? But at the same time, she should ask herself this question: would she fight all of hell to save Liana? Frankly, I doubt it. She blows off hot lesbian sex with a six foot tall redheaded stripper (which seems to be her type) in order to go to hell and drag back her ex. Sorry Liana, but I think you’ve been dumped.

And that was this week in comics. Don’t forget, Saturday May 7th is Free Comic Book Day at comic shops around the nation! As for today, well, May the 4th be with you! I’ll catch y’all later, dinner beckons.


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Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful, hate me because I can erase you from existence.

Very small week, very small. Four books and- wait, what’s that, in the distance? Is it, could it be..? Avengers: The Children’s Crusade! Oh man! I’ve been reading up on this series since I found out it existed, but this is going to be my first time holding an issue in my hands. My excitement, I don’t think it has a level.

Oh fail train, why aren’t you over yet? Okay, so, basic premise of this issue: Party in Star City forest, undead folks only. And then…really? Really, DC? This is the big climax? Four newly-made elementals fighting a giant Black Lantern tree? And the Earth’s ultimate savior is Swamp Thing? Okay. This is me throwing in the towel. You win, Fail Train. I give up.

JSA: All-Stars really confused me this month. But then again, the two-issue arc is going to be about changing the time stream so…let’s just pretend it didn’t happen?

It’s official, Tanga is the only decent part of Weird Worlds. The Lobo short was just…strange. and Garbageman isn’t even worth reading. Maybe it’s my incredible love of Kevin Maguire talking, but the Tanga short is the best minifeature DC has put out in quite a while.

Aaah! I just made a joyful noise in the middle of the comic shop. Parademon! Hmm, and here I’d always thought of Ragdoll as merely insane, but soulless works too. Ooh, please tell me we’ll be getting back to the Liana-goes-to-straight-camp-by-way-of-kidnapping storyline! Please? One page. Okay. Screw you, plotlines. I’ve already gone on this rant, but my favorite character in this book, since I first saw him in Villains United, is Ragdoll. Or, he was. Honestly, I think Gail has been setting this up since the first Secret Six mini after VU, Six Degrees of Devastation, when she showed just how heartless Peter could be. And frankly, if that idea is factual, it just shows the patience and planning that this woman has. I’m not saying anything about the twist at the end of this issue, though, mainly because I sort of saw it coming.

I’d like to state for the record, Magneto jumping out of nowhere while screaming “DOOM” had me laughing so hard I actually fell over. As strange as it may sound, my brain sort of refused to hone in on anything but the funny parts. Such as Vision being a dick to Iron Lad, and Iron Lad being a dick right on back. “Technically, Vision and Scarlet Witch never actually divorced, so…” Hear that? That’s the sound of a fanfic being written. And it is a Wanda/Vision/Cassie/Nate fanfic. And no, I’m not writing it (yet). But yeah, time travel shenanigans, another issue of Billy and Teddy not kissing, pretty much the standard Young Avengers story, so far. Oh, but what’s this? Wanda’s back? Like, No-more-mutants back? God mode Wanda has made a return, remaining mutants run for cover! Next issue next issue next issue!

Aw, that’s the end of our week, poo. Ah well, nothing left to do but post this, then go check Tumblr. For the brave and open-minded, mine is Touchofgrey37. See you next week! Same time, same place, waaay bigger pull list. Peace out!

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What I thought to be a red ring kind of day has become so much…bluer.

Oh my god, you guys. Eleven books. And not a single one of them is fail train and- oh. Generation Lost. Ahem. Lemme get my red ring.

Let’s start out with the Legion of Super Villains one-shot. I’m a pretty damn big fan of Lightning Lord and Saturn Queen, so I’m a little disappointed that the third of their trio, Cosmic King, was absent from this book. This issue was all about the most evil of the evil attempting to have their universe descend into chaos by destroying ancient worlds that keep the balance. The Rock of Eternity was the first to go (and whoa, was that a Shazam-hand I spy?! Is Thunder going to be making an appearance?), and Oa will be the last, so what is the world in between? The art was amazing, by the way, and my metaphorical boner for Mekt Ranzz was renewed.

Weird Worlds is fun. The Lobo story featured a couple of murders and a political triple-cross, which is actually pretty typical for Lobo. Not as many explosions as I’m used to, though. The Tanga story was…amusing. Drunk monster fighting, I can get behind that.

Couldn’t get into Batman Inc this month, moving on.

“He’s like a mirror-universe Al Gore!” I love you, Hourman. Oh my god. Wildcat, Tommy you precious flower. “I’m on a boat!” That was the single best entrance ever. I hope Roxy keeps her body, I really do. Citizen Steel needs some lovin’ too. But she claims that being human grosses her out, so, que sera sera. The little epilogue with Tyler and Roxy was sweet, so, she does keep her body?

I guess being in love with your cousin runs in both sides of Kon’s family. Lori Luthor, you have something in common with Silver Age Superman, your uncle would be so proud. Wait a second, ‘Garth’? Kon, Beast Boy’s name is Garfield. I love how they touched on Kon and Bart’s friendship. I mean, everyone knows that Kon is gay for is best friends with Tim, but people are always forgetting his friendship with Bart. Neither of them had a normal childhood, both grew up in artificial enviornments, and both have very big shoes that they’ll eventually need to fill. The boys are bros. And the winner is…Krypto! Aww, puppy for the win. Congratulations, Krypto!

I’m just going to talk about puppet Zatanna. She is, at once, the most awesome, and most terrifying thing. Your soul trapped in a puppet that you have no control over? Aggggh. The art and plots in this book just get better and better, I’m never disappointed.

Excuse me, what are a bunch of Deadpool wannabes doing henching for the Calculator? “Congratulations, you just pissed off Superman.” Oh Helena, I do love you. So, Oracle is dead. Except, Barbara Gordon is not. And tell the truth, Oracle isn’t exactly gone either. For now, Proxy is going to be the go-to girl when it comes to information retrieval, and Oracle is going to…I don’t know. Build a second internet, apparently. Good issue, good arc, but I was a little meh on the art. Also, here’s hoping that Mortis never makes another appearance, because good lord. Speaking of reappearances, hiya Misfit! I hope Gail tells us where she’s been, because I missed that girl.

Just kiss the poor detective, Steph. You know you want to. But enough of that. Frankly, the real star of this issue is the new Gray Ghost, Clancy Johnson. This nutbag is just completely adorable. He calls Steph his ‘beautiful bruise’. You precious, precious flower. Oh yeah, and Proxy is an angry abandoned child with a wild stripe in her hair. I’m getting a Jason vibe, and I don’t know why.

Wait a minute. I thought Aaron Langstrom was a tiny Bat-child? When did he go human? I would give another yell of Morrison ignores all canon but his own, except this entire arc is being written by Peter J. Tomasi.
…is Damian eating a Twinkie? Actually, if Alfred made it, it’s probably an eclaire, but still. This kid…he manages to be a genius one panel, a brat the next, and hilarious two panels after that. “That’s soooo incredibly interesting, I can’t wait to tweet it.” You precious child, I just want to strangle you with my love. You know, like your mom does. Zing! So, this White Knight is after all the relations of Arkham inmates? On one hand, while this will be an interesting situation to explore, you do know that eventually, the Knight will be targeting either Dick Grayson or Bruce Wayne because of their connections to Jason Todd, a current inmate, right? Right?

Oh my god, references to gay prison sex. Boys, never stop writing this book, I beg of you.

I take it back oh god I take it back! I have the worst case of crying. Booster! Baby! GET AWAY FROM THE END OF THE WORLD BEFORE YOU HURT YOURSELF!

Why. Why am I doing this to myself? Jaime was, is, was one of my favorite characters ever. My absolute favorite character introduced in comics following the year 2000. I loved that kid. I don’t want to see him lying on a table, still in his armor (his bug suit. He threw up in his bug suit. He was always good about losing his lunch in the early days.). I don’t want to listen to Booster and Skeets talking about taking him home. I don’t…what’s everyone else doing? Nate and Tora are fighting, Bea and Gavril are…oh. Okay. Get some, girl. Booster, you’re good at speechifying. But then again you’ve been getting in some good practice lately and-
oh my god.
Oh my god.
Cancel the lynch mob and the mourning vigils. Break open all the champagne. All of it. HE LIVES HE FUCKING LIVES GET ME MY BLUE RING JAIME REYES IS ALIVE!
Pfff Gavril and Booster’s faces. Huh, I just noticed how totally full of hunky blondes the JLI is. Well, okay then.

And that was this week in comics. Ahem. I have a date with some corned beef and cabbage, and maybe a celebratory entire bottle of Svedka in Jaime’s honor (not really, dad, I may be legal now, but that stuff stinks. Put down the gun.). Peace out, and I hope to see you here next week.

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So young, so violent, DAMN that rap music!

Six regular books, the end of a terrible mini, and an annual. What a week we have ahead of us, right! Right?

Oh right, Fail Train. And it’s an Aquaman week, swell. Okay, long story short, Aquaman bitches about Mera betraying him, bitchery, more bitching, loses a hand. Oh, and there was a bit with Deadman and the Hawks and how everyone has to do exactly what the White Ring says or goddamnit, it will end you. Why do I still pick up this book? Why, I ask?

…why does Rip’s mom look like Michelle?! Seriously, blonde woman wearing the Goldstar uniform and- Rani. Oh fuck. No, seriously, OH FUCK. Booster, I think I would prefer it if you banged your sister to you birthing a son from a little girl. I’m going to ignore everything else that happened in this issue and just go quitely freak out.

Damn. I mean, damn, Lobo. I really love watching this guy work. Most people generalize Lobo to be just a stupid thug on the lookout for his next buck, but few people realize that he’s actually a friggin’ genius. Know how he killed most of his people? With a virus that he invented when he was a kid. Remember that before you write him off as violent parody throwback to nineties heroes. Oh, Saturday nights when you can’t remember anything you do the next morning. I’ve never had one myself, but Tanga sure seems to know how to party. I like this mini quite a bit, two parts of it, anyway. Garbageman just doesn’t speak to me.

Okay, just from the cover of JSA: All-Stars, I’m kinda expecting a Silver Age story. Menace of the Puzzlemen? Really? “I like you a lot better when Cyclone is around. I think she soothes your inner jackass.” Oh, Al. I love you, I do. But you probably shouldn’t mock the little nancy boy that can turn your brain over in your head. Honestly, I really do want to know why the third Hourman gave Roxy a violin. It makes for one of those interesting little WTF side stories. I bet she eventually builds herself a robotic body and becomes his wife or something. Ohh, nevermind. She’s Lorna Pemberton now. That’s…cool?

I couldn’t get into the first Legion annual in awhile, I’m sorry to say. Everything about Princess Projectra and the Emerald Empress just makes me yawn. I love most of the female characters in Legion, but, they’ve just never really spoken to me. Soooo…next?

Oh my god Bane, you are simply the most adorable, awkward, gigantic man ever and I love you. But if I had to be a stripper working alongside that squealing Harley Quinn wannabe, I’d probably have killed her ages ago. Aaaand it’s rematch time with the Doom Patrol! You may remember that the Six fought them in their first mini following Villain’s United, and it was pretty kickass. Well, that kickassness has grown exponentially with the new Six versus the new Doom Patrol and, well, I’m kinda banking on it to be another draw. But hey, can we get back to Bane being awkward and adorable now, or do we have to wait another issue for that?

God damn, Talia. I’ve never really liked Ra’s al Ghul or his psychobitch hellspawn daughter, but now I have a legitimate reason. You don’t try to kill Catwoman. You just don’t. It’s a rule of comicdom. There are several untouchable comic women that must always come out okay in the end, and damnit, Catwoman is one of them. As for Harley…I want to see where this is going. I mean, is she actually going to do it, or is she going to lose her nerve at the last second? If I were her…but I’m not, so I guess I’ll just have to wait a month to find out.

I’m going to come out and say it right now, I think the Master-Hunter is Simon. It’s got to be. Also, incest! Kind of. That’s something that bugs me with Superboy and his relationships. After Tana Moon died, that scientist chick latched onto him. And after that, almost directly after that, he started dating Wonder Girl. Now that Cassie has been canned, he’s pretty much shown that he plans to, at some point, go out with Lori Luthor. The kid does things way too fast for my taste. Take a little time to heal, then go put the moves on your cousin, Kon.

That was this week in comics. Now, for something not exactly comics-related but still sort of, what would y’all think of me starting a new segment focusing on episodes of Young Justice to be released every Friday? I already liveTweet during the show, but would anyone prefer an actual review? Try and get back to me on that. This is ToG, signing off.

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Notice: We are now a gambling blog, apparently

Welcome to the first Wedesday of 2011, fanboys and fangirls! We’ve got five books and not a lot of time, mainly because the Heroclix players in my LCS are gradually encroaching on my writing space. Shall we begin?

And what was your new year’s resoluation, fail train? If it was ‘to still suck, storywise, but have vastly improved art’, okay, I guess you’re achieving that. Hi, Carol! Still touting the virtues of love? “My heart will kick your ass!” Seriously, that’s pretty much the Star Sapphires’ motto. This looks like it’s going to be a Hawks/Deadman issue, and I’m cool with that. I like the Deadman storyline, kinda. It’s basically the main storyline of Brightest Day, after all. This week, he’s visiting with his only living relative, his grandfather, who may or may not be the White Lantern. No, really. Look at that last page and tell me what you think.

JSA: All-Stars: Penis jokes still exist in mainstream comics. I don’t know if Tommy is going to keep the handle Wildcat or if he’s going to go by Tomcat now, a name he used to hate but now apparently likes. This bugs me, as I really like Tommy, so the ambiguity is painful. The Big Bad of this new arc seems to be Arthur Pemberton. Wait, Pemberton? As in Sylvester Pemberton, the Star Spangled Kid before Courtney Whitmore? This bears some investigation.

Weird Worlds is…weird. Three seperate stories in one book, two set in space, and one written and drawn by Kevin Maguire. Lobo, Garbageman, and Tanga. Will a book about these three survive a six-issue run? I hope so, I actually found this first issue pretty…good.

I think Adventure Comics may have the capacity to turn into a Mon-El book, which isn’t a bad thing, necessarily. I’m alright with a 31st century Green Lantern book, so long as it’s written well. And good lord, is it written well. Paul Levitz plays Lar’s Daxamite strength and invulnerability, as well as his weaknesses, alongside his new Green Lantern ring quite well, and I’m interested in what this ‘Adversary’ blue baby thing is. In other words, a 31st century Green Lantern book could have been handled worse.

So, guess what my favorite book of the week was? Oh man, who’d have thought that a book set in Smallville could be so awesome? This issue, though, was chock full of slashy undertones. First Bart shows up and tells Kon that Tim will be “jealous” of his fight with Poison Ivy, then Kon essentially pulls the jock/nerd breakup with his friend Simon. Wow, boys. But all jokes aside, this issue was pretty cool., what with the introdction of a new hero and Kon being sloppy with his secret identity. Only an issue or two to go before the Superboy/Kid Flash race, place your bets in advance!

Well, that’s all she wrote, folks. And she’s not going to write any more until she gets a midol and some dinner in her, so I guess that means I’m about done here. See you next week, don’t forget to turn out the lights and lock the door when you’re done.

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A small week, but still juicy! Like a pear!

Five titles? That’s it? Ohh yeah, it’s a five-week month, so the loads will be relatively light all month long. Well, that’s okay. Shall we begin?

“I’m Batman, and I can breathe in space.” All Shortpacked! readers know that joke, and that’s what the cover of fail train Brightest Day reminds me of. It’s another J’onn issue, and I’m not hooked. Back when it was being presented as a sort of mystery, I was intrigued by the Martian Manhunter portions of Brightest Day. Now that things seem to be coming to a climax, it just looks like one of those wah wah my planet is dead emo emo emo type deals, and I really don’t care. Next issue is supposed to be the origin of Aqualad, which I assume means sex between Black Manta and Mera, so stay tuned!

So, in my personal opinion, a book full of redheads is a damned fine thing. I love JSA: All-Stars. Cyclone is one of my favorite characters. So a mini-arc featuring Cyclone? Oh yes please. So, Cyclone was infested with nanites that made copies of her every time she sneezed on someone. I, I’m surprisingly okay with that explanation. And yay, random space battle causes King Chimera to stop being a dork and just make kissies with Maxine already! It does my shipper heart good to see warm fuzziness every now and then.

The Action Comics annual is all about young Lex Luthor and his earlier adventures in greatness. So, apparently Lex has been an apprentice to both Darkseid and Ra’s al Ghul? Intriguing. The stories were actually pretty good, for an annual, and I’m glad they were focused on Lex and not Jimmy.

God DAMN, Gail. Well, it looks like Giganta knows about Ryan Choi now. A moment of silence for the surely fallen Dwarfstar, he will not be missed. I really like Black Alice as a character. Unlike the paragons of virtue that make up the Teen Titans, Lori is both a teenager and a total brat. She has her moments of kindness, and she really does love her parents, but for the most part, she’s a horrible little monster and I just want to smack her repeatedly. My only real question concerning her is, when the heck is the confirmation on her relation to Misfit going to come up again? As a matter of fact, where is Misfit? I know that last one was technically a Birds of Prey question, but it’s all the same in the eyes of Mother Gail.

Adventure Comics is making me wig out a bit. I mean, Mon-El is the new Green Lantern? What? And if Tasmia is with Kirt now, why’s she still trying to persuade Lar to stay with the Legion? In a more than friendly way? I’m still not going to read the Atom second feature, because I still don’t care about you, Ray Palmer.

It’s the second night of Hanukah for you Hebrew and Shebrew readers of mine, hope you’re celebrating it like I am, with a buttload of good food! Until next week, my lovelies. Peace!

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That’s really super, Superboy

Eight books today, y’all. And the balance of power is restored to my wallet…not. I’ve got so many held books, I could make a house out of them. A series ends today. A series begins today. Sigh, let’s get this party started.

The fail train is particularly epic this week. An issue focused completely on the two most boring lovers in comics, Hawkman and Hawkgirl, with a guest appearance by Resurrection Man in the last two pages. Oh, and guess what? Bruce is about to ascend even higher up the food chain, as Boston is going to try transferring the power of the white ring to him. DC, listen up. The reason we’ve liked Batman all these years is because he’s just a mortal man with some really badass toys. I know that y’all are really into the rainbow Lantern brigade these days, but keep Batman out of it.

A classic tale retold: the death of Lightning Lad! I shouldn’t be as excited about that as I am, but I swear to god, this was one of my favorite Legion stories as a kid. No, I never saw the original issue, but I read the issue in a reprinted volume from the library. And I loved it. This issue is focusing on the events prior to and directly after Garth’s death, from Imra’s point of view. Also, we get an appearance of Mon-El! Whee! Ray Palmer, I don’t care for your adventures, good day. I said good day!

Guess who’s back? Back again? Bruce Wayne, bitches! Okay, this issue of Batman and Robin is essentially a lead-in to the new Batman: Incorporated series, and that’s alright. And is it just me, or is the BI emblem reminiscent of the old Batman movie emblem? As my boyfriend is so fond of saying, “Batman is just handing out cowls to anyone these days, huh?” In that vein of thinking, Jason Todd, crazy!Bats should be making a return any day, by the grace of Grant.

I don’t want to read the third issue of the new Namor series. I just don’t. I love Namor with the white hot power of a hundred suns, but even I can’t justify underwater vampires. So I’m not gonna read it. Screw you, Marvel, I’m done.

What’s better than Cyclone? Two Cyclones! And what’s better than two Cyclones? Three Cyclones! Oh, time travel, never stop being awesome and confusing at the same time. In the rest of the issue, the rest of the JSA: All-Stars are off in space for some reason fighting something. Yeah, I don’t know either.

Gail Simone never fails to astound me. She’s writing two different Secret Six teams within the same book, set in a place akin to the Savage Land, with a subplot involving Spy Smasher and Amanda Waller. There are so many things going on in this book, I feel like I should be confused, except everything fits together so well, I honestly can’t see how I would be. I never realized how much I liked Jeanette’s banshee form until I saw it for the second time. And Bane…he’s gone from walking steroid to MVP of the series, way to go. When I grow up, I think I want you be Gail Simone.

Red Hood: The Lost Days ends this month, with a bang. Literally. So, Jason and Talia have done it. Thanks, Judd, that was something I never wanted to know. But yeah, this was a pretty good end to a decent series, hopefully Jason will be in more books. I’ll be sad if this is the last thing we see him in for awhile.

I’ve been waiting for the new Superboy series since it was first announced at SDCC. Kon-El has always been one of my favorite characters just because of one thing: he’s shown that he’s capable of personal growth. When he first showed up on the scene, he was this little douche that had little more to his personality than punching things, flirting with girls, and insulting Lois Lane and Jimmy Olsen. Since his first appearance over a decade ago, he’s become one of the most popular young heroes in the DCU. And now, with a second series beginning, well, I can only assume his populariy is on the rise. I forsee this book to be about Kon defining himself as not just a hero, but as a person. And hey, if Tim should happen to guest-star in an issue or two, that’ll be just swell.

So, that was my week in comics. See you here next week, I hope. Plans for the Flickr are being set in motion, should come about by the weekend. Yes, it takes me that long. My picture folders haven’t been sorted through in awhile. Until next time, remember to spay and neuter your children. Peace!

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