Posts tagged awesome

What I thought to be a red ring kind of day has become so much…bluer.

March 10, 2011 · Filed under Uncategorized · Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Oh my god, you guys. Eleven books. And not a single one of them is fail train and- oh. Generation Lost. Ahem. Lemme get my red ring.

Let’s start out with the Legion of Super Villains one-shot. I’m a pretty damn big fan of Lightning Lord and Saturn Queen, so I’m a little disappointed that the third of their trio, Cosmic King, was absent from this book. This issue was all about the most evil of the evil attempting to have their universe descend into chaos by destroying ancient worlds that keep the balance. The Rock of Eternity was the first to go (and whoa, was that a Shazam-hand I spy?! Is Thunder going to be making an appearance?), and Oa will be the last, so what is the world in between? The art was amazing, by the way, and my metaphorical boner for Mekt Ranzz was renewed.

Weird Worlds is fun. The Lobo story featured a couple of murders and a political triple-cross, which is actually pretty typical for Lobo. Not as many explosions as I’m used to, though. The Tanga story was…amusing. Drunk monster fighting, I can get behind that.

Couldn’t get into Batman Inc this month, moving on.

“He’s like a mirror-universe Al Gore!” I love you, Hourman. Oh my god. Wildcat, Tommy you precious flower. “I’m on a boat!” That was the single best entrance ever. I hope Roxy keeps her body, I really do. Citizen Steel needs some lovin’ too. But she claims that being human grosses her out, so, que sera sera. The little epilogue with Tyler and Roxy was sweet, so, she does keep her body?

I guess being in love with your cousin runs in both sides of Kon’s family. Lori Luthor, you have something in common with Silver Age Superman, your uncle would be so proud. Wait a second, ‘Garth’? Kon, Beast Boy’s name is Garfield. I love how they touched on Kon and Bart’s friendship. I mean, everyone knows that Kon is gay for is best friends with Tim, but people are always forgetting his friendship with Bart. Neither of them had a normal childhood, both grew up in artificial enviornments, and both have very big shoes that they’ll eventually need to fill. The boys are bros. And the winner is…Krypto! Aww, puppy for the win. Congratulations, Krypto!

I’m just going to talk about puppet Zatanna. She is, at once, the most awesome, and most terrifying thing. Your soul trapped in a puppet that you have no control over? Aggggh. The art and plots in this book just get better and better, I’m never disappointed.

Excuse me, what are a bunch of Deadpool wannabes doing henching for the Calculator? “Congratulations, you just pissed off Superman.” Oh Helena, I do love you. So, Oracle is dead. Except, Barbara Gordon is not. And tell the truth, Oracle isn’t exactly gone either. For now, Proxy is going to be the go-to girl when it comes to information retrieval, and Oracle is going to…I don’t know. Build a second internet, apparently. Good issue, good arc, but I was a little meh on the art. Also, here’s hoping that Mortis never makes another appearance, because good lord. Speaking of reappearances, hiya Misfit! I hope Gail tells us where she’s been, because I missed that girl.

Just kiss the poor detective, Steph. You know you want to. But enough of that. Frankly, the real star of this issue is the new Gray Ghost, Clancy Johnson. This nutbag is just completely adorable. He calls Steph his ‘beautiful bruise’. You precious, precious flower. Oh yeah, and Proxy is an angry abandoned child with a wild stripe in her hair. I’m getting a Jason vibe, and I don’t know why.

Wait a minute. I thought Aaron Langstrom was a tiny Bat-child? When did he go human? I would give another yell of Morrison ignores all canon but his own, except this entire arc is being written by Peter J. Tomasi.
…is Damian eating a Twinkie? Actually, if Alfred made it, it’s probably an eclaire, but still. This kid…he manages to be a genius one panel, a brat the next, and hilarious two panels after that. “That’s soooo incredibly interesting, I can’t wait to tweet it.” You precious child, I just want to strangle you with my love. You know, like your mom does. Zing! So, this White Knight is after all the relations of Arkham inmates? On one hand, while this will be an interesting situation to explore, you do know that eventually, the Knight will be targeting either Dick Grayson or Bruce Wayne because of their connections to Jason Todd, a current inmate, right? Right?

Oh my god, references to gay prison sex. Boys, never stop writing this book, I beg of you.
…
I take it back oh god I take it back! I have the worst case of crying. Booster! Baby! GET AWAY FROM THE END OF THE WORLD BEFORE YOU HURT YOURSELF!

Why. Why am I doing this to myself? Jaime was, is, was one of my favorite characters ever. My absolute favorite character introduced in comics following the year 2000. I loved that kid. I don’t want to see him lying on a table, still in his armor (his bug suit. He threw up in his bug suit. He was always good about losing his lunch in the early days.). I don’t want to listen to Booster and Skeets talking about taking him home. I don’t…what’s everyone else doing? Nate and Tora are fighting, Bea and Gavril are…oh. Okay. Get some, girl. Booster, you’re good at speechifying. But then again you’ve been getting in some good practice lately and-
oh my god.
Oh my god.
Cancel the lynch mob and the mourning vigils. Break open all the champagne. All of it. HE LIVES HE FUCKING LIVES GET ME MY BLUE RING JAIME REYES IS ALIVE!
Pfff Gavril and Booster’s faces. Huh, I just noticed how totally full of hunky blondes the JLI is. Well, okay then.

And that was this week in comics. Ahem. I have a date with some corned beef and cabbage, and maybe a celebratory entire bottle of Svedka in Jaime’s honor (not really, dad, I may be legal now, but that stuff stinks. Put down the gun.). Peace out, and I hope to see you here next week.

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I rode 20 miles in the blazing sun with a heavy backpack to bring this post to you all

September 16, 2010 · Filed under Uncategorized · Tagged , , , , , , , , , ,

Only four books this week, guys. Man, I feel down. This may just be the shortest review I’ve ever done.

We’re gonna start this post off by checking in on the journey of the fail train. That’s right, folks! It’s another issue of Brightest Day, the book that changes everything as we know it, one week at a time. This week? The Firestorm matrix is the big bang.

…

Goodnight, everybody! See you next week! I’m done.

Sorry, I had to clear my head. I had a moment. Anyway, this week we’re focusing on the new Aqualad who is, as everyone has guessed and it was explicitly said, Black Manta’s son. The cover is an epic misdirection on DC’s part, as Deadman wasn’t even in this issue. It’s about as misleading as, oh I don’t know, putting Hal Jordan and Barry Allen on the cover of a comic about Wally West and Kyle Rayner.

…

Yeah, I’m still bitter about that. Moving on. See you in two weeks, fail train.

The last-page reveal of the big bad of Green Lantern: Emerald Warriors finally has a name! Zardor of Kralok. Practically oozes evil and malice, doesn’t it? Man, I’m so looking forward to this series in a way that I haven’t looked forward to a series in quite awhile. Here’s to hoping we finally get some more info on Bleez, bone-winged ragehead of the Red Lantern Corps. Also, and maybe I’m just riding the stupidmobile, but since when did Arisa have a thing for Sodam Yat? I’m looking through backissues and they just seemed like friends. But now it’s like she’s crushing on him? What? Okay, DC, if you say so…

Oh, what’s this? A Marvel title? Looks like I lied, folks! Five books this week, with the addition of a Deadpool book. Augh, damn you, Deadpool. I try to get out, you just suck me right back in with your Deadpooly goodness. And look, he’s got Steve Rogers with him in this issue! Damn you, Marvel! Playing on my love of men in spandex like that! It was an overall good issue. Good art, good little storyline; Deadpool wants to buy a burrito, ends up fighting a terrorist and a bunch of government operatives, also Steve Rogers. See, this is what I mean. This is a good premise, and your average Deadpool comic ends up looking like a Simpsons episode with exploding heads and dismemberment. I like this very much, and not just because, well, it’s Deadpool. The Merc with the Mouth. Bringer of the awesome. I think that if I keep along these lines, someone out there is going to end up figuring out that I don’t hate Marvel as much as I pretend to. Because, and may I someday be forgiven by the lords of the internet, I just can’t hate Deadpool.

Hi, Gail? Yeah, it’s me again, ToG. Um, no, this isn’t about Secret Six, this is about the latest issue of Birds of Prey. I just read it and, well…are Savant and Creote ‘together’ now? Because that very, very long hug in the rain made my heart wibble a bit. Oh, and I saw the not-so-subtle nod to Ted Kord, very nice. The creepy obsession Penguin has for Dove is a nice touch, too. But about that main question, about Savant and Creote..? Should I start assembling a taskforce of slashfic writers now or in a few weeks? Hope you can get back to me soon.

I hope Paul Dini stays on the Zatanna book forever. I mean it. I hope the book runs for the rest of his lifetime, and that he’s the permanent writer. Because I don’t think I could ever get tired of these storylines. Casino owner who sold his soul to the devil, Zee and Zach being all cousinly, terrible nicknames…I love this series. Five issues in, and I already know how much I love this series. Bless you, Paul Dini.

Well, that was this week in comics for me. I’ve got some room redecoration to get to now, see you next week? Wonderful. This is ToG saying, peace out groovebots!

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Come on in, the Comics are Fine!

May 26, 2010 · Filed under Uncategorized · Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Gonna be switching comic stores in a week, darlings, so the book load may suffer a bit for a while. But that is for later. For now, we’ve got ten books to address, and boy do I hope they don’t suck.

Gotham City Sirens is officially a year old! Twelve issues in, and I’m still as hooked as I was at issue one. The open-ended plot hole from the Blackest Night: Catwoman issue is finally acknowledged! Maggie Kyle has completely flipped her shit, ladies and gentlemen. She’s convinced that there’s a demon is the Catwoman (please hold all porn title jokes), and that she alone can save her. It’ll be sister vs. Sister in a battle for Selina’s very soul!

This month, Kara and Atlee take a little homoerotic trip through Atlee’s home city. The fanboys are gonna freak when they get a look at their spa-wear. A bit of “BFF bonding” later, Atlee takes Kara to meet her parents. Yeah, I really hope I’m not the only one getting the feeling that Atlee is taking Peeg through the standard boyfriend hoops. Skip a bit further into the issue and lo and behold, Vartox is back! To, uh, harass Kara some more, apparently. The issue ends with yet another blast from the past as the Vega 9 girls invest in Starrware and Kara’s employees throw her a party. Fun fact: there is nothing nerdier than sipping champagne from beakers.

Gonna read Green Lantern now. I kinda feel like dropping this title because it’s been kinda dull and- oh. THE RAGE KITTY RETURNS! Okay, I may not be too keen on the emotional spectrum idea, but any Corps that inducts felines made of pure hate is good in my book. The entities of the emotional spectrum have names now, bby the way. I myself am partial to Adara the Hope and Proselyte the Comassionpus. The thing looks like an octopus, guys. I’m gonna be calling it the Compassionpus from now on. And oh my, someone seems to be capturing entities. Looks like we’ve stumbled into our next story arc! Also, it looks like Atrocious has a crush on Mera. This…properly executed, this could end up being hilarious. And finally- wait, Lobo?! What the heck is he doing here? Okay, I’m intrigued. Green Lantern, you’re off the chopping block for now.

Ganthet is awesome. Seriously, read Green Lantern Corps. The guy renounced his Guardian status to become a Green Lantern, the forged his own power ring. Badassery is flowing off of him in waves. In other news, joining the Alpha Lanterns no longer seems to be a choice. God rest ye poor souls of justice.

And Roy too seems to have flipped! I mean, not that I blame him. But, fighting Cheshire with a stapler?! Royboy, you can do better. And then there was bondage! And then…sex. Or not. Bwahaha, cockblocked by grief. Oh. Oh god. Oh, no, baby. Don’t fall off the wagon. Nonono…don’t, god, Roy. What have you done to yourself? What have you done to your friend? I, I don’t think I can read this anymore.

(please note that the above review was written as I read the comic. This is a reaction review at best, and I apologize.)

The art in The Return of Bruce Wayne really sucked this month. At one point, Booster has a horse face. I am not pleased. But the story was pretty good. Pick it up, boys and girls, you won’t be disappointed.

I was really excited for Teen Titans this month. Not the main story, but the second feature. Zachary Zatara is going to be in comics again! I danced with joy. But will the actual story live up to expectations? “Cyborg moves in mysterious ways”. I snorted. I did. Ask anyone. And Gar? Please. Shut the hell up about Raven. We get it, she’s priority-1 for you. Now shut up. Oh, and it looks like Cassie’s pulling the “I’m the leader” card regarding her massive case of PMS. Stress on, stressy. Ooh, now Kon and Lorena are getting all chummy. Man, does everyone on this team have PMS this month? All the chicks seemed to be synched up. Now, before anyone emails me about being sexist, stop. I’m a girl. I get PMS. Ocassionally, my best friend and I synch up for the ultimate in bitchery. And now back to our scheduled programming. Juust in time for the second feature, excellent. Oh, Zat. I know why you’re miserable. You miss Eddie. Just let it out, hon. Ooh, looks like he’s gonna get his wish, too! God, I love this second feature more than I love the actual comic.

Ah, Justice League: Generation Lost. Let’s hope that it won’t be like last wee-

“Ted Kord committed suicide.”

Rrrgh. NERD RAGE. MAAAAAAAX! I swear, I’m nerdraging so hard right now, I’m surprised that there isn’t a red ring on this finger. ARGH. AND HE BROKE UP GUY AND ICE?!

…

Get my coat and hat, I’m going hunting.

Oh, wait. He’s leaving Booster alone. So far. And then comes the best damn comic speech I’ve ever read. Oh Booster, I love you so.

OH MY GOD IN HEAVEN ABOVE

TED MAY BE ALIVE

AND MONITORING THE JLI

HOLY BALLS

I’ll be in my bunk, you guys. Until next week, this is ToG, signing out. Peace.

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Brightest Da- oh who cares

May 5, 2010 · Filed under Uncategorized · Tagged , , , , , , , ,

I’ve got dinner waiting on me, so this will have to be quick.

This month in JSA: All-Stars, Anna Fortune fucks up, Johnny Sorrow is a total creep, and King Chimera is probably the baddest of asses.
But I digress.

The actual issue takes place before Blackest Night, so Damage is still around to fight another battle. All the subtle references to his death were heartbreaking to read, if you picked up on them. As it turns out, Johnny Sorrow has been after Courtney all this time because only a kiss filled with love from her would turn him into a human again. So he disguised himself as Al. WHAT. Yeah, so the last two issues have all been about screwing with the shippers. Well played Sturges, you glorious bastard. End result has both Johnny Sorrow and the King of Tears (and wouldn’t that be a great name for a rock band?) defeated, Atom Smasher is back on the team, there’s a little bit of teamly bonding and- wait, what’s this? Is Al trying to hit on Anna, a chick who is probably the same age as Courtney? Talk about repeat offenses, oy.

The second feature was actually pretty entertaining this month, equal parts humor and adventure. I especially loved the interaction between Icicle and Hourman at the end. Booze heals all wounds, it seems.

Batman and Robin is ridiculously awesome this time around. And that’s before Dick slugs Deathstroke the freaking Terminator. The issue starts out with Robin attacking Batman, his body under the control of Slade. Dick discovers that hurting Damian hurts Slade as well, so he hit him with a taser. Repeatedly. Cut to the dynamic duo paying a courtesy visit to Mummy Fearest and her League of Assassins. Who is apparently in the cloning business, when she reveals that she has made another tiny fetus copy of Damian to smother with her insanity. Oh, that’s not going to come back and bite her in the ass at all. Long story short, Damian is officially the Al Ghul black sheep and banned from all family reunions forever. Back in Gotham, Black Glove seems to be back in town, and Dick, Alfred, and Damian discover the first official proof of Bruce’s whereabouts. And then, in the twist I honestly did not see coming, the identity of Mr. Sexton is revealed. I’m not saying anything, but I’m pretty sure I shat a brick when I turned to the last page and saw…well, go get the issue yourself to find out.

Red Robin was a mixture of suck and win this month, and it kinda got to me. The guest characters protecting the targeted characters was pretty cool, and seeing Kid Flash and Superboy drawn in Marcus To’s style was a nice surprise. Having Tim pretty much officially become Bruce was not. I mean, he’s now the CEO of Wayne Enterprises and Ra’s Al Ghul called him ‘Detective’, his nickname for Bruce. This fan is not pleased. Then again, I did enjoy watching Tim get kicked through a window only to land in Dick’s arms. That, and the little moment the entire Batfamily has together in the Cave kinda balances out the nerdrage I’m feeling reading this issue. Then again, Ra’s pretty much told everyone who reads this comic that he’s going to send Talia to rape Tim, which is squick personified and so the nerd rage continues. Hooray for Vicki Vale bringing some levity to this otherwise dark comic with the splash page featuring Tim’s “engagement” to Tam Fox. And boy is Steph piiissed…

Secret Six was a bit of a snooze for me this time around. Lots of scenes of Catman tracking people and snatches of his life as a child. Snoooore. Black Alice really made this issue for me. I do hope she’s a permanent fixture on the team. From stealing the powers of Dr. Occult to find Thomas, to getting into a fight with Scandal over nothing (“An’, an’ I know you want Peter! You want my boyfriend!” “Wait, she does? Wait, boyfriend?!”) while stealing the powers of Etrigan and molding them to her own use as the demon Estrogan. I love you, Lori. Never, ever stop being a brat.

Brightest Day officially starts this week, and I am conflicted. I’m gonna read it because I want to stay on top of things, but I’m still going to be bitching about the people the white light revived. Y’know what? Screw it. Brightest Day had a really weak start, so I’m not going to bother to review it. This is Touch of Grey signing off for this week.

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I, I’m Back?

March 25, 2010 · Filed under Uncategorized · Tagged , ,

Well now, isn’t this embarrassing. I’ve been away from WordPress for a rather long time, but I’m back now and I promise that this time, I’m back for good.

I mean, it’s not like I haven’t been blogging just about every day, but it’s mostly about my life and barely about comics. Okay, that’s a lie. It’s 60% about my life. The rest of the time I’m bitching about having to drop books in order to afford the new books that I want. For all I’ve had to give up to continue to buy Teen Titans, it had better be awesome. Like, Eisner Award-winning awesome. Every issue. I gave up R.E.B.E.L.S. and Batman and Robin for this book, I expect some bang for my buck.

Let’s see, what else? Since last we met I’ve dropped R.E.B.E.L.S., Batman and Robin, New Mutants, Green Arrow/Black Canary, and Titans from my pull list; gone through a bout of depression; met a guy and moved in with him; seen my best friend through three boyfriends, three moves, an eviction, and her dad being arrested; become addicted to Jamba Juice; significantly improved my already vast action figure collection; successfully predicted the death of Billy Mayes; gotten a Twitter account; killed OVER 9000 hours on Gaia Online; turned 20; got a netbook from my boyfriend for Christmas (it’s purple, and I put a giant green Flash symol decal on the lid); finally gave in and just started being Jewish; and last but not least, learned how to make slideshow videos with One True Media.

It’s been a long, hectic nine months. Stay tuned for the comic review later today.

And this time, I mean it.

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