Posts tagged Teen Titans

2013 smells like Speed Force

January 3, 2013 · Filed under Uncategorized · Tagged , , , , , ,

Welcome to 2013, folks! Today we have three books up on the chopping block; two I love, and one that I love to hate. Let’s just jump right in!

Ha, oh Teen Titans. You know, I do believe I’ve had just about enough of you. As usual, Lobdell’s dialogue is weak, the general story is abysmal, and the idea that Tim is perfect with no flaws and knows everything…but still manages to get outsmarted by the Joker is just…bad writing. Okay? This book? Bad. I’ve been taking issue with it all year long, but I can’t do this anymore. No one addresses how Skitter has just been gone since before the end of the Culling event, no one really addresses how Superboy seems to pick and choose when he actually wants to be part of the team, they let Danny the street commit suicide to bring them home, and the last arc was all about how Cassie is bad at relationships. Teen Titans is not a good book. I’ve been unwilling to drop it because…they’re my babies. Bart, Tim, Cassie, Kon, even Kiran and Miguel. They’re my babies. I grew up with the first four, and grew to love Kiran before Lobdell got his talons into her. Miguel is darling in small doses, and could be amazing under a proper writer. So this is it. My sendoff. I’ll read the final issue of the DotF crossover for it, but I won’t be reviewing it. Goodbye Teen Titans, you were fucking horrible.

Batman Incorporated is one of those books that, if you want a payoff right now, you’re not going to like. Grant Morrison has been building up this storyline for years, ever since Talia lost Damian to his father. Her aborted attempt to get him back in Batman and Robin, only to end with her expelling him from her side of the family, seems to have been a feint, to see what he’d do. As it seems, mother dearest has been keeping tabs on her beloved Detective and her baby boy all along, going as far as to incapacitate the Dead Heroes Club…permanently, as it would look, in the case of Freight Train and the Knight. Ooh, yeah, moment of silence for him. After his Squire has a near-miss with the dark lady, a servant of the Demon’s Head takes out her protector. That really stung, as their mini was excellent, and I’d hoped that their involvement in Batman Inc might lead to them gaining popularity, and possibly their own book. In lighter news, this issue seems to include the origin of Alfred the cat, one of the only characters that seems to follow Damian into adulthood. Oh, a thought came to mind. As odd as it may be, I think Talia is the only person intimately connected to the Bat that has been left out of the Death of the Family event…which leads me to believe that the Joker is afraid of her. Smart move there, clown.

As you all may know, Flash #15 was supposed to come out last week, but a tricky thing called ‘Christmas’ waylaid it until today. Which is a damn shame, really, as this issue would have been the perfect thing to end 2012 on, for me. Reading it, I got shivers, especially on the last nine pages. Don’t get me wrong, Marcus To is a master storyteller. His craft, his art, is spectacular, and the first eleven pages of this issue could not have been handled more beautifully. But Francis Manapul…I have creative heroes. I have creative crushes. And then there’s Francis Manapul. With only Barry’s sparse mental dialogue and the images of possible futures, should the humans of Central and Keystone attempt to keep defying Grodd, Manapul manages to fit issues worth of content into nine pages. He has ascended to Perez-esque levels when it comes to attention to detail and is, in my opinion, out of the ridiculous stable of talent they have assembled, DC’s current top artist. I realize that this is more of a critique of the creators than a review of the issue, but trust me. Flash #15 is not an issue you want to miss.

And that was this week in comics. If you’ve got the spare dollars, I also cannot recommend Glory, American Vampire, the final issue of Punk Rock Jesus, and the first issue of Fionna and Cake enough. See you next week when I take a look at Animal Man and Swamp Thing!

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Hell is a place on Earth (called Gotham City)

November 29, 2012 · Filed under Uncategorized · Tagged , , , , , ,

Before I jump into this week’s comics, I’d like to have a moment of silence for James Jesse. On this day, five years ago, a terrible Crisis tie-in series killed him off. Some may call it an act of mercy, seeing as the rest of the series seemed hellbent on driving his friend Hartley Rathaway completely bugfuck insane. Comics have felt dry and devoid of any rubber chicken-related humor ever since.

So, who called it? I mean, of course Laurie was going to go back to her mom in the end. The series had to end like that. But she also killed a man with a high-heeled shoe to the throat and a hippie bus, so there’s that. All in all? The Silk Spectre Before Watchmen mini wasn’t bad. I’m saying this as someone who was never really a huge fan of the original Watchmen book in the first place, though, so your mileage may vary.

Well, at least the art was good. DC, I’m begging you. I’m throwing myself on the ground at your feet and fucking pleading with you, take Scott Lobdell off Teen Titans. Take him off it. Give the book to someone else, cancel it, I don’t care, just get Scott Lobdell away from my babies. Cassie deserves more than just being the center of a love…er, rectangle? Whether Diesel died or not was never really made clear. But anyway, she’s so much more than just a love interest, and Lobdell simply doesn’t understand that. Same goes for Kiran. I want to know how she ended up in that state, and who the meta offering to turn her human again is. But it’s likely that this plot, just like the one with Skitter, will be ignored until after the Death of the Family tie-in issues. Speaking of which, Lobdell has two books that tie into Death of the Family, Teen Titans and Red Hood and the Outlaws. My soul weeps.

Ha. Hahaha. Hahahaha Bruce you douchebag. We return this month to the world of Batman #666, where Damian was both Batman and a loving cat owner. Things I’m glad to see: wheelchair Babs, Alfred the cat, Damian’s shaved head. Things I’m not glad to see: that the entire Batman #666 future scenario is a dream that Bruce had, which is his main reason for sending Damian away and keeping him at an arm’s length. You lunatic, you had a dream. Dreams do not dictate the future unless you are Naltorian. So shut the hell up and let your League of Assassins-trained child be a superhero. He’s certainly a lot more qualified than you or the rest of your Robins ever were.

I was a little confused by this month’s Flash, so I ended up going back and reading it twice. Okay, so. What happened this issue? Well, uh. Flash ran around fighting Grodd. I’m not disappointed with this issue, not completely, as there was a great scene with the Rogues where Lisa temporarily relinquishes control of ‘her’ team so that they have a better chance of making it out alive, not to mention the nice bits with Patty and Turbine, and the relevance of that dang gorilla from issue #9 finally came to light…but where is Axel? Piper and David? I mean, we see Forrest getting kidnapped by Grodd’s army, but how are the rest of the Central City Police Force faring? I don’t know. As far as showcasing Grodd’s strengths and Barry’s weaknesses when fighting against someone connected to the Speed Force, this issue was fantastic. But still, it was basically a big fight scene with a bit of exposition attached, so that’s a bit of a turn off for me, personally.

Not a bad way to end a month! Also of note, the new Adventure Time and American Vampire came out this week, I highly recommend picking them up! See you next week when we start the countdown to the end of 2012 with Animal Man, Swamp Thing, Minutemen, and the Death of the Family tie-in issue of Detective Comics. Have a good Wednesday, folks!

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When do you offer a handshake to a 500 lb gorilla?

October 25, 2012 · Filed under Uncategorized · Tagged , , , , ,

DC blows its wad a bit early this week, with three books for me to look over. We’ve got one week left to October, guys! Anyway, let’s just jump right in.

Batman Inc is…odd. It’s never been a staple title for me, mainly because, aside from the way he writes Damian Wayne, I’ve never really been fond of Grant Morrison’s Batman work. He’s a great writer, and I’m a big fan of his Animal Man and All-Star Superman, and while it’s clear that he loves Batman and is very passionate about him, it just doesn’t click well with me. In any case, this issue is the fighting debut, and possible finale, of Damian’s new identity, Redbird. Still laughing over that name. For the uninitiated, the Redbird was Tim Drake’s car back when he was Robin. Not to mention that Tim is “Red Robin” now…sending us mixed signals, Dami dear. The surprise identity reveal of Wingman at the end has me hoping for future team-ups between the two, but it’s not really seeming likely.

This month’s Teen Titans features the revised origin of Cassandra Sandsmark, the one and only (according to DC) Wonder Girl! And it sucks. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. But this book currently sucks so much dick, I feel like I should be paying it extra. Maybe it’s just me, but I prefer my heroes to be heroic. Having Cassie start off as a thief, even before she meets the ‘bad news boyfriend’, under the nose of her mom, for heaven’s sake?! I don’t care how clueless a parent is, they fucking notice when the child that travels everywhere with them is a jewel thief. The complete lack of Kid Flash, Solstice, Bunker, and Skitter (who hasn’t been seen at all in months) in this issue didn’t help. No, sure, send the wannabe love triangle off on a mission alone with only one person with powers, I’m sure that’s gonna work out fine.

Okay, this is important. Past this point, there are going to be major spoilers for this new issue of Flash. Ready? Let’s go.

I have one thing to say about this month’s issue of the Flash:
It’s not Axel.
Behold, Axel as he appeared in issue #12:

And this is the Trickster that appeared in Flash #13:

Observe. In #12, Axel has longer hair, those ridiculous Liefeld shoulder pouches for his T-bombs, a symbol on his belt, yellow and blue plaid pants, and long blue gloves. He is not wearing an overshirt. His mask also connects in the middle. The Trickster in #13 is lacking the shoulder pouches, wearing striped pants, no symbol on his belt, has an overshirt, has much shorter hair, and his mask doesn’t connect.
We’ve been duped, folks. Unless this is an enormous oversight in costume continuity, Axel dressed up a pal of his in a similar costume and sent him to play nice with the monkeys.
Meanwhile, the gorillas have speed! Kind of. Their speed is definitely enhanced to the point where it’s hard for Barry to fight them. Actually, the Rogues are probably more suited to this task than he is, as they’ve been fighting a speedster for years. Speaking of, I like how Marco is sort of the moral compass of the Rogues. He was the first to object to just leaving Barry there to fight alone, and seemed perfectly willing to stay and fight by his side. By the way, I’m now officially 80% certain that Captain Daryl Frye is Barry’s real father. I mean, you don’t keep a picture of just anyone’s dead wife/mother in your office, unless you made something with her that’s still around.

That was this week in comics. If you didn’t see it yet, A-Babies versus X-Babies also came out today, and it is adorable. I’m Touch of Grey, and if anyone needs me, I’ll be in my room with a nice glass of denial rum.

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Zero Month ends not with a whimper…but with a lightning crash!

September 27, 2012 · Filed under Uncategorized · Tagged , , , , , ,

Welcome to the final week of zero month! We’ve got a pretty small haul today, only four books, but I’m very excited about, er, two of them! Let’s just dive on in!

Excuse me if I’m wrong, but isn’t the origin of Batman Inc the entire Batman Inc series from before the reboot? Because, wow, yeah, this entire issue read like Batman Inc: The Director’s Cut. I like how Morrison made sure to let us know that the Black Glove storyline is still apparently canon, though, minus Tim Drake as Robin, if Lobdell is to be believed. Nightrunner made it into the New 52! And Dark Ranger/Squire is a thing. These are both very good ideas, in my eyes. Let’s not lose them somewhere along the way.

Tim Drake: The best goddamn thing to ever happen to the DC universe at large, you betcha! Scott Lobdell, you are making me want to vomit. I just…Tim figured out Batman’s identity on his own because he figured out who Robin was, when Dick was Robin. He took it upon himself to seek out Bruce after Jason died, because Batman needs a Robin. He wasn’t too busy for his family, they were too busy for him…until a tragic accident that left his mother dead and his father in a wheelchair. This is Tim Drake’s secret origin. He’s a smart kid whose boner for Batman got a little too hard to hide, so he pretty much forced his way into the Robin suit. Oh, I’m sorry, the Red Robin suit. Which is basically just the OYL, “these are his colors” Robin suit. So. His parents are in the Witness Protection Program, and he’s been adoptedish into the Batman family. Which means that “Tim Drake” probably isn’t even his real name. Oh, by the way, I’m going to pull something straight from the DC website: ” Plus: The beginnings of Skitter and Bunker.” They got one panel. One panel, which they shared, on the second to last page of the book. Lobdell, you’re fired. I’m firing you. Someone get Chuck Dixon on the line, we’ve got a lot of backtracking to do.

I’ve loved every issue of National Comics I’ve read, so far. Eternity was a new take on a character I knew and loved. Looker was a, pardon the pun, look into a character I’d never heard of, but liked anyway. Rose and Thorn, however, I knew pretty well, but didn’t always like. The original Thorn was a woman named Rose Canton, who was the first wife of Alan Scott and mother of his two children, Jenny-Lynn and Todd. She was actually a Golden Age Flash villain, which was pretty cool, and reading those stories was how I got to know her. I liked that version of Rose and Thorn, even though Rose ended up committing suicide so that Thorn couldn’t hurt anyone else. The most recent version of Rose and Thorn, pre-reboot, was a woman named Rhosyn Forrest, who developed a split personality in order to avenge her father’s murder. I dunno, I was more fond of the villain persona, myself. Then again, I also liked the Daredevil villain, Bloody Mary, so don’t judge me. This new version of Rose and Thorn seems like a combination of the first two. It’s Rose Canton again, but she’s after her father’s killer, like Rose Forrest was. This issue was really pushing the T rating it was given, pushing it as far as it would go. I wouldn’t personally recommend giving it to someone under 16, or anyone who is triggered by blood. All in all, it was a good issue in a good series, and I’d be very happy to see Rose and Thorn become an ongoing book.

I have exactly one complaint about Flash #0, and that is the use of the surname ‘West’ for the first criminal Flash catches. That’s not cool, Manapul. Not cool at all. In other news, I think Barry Allen is illegitimate. I mean, his mom is a redhead and his dad has dark hair, meanwhile, the “friend” of his mother’s that takes him in after her murder is blonde with blue eyes. I’m actually more invested in the secret life of Nora Allen than the story everyone knows. Lightning strikes through chemicals, hits a police scientist. Barry Allen becomes the fastest man alive. It’s a great story, a classic story. There’s no need to change it, because it’s perfect the way it is. Though, the fact that the Johns-created idea that Nora Allen was murdered during Barry’s childhood was a holdover from the DCU, it irks me. Because what’s the point? Why does Barry Allen need the same dead parent backstory that Bruce Wayne, Clark Kent, Hal Jordan, Arthur Curry, and countless other major characters within the DCU have? Sigh. Still, the origin of the Flash suit is awesome, both visually and in explanation, and it’s nice to see that a story with just Barry can still keep my attention. I feel justified in saving this comic for last, because it’s definitely the best one I’ve read this week.

And that was September! If you’ll excuse me, American Vampire volume 4 (as well as issues 28-31) are calling to me. Be sure to come back next week, because I’ll be tackling the newest issues of Animal Man, Swamp Thing, Green Lantern, and Earth-2!

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Have Rogues, will travel.

August 22, 2012 · Filed under Uncategorized · Tagged , , , ,

Should I feel sad that there are only three books this week? Maybe, but one of those books is Flash, so allow me to show you all the fucks I do not give. In any case, aside from Flash, we’ve got Batman Inc and Teen Titans, and at least one of those is going to drive me into a frothing rage, so let’s get on with the madness, already.

They pushed the third issue of Batman Inc back a month after the tragic shooting in Aurora, Colorado. Why? Well, the teacher all but threatening a classroom full of kids on the first page may have had something to do with it. Other disturbing imagery, such as a man being asphyxiated via a plastic bag and what appeared to be two children being hung may have also added to it. Don’t want anything freaky being attached to the sacred Batman name, right? Ha. In any case, I don’t think I’ll be reviewing this issue. Instead, I’m going to take another shot at the reboot. Last week, I talked about how, instead of doing a hard reboot, like they’d done with the Superman, Flash, and Wonder Woman franchises, Green Lantern and Batman remained relatively untouched. Seeing as this new Batman Inc is basically a direct continuation of the last Batman Inc series, and stuff from several years ago, such as Ventriloquist having Matches Malone killed, is still canon, I’m going to go out on a limb and say that only Barbara Gordon and Tim Drake were touched at all. Why? Why do this, DC? Batman and Green Lantern have the two most needlessly complicated continuities ever. Y’all had the chance to simplify, and you chose to complicate. For shame. Actually, now that I think about it I will say something about this issue of Batman Inc, and that is this: Damian Wayne is an adorable little brat. He’s taken on a new identity, Redbird. For those of you not in the know, Tim Drake’s old car when he was Robin was called the Redbird. You’ll also notice that Damian uses escrima sticks, the nonlethal weapon of choice of his mentor, Dick Grayson. He took things from two previous Robins to make his new role. Precious baby.

Oh my god, Cassie. You…I don’t understand you. One minute, you’re glad to be free of the Silent Armor, the next, you’re all pissed off that your ex stole it from you, because you have to wear it. And then the underlying narrative about Tim and Kon both having a thing for her…ladies please. She’s her own woman, and your supposed friend. Focus on saving her life before you argue over her like she’s a particularly tasty piece of cake. Meanwhile, over in the Kid Flash backup, dinosaurs! Seriously, that’s it. A little dinosaur fight scene, a part about Steg and Dax mutating snakes, a quip from Bart, the end. It’s five pages long. I can’t in good conscience call it a true backup. I mean, c’mon now.

I’m gonna die I’m gonna die I’m gonna die oh my god my babies.
Ahem.
I’m trying to not have an epic freakout here, to be clear, concise, and informative regarding this issue of the Flash, but my babies are all suited up and back in action. Piper’s got his best costume yet on, zipping around the city on a motorcycle stopping his former comrades, catching Len before he’s smashed into Len-paste, Axel’s officially Trickster, Lisa is a freaking babe, Mark is basically the same as ever with a beard, Mirror Master may be Sam Scudder, and aaaaah I can’t.
I’ll try. I must.
I can’t.
I’m a Rogues fan through and through. I’ve enjoyed the non-Rogue issues of the Flash in the New 52, but my god. Putting them in is like adding chocolate chips to banana bread. The bread tastes great on its own, but it’s only when you add that little extra zing that you realize just how much better it could be.

That was this week in comics. To all Floridians, we’ll be having a hurricane this Friday, so do try to prepare. It’s only a category one, but you never know. See y’all next week for Justice League, Minutemen, and several annuals, including the continuation of this week’s Flash!

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What’s red and yellow and awesome all over?

July 26, 2012 · Filed under Uncategorized · Tagged , , , , , ,

It’s the last Wednesday of the month! With only four books on the menu, as usual, I know I should feel sad. But I can’t be sad. Because it’s new Flash day. This is a big deal, for me. It’s one of the few books that produces next to no rage from me, and I won’t let the fact that Teen Titans also comes out this week spoil it for me.

On a completely different note, Green Lantern! It looks like the main character status will be switching from Sinestro to Hal, which means that my enjoyment of this book will soon be impacted. But for now, I’m going to let the good times roll. Black Lanterns are a thing again! Which means that the reboot didn’t affect Blackest Night or, I’m assuming, Brightest Day. Crisis on Infinite Earths never happened, but Rainbow Lanterns Go did. Take a minute to digest that. My bitching aside, it’s nice to see William Hand back in print. He’s one of those classically creepy as fuck characters who, under Geoff Johns’ pen, has evolved into a nightmare of humanity that literally makes my skin crawl. His goal for the duration of this story, if not his new mission in unlife, is to kill people. He is going to kill lots of people, reanimate them, and have them kill other people. That’s his whole thing. Well, good to know that his time wearing an Indigo ring did absolutely nothing to impact his personality, which is the entire reason the rings exist in the first place.

Okay, before I say anything else, weren’t these guys on an island? Where is the island? A Bart solo story will be taking place on the island in DC Universe Presents next month, you’d think they’d still be on the damn island. Oh wait, no, Danny the Street transported them back home last issue in an act that was so completely last minute, I forgot it even happened. Sigh. Anyway, this time on Teen Titans, complete fucking insanity. No, I’m serious. Bart, Miguel, and Kiran fight a new potential teammate Miguel picked up on ‘Gregslist’ (one guess as to what that is parodying), Cassie’s evil ex is honing in on her armor, Kiran and Bart are ‘just friends’ in love, and Cassie’s armor is freaking out, causing her to lose control on it and go evil. There. That’s the entire issue in a sentence. I don’t know if I can do this anymore. I know I’ve likened Teen Titans to an abusive partner before, but this is getting ridiculous. It’s wounding me on a spiritual level, now. I don’t know how much more of this I can take.

A little history for you. Kid Eternity, in his original incarnation, was a child who had died 75 years too early. So, he was returned to life as an agent of Chaos and given the power to bring back dead people, who helped him fight bullies and stuff that a kid would use the ghosts of famous people for. His next incarnation, a Vertigo series, had the Kid using his powers to locate the next Dalai Lama. The most recent version of Kid Eternity was cheated of his full potential, big time. He still had the power to bring back the dead, but this time, he became them for only a few minutes at a time. He was also eventually murdered by the Calculator, who used him and his power to bring back his son, Marvin. Another thing, Kid’s real name was Kit, short for Christopher Freeman, and he was the long lost brother of Freddy Freeman, aka Captain Marvel Junior. With the way Freddy is in the reboot, I really don’t think I want to see them interact. But to the story!
The reboot version of Kid Eternity isn’t much of a kid at all…in fact, he’s 27, and he works as a police coroner. He and his father were both shot in a drive-by, but Chris came back, and now he has the power to bring back the recently deceased to try and solve their murders. An interesting origin to start with, and certainly a lot cooler than a guy who runs around bringing back dead superheroes and fighting crime. Our story follows an ordinary day in the life of Christopher, as he solves the murder of an antique shop owner. I’m not going to ruin the mystery for you if you haven’t read it, because the story is really quite good. And why wouldn’t it be? It’s penned by Jeff Lemire, after all! Sorry, I’ve had a ridiculous respect for this man ever since I first read Sweet Tooth, and his work with Animal Man hasn’t helped my hero worship boner at all. Cully Hamner and Derec Donovan are on the art. You may remember Hamner from the latter half of the 06 Blue Beetle series, and The Question: Pipeline, as well as a few issues of the recent Shade series. Derec Donovan’s most notable DC storyline, to my knowledge, was Connor Hawke: Dragon’s Blood. Either way, they’re great artists working with an amazing writer. The National Comics initiative is going to feature one new character a month, and while this is the first we’ve seen of Eternity, I’m crossing my fingers that it isn’t going to be the last.

I’m going to admit this right off the bat: While I’m not crazy about Mick Rory’s costume change and new powers, I never actually cared enough about him in the first place to be extremely mad about it. Not that Heatwave is my least favorite Rogue, that honor goes to Girder, he’s just never been that high on my priority scale. To the issue! One thing that was never really addressed in Wally’s series, that I can remember, was where the criminal element hung out. Keystone City had its share of Rogues, but it also seemed like a generally clean place full of hard-working people. In this issue, however, we’re introduced to the rougher side of the city, ‘the Keys’, which is supposedly as bad a place to live as Crime Alley in Gotham. Well, at least we’re still keeping to the trend of having all of our criminals in one basket. Another thing that seems to be a holdover from the past, Len is terrible with women. I mean, wow. That pick up line? I love Captain Cold, and even I would have slapped him. A break in the story to check in on Patty, David, and Dr. Elias. Patty and David, you guys should be friends. I mean, you’re dealing with similar things. Patty believes the man she loves to be dead, and the man David loves has gone back to being a vigilante, against his wishes. Oh gosh, please don’t let them have broken up over this, that would be really tragic. Can I take a second to say that Marcus To should draw David forever? Because my god, even in the throes of anger and quiet heartbreak, that is one beautiful man. Dr. Elias, however, is turning into a bit of a scumbag. Invented a new energy source, huh? How about you tell the people where that sudden spark of brilliance came from? Were you quick to find it? Did it come to you in a flash? What I’m trying to say here is, stop being a douche and blaming things on the Flash, when it was his power that actually solved all your problems to begin with. You folks remember from last issue, how Barry decided that he was going to stay dead? Well, he’s going by Al now, and he’s the newest bartender at a villain hotspot called the Keystone Saloon, which looks like it’s the oldest bar in the damn country. Oh my. Marcus To, you also have my permission to draw Len forever, too. Pfft, oh lord. For those of you who haven’t been keeping up with terrible literature, there’s this new mom porn book that’s been going around called 50 Shades of Grey. Len likes alluding to shades of gray in the world of vigilantism and villainy, as seen here:

Image

And now, here:

Image

 

(Flash fact: I went to Tumblr hoping to find a scan of that panel in the Len Snart tag, and it was literally at the top of my Dashboard. The Rogues fandom is the best fandom.)

Anyway, shortly after Barry has the main bartender in charge fix Len a drink that won’t freeze up on him (complete with a pink umbrella, naturally), all hell breaks loose in the form of Mick. Heh. I like how Manapul took a page from the fans and had Barry call the fight between Len and Mick a ‘domestic dispute’. Because they’re like an old married couple, get it?! Sorry, I’ll take the bad jokes and puns and just…no, I’m not going to go anywhere. Puns are half of the reason why the Rogues are so dear to my heart. Hell, Mick started the issue off with a pun! Anyway, one fight scene full of vague exposition later, Barry has decided to keep his bartender gig, and our boys are being hauled away in a paddywagon. Argue argue, snipe snipe…Lisa?! Damn, girl! I’m going to be honest again, I’ve never been fond of Lisa’s old costume. This new one reminds me of a combination of Marvel costumes, truthfully; 80s Dazzler, Wind Dancer from the New Xmen, and Emma Frost, when she puts on clothes. An odd combination, but I do like it. And boy oh boy can the next issue not come soon enough! I’ve been dying to learn how Lisa got her new powers since images of her in her new costume were leaked.

Well, that was this week in comics! I’m thoroughly pleased with everything I’ve read, how about you? As always, I’d really love to hear your personal opinions about the books you picked up. Didn’t read something that was reviewed here? Tell me about it! I’m always looking for new books! As with every week, I am Touch of Grey. Hope to see you back here next Wednesday!

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Maybe I could call this Speedster Week?

June 28, 2012 · Filed under Uncategorized · Tagged , , , , , , ,

I don’t know what to say, other than that it’s the final week of the month. We’re getting a new issue of the Flash, but I also have to look at Teen Titans and Justice League, so this bag isn’t quite as awesome as it could have been. Let’s jump right in!

Batman Incorporated has done something odd, for the New 52. It has shown a woman, given her power, and allowed her to keep it. I am talking, of course, about Talia Al Ghul. The daughter of the Demon’s Head has been a character that most people I know have mixed feelings on. For one thing, her very role in the Batman mythos has been retconned and diminished to that of ‘Bruce’s psycho ex’ for so long, people tend to forget that there was a time before all of that. A time when the only thing standing between Talia and Bruce’s happy ending was Bruce’s lifelong mission to eradicate crime in Gotham. True story. So to see the entire history of their relationship, as well as Talia’s life story, spelled out over the course of a single issue…well, let me put it this way. While the rape retcon still stands, it’s been sort of…diminished? It was less of a “We had sex while you were drugged totally against your will” thing and more of a “We consummated our relationship that had been a long time coming after I drugged you so that you’d knock me up by accident.” thing. Not exactly good, but better than the idea that Talia had completely forced her sexual will on Bruce. So yeah! Talia issue! This was scads better than the first issue, especially since it revealed that Damian was not actually dead.

I’ve chosen to mostly opt out of reading the Before Watchmen mini-series’, mainly because I’m not the biggest fan of the source material. I’ve read it. I thought it was okay. But I’m not one of those people who would defend Watchmen to the death. It had plenty of glaring flaws, but that’s not what I’m here to talk about. Of all the characters in Watchmen, Nite Owl was probably one of my favorites. It didn’t hurt that the character himself was based off of the Blue Beetle, or that of all the players in this game, Dan Dreiberg seemed the most human. We learned a little about Dan within the book itself, but the Nite Owl mini is…different. It deals with the early days. The earliest days. So far, we’ve learned that not only did Dan take over for Hollis Mason, he was trained by him. We also get our first real look at Rorschach before his life completely went to hell, which was fun. Plus, a nice little bit of foreshadowing about just how much Dr. Manhattan is able to warp time and space. All in all, this wasn’t a bad first issue. I’d even go so far as to say that I liked it.

I only read New Guardians because I love Saint Walker. There, I said it. It would not hold my interest without him. That being said, I believe I’ll be dropping New Guardians after this month’s second fight scene issue in a row. Give me some exposition. Gimme some sweet, sweet backstory regarding the newer Blue Lanterns. Give me anything but…this.

Someone explain Justice League to me. Please. Please? I have no idea what happened this month. There was talking, random panels of a deathly ill man talking to ghosts, and then everyone fell down. There was also a bit of Hal being a douche and Barry being Barry. And then it ended and the second feature started. So…what happened? I have no idea. And you know what? I really don’t care. I don’t care about you, Justice League. I don’t care about you, Shazam second feature. You’ve not done anything to make me care about you, so I’m just not going to, and that’s that.

I rarely have positive things to say about Teen Titans, and this month isn’t really all that different. It’s about as disjointed as Justice League. Yet, this is supposed to be a cooldown issue, which makes the title completely misleading. I mean, why would you even put that on the cover? “In a race to extinction”, superimposed over an image of two teenagers smiling and having fun. What? Why? In case anyone was wondering, Bart/Kiran is officially a thing now. I’m going to set up a countdown clock until Miguel/Tim is canon, because geeze. If Solstice ends up being the Angst and the Love Interest combined, I’m going to cry. Gosh, I’m trying to think up constructive things to say and I just can’t. Sorry, Teen Titans. I’ve failed you.

I don’t think I’ve ever looked forward to, and dreaded, a comic as much as I have in regards to Flash #10. I probably haven’t talked much about my love of the Rogues on here, but oh gosh do I adore them. And Weather Wizard is my third favorite, after Mirror Master and Captain Cold. I’ve been making fun of Mark Mardon’s makeover since images of it were first released, but I don’t know. Now that the issue is actually in my hands, I’m a little excited. Len may have gotten a metagene and a new wardrobe, but Mark is getting a new name, a new history, a new everything! Well, here goes nothing!
…Marcus To, let me love you. If the Manapul/To team becomes a regular thing, I may weep with joy. Oh, but yes, the story. It’s honestly not as bad as it could have been. Yes, Mark Mardon is a, a Guatemalan drug lord now. That’s his history. But when the truth about his brother’s murderer came to light, and the Flash single-handedly destroyed his entire stock of product, that seemed to mark the end of his time as a supplier. He’s going back to Central City, along with…Lisa?! Lisa, girl, your hair is insane. She’s got NTT Starfire hair! In any case, I’ve spent so much time focusing on the Rogues in this issue, I forgot all about the actual title character. Barry loves Patty. Patty loves Barry. Patty believes Barry to be dead. He’s not actually going to correct her on that, which means that Barry is going to be the Flash all the time now. Or maybe…what if he’s going to take on a new identity? I swear, if this is how they ‘bring Wally into the New 52’, I’m going to be so upset. In any case, this Rogue parade is just getting started. Next month: Heatwave!

And that was this week in comics! Due to a personal matter, this is actually coming to you on Thursday so, sorry. But before I forget…

Floridians! Florida Supercon is this weekend! Come meet Carmine Infantino, Kevin Maguire, and a whole host of other comic and screen legends!

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There is a distinct lack of ladies this week…

May 23, 2012 · Filed under Uncategorized · Tagged , , , , , ,

It’s the last week of the…hold on, no it isn’t. There are five Wednesdays this month. Hmm. Well, regardless, I’ve got four books this week, including the newest series starring that lovable jackass Bruce Wayne, Batman Incorporated!

I love Saint Walker. He’s my favorite thing to come out of Geoff Johns’ Rainbow Lanterns, and despite the fact that my Lantern Corps is probably more revenge-driven than the one he belongs to, I’m all for the idea of Blue Lanterns. This issue of New Guardians is all about the Reach, Blue Beetle villains, invading and attempting to conquer Odym, home and sanctuary of the Blue Lantern Corps. Now, the idea behind this invasion is pretty lame. Why would beings who consider Lanterns to be their biggest threat attempt to gain control of a planet full of Lanterns? Oh well, I guess we needed a plot hole to get things moving. In any case, this issue was a great showcase for Saint Walker, clearly the most badass of the Hope Brigade. I think I prefer it when this book focuses on one Corps at a time. There’s more of a chance for character growth when there aren’t a shit-ton of characters all trying for the spotlight.

Sunnova bitch, Morrison! Am I not allowed to grow attached to characters? I mean, obviously this is a feint, else you’d have not shown the Dead Heroes Club literally pages before, but come on! This is ridiculous. Batman Inc looks like it’s in the same vein as Batman and Robin so far, except that this book happens to have more Batmen in it. On the roster so far are the Hood, Batwing, El Gaucho, and the Knight, though Squire seems to be missing. In fact, a lot of potential Bat-ladies are missing. Spoiler, Blackbat, Batwoman, Batgirl…the Bat Family is one hell of a boy’s club, this first issue around. I’m torn. On one hand, Chris Burnham’s Damian is the third best I’ve ever seen, but on the other hand, the story here is awful. It uses the same elements that turned me off Batman Inc and Batman and Robin in the first place. Besides, the first page of the first issue hints that the final page might not actually be a feint, and that a main character is dead already, or at least seriously injured, which begs a question. How well is this book going to tie into the rest of the Bat-books? Is it going to be in a world of its own, sort of? What are you attempting to do here, Morrison?

Teen Titans has officially replaced Suicide Squad as my why-the-hell-am-I-reading-this book. I mean, fucking hell. This dialogue, this pacing…I know I complain about it literally every time I review a book by Scott Lobdell, but I can’t help it! I have no idea how this man has a career in comics when he’s such a terrible writer. I know fanfiction writers who are better with pacing and dialogue than he is. Not to mention he’s clearly never heard of the phrase ‘show, don’t tell’. I mean, come on. I can’t even. Though I do have to let everyone breathe a sigh of relief; if you’ve been following The Culling, it’s over. You don’t have to read Legion Lost anymore. It’s all gonna be okay. I can’t find it within myself to write an actual review of this issue, just know that the last page sets up the next arc, and the little ‘until next time’ blurb reads “Next issue: The Mystery of Mystery Island!” What? No. Come on. You’re not this stupid, Lobdell. There are other words for mystery, come on.

So, before I say anything else, I feel the need to admit that while I was reading the Flash today, about 7 pages in, I shrieked and crawled underneath the table I was sitting at. Everything I’ve said regarding David Singh and Hartley Rathaway is coming true. I am the Flash Prophet. Moving on.
I’m glad we got an amnesia issue out of the way early, because that plot gets old really fast. The last time we saw anything regarding Gorilla City was in Flash: Rebirth (not counting that one-shot Flashpoint issue, Grodd of War), and it looks like Manapul decided to go more with a mystical element, rather than a scientific angle this time around. Okay, that works, sort of. And he’s sticking with the “Barry is the one true Flash” thing, too. Hmm. Though what really irked me about this issue was the subtle reveal of Weather Wizard, also known as Mark Mardon. He’s now known as Marco Mardon, and his brother was now known as Claudio rather than Clyde. In case you’ve not been following the news, Mark is a Colombian drug lord now. Yeah. Len has powers, Mark is a Colombian drug lord, Barry is the one true Flash…there are little elements of this series that, when I go back and look at them, seriously piss me off. But for the most part, I still really like the book. Patty Spivot and the rest of the CCPD are delights, the cameos by pre-existing characters are fun, the art is amazing, and oh my Grodd that dialogue. See, this is the difference between a good book and a bad book, to me. If your characters are talking about something unbelievable and I believe it, you’ve got a good book. I expect great things to come out of Flash.

Well, that was this week in comics…sort of. From what I understand, over in the Marvel Universe, Northstar is proposing to his boyfriend, and Deadpool is hot again. I don’t know, I’m not up on those particular books. Still! Next week looks like it’s going to be very, very small, what with only the Animal Man Annual and the first issue of Ravagers on my pull list, so I’ll have to think up something special to do afterwards. Hope to see y’all back next week. This is ToG signing off!

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No, I’m just going to say screw it and kvetch about the Teen Titans Annual

May 3, 2012 · Filed under Uncategorized · Tagged , , , , , ,

With month nine of the reboot upon us, DC has decided to replace the recently cancelled books (RIP Static Shock) with a new wave of titles. I’ll be briefly looking at two of them today. I’m…not getting my hopes up.

I’m going to talk about World’s Finest and Earth 2 together. After the negative things I said regarding Paul Levitz’s writing on the Huntress mini, why did I decide to pick up yet another Helena Wayne title he’s writing? Well, let’s look at who else is attached to this book. I loved Kevin Maguire’s work on Justice League back in the day and, more recently, his parts in My Greatest Adventure and Weird Worlds. George Perez…what can be said about George Perez? His art on New Teen Titans helped to revitalize the old concept of a team of sidekicks. He was half of the team that gave us Crisis on Infinite Earths. I hear his drawing hand is insured for $20,000. One time, he signed my copy of New Teen Titans #1 and said he liked my Flash shirt. It was awesome. George Perez is the man. And yet…look. The idea that Helena Wayne and Karen Starr from Earth-2 are trapped on Earth-1 is interesting…but why is it even being explored? The reboot was supposed to do what CoIE did decades ago, erase continuity as we know it, condense all the various Multiverse worlds into one central Earth, and make things simple for new readers. By reintroducing the concept of the Multiverse within the first year of the reboot, DC is shooting itself in the foot. I’m saying this because both World’s Finest and Earth-2 were, well, your mileage may vary.
World’s Finest kind of felt like a slap in the face. In it, we learned that Huntress had been Helena Bertinelli, and that Helena had been alive once…but Helena Wayne stole her identity after she died. No info on how she passed, no indication that she was in any way the Helena Bertinelli we’d been reading and watching for years. Just a line about her death, the burning of a passport, and she’s gone. I’m not easily distressed when it comes to comic books. As a hardcore Flash Rogues fan, I’ve come to live with the constant pain of a character being mistreated. But that was how Paul Levitz decided to write off one of my favorite female comic characters? Sorry. I can’t. I hadn’t been following Mister Terrific, so Karen’s entire existence within the reboot sort of slipped under my radar. Luckily, she seems to have retained her personality, to an extent. But that costume…I know people have had issues with the boob window in the past, but damnit. Her breast looks like it’s staring at you, with David Bowie makeup on. You’ve got Kevin Maguire and George Perez working on this title, DC, and this is the costume they come up with?! Stop drugging your water cooler.
Earth-2. Well. The first half of the book was…Parademons destroying the world. Killed off or boomed away most of the heroes. Noble self-sacrifices, cameos that foreshadow future hero appearances, okay. It wasn’t good, but it wasn’t terrible. Especially Batman’s scene, where he destroys the tower that’s keeping the Parademons in the air. But the second half? Well, Alan Scott comes off as a douchebag, and Jay Garrick comes off as a slacker. Let me backtrack a bit. This title is being written by James ‘Starman’ Robinson, and drawn by Nicola ‘Birds of Prey, Teen Titans, Secret Six I-am-an-art-goddess’ Scott. This is a fantastic team. [Please note, I am conveniently ignoring Robinson’s recent work with the Justice League (namely, Cry for Justice) for my own sanity.] So how, how, could he take two of the greatest heroes ever and make them…that?! I’m not even going to start on the trend of breaking up marriages in this verse. Lois Lane dead before the book even starts. Joan Garrick telling the man that, in another time, she’d been married to for over 50 years that he was ‘just a college boyfriend that I’ll explain away when my future husband asks who the guy in my old photos is’. What. What. No, stop. Go back. Erase. Rewrite. I’m going to sit over here, crossing my arms and judging you, James Robinson. The other book you’re writing right now is the best and most coherent you’ve been in years. Why couldn’t you just…stick with that goodness? I believe in you! Please, don’t ruin the JSA for me. Please. I’m begging you.

I sincerely have no idea what happened in this month’s Justice League International, mainly because I’ve never touched the Batwing, OMAC or Firestorm titles. I’m getting really tired of books crossing over randomly. The Bat-books I get. They’re all set in Gotham, all connected to Batman. Okay. No problem. But why the heck is a character from an unpopular, cancelled book like OMAC joining the JLI, even temporarily? I’m calling editorial mandate and, while I’m at it, dropping Justice League International down to in-store only status. Sorry, JLI, but you’re a bit more trouble than you’re worth.

If the first page of this month’s Animal Man didn’t make you laugh, get out. Well, that’s unfair. If you’re familiar with Grant Morrison’s run on Animal Man, and the first page of this month’s Animal Man didn’t make you laugh, then get out. Because really, if you’re not laughing at that little bit of continuity-sneaking, there’s nothing I can do to help your dead sense of humor. My hat goes off to Jeff Lemire for sneaking that old universe reference in, and also raising my hopes that we might see Buddy get to go against Mirror Master again. I’ll be raising my metaphorical hat again to Steve Pugh, who took over for Travel Foreman this issue. Either he’s a great mimic, or their styles are near-identical. Whatever the case, Pugh’s rendering of the Rot is pants-shittingly terrifying, way to go you. As for the actual progression of the story, Ellen Baker, what are you doing. I know you’re trying to be a good mom, but your daughter is the avatar of life itself. Just last issue, you watched her leave her body, jump into a fox, and turn the fox’s body into a new body in order to avoid death. The kid is destined for the capes and spandex life, but right now, she sort of needs to save the world. So why aren’t you letting her do it? Oh, for the love of…remember what I said, not even a paragraph ago, about comic crossovers becoming ridiculous? I already know I’m going to have to read Swamp Thing at some point, because that’s where this little Eldritch horror road trip is heading, but I only just dropped Justice League Dark! Don’t do this to me! I can’t handle magic books, they’re too illogical! But then again, John Constantine is a character that originated from Alan Moore’s Swamp Thing series back in the day. So maybe, just maybe, his appearance has less to do with magic, and more to do with the face that he feels like paying the big green guy a surprise visit?

I usually save the best for last, but…look. I’m not looking forward to reading the Teen Titans Annual any more than I usually look forward to reading anything else Scott Lobdell pisses out. So I saved it for last not because I think it could possibly be good, but because I’m expecting it to be bad. I’m expecting it to be mind-numbingly terrible, and I want to sit down in a well-lit area with a nice glass of vodka and go through it.
Don’t you judge me, this is how I cope.
Okay, let’s take inventory, here. We already know that the Legion Lost crew is going to be here, as are the Teen Titans, and the kids that have been solicited as being part of the new Ravagers team. So. Let’s get down to brass tacks and oh are you fucking kidding me. For those of you not in the know, DC’s most popular show, now that Brave and the Bold is gone, is this little epic called Young Justice. As of last Saturday, the second season began. One of the main characters from season one was not in the first episode. And now we know what happened to her. Damnit, Lobdell! It took Renee Montoya, Livewire, and Harley Quinn years to cross over from screen to print in the main DCU. To be fair, a version of Artemis Crock already existed in the old DCU, as the villainess Tigress, wife/babymama to the villain Icicle. But as this is the DCnU, and those characters were more closely affiliated with the team Infinity Inc, which no longer exists (as it was made up of the children of various JSA members, and the JSA hasn’t even formed on Earth-2 yet), of course he’d write in the newer, better known version. Or maybe he just never even knew about the other Artemis, whatever. This is Lobdell we’re talking about, here. I don’t want to give him too much credit. Jumping into the story. As usual, the dialogue sounds like it was written by a fourteen year old (who still uses noob?). And to be completely honest, the idea that no one there tried to talk it out before jumping into battle is ridiculous. Well, that’s not true. Tim tried to be the voice of reason, at first, but then whoops! Reboot Lightning decided to attack. Ugh. The fact that it was Superboy and Tyroc that came the closest to making the communication breakthrough instead of, say, the main peacemakers from both teams (Tellus and Kiran), is kind of ridiculous. Oh. Hold on. Here come more combatants! And…is it going to happen?! The book is hopping on its motorcycle, wheeling around towards the tank and…yes! Teen Titans Annual has jumped the shark! Ladies and gentlemen, nine issues and an annual, and the Teen Titans have their first casualty, Artemis! Wow. That…didn’t last long at all. Also, if I may, I’d like to officially guess that Harvest is actually the Time Trapper in disguise. He seems to be from the future, he wears a tattered cloak, and he hates teenaged metahumans. My other guess is that he’s a dimensionally displaced Mumm-Ra, because damn is that resemblance uncanny.

I’ve spent entirely too much time bitching about Teen Titans today. So much for a generally positive review, eh? Hope to see you back next week. If not, shh, it’s okay. I understand. I wouldn’t want to put up with me, either.

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Alternate reality, universe ships, Speed Forces…must be Wednesday.

April 25, 2012 · Filed under Uncategorized · Tagged , , , , ,

Hm, only three titles this week. Well, you know what that means! After you read this post, send an ask to my Tumblr at http://www.touchofgrey37.tumblr.com/ask to vote for one of the topics I’ll put at the end of this entry and tomorrow, you’ll get another post! For now, let’s get started.

Why. That’s all I have to say, concerning New Guardians. Why. Why is this supposed to be a title that is supposed to sync up to other titles, when it barely qualifies to do that? Why would the Weaponer ditch his ring on Korugar…only to immediately forge a new one? Why is Arkillo shown to be so blindly devoted to Sinestro, only to put his own name in his new oath? Why is Kyle able to tell an extension of Larfleeze’s ring to not tell Larfleeze that he’s got a pretty good chance of dying via rainbow corps? I can’t even with this book, honestly.

This week in Teen Titans, Tim becomes the Swan Queen! Okay, Lobdell. Obviously you know how to internet. Way to go, including a fandom joke, I’ll give you credit for that. But the rest of this issue…I can’t. For those of you with short memories, Lilith was a Teen Titan in the 70s, briefly, who rejoined the New Teen Titans in the 80s and 90s, and was then killed by the rogue android Indigo in the mini-series Graduation Day, though her death was overshadowed by that of Donna Troy. Lilith, aka Omen, was an empath with telepathic powers. Omen here, however, seems to have the same powers as a villain called Phobia, as well as the reality-altering powers of the Scarlet Witch. So, grossly overpowered, retooled hero turned villain? Check. Completely incomprehensible plot? Check. Ridiculous costume redesign? Check. Well, I guess I can honestly say that this comic has it all.

Well, it was bound to happen eventually. Before I say anything else…really, Francis? Really? A spinning villain named Roscoe? We already had one of those. He was even a metahuman! His name was Roscoe Dillon, and he was the Top. Granted, he was a fairly lame villain, for his time, or at least the time in which he was alive first. Oh, did I forget to mention that this Roscoe’s other ability was the power to never ever go away? Seriously. He’d die, then just show up again in someone else’s body. He even showed up as Barry Allen’s dad once, and teamed up with his girlfriend Golden Glider to fuck with everything the Flash held dear. That was actually a pretty cool story, though as with the rest of the Flash’s history, it was completely negated as of Flash: Rebirth.
But enough about the negative Rogue things. There is one Rogue that the fandom has been clamoring for since, well, since long before Geoff Johns took up the Barry Allen Flash title. He was a big part of Countdown to Final Crisis, but all but vanished from the DCU afterwards. That’s right, kiddies, Hartley Rathaway is back! He’s blonde this time around and, well, all points indicate that he’s definitely the ‘special friend’ of crime lab director David Singh. I’m going to be perfectly honest, I really prefer the little looks into the lives of the side-characters, rather than the main plot of this issue. But hey, I’m a sucker for a good minor character.
The main plot, by the way, deals with Barry looking for the other people, and the ship, that was sucked into the Speed Force. On the way, he encounters a member of the Air Force from WW2, one of the Tuskegee Airmen to be precise, and is waylaid. In Roscoe Hynes’ defense, he’s not a villain. He’s a desperate man that’s been trying to get home for 70 years. He’s been stuck in a place where all of time is rendered useless. That’ll get to a guy after awhile. Though, a plot hole seems to be forming. Turbine knew who Barry was, because the Speed Force showed his him the Flash’s history. So, doesn’t that mean that Iris and the other people on the ship will also know who the Flash is? Francis my friend, you’ve not thought this out very well. Still, naming woes aside, I really did enjoy this issue of the Flash. It’s why I saved it for last after all, always good to end a dismal week on a high note!

And that was this week in comics! Hm, I think I’m forgetting something…oh, right! Starting now (and going until 8 pm on April 26th), my ask box is open to registered and anonymous Tumblr users. Please vote for one of these topics. The topic that receives the most votes by tomorrow at 8 will be written about.

Development Hell, or why we’re never going to get that Judas Contract animated movie
Speedster Twins, what’s up with this trend?
Why the hell do people still live in Gotham City?
Why a Young Avengers/OYL Teen Titans crossover would have been awesome
Or, suggest something!

I hope to see you back here tomorrow, goodnight!

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