Posts tagged Birds of Prey

Who has two thumbs and didn’t flip a table in rage this week?!

October 19, 2011 · Filed under Uncategorized · Tagged , , , , , , , ,

Ow, my aching wallet. How did I end up with nine books this week?! DC, you’re a tricky, tricky company. Anyway, we have our third round of #2’s today, plus a crossover between DC and IDW. Star Trek meets the Legion!

Not a lot of people are aware of this, but I’m a pretty big Star Trek fan. Next Gen, specifically. My dad and I used to watch all the Star Trek shows together when I was a kid. Heck, he was the one who got me into science fiction in the first place. Though I will admit, I never really got into the Star Trek comics. Still, Spock meeting Brainiac 5 had better be awesome, or I’m flipping a table. Huh. I think the story here is that they switched universes, but only the crew of the Enterprise and select members of the Legion. Well. Okay then.

In almost complete opposition to Legion Lost, Legion of Superheroes is turning into a damn good read. On one side of the story, Brainy, Glorinth, Professor Li, and Dream Girl are trying to see if they can reach the 21st century via time bubble, though that era is seemingly blocked by the events of Flashpoint. On the other side of the story, Daxamites gone wild. The art is fantastic, too, which is always a good sell for me. I feel like it’s a bit too soon to say that this is going to be one of my regularly bought issues, but I’ll wait and see.

Birds of Prey is now an official pass for me. There will be no review. Sorry. It’s just not worth it.

There’s a lot about Catwoman that I can’t stand. The opening pages have all been awful so far, and the art is horrific. But there’s a solid story in there, underneath all the terrible, so I can’t help but respect that Judd Winick is trying. He’s failing, but damnit, he’s trying.

After the shaky start Red Hood and the Outlaws had, I was pleasantly surprised by the second issue. It was funny, it had a good amount of action, and as always, it’s got amazing art. The story behind the…ancient ninja clan that Jason was trained by finally sees the light, and of course Talia was the one behind their introduction. Good to see that Death in the Family and Under the Hood are still canon storylines, by the way. Roy and Kory don’t feature a lot this issue, but when they do, I sort of find Roy to be incredibly irritating. Kory is much better this issue, both in term of natural-looking movements, and in terms of clothes. Seriously, that outfit when she met Jason and Roy at the airport? Kory was channeling a businesswoman from the 80’s. Outstanding. I’m going to keep buying this book for now, it seems to be getting better.

Nightwing is consistently fantastic. Two issues, both great. I’m smiling so hard, I can’t even tell you. This month’s issue picks up right where the last one left off, with Dick fighting the masked assassin. But that’s not what has me hooked. After losing his opponent in order to save a carload of people, Dick returns home, only to be ‘awoken’ by Raya, his old friend from Haly’s Circus, who needs him to take her to Atlantic City as quickly as possible. Why? Mr. Haly, the owner of the circus, is dying, and he plans to leave the circus to Dick. Why? Why not. Guilt, maybe. The knowledge that if his parents had never died, Dick would have never become Nightwing (yes, the old man had figured it out). Either way, it basically kicks off the plot of the next few issues. There’s a secret at the heart of Haly’s Circus, and it’s Dick’s secret now.

Anyone who knows me knows that I’m a fan of Supergirl. I’ve always liked the character, loved how she was treated less like Superman’s side kick and more like his equal. And I think Michael Green feels the same way. It’s pretty obvious, after she stops punching him through things, that Clark wants to talk to Kara as a fellow Kryptonian, as well as a family member. He wants to explain, not talk down to her. And their conversation is executed beautifully. This may not be my favorite female-lead book, but it’s definitely in my top 5 favorite series’ of the new 52.

The second issue of Green Lantern Corps is a frackton of exposition and action sequences, and people yelling. I don’t really know what else to say about it. I read it, but nothing really jumped out at me and stuck to my consciousness. It’s like the book exists to exist, and that’s all. Hm. Not pleased about that.

I know a lot of people have had problems with the Blue Beetle book, but truthfully? I like it. Then again, don’t trust my judgement, I also like Ace of Bass and the remake of The Haunting non-ironically. This is the first issue we get to see the rebooted Scarab in action. Like before, Jaime is learning as he goes along, though it’s good to see that he still opts for non-lethal attacks and worries about Paco’s safety above all else. The art is…questionable at times,”Translated from Spanglish” moments, so that’s good. This is a solid second issue and while the solicits for later issues have worked me into a bit of a rage frenzy, I’m just going to enjoy this book for now.

That was this week in comics. Right now, it’s raining, and I can’t quite figure out how I’m going to get home. Also, I’m very hungry. So with those distractions on my mind, I leave you.

Attention South Florida comic fans! Tate’s Comics is having their annual Halloween sale this weekend! Comics 5-for-a-dollar under the tent, or fill up a longbox for $35! Even more savings in-store, visit their website or Facebook page for full details.

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An overview of the 26 titles in the new 52 I’ve read: I promise it’s not as dull as the title would suggest.

October 5, 2011 · Filed under Uncategorized · Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

I know, I’m a day late and a dollar short on this, but I had a lot going on over the weekend, so bear with me.

Tomorrow begins the second month of the DC reboot. Over the course of September, I personally read 26 of the 52 new titles and, for the most part, enjoyed them. The point of this particular post is to outline the books I liked and will be buying, the books I will continue to read to torture myself, and the books I will be avoiding. One, two, ready, go!

The Good: The books I will be buying, until quality ceases.

The Flash: I liked the first issue. I was so ready to hate it, too. It was a Barry book, Wally didn’t exist, Bart probably wasn’t going to be in it, and Iris wasn’t the main female. But you know what? It held its own. It’s a Barry book that we haven’t seen before; focusing more on his life as police scientist Barry Allen rather than his superpowered alter-ego, the Flash. The art didn’t hurt, either. If he’s able to pull this book off, Francis Manapul will officially be my favorite professional writer/artist, next to Ross Campbell.

Justice League International: This was another title I wasn’t expecting to like. I mean, my favorite character quit the team in the preview pages, not to mention that blatant dig at fans who had been bitching about the new 52 both online and at conventions. But…it has Guy and Ice being friendly again. Gavril is still ridiculously adorable. Also, August General in Iron. He’s there. DC remembers that he exists. This is basically one of those books I’m going to be getting for character interaction rather than content. Yes, the first arc is going to be about fighting giant monsters, but I’d rather just see Gavril and August General argue some more.

Green Lantern: It’s a Sinestro book, and Hal Jordan is miserable and living a terrible life without his ring. As vindictive as this sounds, this is everything I’ve ever wanted in a Green Lantern book. Oh, and the end of the first issue looks suspiciously like the beginning of a really hardcore slashfic. That’s enough of a reason to keep reading.

Green Lantern Corps: It’s a Guy and John book that isn’t set in the DCnU. That is reason enough for me to buy it.

Green Lantern: New Guardians: Pros: Multi-Lantern book. Written by Tony Bedard. Pretty, pretty art. Cons: Seems to be a ‘wonder of Kyle’ book. Might be set in the DCnU. I’m split on this book, but the first issue was more of a set up than anything. Once we get some plot going in issue 2, then I’ll make my decision.

Red Lanterns: Great writing, terrible art. Seriously, how do neither Ed Benes nor Rob Hunter know how to draw a cat? But moving away from the bad, I’ve always had a fondness for the Red Lantern Corps. I’m looking forward to getting to know the rest of the Corps members’ stories as time goes on.

Batwoman: This title could only improve if Greg Rucka was also working on it. Batwoman is amazing and beautiful and not set in the DCnU, plus Maggie Sawyer. I have no words to describe this book to you all other than a resounding yes.

Nightwing: I love Dick Grayson. I love time travel plots. Therefor, the first arc of the new Nightwing series appeals to me greatly, personally. Also is not apparently set in the DCnU, which is nice.

Animal Man: There is nothing about this book that I don’t love. The writing, the art, the twist ending of the first issue that sets up the rest of the arc. This is the surprise hit for me. Batwoman, I expected to like. Animal Man, I never expected to love.

Justice League Dark: Man, talk about an unexpected hit. I don’t really like magic books (Zatanna being an obvious exception), but this one spoke to me. Maybe it was because a character that had died in Flashpoint was once again alive and it gave me hope, maybe it was all the Vertigo characters showing up in one book had me convinced that the mysterious woman in red was actually an entity like the Endless, who knows. But I liked it, and I can’t wait to read more.

Resurrection Man: Unlike Animal Man, whom I’ve fairly familiar with, Resurrection Man is new for me. All I know about him is that he can’t die permanently, and every time he’s killed, he comes back to life with a new power. It’s a cool, slightly depressing concept, and I like it. Who knows, maybe the new series will make me want to seek out backissues of the old, to see how they differ.

Static Shock: No contest, this is hands-down my favorite ‘teen’ book in the new 52. I loved the Milestone series, and Rebirth of the Cool is never dusty on my shelf (when I’m not lending it out to people). Scott McDaniel nails Virgil’s personality head-on. And he really, really makes me want to know why the hell there are two Sharons.

Deathstroke: He is the badass’s badass, and I believe I am quoting an actual line from the first issue. I haven’t got all the issues of the first Deathstroke series anymore due to some crappy relationship managing skills (never let a guy claim your books, you will lose them and be sad), but I’m looking forward to seeing what the supporting cast in this series is going to be like. Seriously, that was pretty much my favorite part of his last series, so we need to get some badass women in this title stat.

Blue Beetle: No offense to Tony Bedard, but Jaime’s second series is nowhere near as good as his first, so far. So far. I have hope, however, that the ‘defective evil alien device’ angle he’s going for plays out well. That being said, the art is nice, and this book immediately gets merits for seemingly keeping 90% of the original cast. Now if only we could somehow work in the ‘yes, he is actually a legacy character’ angle somewhere…

Superboy: Put the tomatoes away. I like this book for a lot of the reasons I see people hating on it; no, the main character isn’t Kon-El or Conner Kent. His name is Superboy. He hasn’t got another name yet. He hasn’t really got any memories yet. Unlike Kon, who was cloned to believe he was Superman and Conner, who was cloned to replace Superman, Superboy doesn’t really have any connection to Big Blue yet, other than bearing his DNA. Like it or not, this is a brand new character with an old name. He has a lot to live up to, let’s see if he can manage. Just, give the poor kid a chance first.

Supergirl: I’m conflicted. From the way the series is described in interviews, I feel like I should hate it. But then I read the first issue and, Kara is just a scared teenager on a strange world, trying to figure out what’s going on. Maybe my feelings will change as the issues go on, but for right now, I like this book.

The Bad: The books I will be reading in-store and verbally ripping apart for your pleasure.

Birds of Prey: I want to know why the guy exploded, that’s all.

Red Hood and the Outlaws: I just want to see how bad this gets, honestly.

Batgirl: Babsgirl gets one more shot to not suck, then she’s gone.

Hawk and Dove: I’m in it for the hilariously bad art and cliched soap opera substory okay.

Batman and Robin: If Bruce doesn’t get his shit together, I will just drop this title and be done with it.

Legion of Superheroes: Paul Levitz is basically just continuing from where he left off, here. Okay, whatever. Wasn’t too fond of the Legion book pre-reboot, either, so, I can roll with it.

Teen Titans: I’m sort of obligated to keep reading this because it’s a Teen Titans book. Who knows, it could get better.

Suicide Squad: I promised a friend of mine that I would read the first arc for him. I am sincerely regretting that promise.

The Ugly: Fuck you, you can’t have my time or my money.

Catwoman: Bad writing, bad art. Off my pull list, you.

Legion Lost: This was dreck. I literally can’t even. Paul Levitz should not we writing both Legion titles.

Justice League: Pretty art, terrible, terrible writing. The worst intro to the new 52 possible.

And well, that’s about all I have to say about that. I didn’t pick up any of the more anticipated titles, like Action Comics, Superman, Detective Comics, Batman, any other title exclusively starring Bruce Wayne, Batwing, Mister Terrific, or Firestorm. I’m not all that fond of the characters and, despite Firestorm being written by Gail Simone, I refuse to throw money at series’ starring characters I never really liked all that much. Or, as was the case with Batwing, I couldn’t get into the art. Despite what I may lead you to believe, I’m actually very visually distracted by art I don’t like. It’s the main reason I’ve never read Justice or, well, anything else drawn by Alex Ross.

Anyway, these are my opinions on things. Feel free to ignore the ones that you don’t agree with, or leave a comment about how I should so give Catwoman a second chance. Or, hey, recommend a book I didn’t look at! Let’s get some interaction going, ladies and gents. I’m Touch of Grey, and according to my Tumblr feed, I have fifteen new messages. Later days.

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Waiter! There’s a Marvel in my DC!

September 22, 2011 · Filed under Uncategorized · Tagged , , , , , , , , , ,

Nine books this week! To be honest, I’d assumed it was only eight, but that was because I’d only checked the DC website. However, I was thrown a happy curveball when I got to the comic shop and, lo and behold! Children’s Crusade! Now before I start anything else, let me just say that the books out this week have a 60% chance of making me rage. That’s a pretty high chance of rage, you guys. Let’s hope I do not need my red ring.

Wow. Birds of Prey was really, really…bad. The art was pretty, but just like with Justice League, pretty art doth not a good book make. The story is weak as well; Black Canary is wanted for murder, so she and her friend are putting together a team…for some reason. Seriously, what’s the motivation behind that? This is the worst start to a series, honestly.

Man, we go from worst to best in the blink of an eye! Nightwing was awesome. It doesn’t seem to tie into the new DCU, because it distinctly references Bruce Wayne’s death and Dick being Batman. Since leaving the mantle of the Bat behind, Dick has once again taken up his old Nightwing identity, and moved into his own apartment. I do hope that Tim and Damian guest star in future issues, just because they have such great chemistry as characters and brothers. But meanwhile, in this first issue…uh oh, I sense a time traveler plot. Nameless villain of the first arc says that Dick Grayson is a murderer, but that he isn’t aware of it. Yeah, that kinda screams time travel. Ah well, the rest of the issue was good.

And right back to rage. What the fuck was up with Catwoman? This book was utter shit! The art was next to terrible, the writing was, well, it was Judd Winick. That’s really all I need to say. In this book, Selina Kyle is portrayed as a nymphomanic with a severe clothes allergy. Who happens to steal things. No, I’m not joking. I can’t even talk about this series any more. It’s just…terrible.

I have mixed feelings regarding Red Hood and the Outlaws. On one hand, it’s the orgy book. Kori has slept with both Jason and Roy. It’s also funny, with the opening 8 pages making me laugh out loud several times in a row. The art is also gorgeous, so that’s a big positive factor for me. But on the other hand, Kori’s personality has done a complete 180, the latter half of the book where the plot comes in is totally confusing, and while it references that Jason used to work for Batman, it also hints that he had a whole other life with something called the ‘All Caste’. This is definitely a book I’m going to keep reading, if only because I want to know what the heck is going on.

I’m not sure how to feel about Legion of Superheroes. While Legion Lost has a definite DCnU feel to it, LoSH feels like business as usual. And business…isn’t all that great. I don’t know what it is about Paul Levitz’s Legion, but I just don’t like it all that much. I don’t have any complaints about this book, but I don’t really have anything to praise it for, either. It just exists.

You know what? I like Peter J. Tomasi. He writes a good space book. I’m happy to see him back on Green Lantern Corps, which looks like it’s going to be a Guy and John book now. This series is one that definitely doesn’t tie into the DCnU, as it references Hal not being a Green Lantern anymore, and I’m sort of glad about that. The first story arc seems to be a lot like business as usual; someone out there is killing Green Lanterns, Guy and John round up a posse to track down the killer, yatata yatata. Still, it has good character interaction, and the art is alright. This book gets a pass, and it’s definitely one of the ones I’m keeping.

Supergirl feels like it’s going to be one of those ‘fish out of water’ books. She’s just woken up on Earth, with no memory of Krypton’s final hours, and she’s going nuts with her new powers setting in. She even thinks to herself that what’s happening has to be a dream. It’s pretty obvious that this isn’t the Kara Zor-El that we know and love, but that’s okay. This is a time of rebirth and renewal and, just like with Superboy, I’m willing to give this a chance.

Children’s Crusade is one of those books that I’m willing to wait for, it’s that good. Last time, Wanda not only got her memory back, but her reality-altering powers. With them, she restored Rictor’s mutant abilities, and this issue, she’s offering to do so to anyone who wants them. Only one problem, though. Scott Summers is being an impossible douche. Seriously, Scott. When someone offers to just go with you, and that someone has reality-altering powers that could erase you from existence and only wants to use them for good before you lock her away, you let her do whatever the fuck she wants. Did Scott do this? Nope. Instead, he fired on Magneto, which caused all hell to break loose and a big fight scene to happen. Wanda, for her part, decides to gather up her kids and their friends, the only people not trying to get her to go anywhere, and take them to Latveria. And then exposition and flashbacks happen, revealing how Doom was the one to give Wanda the Life Force power which is the root of her reality-altering powers. But then this happens: When joining together in a magic triangle to give all the mutants back their powers, Wanda accidentally transfers the power of the Life Force to Doom, whose first use of it is…to make himself hot again. Way to really stretch the imagination there, Doom. I want to see how this turns out, so hopefully, the next issue isn’t more than two months away.

I was really, really worried about Blue Beetle. According to interviews, Jaime is going to have to hide his activities as the Blue Beetle from his family, while his openness with his friends and family was one of the things I loved about his old series. But…you know what? This first issue isn’t bad. It has Paco and Brenda being Paco and Brenda, Brenda’s aunt is still La Dama, and Jaime’s parents still seem to have the same personalities. On the not so great side, however, Jaime’s personality is a bit more angsty-teenagerish, the Scarab is immediately revealed to be alien technology, and then there’s the little fact that Dan Garrett and Ted Kord do not seem to exist. The Scarab is said to have passed through many hands, but so far, neither former Blue Beetle looks like he was on that particular list of names. I’m not going to panic yet though. With the ending of the first issue the way it was, who knows how the next is going to play out?

And on that disgustingly undecided note, I’m going to bid you all adieu. For you see, I also picked up my copy of New Teen Titans: Games this week, and I plan to rub it all over my body before I read. You know, get my scent on it so that it’s publisher won’t take it back. See you all next week.

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I’m happy with this week’s haul. This worries me.

July 13, 2011 · Filed under Uncategorized · Tagged , , , , , , , ,

It’s that time again! Sorry to sound like an awful children’s program, but I’m a little excited about this weeks lineup. Hopefully, some of my excitement is rubbing off on you, and you decide to read onward.

As always, Flashpoint minis and tie-ins will be reviewed in one block.

I’m not sure how much I enjoy Emperor Aquaman. I mean, it’s an Aquaman book, that should speak for itself. I just don’t care for the guy. But lately, it’s like the universe has been trying to force me to like him. Killing off Garth, elevating Mera to new levels of kickass…it’s honestly getting hard to be able to say, “Fuck everyone that lives below the ocean, land is where the cool people live.” And don’t get me wrong, there are definitely some things about this title that make me rage (Tara Markov and Helena Bertinelli are both Female Furies that serve Wonder Woman?! England is essentially a male concentration camp?!), but it’s just, it’s not bad. I feel so conflicted.
It seems to be ‘everyone try and take over the Ravager’ day in the Deathstroke book. Not a great issue, truth be told. There was a big deal made over Slade getting his crew mostly killed, but no big reason as to why we should care. Good first issue, not so good second, the third better be awesome.
I like the Citizen Cold book quite a bit. Lots of cameos from Flash history. For instance, anyone else remember Chunk, the scientist with the black hole in his body? How about Fallout, who powered Iron Heights for a time during the reign of Warden Wolfe? The one thing that really irked me about this issue, and this is a spoiler, is that apparently, yeah, Wally West is dead in this universe. If Flashpoint is supposed to be a gateway to the new 52 come September, does that mean that he’s going to cease to exist? Anyone who knows me knows that I’m not the biggest fan of Wally West but let’s face it, he was always the more compelling Flash.
Fuck the United States government in this world. Fuck it extremely hard in the ear until its collective brain turns to oatmeal. That’s all I have to say about this issue of Booster Gold. I just, I can’t even right now. I can’t.
We now return you to your scheduled programming.

Oh wow. Oh wow. It’s like my eyes and brain had sex with this comic, because holy god. Long, spoiler-filled story short, Hal Jordan isn’t a Green Lantern anymore. Sinestro is. And I, I think I’m going to cry because oh my god were the circumstances just amazing and-
Okay, Geoff. You win. I’ll read a monthly Sinestro book, no problem. You win.
Meanwhile, in Green Lantern Corps…John Stewart killed Mogo. This is the second planet he’s destroyed. Are we focusing on this? Nope, he and a rookie are going to go on a mission to stop war on the planet, get this, Vorrin-Tog. Yup, I’ve got my own planet. Anyway, I like this issue. Green Lantern Corps is supposed to be about Lanterns other than the ones from Sector 2814, and this Qurina character seems interesting. I hope they keep her around.

Batgirl is a consistently good title. Pretty much every issue is worth the cover price, if not more. But what do you get when you have one Batgirl versus five people in super suits? The beginning of an epic team-up. Stargirl, Miss Martian, Bombshell, and Supergirl guest star as what I’ve dubbed ‘team kickassia’. But what I didn’t see coming, for once, was the last page. Someone hired the Reapers to off a guy. The guy? Daddy Brown, of course! As someone who always wanted to see Cluemaster pulled apart by trains, I’m actually pleased by this ending, and where it could go from here.

Red Robin was the second book this week to make me close the book with a resounding ‘What?!’. Okay, so, Cass is still a good guy, Tim wears pints of his own blood on his back, there’s a kid that can fight better, and faster, than Cass, Tam was in love with Tim’s masked identity, and Tim killed Captain Boomerang? That’s one run-on sentence full of WHAT.

I love legacy heroes, and flashback issues. Guess what Birds of Prey is doing this month? It’s time for a trip back to post-War times with Lady Blackhawk and the original Phantom Lady, Sandra Knight, featuring a cameo by the first Dinah Lance. And of course, it’s an arc featuring Nazis. Nazis, to comics, are like the ultimate Earthbound evil, am I right? Anyway, it’s a great issue, though it’s not penned by Gail Simone, but with a cover, and interior art, by Billy Tucci, I don’t care. Can this be the new artist for BoP? Please?

I know I’ve said this before, but I adore Solstice. She’s a nice, normal girl…who happens to have superpowers. She’s a good balance to those angst-buckets who call themselves Teen Titans. Once again, Raven is being a mope. Seriously, what is with this chick? Always spoiling a good time. [Please take note: I’m taking the mick out of Raven because I can; I don’t actually bear any ill will towards the character.] And look, Tim is showing humility! Is it Christmas already?! All joking aside, this was a fantastic issue. I’m looking forward to the relationships that will be established between Solstice and the rest of the Teen Titans…until September, when she’ll be wiped out of existence.

That was this week in comics! I’ve got a bit of a ride ahead of me, so I’ve got to get going now. But I’ll be here again next week, same time, same place. Ta!

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My bunk, I will be in it until further notice

June 9, 2011 · Filed under Uncategorized · Tagged , , , , , , , , ,

Flashpoint oh Flashpoint, my heart will sing with glee once you are over. Mainly because I have three titles this week that frankly, I don’t want to read. But I’m going to do it. I’m doing it for all of you. Remember me as a saint and a martyr. Or, if nothing else, remember me as a mildly entertaining babe that fell over dead while reading Emperor Aquaman.

Speaking of which…no. No, I’m not starting my day with that. C’mere, Citizen Cold. So to start, it seems Len Snart may not be under the goggles, and Wally works as a driver for his aunt Iris. Who, you may remember, is not actually married to Barry here. Which leaves Len (not Len?) to hit on her. Pfff oh my god Axel Walker. This kid manages to amuse me every time I see him. He’s apparently the ‘annoying’ villain in Iron Heights. Speaking of the other Rogues, Cold seems to be pretty merciless with them, well, at least to a point. He hasn’t actually killed any of them, not even Mirror Master who everyone thinks is dead, not like he does other people who oppose him. Ooh, now that I like. Citizen Cold really is Len Snart, which we find out when we see him watch his sister get arrested on the news after murdering their father. But a redhead in green is watching him. Could it be…Piper? Well, technically. I’m going to come right out and say that this is a fantastic book so far. Scott Kolins was a great choice to be working on a Cold book, and I’m glad to see him back in the game.
Moving right along to, oh god, Deathstroke and the Curse of the Ravager. Surprisingly, not terrible. The general gist is that Slade is searching the world for his missing daughter, Rose, and killing and plundering any ship that gets in his way. Simple enough, and not worthy of my ire. You may pass unharmed, first issue.
I’ve got no real interest in Frankenstein and the Creatures of the Unknown, so I’ll just be passing it by.
Now on to the real stinker. I’m going to be honest, I don’t give a flying fuck about Aquaman. Never have. He’s just not interesting to me. But this book is being written by Tony Bedard, so I’m sort of required to at least give it a look-see. It actually wasn’t that bad. Basic story of political intrigue followed by betrayal, the death of a lover, yadda yadda yadda. Not bad, actually pretty good, but nothing that I haven’t seen before. I mean, Mera’s death was already spoiled by the variant cover to last week’s issue of the main Flashpoint book, so there’s that. I’ll glance through this book when it comes out, but I’m not planning on buying it.

So I read the two Green Lantern movie prequel comics that came out today. I was pleased to see that apparently, Lantern Iolande and Lantern Kol are going to be in the movie along with some of the better-known Lanterns, according to the Kilowog one-shot. The Tomar-Re one-shot was kind of depressing, though.

Continuing with the Flashpoint tie-ins, Booster Gold! And frankly, it kind of stinks. Booster is on the trail of Zoom, and he’s not doing a great job of it. I’ll be happy when, if, Booster Gold gets back to normal.

Stay classy, Red Robin! Swear to god, I like that book less and less as time goes by. So we go from an assassin tourney in Cairo to Tim about to be raped in Russia over the course of a single issue. That Tim Drake, he loves the ladies soooo much. Please note my sarcasm. What’s next?

I may not be happy about Gail Simone being the writer on the new Batgirl series starring Babs, but damn am I pleased with this issue of Birds of Prey. I love it when Secret Six characters interact with the Birds, and Babs using Catman’s affection for Huntress for information was just inspired. Junior will be back, and I’m on the edge of my seat with anticipation.

Damian, what are you doing? That cover is ridiculous. Dami is all, “Nom! I am eating your wrist, brother!” Precious little kitten. In other news, I’m fainting with joy. Literally slumped over in my chair smiling. I can’t even convey just how much I liked this issue. The art…no. But Judd, Judd darling, dearest, sweetest Judd, you’re redeemed. You’ve managed to seamlessly incorporate all the best parts of Morrison’s Jason and your own, while deleting all the terrible, unnecessary stuff. Way to go, you.

I’m going to have to lay down now, the excitement was simply too much for me. See you lovely people another day.

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But, where shall I go for my awesome space adventures NOW?!

May 12, 2011 · Filed under Uncategorized · Tagged , , , , , , , , , ,

Man, I’m not ready for this. I can’t take it. R.E.B.E.L.S. can’t end today. I mean, if it ends, what am I going to do with all of my odd feelings for Claude St. Aubin’s art? What, I ask of you?! Seven books. I can put it at the end. I, I can do this.

Cassandra Cain’s new identity is BlackBat. I think I can handle this.

Okay, Fabian, Lynx is no Catwoman. Bat/Cat rooftop makeouts are not normal. Stop throwing women at Tim in hopes that he will bang him, this is not characterization, and it is not making you look any better. But you get points for the one-sided banter between Tim and Scarab, that was cute. I’m not really feeling this book anymore, I think the only thing that keeps me coming back is Marcus To’s pretty, pretty art.

The most dangerous thing for Batgirl in this issue is a young man’s boner for her. So large is his boner for her, he tells the people she was fighting to steer clear of her, because he is going to be fighting her from now on. Whaaaat? In other news, Wendy and the ghost of Marvin are going to Nanda Parbat! Road trip! Is it bad of me to hope that this leads Wendy to make peace with her condition and not seek rehabilitation? I like her as angry!Babs. It’s certainly made her more useful than before.

So let’s break this down. Zoom can change his age as well as time travel now, making him DC’s new Big Threat; Patty was always in love with Barry, which is why she moved away from him (shocker); Zoom has fap material for the rest of eternity now that he’s killed ‘a’ Barry Allen; Bart and Barry have apparently moved past their family issues and get along now, all in the space of ten or so pages. You know, for an issue leading up to an event, I’m not in any way impressed.

The first issue of Flashpoint left me scratching my head. Take heed, all ye reading this, nothing is as we know it. In one group scene, I literally sat here waving my arms and asking if anyone recognized the other Marvel kids. I mean, I am very stumped. I’ll read this series with one brow cocked, thanks.

Birds of Prey made me almost pee myself on the second to last page. I’m going to be completely honest here, Gail Simone’s brain terrify’s me. I don’t know what corner of her mind Junior sprung from, but I never want to travel down that alley after dark. Yes, Junior is back and more fucked up than ever! I’m going to sit in the corner and rock back and forth for a while now.

…hold that thought! I’ll lose my mind later, time for R.E.B.E.L.S.! I swear, I am going to miss this series like crazy. There were so many good things about it! The writing, the art, Lobo and Strife’s blossoming bromance, Kory’s crotch symbol, Lyrl and Vril being ridiculous, aaah. So many things I just love! Anyway, this final issue comes to a close with L.E.G.I.O.N. triumphing over Starro once and for all, Komand’r claiming Vril’s dick as her property, and possibly having the team show up during the War of the Green Lanterns. DC, please let L.E.G.I.O.N. be a series again. Please let Vril’s last line be a lead-in to a new series. That Tony and Claude are working on. I need this in my life.

That was this week in comics, for me anyway, and…is it just me, or do I always finish these things with a complaint on how hungry I am? Because I’m starving. Dinner time! See you here next week?

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Da na na na na na na na Batfamily!

April 14, 2011 · Filed under Uncategorized · Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Ten books! Ten! Obviously, it’s the second week of the month. And not a visible stinker in the lot! Shall we begin?

Okay, if Dragonwing shuts her trap and Glorinth continues being the main focus of the Legion Academy youngsters, I will gladly follow. But poor Power Boy and Lamprey. I mean, I was sort of following their storyline with half a mind (two recruits that have gone far too long without graduating), but their extra years of schooling to be wasted on prison guarding…poor kids. According to the Mysa second feature, next month is going to focus on XS! Jenni returns to Legion, hooray! Ooh, and so do her artists. I am pleased as pie, personally.

So, what the heck is White Knight drowning the Arkham inmates with? Glowing milk? Irradiated semen? What the hell? Backtracking a bit, I swear, I couldn’t stop whimpering ‘BABIES BABIES BABIES’ while reading the Dick and Damian exchange earlier on in the book. It’s as if the Tumblr fandom has been writing all the character growth. Damian is the undeniable star of this book, especially during his fight with Zsasz, and what happens afterwards.

CONFUSION AHOY! This issue starts off with Tim and Kon being boyfriends, and ends with Superboy lying in a ditch after getting the shit beat out of him by Doomsday. What just happened? Well, it may help that this is apparently the fifth part of the Reign of Doomsday storyline. So, I’m not supposed to get it? Okay, let’s go with that.

Red Robin was about faith and God this month. You have one month to redeem yourself, Fabian Nicieza, then this becomes a read-in-store title.

So, wait. Hot Pursuit is an alternate universe Barry Allen that steals speed and time from people in order to power his cosmic motorcycle, and Barry is weirded out by Bart’s existence?
Well, at least the art is pretty.
Also, welcome back, brunette Bart! I’ve missed you so!

So the saga of Booster’s time herpes- okay okay, ‘chronal leprosy’, comes to an end. In the 31st century! Frankly, any time Chris Batista feels like drawing Brainiac 5, I say let him do it. I’ve really grown to adore this art, so, you know.

Have I mentioned that I love Batgirl lately? Because I really love Batgirl. Ramon Bachs can draw this series forever, and I won’t complain at all. Batman Inc really seems to be working well for Batgirl, she’s got her own Cave, her own mini-Oracle, and a purple car! A purple car, you guys! For a chick that started out in a home-swen costume, Steph is really doing well for herself.

When one of my favorite characters from my favorite title makes an appearance in my other favorite title, and they’re both written by my favorite writer, well, this means we’re in for a good issue of Birds of Prey. “What the hell is going on here, Blake?!” Well, obviously makeouts are going on here, Helena. Geez, get with the program. Is it bad that I could ship this? I really have no problem shipping this. Thomas Blake and Helena Bertinelli, the ab-tastic sexypair of the DCU! Aw, too bad the ship has been sunk. Sorta. Help me, fandom!

Pff. Lobo/Smite, brOTP. Man, Tony, why are you bombarding us with excellent space ‘ships when R.E.B.E.L.S. is over as of next month?! How twisted are you? Twisted enough to put Lobo and Smite in a bar, apparently. This can only end in an epic drinking contest, I wager. Ooh Mr. Lyrl ooh. I love all Dox family members forever, thank you. Yup, I was right! Man, if Smite lives through the end of the series, I hope he and Lobo keep in touch. The Main Man needs a pal as badass as he his.

Can I just say one thing? Judd Winick cannot possibly be writing Skeets’ dialogue. It’s far too Giffen-y to have come from him. In this issue of Generation Lost…OMACs! Lots and lots of OMACs! And then an Amazo-like OMAC called OMAC Prime! I am so sick of saying OMAC you have no idea. This was actually a pretty good issue, tell the truth. And it only took 23 issues for me to stop raging at this comic long enough to enjoy it.

Well, that was this week in comics. I have a severe craving for pork fried rice, and also cramps. Get me my red ring! I’m off to destroy the world! But before I do…

This Saturday and Sunday are going to be ridiculous! The annual spring Tate’s Comics tent sale is going on, as well as Florida Supercomics’ first Comic Stock! Incredible deals, both stores are doing a ‘fill a longbox for $35’ type thing, just fun for all ages. Tate’s will be having the FotoRobot again, while FSC is going to have karaoke and a costume contest. I’ll be at both sales Saturday, so keep an eye out!

Catch you folks later, same place as always. Peace out!

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What I thought to be a red ring kind of day has become so much…bluer.

March 10, 2011 · Filed under Uncategorized · Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Oh my god, you guys. Eleven books. And not a single one of them is fail train and- oh. Generation Lost. Ahem. Lemme get my red ring.

Let’s start out with the Legion of Super Villains one-shot. I’m a pretty damn big fan of Lightning Lord and Saturn Queen, so I’m a little disappointed that the third of their trio, Cosmic King, was absent from this book. This issue was all about the most evil of the evil attempting to have their universe descend into chaos by destroying ancient worlds that keep the balance. The Rock of Eternity was the first to go (and whoa, was that a Shazam-hand I spy?! Is Thunder going to be making an appearance?), and Oa will be the last, so what is the world in between? The art was amazing, by the way, and my metaphorical boner for Mekt Ranzz was renewed.

Weird Worlds is fun. The Lobo story featured a couple of murders and a political triple-cross, which is actually pretty typical for Lobo. Not as many explosions as I’m used to, though. The Tanga story was…amusing. Drunk monster fighting, I can get behind that.

Couldn’t get into Batman Inc this month, moving on.

“He’s like a mirror-universe Al Gore!” I love you, Hourman. Oh my god. Wildcat, Tommy you precious flower. “I’m on a boat!” That was the single best entrance ever. I hope Roxy keeps her body, I really do. Citizen Steel needs some lovin’ too. But she claims that being human grosses her out, so, que sera sera. The little epilogue with Tyler and Roxy was sweet, so, she does keep her body?

I guess being in love with your cousin runs in both sides of Kon’s family. Lori Luthor, you have something in common with Silver Age Superman, your uncle would be so proud. Wait a second, ‘Garth’? Kon, Beast Boy’s name is Garfield. I love how they touched on Kon and Bart’s friendship. I mean, everyone knows that Kon is gay for is best friends with Tim, but people are always forgetting his friendship with Bart. Neither of them had a normal childhood, both grew up in artificial enviornments, and both have very big shoes that they’ll eventually need to fill. The boys are bros. And the winner is…Krypto! Aww, puppy for the win. Congratulations, Krypto!

I’m just going to talk about puppet Zatanna. She is, at once, the most awesome, and most terrifying thing. Your soul trapped in a puppet that you have no control over? Aggggh. The art and plots in this book just get better and better, I’m never disappointed.

Excuse me, what are a bunch of Deadpool wannabes doing henching for the Calculator? “Congratulations, you just pissed off Superman.” Oh Helena, I do love you. So, Oracle is dead. Except, Barbara Gordon is not. And tell the truth, Oracle isn’t exactly gone either. For now, Proxy is going to be the go-to girl when it comes to information retrieval, and Oracle is going to…I don’t know. Build a second internet, apparently. Good issue, good arc, but I was a little meh on the art. Also, here’s hoping that Mortis never makes another appearance, because good lord. Speaking of reappearances, hiya Misfit! I hope Gail tells us where she’s been, because I missed that girl.

Just kiss the poor detective, Steph. You know you want to. But enough of that. Frankly, the real star of this issue is the new Gray Ghost, Clancy Johnson. This nutbag is just completely adorable. He calls Steph his ‘beautiful bruise’. You precious, precious flower. Oh yeah, and Proxy is an angry abandoned child with a wild stripe in her hair. I’m getting a Jason vibe, and I don’t know why.

Wait a minute. I thought Aaron Langstrom was a tiny Bat-child? When did he go human? I would give another yell of Morrison ignores all canon but his own, except this entire arc is being written by Peter J. Tomasi.
…is Damian eating a Twinkie? Actually, if Alfred made it, it’s probably an eclaire, but still. This kid…he manages to be a genius one panel, a brat the next, and hilarious two panels after that. “That’s soooo incredibly interesting, I can’t wait to tweet it.” You precious child, I just want to strangle you with my love. You know, like your mom does. Zing! So, this White Knight is after all the relations of Arkham inmates? On one hand, while this will be an interesting situation to explore, you do know that eventually, the Knight will be targeting either Dick Grayson or Bruce Wayne because of their connections to Jason Todd, a current inmate, right? Right?

Oh my god, references to gay prison sex. Boys, never stop writing this book, I beg of you.
…
I take it back oh god I take it back! I have the worst case of crying. Booster! Baby! GET AWAY FROM THE END OF THE WORLD BEFORE YOU HURT YOURSELF!

Why. Why am I doing this to myself? Jaime was, is, was one of my favorite characters ever. My absolute favorite character introduced in comics following the year 2000. I loved that kid. I don’t want to see him lying on a table, still in his armor (his bug suit. He threw up in his bug suit. He was always good about losing his lunch in the early days.). I don’t want to listen to Booster and Skeets talking about taking him home. I don’t…what’s everyone else doing? Nate and Tora are fighting, Bea and Gavril are…oh. Okay. Get some, girl. Booster, you’re good at speechifying. But then again you’ve been getting in some good practice lately and-
oh my god.
Oh my god.
Cancel the lynch mob and the mourning vigils. Break open all the champagne. All of it. HE LIVES HE FUCKING LIVES GET ME MY BLUE RING JAIME REYES IS ALIVE!
Pfff Gavril and Booster’s faces. Huh, I just noticed how totally full of hunky blondes the JLI is. Well, okay then.

And that was this week in comics. Ahem. I have a date with some corned beef and cabbage, and maybe a celebratory entire bottle of Svedka in Jaime’s honor (not really, dad, I may be legal now, but that stuff stinks. Put down the gun.). Peace out, and I hope to see you here next week.

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-insert expletive here- YOU JUDD WINICK

February 10, 2011 · Filed under Uncategorized · Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Ten books. Ten. Holy shit. And Fail Train isn’t on the lineup. In fact, I’m not expecting any of these to suck. Holy Moley.

Knight and Squire is always good for a chuckle, so- oh my god! Since it’s hard to emote without vocal inflection, that was an indignant yell. This is supposed to be a funny action title, what the hell is the Joker doing in England? Ohh, I’m not pleased.

Okay, lemme be the first to say that I’m a fan of Chemical Kid’s glowing green glasses. Actually, I like the designs of everyone in the new Legion Academy. That doesn’t mean I like their personalities, though. Glorinth seems okay, but Hadru is a ridiculous brat. Dragonwing seems like a bit of a bitch, too. If Adventure Comics is going to be detailing the adventures of the kids in Legion Academy from now on, I could dig it.

…kiss of rage and burning blood? Oh, Guy, you silly boy. Pff, of course the telepaths would bitch while Bleez is trying to help them. Okay, now, maybe a Green Lantern veteran reader can help me; who the heck is Aleesun? Whoever she was, she seemed to mean quite a bit to Guy. Ah well, if no one answers me, I guess I can wait until next issue.

I believe the last issue of R.E.B.E.L.S. ended with someone stealing Tribilus. Except, apparently, Smite wasn’t after Tribilus, he was after Dox. And now Starro has made the Psion homeworld the cornerstone world for his new empire…wow, our universe is fucked! No, really, our universe is fucked. So, you remember how the Psions were cloning things? Well, they’re cloning Czarnians. I guess the only good thing is that Starro is unable to control them. But still, an army of Lobo? This can only end in mass bloodshed and/or sex. Or maybe not. Lobo, you smart bastich. Oh shit! Is Stormdaughter…dead? I hope not, she was a pretty cool character. Ah well, cliffhangers abound.

I’m still a little wary about the Speed Force motorcycle. I mean, it’s a pretty lame idea. But Sam (one of the people that works at my LCS) just offered the suggestion that it could be John Fox, the Flash of the 25th century. But that seems unlikely. For one, John Fox is way too cool to do something as lame as have a Speed Force motorcycle. Then, there’s the existence of the Reverse Flash Task Force. Why would 25th century Central City need both? Methinks John Fox may be no longer in continuity. ‘Elongated Kid’? And it’s a dead old man?
Wut.
So the motorcycle guy is…but…what?! Okay, prediction time. Elongated Kid is the anomaly, and he’s actually Ralph and Sue’s unborn child from an alternate timeline. You heard it here first, folks.

I’m gonna be completely honest, Batman and Robin is all about Robin. Damian is a brat, and we love him for it. He’s even grouchy with a milkshake in one hand and his family all around. You little snit, I love ya. Anyway, the issue starts out with a suicide and ends with lots and lots of glowing bats. It was a good issue, but honestly, every part that didn’t have Damian being a brat sort of made my eyes glaze over. The kid stole the show.

Damn, and here I was hoping that Tim would ditch the condom-cap and stick with the Uternet costume permanently. Have we mentioned that Catman is badass lately? Because he is. When a member of the family that used to beat you up for fun acknowledges that you’re a BAMF, then by god, you’re a BAMF. But this issue isn’t about Catman. It’s about Tim calling Superboy Kon.
No, seriously, he did. Go check, I’ll wait. See it? Ohmygod! Aaand then Damian steals the spotlight in this issue, too. What is it about that kid that makes writers focus on him? Augh, I hate that I love him so much. And then the Calculator was a bomb! There are many bombs! Everybody panic! The art in this issue was fabulous. Marcus To, I give you my blessing to draw teenagers forever.

Batgirl is one of those series’ that just puts you in a good mood from start to finish. I mean, the plot of this issue is that Steph and Klarion (bum bum BUM) the Witch Boy are on a mission to get his familiar laid. No, seriously. I liked the nice little hat tip Klarion gave to his old musical sting, too. Though I am a bit torqued that Teekl has been rebooted to be male. I guess DC was getting tired of all the beastiality jokes. Hold your rotten veggies until the end please, folks.

Dinah, your mom is hot. Meaning no disrespect to the dead, but dayum. I hope Gail Simone never becomes my subconcious. I love her, but she’s way, way too good at making people she writes feel guilty. She’s like nine Jewish mothers and a middle school principals wrapped into one being of infinite power. Oh god, I just gave myself goosebumps at that thought. Current, I hope you die in a fire. He pimp slapped Lady Blackhawk! Who does that?! No one! What the hell?! Wow, Hank, you’re horribly drawn this issue. I mean, wow. The ladies, however, look excellent, especially Dove. I’m really starting to like this character again. What?! Another cliffhanger? Fab.

WINIIIIIIIICK. GOD DAMNIT WHAT THE FUCK.

That was what I excused myself from the comic store to scream outside until my voice broke. Damnit, Judd. Damnit, DC. GOD DAMNIT, MAX LORD. Did the original Blue Beetle kill your puppy? Rape your mother? Is that why you’ve seen to it that everyone that holds the Scarab, that you can get to, must die of a gunshot to the head? As soon as the issue opened, my heart clenched. In a series like this, if there’s a flashback to better times, someone is going to die. Someone is going to die. First issue of Identity Crisis, Ralph was telling Firehawk how he and his wife met. Four pages later, death. But you couldn’t just kill him, could you, asshole? You had to give us hope. Jaime escapes! Jaime gets a signal out so that the rest of the JLI can find him! Power Girl is off to tell the world about how evil Max is! The JLI makes it to Max’s hideout! Jaime says something funny!
DEATH.

Fuck. You. No more. I thought Jaime would be protected, Editorial mandates and what have you. He was a character Infinite Crisis spawned, Dan Didio liked him, fans liked him, he was the first Blue Beetle ever brought to TV. He’s supposed to be on Smallville soon. He has a family that loves him, friends outside of the superheroing set. His little sister ships Boostle. He has a good relationship with both his living parents, and he took his grandma flying once. I, I’m not gonna cry. I refuse to give you the satisfaction. He isn’t dead, this is just the mother of all fakeouts. It had better be.

That was this week in comics. I’m gonna go have dinner, then rock back and forth while clutching my knees and sitting fully clothed in the shower. Peace out.

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A good week? What is this, Utopia?

January 13, 2011 · Filed under Uncategorized · Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Second week of the month, you know what that means! Eleven books! No fail expected! Can you handle this?! Let’s see if you can.

Okay, Paul Cornell should write Batman and Robin from now on. Please don’t let this one arc be it, because holy shit. Una Nemo, Absence, is one of those Bat-villains that has potential lasting power. She has a grudge on Bruce Wayne and typical Silver Age female motivation: to get the man she’s pining for to notice her. Sounds simple and almost silly, right? Well, Absence has one up on the women of the Silver Age because, guess what? She’s a friggin’ evil genius. Luring all the Batmen possible to her so that her gang can take out the people who tried to kill her the first time around, testing the strength and mettle of the Batman/Robin bond…brilliant. From my keyboard to DC editorial’s ears, Absence could be one of the great Batman femme fatales, don’t let her fall into obscurity.

Let me just say, I love how Cyril has a Southern Butler. He really is the Batman of England, and this ‘Hank’ seems like just the right person to be his Alfred. And ohmygod, Shrike and Cyril doing the guy thing. I swear to god, I was half expecting a line like, “You break her heart, I’ll break your legs.” Booooys…Beryl is quite possibly one of my favorite characters now. I mean, she’s so…hngh. If you’re not reading Knight and Squire yet, hop to it. Two issues left, and I can’t stand it.

Holy shit. What is this garbage?! Who stole Helena Sandsmark’s personality and replaced her with a bitch? Okay, a little bit of the history of the current Wonder Girl and her mother. Cassie has never really had a hard time getting her mother to support her career as a superhero. Helena worked at the museum that Cassie first swiped the magical tools that granted her original powers, and seemed to have very few qualms about Zeus granting her powers of her own. She literally got into a fist fight with Arrowette’s mother over letting their daughters be superheroes versus forcing them to. In the midst of the Amazon Attack, Helena was placed in a sympathizers camp, because she was the mother of Wonder Girl. Helena has NEVER been truly against Cassie being a hero. So what is this?! Blatant disregard of character history. I dub thee fail. But it was nice to finally officially meet the character that’s eventually going to become a Titan, Solstice. I like her character design, very pretty. Holy bi-polar, Batman! Did Cassie’s mom have a second personality transplant on top of the first? I find this odd, because J.T. Krul is normally such a good writer, but his characterization of Helena Sandsmark is, well, way off the mark.

Oh, Damian. You know you love Alfred like a grampa. Give it time, the revelation will come to you. How is it that every time Damian and Steph team up, I find myself falling more and more for the little bastard? He’s just too cute! I know this is the Batgirl book, but I wouldn’t object at all to more teamups between these two. Damian trying to blend in on a field trip, Steph teaching him how to play in a bounce house…DC, I’m begging you. Make this a regular thing between arcs. Damian needs a fun big sister to counterbalance the rest of his nutty family.

“No skin off my full, lustrous head of hair, man.” Oh, Deadshot. Never stop being amusing. This month’s Secret Six is a direct continuation of the last issue of Action Comics. In it, we see that Vandal really does love his daughter, Lex, while hot beyond words, is the biggest prick of all, and that Black Alice is probably the best and worst person to have on your team ever. “Is that a giant green catching mitt? I’d rather take the fall.” Oh, one-liners.

AUGH! That first giant splash page of Kilowog yelling at Guy actually caused me to jump. I’ve come to a conclusion about the Red Lanterns. Their power? It’s bulimia. Bleez barfs up a knife to take out a planetwide ring of defense, then chews on the big bad. This is how Red Lanterns stay so fit, everyone! Their power is purging!

Guillem March, you glorious bastard. The art in Birds of Prey was so pretty, I’m not even sure how to handle myself right now. And Gail, that scene with the Penguin was just horrifyingly creepydorable.

I want Tim to keep this new suit. He would have the best way of explaining how it came about. “It came to me in a dream!” The Uternet, which, by the way, is the worst name for a supervillain’s MMORPG in the history of ever, has been breached and corrupted! Tam Fox secretly wants to be a blaxploitaion heroine named Foxy Lady! Tim, or Lonnie, wants Cass to be Batman! Never change, book. Never change.

Oh god, please don’t let me turn the page to see that Lobo has a daughter. PLEASE don’t let me turn the page to see that Lobo has a daughter. Let’s just go back to Vril and Komand’r being flirty, lovey dovey time with Adam and Alanna, and Lobo harassing Captain Comet about how Kory just wants to bang him. Yaaay, more flirty flirty with Vril and Komy and…Stormdaughter? Stormdaughter is a Czarnian? Please don’t kiss him. Let the close-up on her lips mean that she’s about to start singing Science Fiction Double Feature, not that Stormdaughter is about to make out with Lobo. Don’t do this to me, Tony. I’m in no state to start shipping anything tonight. AUGH. You did it! You finally did it! You blew it up, damn you! Nice to see the phrase ‘Feetal’s gizz’ back in action, though. I missed it. (I should not find Lobo ripping his shirt as hot as I do oh god what is wrong with me damn you Claude St. Aubin you draw everyone too hot) Oh, good. It was just a pheromone. Worried me for a second there, Tony. Lobo isn’t Superman, he made sure he was the last of the Czarnians. In other news, trying to imagine a Tamaranian/Coluan hybrid just made me wince. The kid would be a walking Christmas decoration. Oh noes! Why you be stealin’ my Tribilus?

…Booster is 35? No wonder he’s so touchy about the possibility of going bald. Origin story, origin story, “Women in dozens of eras across history have sung the praises of my ass!” fight scene, fight scene, Iron Man reference (how?), banned from his favorite coffee place, origin story, YOU’RE UNDER ARREST! Ladies and gentlemen, that was Booster Gold #40 in a run-on sentence. Thank you.

So this entire run-around was just so Max could regain control of Checkmate and reactivate the OMACs? Max, I think you should just wear a big name tag, because you’re going to get sick of introducing yourself over and over. Also, when did Kara add high heels to her costume? She didn’t, that’s when. Stupid artist.

I’d like to just say, the latter half of these reviews were written while I was half asleep. I apologize for any unintentional humor, and if it suits me, I’ll rewrite them at a later date. Peace out, and stay warm.

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