Posts tagged Titans

I may just start a Tumblr like that…except Beetles must be remember for the good times, not the bad

February 24, 2011 · Filed under Uncategorized · Tagged , , , , , , , , , , ,

Oh, what a small week. Five books, one of which is guaranteed to either make me happy beyond words, or so full of rage, I begin spontaneously spewing blood everywhere. Let’s do this thing.

Larfleeze, your quirkiness is amusing beyond words. “Hairless Lex Luthor!” Yes indeed. Oh my god, is he doing a, a Gollum impression? You precious little flower. I think Glomulus is his favorite Corpsblob or something, because Larfleeze doesn’t just hug anyone. Oh my god. So he’s behind this. Of course he is. Who else could it be? I’m hoping that the reinclusion of Brainiac in Lex’s life will finally lead up to where the hell the Brainiac/Lex clone has gotten to.

Harley has snapped. I know people will argue that she’d snapped by the time she first showed up in Batman: The Animated Series, but at least she was happy then. This Harley is just a tightly-wound ball of rage and hatred in a fancy hat. A manipulative woman we’ve never really gotten to see much of before. And she wants the Joker dead. Good luck, honey. You’ll need it.

So, Peeg. You dug up one of your dead friends to prove to Dick Grayson that Max Lord was real. How does that feel? Not gonna lie, this issue made me facepalm and yell at Dick a lot. Bruce, however, was sort of awesome for once, though his whole ‘I remember everything’ sort of cemented him as DC Jesus in my eyes. In other news, Nicco, you would be an awesome liar if ladies smarter and more fabulous than you weren’t around to spoil everything. Also, I have this feeling that the next couple of issues of everything that ties into Generation Lost is going to be all Crying About Beetles dot Tumblr dot com.

My rage has flared to previously unimaginable levels. I don’t care about you anymore, Max. The sleazy, sometimes goofy businessman from times past is dead to me. I don’t care that you’re essentially a momma’s boy with a god complex. I don’t care that your mommy was in Coast City when it was destroyed. A lot of people lost their lives in a tragedy that no one could have stopped once it got started. There’s only one thing I care about right now.
Jaime Reyes had almost seven years. He was introduced during Infinite Crisis to immediately replace the fallen Ted Kord. In the seven years he was around, he had his own series, a spot on the Teen Titans, a few back-up stories in Booster Gold, and a snug place in the hearts of many of DC’s readers. His popularity only grew when he was introduced to the rest of the world through Batman: The Brave and the Bold. He was always a smart, responsible, goofy kid that loved his friends and family. He, he wanted to be a dentist so that his sister could go to college and his parents would be assured an easy retirement. And now he’s dead.
That was one of the worst things I’ve ever had to type. Who’s going to tell his family? Who is going to tell Paco and Brenda? Who is going to have to stoop down and tell Milagro Reyes that her big brother isn’t going to be coming home because a man they’ve never heard of, a man they didn’t even remember existing, killed him just like he did the Beetle before him? I can’t do it. Booster shouldn’t have to do it. No one should have to. Because this boy didn’t deserve to die.
All I can say about this entire this is this: DC, if you’re doing your whitewashing thing again by killing a minority character in order to bring in a white guy, that white guy had better be Ted Kord. Not a new character. Not a PoC. And you better not be retiring the mantle of Blue Beetle, either. You fucking bring back Ted Kord. Or I just…I don’t know what I would do. I’m way too invested in your better series’ (Birds of Prey, Batgirl, Secret Six, etc) to be able to keep a boycott of DC for even a week. I just don’t have any answers right now.

(this review was written before the above one, but moved to the bottom so that this entry would end on a happy note)
Damian, you precious flower. AUGH. AUGH. KON, TIM, MAKE WITH THE KISSES ALREADY. No, seriously. You boys need to just get over yourselves and your issues and just make the kisses happen. Well, I guess it’s 100% confirmed now then, isn’t it? Kid Eternity is even deader than he was before the Calculator got to him. How does that work, exactly? Did he just…disapparate or something? Become discorpereal? What? I mean, the character’s whole schtick is that he’s already dead, he just can’t go to heaven or hell yet. So, what’s going on? Did he finally cross over? You’d better get back to me on this, Teen Titans. I want to know. So…Tim’s back on the team, and Damian has been curbed? Well, that sort of makes sense. Dami’s only ten or so, he wouldn’t really fit in with this particular team of Titans yet. Try again in a few years, Dick. Aww, how cute. And I know people are gonna be like, he called Dick his only friend! No. He’s talking about Colin. You know, Abuse from Streets of Gotham. He and that kid are totally BFFs. Dick isn’t his friend, Dick is his substitute daddy that hugs too much.

And that was this week in comics! Sort of. Look, I know two Deadpool titles came out today but I just…I can’t follow that guy. As much as I love him and his concept, I just can’t stay interested for more than two or three issues at a time.
Oh, and speaking of Tumblr, I’ve had one of my own for several weeks now! Follow me at touchofgrey37. But as always, parental advisory is suggested. I swear like a sailor.
Peace out, you guys. Got some computer problems I need to fix. Same time next week? Swerval.

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Tiny week, early post. Coincidence?!

January 26, 2011 · Filed under Uncategorized · Tagged , , , , , , , ,

Wow, tiny week. Four books, that’s sort of sad. The reason this review is going up so early is because I’m actually writing it in the comic shop (Crossroads, on University for those in the know). Broward County has been hit by some massive thunderstorms in the past couple of days, and one of them knocked out my power. Anyway, enough of my woes. To the books!

“Jazz hands!” Lex and the Joker. Just from saying those two names, you know an issue is going to be good. I don’t really like the Joker, never have, but I like it when he can call people out on their own delusions. Well, that’s interesting. I have no idea where this entire quest is going anymore. Does Lex want to become the master of death? Does he just want to collect rings and energy? Seriously, what? But hey, for our patience, we get a little Larfleeze next month, so that’s okay.

Wow, Kara. I forgot all about that haircut. It…looked spectacularly bad. Uh oh. Peeg thinks she’s fighting Superman? Congratulations, Nate, you’re epically fucked. What I want to know, Max, is how do you get Batman out of Booster? No, really. Clue me in. If I were controlling Power Girl’s mind and I wanted her to see a Justice League gone evil in place of her friends, I think I would have gone the all-alien route. Maybe it’s just me having my sexy-Max blinders on, but is anyone else seeing this torture scene as kinda…prelude-to-rape-y? Of all the powers in the superhero grab bag, I think I would want superhearing the least. Sure, no one would ever be able to sneak up on me, but is the intense pain every time someone plays a Daft Punk CD really worth it? And now Kara is on the team. Good show, Generation Lost, good show.

Evil puppets? Creepy. Not-so-evil puppets? Still creepy. Just because you didn’t kill the guy, what makes you think that you’ve got the right to try killing Zatanna? For the third time, I may add. Ah well, you’re pretty lucky Zee is good people, Hampel. The little second story, about Zee as a teenager, was beyond adorable. Not to mention a poignant love note to the 80s. Oh, Speak and Spell. You know some nerd that still has theirs is going to go home and try that, now.

Okay, I have a theory. If Damian stays with the Titans, he’s going to have a ridiculously hilarious not-crush on Rose. “Girls are gross! Um, especially Rose. Because she’s a girl. And girls are gross.” Their banter is just precious. They should start a ‘damaged kids’ club within the team, for Titans with crazy parents. Inertia cameo?! Well, Inertia outline cameo. Still made my day. Aaaand Kon splits with Cassie. I saw this. I saw this coming like, two issues ago. “Well, maybe this Wilson isn’t so bad.” Damian, just admit that you love Rose with all your psychotic little heart. You know you want to. Cliffhanger! I’m guessing this has something to do with the next issue of Red Robin. Okay, I’m intrigued. Go on.

Well, that was this week. I’m going to spend some time with my man, maybe go to the other comic store in the area (Tate’s Comics, for those in the know), then head home to see if the lights are back on. I hope they are. Just because I carry a flashlight around doesn’t mean I want to have to use it all night. Until next week, peace out!

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A good week? What is this, Utopia?

January 13, 2011 · Filed under Uncategorized · Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Second week of the month, you know what that means! Eleven books! No fail expected! Can you handle this?! Let’s see if you can.

Okay, Paul Cornell should write Batman and Robin from now on. Please don’t let this one arc be it, because holy shit. Una Nemo, Absence, is one of those Bat-villains that has potential lasting power. She has a grudge on Bruce Wayne and typical Silver Age female motivation: to get the man she’s pining for to notice her. Sounds simple and almost silly, right? Well, Absence has one up on the women of the Silver Age because, guess what? She’s a friggin’ evil genius. Luring all the Batmen possible to her so that her gang can take out the people who tried to kill her the first time around, testing the strength and mettle of the Batman/Robin bond…brilliant. From my keyboard to DC editorial’s ears, Absence could be one of the great Batman femme fatales, don’t let her fall into obscurity.

Let me just say, I love how Cyril has a Southern Butler. He really is the Batman of England, and this ‘Hank’ seems like just the right person to be his Alfred. And ohmygod, Shrike and Cyril doing the guy thing. I swear to god, I was half expecting a line like, “You break her heart, I’ll break your legs.” Booooys…Beryl is quite possibly one of my favorite characters now. I mean, she’s so…hngh. If you’re not reading Knight and Squire yet, hop to it. Two issues left, and I can’t stand it.

Holy shit. What is this garbage?! Who stole Helena Sandsmark’s personality and replaced her with a bitch? Okay, a little bit of the history of the current Wonder Girl and her mother. Cassie has never really had a hard time getting her mother to support her career as a superhero. Helena worked at the museum that Cassie first swiped the magical tools that granted her original powers, and seemed to have very few qualms about Zeus granting her powers of her own. She literally got into a fist fight with Arrowette’s mother over letting their daughters be superheroes versus forcing them to. In the midst of the Amazon Attack, Helena was placed in a sympathizers camp, because she was the mother of Wonder Girl. Helena has NEVER been truly against Cassie being a hero. So what is this?! Blatant disregard of character history. I dub thee fail. But it was nice to finally officially meet the character that’s eventually going to become a Titan, Solstice. I like her character design, very pretty. Holy bi-polar, Batman! Did Cassie’s mom have a second personality transplant on top of the first? I find this odd, because J.T. Krul is normally such a good writer, but his characterization of Helena Sandsmark is, well, way off the mark.

Oh, Damian. You know you love Alfred like a grampa. Give it time, the revelation will come to you. How is it that every time Damian and Steph team up, I find myself falling more and more for the little bastard? He’s just too cute! I know this is the Batgirl book, but I wouldn’t object at all to more teamups between these two. Damian trying to blend in on a field trip, Steph teaching him how to play in a bounce house…DC, I’m begging you. Make this a regular thing between arcs. Damian needs a fun big sister to counterbalance the rest of his nutty family.

“No skin off my full, lustrous head of hair, man.” Oh, Deadshot. Never stop being amusing. This month’s Secret Six is a direct continuation of the last issue of Action Comics. In it, we see that Vandal really does love his daughter, Lex, while hot beyond words, is the biggest prick of all, and that Black Alice is probably the best and worst person to have on your team ever. “Is that a giant green catching mitt? I’d rather take the fall.” Oh, one-liners.

AUGH! That first giant splash page of Kilowog yelling at Guy actually caused me to jump. I’ve come to a conclusion about the Red Lanterns. Their power? It’s bulimia. Bleez barfs up a knife to take out a planetwide ring of defense, then chews on the big bad. This is how Red Lanterns stay so fit, everyone! Their power is purging!

Guillem March, you glorious bastard. The art in Birds of Prey was so pretty, I’m not even sure how to handle myself right now. And Gail, that scene with the Penguin was just horrifyingly creepydorable.

I want Tim to keep this new suit. He would have the best way of explaining how it came about. “It came to me in a dream!” The Uternet, which, by the way, is the worst name for a supervillain’s MMORPG in the history of ever, has been breached and corrupted! Tam Fox secretly wants to be a blaxploitaion heroine named Foxy Lady! Tim, or Lonnie, wants Cass to be Batman! Never change, book. Never change.

Oh god, please don’t let me turn the page to see that Lobo has a daughter. PLEASE don’t let me turn the page to see that Lobo has a daughter. Let’s just go back to Vril and Komand’r being flirty, lovey dovey time with Adam and Alanna, and Lobo harassing Captain Comet about how Kory just wants to bang him. Yaaay, more flirty flirty with Vril and Komy and…Stormdaughter? Stormdaughter is a Czarnian? Please don’t kiss him. Let the close-up on her lips mean that she’s about to start singing Science Fiction Double Feature, not that Stormdaughter is about to make out with Lobo. Don’t do this to me, Tony. I’m in no state to start shipping anything tonight. AUGH. You did it! You finally did it! You blew it up, damn you! Nice to see the phrase ‘Feetal’s gizz’ back in action, though. I missed it. (I should not find Lobo ripping his shirt as hot as I do oh god what is wrong with me damn you Claude St. Aubin you draw everyone too hot) Oh, good. It was just a pheromone. Worried me for a second there, Tony. Lobo isn’t Superman, he made sure he was the last of the Czarnians. In other news, trying to imagine a Tamaranian/Coluan hybrid just made me wince. The kid would be a walking Christmas decoration. Oh noes! Why you be stealin’ my Tribilus?

…Booster is 35? No wonder he’s so touchy about the possibility of going bald. Origin story, origin story, “Women in dozens of eras across history have sung the praises of my ass!” fight scene, fight scene, Iron Man reference (how?), banned from his favorite coffee place, origin story, YOU’RE UNDER ARREST! Ladies and gentlemen, that was Booster Gold #40 in a run-on sentence. Thank you.

So this entire run-around was just so Max could regain control of Checkmate and reactivate the OMACs? Max, I think you should just wear a big name tag, because you’re going to get sick of introducing yourself over and over. Also, when did Kara add high heels to her costume? She didn’t, that’s when. Stupid artist.

I’d like to just say, the latter half of these reviews were written while I was half asleep. I apologize for any unintentional humor, and if it suits me, I’ll rewrite them at a later date. Peace out, and stay warm.

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Last week, on Days of Our Lives…

December 30, 2010 · Filed under Uncategorized · Tagged , , , , , , ,

Last week of the year, faithful readers! Oh, 2010, how sad I am to see you go. Pff, nah. Farewell, 52 weeks of partial disappointment, partial euphoria, hello 2011! A new year, full of endless possiblities. Also, this is the year I’m finally allowed to legally imbibe, which means that come March, I will be inventing the DC Comics Drinking Game. But that will be then. This is now, and I plan on reviewing these five books as well as they deserve.

Action Comics’ main story ends with a cliffhanger and features Vandal Savage alternating between sweet and murderous. It’s an interesting concept, but does it work? Yes and no. While it’s obvious that Vandal still cares greatly for his daughter, Scandal, he is still a man of goals. Since it has been prophesized that Lex Luthor would bring him his greatest happiness, he’ll do anything to make that prophecy come true. It’s my personal belief that Vandal’s greatest happiness would come in the form of a son from Scandal, but since that will never happen willingly, I’m guessing some shenanigans will be involved to make it so.
When a second feature begins with the line “I am not a male prostitute”, you know that you’re in for a few chuckles. And when the punchline is basically “Jimmy Olsen marries the daughter of Mr. Mxy in a story worthy of the Silver Age”, as well as the news that the story itself leads into a new Jimmy Olsen ongoing, well, it’s enough to make a girl positively giddy.

I hate it when I have to admit that I liked an issue of Green Lantern. In my defense, Hal Jordan didn’t show up at all this issue, it was focused entirely on Atrocious, the Butcher, and the Spectre. Hal Jordan on the cover was a lie, the best lie I’ve ever seen. Geoff, please know that I don’t hate you. I really don’t. You’re an excellent writer, you have the ability to create witty, interesting, convincing characters, but you’re in love with Hal Jordan. When it comes to him, your fanboy hat comes on, as well as your nostalgia goggles, and you refuse to characterize him as anything but Jesus reborn and walking the Earth. This Red Lantern focused issue was awesome, and I hope you do more in the future, perhaps even one that would reveal more about the Indigo Tribe, or something that tells us what Larfleeze’s oath is. The comic community will thank you.

A jealous woman is a horrific thing. I would never want to be in love with the same man as Talia al Ghul, that bitch would rip me apart. What does this have to do with Gotham City Sirens? Everything. Zatanna, Talia, and Selina are all in love with Bruce Wayne. don’t ask me why, I don’t see the appeal. But remember, back in the second issue where a flashback sequence showed Selina and Talia talking, and Talia said that they were the only two women Bruce had ever really loved? Well, she got one woman right. I’m convinced that Bruce has never loved Talia, a woman many have considered to be a psycho, but has pretty much always loved Selina, in any identity she chooses to take. Talia can’t stand that, so she wants Selina’s memories of Bruce gone. Luckily, Zatanna caught on at the last second, shippers rejoice.

Oh, Teen Titans. At $2.99 a book again, I am pleased to say that I can afford to buy you and your pretty, pretty art again. JT Krul and Nicola Scott have been doing a great job with the new team, and I’m really looking forward to seeing where they’re going with the Hindi chick. But the real stars of this issue are Robin and Ravager. I really hope Rose doesn’t have a Robin fetish or anything, because that could get real creepy real fast. We’re going to see next issue whether or not the team wild cards play well together, and I can’t wait.

Wow, Scott Kolins. That’s really bad art you’ve got in Flash this month. I mean, holy shit. I have never seen Eobard Thawne drawn so badly in my life. But the story is…okay, I’m going to be frank. Geoff, you really knocked it out of the park in Green Lantern, but this issue of Flash sucks. It really does. The idea that Zoom spends his later life time travelling to make his earlier life easier is absurd. Rip Hunter and the rest of the Time Masters exist to prevent this sort of thing from happening. Every change Eobard made to his life would immediately be undone by Rip or Booster, and therefor no change would occur. You’re the one who rebooted the idea of the Time Masters back in 52 and the earliest run of the new Booster Gold series, what the hell are you doing contradicting yourself like this? I am disappoint, Geoff.

See you next year, lads and lasses! This it ToG reminding you to stay groovy, bundle the hell up, and always support your Local Comic Store by saying no to food and saying yes to comics! Peace out, and a happy new year!

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Oh the weather outside is frightful…no, seriously, I’m freezing

December 23, 2010 · Filed under Uncategorized · Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Happy Wednesday-before-Christmas, everyone! We’ve got eight books to cover, including two one-shots and the answer to the all-important question we’ve waited months for: Who shall lead the Legion of Superheroes?

First up is the long awaited Larfleeze Christmas Special. All I can say is, I’m glad DC already did their usual Holiday Special, because this one-shot, focused on Larfleeze’s hunt for Santa Claus, was ho ho horrible. Try again next year, maybe with a Batwoman Hanukah Adventure.

So, let me ask you something, DC. If you’re trying to uphold the sanctity of death, then why on earth would you reintroduce a character whose only power seems to be coming back from the dead?! Is it because Morrison is writing Batman: Incorporated? I bet it is. You guys let him get away with murder. Long story made incredibly short, Lord Death Man is now spacebound, and Japan has a new Batman. Also, Aquazon from the Super Young Team cameos, hyper-mega! Yeah, i probably shouldn’t do that again.

I’d like to congratulate two people today. Firstly, congratulations to Mon-El for being voted into leader of the Legion of Superheroes. Way to go, pal. Secondly, I’d like to congratulate Querl Dox from Gaia Online for guessing the outcome of the Legion Leader Poll a month or so in advance. Way to be as smart as the person you play, man. Legion was amazingly good this month. I’m really starting to get a feel for the character of Tellus. Having grown up reading the Reboot, I’d never even gotten to meet him until he started showing up in Action Comics a year or two back. In fact, I’m interested in getting to know all the characters that had been left out of the Reboot and Threeboot. Speaking of the Reboot, though, where the hell is XS?! She wasn’t even counted as an active Legion member when the vote for Leader came up! I am not pleased.

What? What? Tim, how would you know that the miniseries in which your father died was called Identity Crisis? Seriously, was that was Bruce classified it as? Why would he even do this? One panel into this Teen Titans one-shot and I’m enraged. This does not bode well. Aw, Eddie’s in this! I’ve missed him. Wait, is Ravager wearing a thong with the Robin symbol on it? Aaaand we’re back to me raging. Wait. Wait. Is Tim about to hit Eddie with a rolled up comic like he’s a bad dog?! Aw, Eddie has concern for Rose. And he really is a good fanboy detective. Wait, since when did Ravager’s costume have heels?! How is it that despite being the same age, if not older than the other people on the team at the time, everyone still treats Eddie like a kid? Of course you wish Kon was there, Cassie. That was the only thing you ever wanted during the OYL storylines. And now that he’s back, you treat him like shit, way to go! Little hearts? Really, Sean Murphy? You think this particular scene called for little hearts?! And then Pandora’s box was opened. Verdict: Teen Titans Cold Case was alright. Yes, it made me rage, but mostly, it was okay. Also, it made me really, really miss Eddie.
(The above is a reaction review, pay it little to no mind, as I was out of mine at the time.)

Green Lantern Corps amuses me. Any comic that has John Stewart blindfolded and bound like a calf at a rodeo is cool by me. We also get to see the extent of the pact between Ganthet, Guy, and Atrocious, and boy is it disgusting. I really haven’t got much to say about this particular comic, but the next one should be pretty awesome. The entire Sinestro Corps versus the Weaponer, now taking all bets. My money is on Natu shooting him before they even get to the surface of Qward, but that’s just me.

So, Zatanna freaked me the hell out this month. I’m not afraid of puppets, per say, but ever since I saw the movie Dead Silence, I’ve been no big fan of those wooden monstrosities. Paul, you are fantastic at setting things up. Fuseli, from the Brother Night storyline, takes Zatanna on a guided tour of one of her most prominent nightmares, at her own request this time. Hm, seems she and Daddy Z were even more similar than she thought. On a lesser note, I’m so in love with Zee’s stage manager now. “Are those real @#$%ing stars?!” Also, I happen to love how Zatanna’s therapist takes the form each of her clients would be most comfortable with. That’s one heck of a skill.

Man, I can’t get over how bad the art in Power Girl is now. I mean, maybe I was a bit spoiled by Amanda Conner, but holy crap, Sami Basri is right up there with Damion Scott on the DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WANT list in terms of art. And the plot, well, I already said my piece about Judd Winick taking away one of the only pieces of happiness in comics I got, so I think I’ll just stand down. I love minor characters. So when I saw the false-killing of Kara’s personal assistant/hacker Nicco, I flipped my shit a little bit. Max’s mind-whammy rears its ugly head yet again to keep people from finding out about him. You smug, glorious bastard. And don’t think I’m not talking about Max, too, Winick.

Generation Lost made me cry. Fire almost dying is not a good thing. Fire and Ice are probably my two favorite female heroes at any given time (sorry, Steph, Dinah, Helena, and Jesse), because aside from Wonder Woman, they were the first female heroes that I ever read about. But yeah, that’s the main plot of this issue: Fire was shot, and is now slowly dying. Except, enter Jaime and his magical ability to find healer mummies. Yeah, I don’t know either. End result: Fire makes a full recovery thanks to the magical healer mummy, and Max kidnaps Jaime. Way to end the year on a happy note, you guys!

And that was this week in comics. I’ve got a killer migraine and an insatiable hunger for microwavable yakisoba, let’s see if I can’t solve both in one fell swoop. Catch you later, fight fans! Peace.

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It’s a Damian Wayne sort of day, I think

November 25, 2010 · Filed under Uncategorized · Tagged , , , , , , , , , , ,

Eight books this week, and very few distractions. Am I happy? Hell yes, I am! Shall we begin?

So, Deadpool. What can I say about this guy, and this title, that hasn’t been said a million times? Very little, aside from the fact that this particular issue has Steve Rogers sitting in his lap. That…was pretty boss. I like this title. I like it a lot. Because god damn, it’s Deadpool, and he’s kind of impossible to hate.

So, who hates cliffhangers? Oh, Gotham City Sirens. You tease me with wonderful, wonderful teamups and then you make me cry. I think that this is officially an abusive relationship. But ooh, it hurts so good.

More Deadpool? Man, you’d think I liked the guy or something. But yes, Deadpool Team-Up is a delightful romp into the realm of the absurd, as is basically every Deadpool title ever…but this one has guest stars! Thor and Deadpool band together to fight a naked nerd whose body is being inhabited by a hot demon. Wade admits his attraction to Thor many times. Hilarity ensues. I’m not a huge fan of Thor, no, really this time, but this wasn’t a terrible issue. In fact, it made me laugh a few times.

Oh man, I love Action Comics. Seriously, Lex Luthor is just fun to read about. And then there’s the lead in to the Secret Six crossover that’s coming next issue, and I can’t even tell you how excited I am about that. But I think the real winner of this awesome issue would have to be Jimmy Olsen. Sure, he’s kinda drawn like shit, but hey, he pulled a Power Girl! No, he didn’t suddenly aquire huge…tracts of land. He saved the planet! Yaay! And…Chloe doesn’t give a damn. Y’know, there is no pleasing this girl. Oh, hi badly-drawn Lois Lane! How’re you doing? Find Jimmy a new girlfriend? I smell shenanigans!

Batwoman is an interesting character. No, seriously. I liked her back in 52, but after reading Batwoman: Elegy, I was hooked. It doesn’t hurt that she’s a spunky redhead, and that I can be very biased when it comes to them. Let me summarize this issue in three words: Yay, stalker Bruce! Seriously, this man is more paranoid than the Question on crack. Goes around just following Kate instead of doing his Bat-job. One thing I wasn’t pleased about was the amount of oh hey she’s a lesbian you guys! that showed up in this issue. Seriously, noting that she was released from West Point because she came out, the story of which was shown in Batwoman: Elegy, showing him going undercover in a gay club to watch her hit on girls…we get it, J.H. Williams. Kate Kane likes vagina. Let’s not make a Midnighter out of this. For people unfamiliar with the name and term, here, lemme tell you. The Wildstorm character, Midnighter, is gay. He’s married to a man, they adopted a little girl together. For awhile, Midnighter had his own series, and the writers could not for the life of them go an issue without drawing attention to the fact that he was gay. It got to be sort of a running joke within the fandom, and good lord, did it get old fast. So please, writer or writers of Batwoman. Don’t pull a Midnighter.

Batman and Robin was downright weird this month. Then again, when your villain is revealed to be a woman with a hole through her head, well, weird doesn’t really begin to cover it. Certain observations were made by Damian that I agree with. Now that the mantle of Batman has become sort of like a franchise, every player involved can become their own type of Batman. Dick is the resident HappyBats, and that’s just swell. It makes me wonder, though. How much longer before Bruce takes on a Robin of his own? And will that Robin be Tim? Or Damian?

Speaking of Damian, I’m getting a really familiar vibe off of Teen Titans this month. Back in 03, Kory was all up in a snit because the Robin on her team wasn’t Dick. Now, the current roster is up in arms because the Robin they’re working with isn’t Tim. Team, don’t be afraid to try new things! I’m sure Damian will work out fine, once he’s done being a screw-up. Speaking of unresolved sexual tension, if Damian is still on the team once he hits puberty, he’s going to get such a gigantic crush on Rose. They’re too alike for him not to.

I don’t know how I feel about the Captain Atom issues. He’s never been a character I liked, or could even partially relate to, because of the military thing, but at the same time, he’s probably an essential part of the JLI somehow. Well, he’s strong, at least. Man, Damian has been cropping up everywhere today, huh? In this issue of Generation Lost, he’s 131. Hmm, 131 years old minus the 112 years Nate was in the time stream means that the current Damian is…19?! Well, that isn’t right at all. Someone didn’t do their math right, and I am not pleased.

Well, that was this week in comics. Have a happy Thanksgiving, for those in America, and remember, next week new comics come out on Thursday. I’ll think up something neat to post on Wednesday to make up for it, though. Peace out!

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I just think of a few of my favorite things…

October 28, 2010 · Filed under Uncategorized · Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Compared to the last couple of weeks, this nine-book review is going to seem tiny. Well, all I have to say is, tough tomatoes, I refuse to pick up more Marvel than I have to.

For some reason, Time Masters made no impression on me other than, “Boy, Hal Jordan is a prize douchebagel.”. Anyone else see that? I mean, there he and Booster are, stuck in a cell made of nothing before it turns into a crushing cage, and all Hal does is bitch about how Booster is a famewhore. Yes, Harold “Highball Hal” Jordan calling someone else a thrillseeking famewhore. The irony just rolls off the page in freaking waves. Oh well, only two more issues to go of this…this. I can’t even think of a word to describe it, and fail train is already taken. Moving on.

What was it I was saying about the lovely ladies of the Dark Knight last week? Something about how they’re awesome? After reading this week’s issue of Zatanna, I stand behind that statement even more. I mean, the girl managed to wriggle out of a deal with Mammon, the demon god of wealth and greed, by the skin of her teeth, that’s something to respect. Not to mention how she handles Zach when he goes all teenager-y on her. Yeah, Miss Zatara has worked long and hard to be the best the magical world has to offer, and I think she deserves to be there.

Okay, so the last two The Road Home one-shots are this week. My general opinion? Ehhh. I mean, the Oracle one-shot wasn’t terrible, but it also wasn’t something I’m planning on buying. It was nice to see Hawk and Dove in something other that Brightest Day, though. The final issue in the set, the Ra’s al Ghul one-shot, wasn’t great. It was interesting, don’t get me wrong, and Vicki Vale is officially in on the secret, part of the Batclan, but but just didn’t pull me in like some of the others did.

God damn it, Judd. Do you just hate Tora, is that it? You break up her and Guy, make her a whiny emo bitch, have her get so riled up that she goes completely beserk and turns into a killer icicle, and now you change her backstory completely. Seriously, patricide? Was that really necessary? You know what? Screw you. I’m not letting this into my canon. Tora is awesome, she’s not a killer.

What do you get when you cross Deadpool, the Thing, and professional wrestling? About 30 pages of references I don’t get that make me laugh anyway.

Before I review the Supergirl Annual, I want to tell y’all a little story. Back at the Tate’s tent sale in 07, I found an issue of Legion of Superheroes from the same week that Supergirl died in Crisis on Infinite Earths. In it, Brainy was mourning Kara’s death, and watching clips of her from a thousand years hence. It was that issue that really made me get it. Kara and Brainy were one of those couples that was destined to never end up together, no matter how hard they tried to. A thousand years is a pretty big age gap. And while in my personal canon, Brainy always ends up with Lyle (I grew up reading Reboot, bite me), the tragic love story that is Supergirl and Brainiac 5 will always be one of my favorites. Now, onto the issue. It was pretty good, touching on how Kara had gone to the future once before when she accidentally hopped dimensions as well as timestreams. And then it brought to mind this one little question; how is Kara going to die this time? Her last death wasn’t even a death, it was an erasing. She was one of the big sacrifices made in Crisis on Infinite Earths, though the Supergirl character itself was reborn a few years later. But if this death is recorded within the halls of time, obviously she wasn’t erased again, just killed. So what’s going to happen? How many more years of Supergirl do we have to look forward to? Your guess is as good as mine, Superfans.

So for weeks I’ve been hearing about how this new issue of Teen Titans is gonna rule. New creative team, new team within the book, Bart and Kon are back, Rose is gonna be bringin’ the sexual tension…it was supposed to be awesome. Well, I’ve read the issue.
Damnit, they got me again! I’m not gonna say that that was the best Teen Titans team I’ve ever read (sorry, nothing beats the New Teen Titans lineup by Marv and George for me), but this was definitely the best the Teen Titans have been since 03. Nothing against the 03 lineup, but with Tim, Starfire, and Cyborg out of the way, there’s more of a chance of seeing a Bart storyline, or something focused on Rose, like the Dark Side Club arc was. Here’s hoping that this series doesn’t become something of “The Kon and Cassie show featuring the Teen Titans”, because that would suck. The ending really makes me look forward to the next issue because frankly, Damian just makes everything better.

Oh man oh man oh man. I’m trying not to add emoticons here. I swear to aiesha, I just joygasmed. He wasn’t dead! He was just…having a hallucination of Death as we know her, and arguing his head off! Oh, Lex. I do so love you. The Jimmy Olsen second feature has, wait for it, drunk aliens! No, Supes didn’t go on a bender, the Dalwythians are in town. Who are these strange creatures? Well, they’re partiers from another planet (didn’t Power Girl do that in her second arc?), and they can get drunk on oxygen. Unfortunately, the planets they party on don’t always survive the experience, so in order to save the world, Jimmy has to make Metropolis the most boring place on Earth! Well, Lex isn’t there so for me, check.

That was this week in comics, lords and ladies. I think I’m gonna hurl a little, so, I’m gonna go lie down.

If you’re in Broward (or Dade or West Palm or South Florida in general), take the time this weekend to stop on by Tate’s Comics’ annual Halloween tent sale! Fill up a longbox for $35, and all back issues inside are 50% off! There’s more info on their website, http://www.tatescomics.com , or on their Facebook page. Speaking of Facebook, if you haven’t yet, add Touchof Grey to your friends list, because that’s me! Well, actually, it’s The ToG Blog, but still.

But wait, there’s more! Finished with the Tate’s sale? Still have money jingling around in your wallet? Stop by the grand opening of Florida Super Comics in Davie! Yes, Florida Supercon has a store now, holy crap! For a limited time only, subscribers with FSC save 40% on their comics! Look for me at both sales, dressed as the Flash! This is ToG, reminding you to spay and neuter your children. Peace!

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Better late than not at all!

September 30, 2010 · Filed under Uncategorized · Tagged , , , , , , , ,

My comic shop was shorted all the issues of Gotham City Sirens, thank you, Diamond, so this week is going to be tiny. Oh, wait. What’s that, Marvel? You say you started a new Namor series last month, and the second issue is out today? Well, I guess that settles it. Instead of one serving of GCS, y’all are getting a double scoop of Namor-y goodness!

Let’s get things rolling with the third, sigh, scintilating issue of Time Masters: Vanishing Point. Time Masters, why do I still read you? You’re not entertaining, you don’t tie into The Return of Bruce Wayne in any way except to mention that he’s in the past, and Booster doesn’t have any really good lines. In fact, the only decent parts of you involve tiny!Rip and Poppa Booster. Still, three down, three to go. Let’s just keep chugging along.

Action Comics is really good lately, for some reason. I mean, we’ve gotten to see sexy!Lex, smart!Lex, twisted!Lex, dead!Lex…wait, what was that last one? And who’s that girl? Can it be? Is it she? Unholy crapballs, it’s Death! I know it’s terrible to say that I love death but…I love Death. She’s cute, she’s smart, she’s quirky…and she’s Death. A timeless Gaiman character, soon to be hitting the big screen. Action Comics, I am not disappoint. So, does that mean Lex is dead? Or is he going to pull a Hob Gadling-esque deal with Death? Is he gonna hit on Death? Outsmart her? Oh, I’m a-tingle with the possibilities. And the second-feature is actually interesting! Mainly because it features Jimmy Olsen, who is so uncool, he’s awesome, and a badly-drawn version of Smallville’s Chloe Sullivan. The second-feature storyline is going to be about an exciting week in Jimmy’s life. Hmmmm, I think I can hop aboard this story and ride it home.

Teen Titans is famous for their death-as-a-plot-device issues, and it makes me happy to see that they’ve deviated from that path. Kinda. With the end of the ‘Eclipsed’ storyline, we’re down four Titans: Miss Martian is in a coma, Static is depowered, and Bombshell and Aquagirl are lost at sea. Yeah, Aquagirl is lost at sea. Plot device? Maybe. Oh, and we get to see Cassie and Kon post-coitus. Eeew. Uh, no offense. The second feature was basically like watching a teen drama with magic and demons: betrayal, secrets, and the Big Bad is never really down for the count.

What two things would you never expect to see together? Ice cream and soy sauce? Maybe. A straight guy at a Twilight movie of his own free will? Yeah, that’s pretty unlikely. Namor and vampires?

…

Did I read that right? Namor? Pointy-eared, pale-skinned, speedo-wearing king of the seas and…those fangy bitey folks? Apparently, this new series spins directly out of a pre-existing Xmen plot (Namor’s on the Xmen, now? I thought he liked to stick close to the Fantastic Four?), and Namor’s mission is to find the severed head of Count Dracula which was thrown into the ocean by the, dear lord, sea vampires…who have a vampire squid. No, I’m not making this shit up. Anyway, the first two issues seem pretty sound. We get to see Namor being all kingly, which is nice, and the art is just amazing. I can give this thing another look or two, see how it turns out.

That’ll be all for this week. Sorry that it’s technically going up on Thursday, I had a few personal problems that I had to sort through. See you here next week?

Oh, and a just a reminder to the citizens of Broward County: West Regional Library is having its Manga and Comic Convention on October 9th from one to four, and The ToG Blog has a table! Well, I have a vendor table…but yay, free advertising! Don’t miss it!

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Hey, guess what I did yesterday?!

August 26, 2010 · Filed under Uncategorized · Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Okay, I kinda lied to you last week. This week may not be as epically huge as I lead you to believe. I mean, I’m going over seven titles, but it’s not like the ten-title week I was expecting. Stupid title delays. Anyway, let’s get into it!

Time Masters: Vanishing Point. I didn’t want to read this book. I really didn’t. It’s not very good. It has Booster playing a secondary role as an idiot. And, to top it all off, it has a lot of Rip’s magical inner monologue. The only up points are getting to see Daddy Booster in the opening pages of each issue.

Legion was weird this month. Even dead, Darkseid is still being passed around like a joint at a Crazybones concert, who knew? On the upside, we get to see Garth and Ayla being badass, so that’s cool. I love all the different versions of the Legion, but I’m really beginning to miss Reboot Legion. Maybe it’s because that’s the one I grew up reading, but it just seemed…I dunno. More fun. That’s another thing. Gates has been used several times in the series, but where the hell is Jenni?! Is DC trying to discard all speedsters that aren’t Barry Allen? No, because Jesse Chambers is running around in both JSA titles and Justice League, and Bart Allen has been in the Teen Titans for a few months. Argh, I hate trying to inject logic into comics. Next title!

Hey, remember Superman: Secret Origins? Written by Geoff Johns, drawn by Gary Frank? No? No wonder! Issue five came out almost six months ago. Well, it’s finally over. After a long, long, Flash:Rebirth-esque wait. Final opinion?

Welcome back, Geoff.

Your blatant favoritism towards Hal Jordan makes me hurl. The way you depicted Inertia and the Rogues in Rogue’s Revenge made me curl up in a ball and cry. But this…this is Wonderland quality. This is Stars and S.T.R.I.P.E. quality. A fitting end to a series I thought would never finish. Way to not half-ass it at the finish line, man.

Action Comics was actually pretty good this month. I mean, it’s still starring Lex Luthor, it’s pretty much assured to be at least halfway decent. But a Luthor/Deathstroke fight? And a Superboy second feature? Oh yeah, I’m digging this book. Actually, the second feature seems to be a lead-in to the new Superboy series starting in November. Am I the only one hoping for a cameo from Rex and Roxie Leech? Yes? Aw, shoot.

I love Gotham City Sirens for many reasons. The consistantly good writing. The consistantly good art. The intriguing covers that sometimes border on fetishist (covers 3-5 and the recent cover 15 show that quite well) and religious iconoclasm (easily the Pieta remake on cover 13). But what I love most about this book is that above all, it’s about three women whose binding interest was once crime, and now they’re genuinely friends. Harley’s little speech to Ivy after she’s been beaten nearly to death just got to me. Selina and Harley tried to reason with Ivy when they got to her, while most other vigilantes would simply focus on taking her out. I’m so glad this book exists, and I eagerly await the next story a- The return of Talia al Ghul?! Oh crap. How are you going to steer us through the storm of angst and daddy issues that come floating along with Talia’s every step, Tony? I guess we’ll just have to wait and see.

New Generation Lost! Man, this issue had everything. Political speeches! Daring escapes! A possible love connection forming between Gavril and Bea! Booster being smart! Bea…cursing for no reason! Tora…whining like a bitch. Sigh, the second Giffen-free issue. I hope this doesn’t become a trend But there is one little element that’s conspicuously missing from this book, and that would be Max Lord himself. Seriously, we don’t see hide or hair of him until the very last page. Is this a lead-in to some answers? Why are his mind-control powers deadly when used on one person at a time, but he was able to make the entire world forget about him with extinguishing the human race? Did he actually kill the woman who made Power Girl’s company bankrupt? When are you guys going to stop fucking around and reveal that Ted is secretly alive? The answers (?) next issue! Hopefully!

Teen Titans was…weird this month. Now I love the Teen Titans. I do. But…the new scientist chick they have in Titans Tower watched Miss Martian kill her beloved husband while being controlled by the Wyld, then did some kind of memory-wipe psychic whammy on M’gann so that she doesn’t remember the fight? What, does this lady have instant-retcon powers or something? Can I get some sort of an explanation, DC? I mean, there were other things in this issue that bugged me (Wyld considers Raven its mom? M’gann can astral project now? Kon and Cassie made out in the middle of a crisis why?), but that kind of took the cake. And the second feature wasn’t much better. I’m still pissed that Zach’s fondest wish was to be married to his never-before-mentioned dead girlfriend. At least Eddie got a mention, sort of. Zach, you don’t get to talk about Eddie. You were a horrible boyfriend, not even showing up to his funeral. I WENT THROUGH THAT ISSUE TEN TIMES. You weren’t in it. Oh well, at least Lori isn’t acting like a bitch anymore. She plays nice with the rest of the group just in time for an express trip into hell, fun!

And that’s your week in comics. Well, that’s my week in comics. Next week should be a big one. Hopefully. Because if Flash is pushed back one more week, I’m gonna snap. Peace out, you guys.

BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE!

As of yesterday, The ToG Blog has officially gotten onto Facebook! Instead of waiting until Wednesdays to update you all on the little things that are going on in the comic world, I’ll be able to fill you in instantly with links, pictures, and other interesting tidbits to make your day. AND THAT’S NOT ALL! You can follow me personally on Twitter! touchofgrey37 I try to follow all the major writers and artists on Twitter, so you’re bound to see some interesting retweets!

http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#!/touchofgrey37

http://twitter.com/touchofgrey37

Well, that’s about enough network pandering. Peace out, you guys! I think I smell broccoli cooking, yum.

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Come on in, the Comics are Fine!

May 26, 2010 · Filed under Uncategorized · Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Gonna be switching comic stores in a week, darlings, so the book load may suffer a bit for a while. But that is for later. For now, we’ve got ten books to address, and boy do I hope they don’t suck.

Gotham City Sirens is officially a year old! Twelve issues in, and I’m still as hooked as I was at issue one. The open-ended plot hole from the Blackest Night: Catwoman issue is finally acknowledged! Maggie Kyle has completely flipped her shit, ladies and gentlemen. She’s convinced that there’s a demon is the Catwoman (please hold all porn title jokes), and that she alone can save her. It’ll be sister vs. Sister in a battle for Selina’s very soul!

This month, Kara and Atlee take a little homoerotic trip through Atlee’s home city. The fanboys are gonna freak when they get a look at their spa-wear. A bit of “BFF bonding” later, Atlee takes Kara to meet her parents. Yeah, I really hope I’m not the only one getting the feeling that Atlee is taking Peeg through the standard boyfriend hoops. Skip a bit further into the issue and lo and behold, Vartox is back! To, uh, harass Kara some more, apparently. The issue ends with yet another blast from the past as the Vega 9 girls invest in Starrware and Kara’s employees throw her a party. Fun fact: there is nothing nerdier than sipping champagne from beakers.

Gonna read Green Lantern now. I kinda feel like dropping this title because it’s been kinda dull and- oh. THE RAGE KITTY RETURNS! Okay, I may not be too keen on the emotional spectrum idea, but any Corps that inducts felines made of pure hate is good in my book. The entities of the emotional spectrum have names now, bby the way. I myself am partial to Adara the Hope and Proselyte the Comassionpus. The thing looks like an octopus, guys. I’m gonna be calling it the Compassionpus from now on. And oh my, someone seems to be capturing entities. Looks like we’ve stumbled into our next story arc! Also, it looks like Atrocious has a crush on Mera. This…properly executed, this could end up being hilarious. And finally- wait, Lobo?! What the heck is he doing here? Okay, I’m intrigued. Green Lantern, you’re off the chopping block for now.

Ganthet is awesome. Seriously, read Green Lantern Corps. The guy renounced his Guardian status to become a Green Lantern, the forged his own power ring. Badassery is flowing off of him in waves. In other news, joining the Alpha Lanterns no longer seems to be a choice. God rest ye poor souls of justice.

And Roy too seems to have flipped! I mean, not that I blame him. But, fighting Cheshire with a stapler?! Royboy, you can do better. And then there was bondage! And then…sex. Or not. Bwahaha, cockblocked by grief. Oh. Oh god. Oh, no, baby. Don’t fall off the wagon. Nonono…don’t, god, Roy. What have you done to yourself? What have you done to your friend? I, I don’t think I can read this anymore.

(please note that the above review was written as I read the comic. This is a reaction review at best, and I apologize.)

The art in The Return of Bruce Wayne really sucked this month. At one point, Booster has a horse face. I am not pleased. But the story was pretty good. Pick it up, boys and girls, you won’t be disappointed.

I was really excited for Teen Titans this month. Not the main story, but the second feature. Zachary Zatara is going to be in comics again! I danced with joy. But will the actual story live up to expectations? “Cyborg moves in mysterious ways”. I snorted. I did. Ask anyone. And Gar? Please. Shut the hell up about Raven. We get it, she’s priority-1 for you. Now shut up. Oh, and it looks like Cassie’s pulling the “I’m the leader” card regarding her massive case of PMS. Stress on, stressy. Ooh, now Kon and Lorena are getting all chummy. Man, does everyone on this team have PMS this month? All the chicks seemed to be synched up. Now, before anyone emails me about being sexist, stop. I’m a girl. I get PMS. Ocassionally, my best friend and I synch up for the ultimate in bitchery. And now back to our scheduled programming. Juust in time for the second feature, excellent. Oh, Zat. I know why you’re miserable. You miss Eddie. Just let it out, hon. Ooh, looks like he’s gonna get his wish, too! God, I love this second feature more than I love the actual comic.

Ah, Justice League: Generation Lost. Let’s hope that it won’t be like last wee-

“Ted Kord committed suicide.”

Rrrgh. NERD RAGE. MAAAAAAAX! I swear, I’m nerdraging so hard right now, I’m surprised that there isn’t a red ring on this finger. ARGH. AND HE BROKE UP GUY AND ICE?!

…

Get my coat and hat, I’m going hunting.

Oh, wait. He’s leaving Booster alone. So far. And then comes the best damn comic speech I’ve ever read. Oh Booster, I love you so.

OH MY GOD IN HEAVEN ABOVE

TED MAY BE ALIVE

AND MONITORING THE JLI

HOLY BALLS

I’ll be in my bunk, you guys. Until next week, this is ToG, signing out. Peace.

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