Posts tagged Gen 13

I miss your ginger hair and the way you used to stab me.

Ten books, including one I’d thought was cancelled and two that it’s gonna pain me to read. Well, let’s get this over with.

Fail train, why are you always finding new ways to underwhelm me? I mean, look at this first page. The picture! It’s made of water! Ooooh! Geoff Johns, are you some kind of sorcerer?! /sarcasm. So, I just noticed, DC. You don’t really like young black heroes, do you? Or at least, you don’t like having them in large quantities. Last Teen Titans storyline, you effectively got rid of iconic Milestone character Static by depowering him, and as I don’t follow Justice Society, only JSA All-Stars (I go to wherever Cyclone is, thank you), it’s been awhile since I’ve seen Lightning or Jakeem Thunder in a story. And now we have the rise of Aqualad into prominent storylines, plus his inclusion in the animated show…Dan, listen to me. Listen closely. It’s not racial equality if you’ve only got one of every other race amid a horde of white guys. Oh look, Black Lantern Firestorm can pick up the white lantern. This character wouldn’t be half as annoying if he didn’t speak like a frat boy circa 1997. Huh, so Mera isn’t Jackson’s mom? Good to know. I guess it explains a couple of things, too. But wait a minute, if Black Manta is Jackson’s biological father, then who’s the dude in the rubber raft with his mom? Unless…no, not rape baby! Really? Really, Geoff?! That’s only the most cliched character background ever. Sorry, man, but I think you may have finally lost it. Aaand then the kid throws a tantrum and we get a mini-episode of My Crappy Life from Aquaman. I will say one thing in praise of the artist. For a shitty story, you sure ended it on one hell of a splash shot. Literally. As he is on a wave-crashed rock. Oh wait, book isn’t over? Three pages of Firestorm left?

Goddamnit, fail train. Well, end of story. End of company. It’s all over. Two idiot kids destroyed the universe because they couldn’t stop arguing. See this, DC? It’s my middle finger. Sit on it and rotate.

Oh, Emerald Warriors. I swear, sometimes, when the night is darkest and the comics suck the most, only you can pull me back into a good mood. I made the mistake of glancing through Time Masters directly after reading Brightest Day, and my rage was so palpable, I was practically spitting blood. So I decided to do something to calm myself down and picked up a bit of Gardnery goodness. It wasn’t a particularly happy issue, what with the deaths of several Green Lantern recent grads, but it was a good way to showcase just how much of a softie Kilowog is when it comes to his students. Kilowog was the drill instructor for the Green Lantern Corps for many years. He’s trained all the Green Lanterns from Earth as well as, I’m assuming, Sinestro, and he’s damn good at his job. But it comes at a price. He’s connected to every rookie he teaches, because it is his responsibility to teach them everything that they need to survive. And with the events of the last three years or so, he’s been seeing a lot of his kids bite the big one. It’s pretty easy for me to see past the main plotline (Guy keeping himself and several unwanted others busy so that he doesn’t go completely Red and kill his best friend/bro, a prophecy spelled out in the red blood weeks before he started this jaunt) and into the emotional subtilities. Peter J. Tomasi is another GL writer that I hope sticks around for awhile, if only because he’s so good at tapping into the cores of the beings of those he writes. Rock on, PJT.

Does no one remember Hunter Zoloman exists? Is that it? I’m sorry, I’m jumping the gun here, let me backtrack. So the two evil magic people have been defeated, we get to see the testing of the atom bomb, I get a flashback to something evil!Skeets said during 52 (“and what do you think my outer shell was made off, burned off a corpse in a shallow grave..?”), daddy Booster and MiniRip are adorable, some secondary plotline with Supernova (who is probably older Booster), and then this! Okay, so, Professor Zoom is a time traveler. I get this. But Zoom exists outside of the damn time stream! So, logically, shouldn’t more people run into Zoloman than Thawne? It’s just another case of a good legacy character being completely discarded now that the original is back in action.

Gen 13 is an odd book for me. I’d never read a single issue before Wildstorm got the rights to it, and the first time I read the Wildstorm book was when I picked up the first two trades featuring the Gail Simone-penned issues. But I liked it enough to pick it up in comic form, and now it’s approaching 40 issues. Since I’ve started reading, the team has splintered, come back together, gained new members, had a love triangle, had a lesbian love triangle, and survived the end of the world. Since issue one, Burnout has been my favorite character. And now he’s radioactive and leaving. A new arc starts next month. I don’t know if I’ll be reading it.

Latest issue of the main Batman series summary: tl;dr, Riddler is evil again, Enigma gets a reintroduction and hopefully a backstory.

See, I’ve realized something. With a series like Velocity, I’m willing to wait months for the kind of quality they put out. Rocafort and Gho are a stunning art team, and holy shit, Ron Marz. Even your terrible puns that Carin thinks, but doesn’t say out loud, are precious. But why would you end it like that? On a cliffhanger?! Oh, and surprise, apparently this isn’t an ongoing, it’s just another mini. One issue from over. Everybody say it with me now, FRAG!

Supergirl #59: The issue in which Cat Grant wasn’t a heinous bitch for once. So, Winslow Schott, the Toyman, has a son. The fact that someone would actually breed with DC’s number one pedo disturbs me beyond all reason. And then there’s the fact that we never see her face. Seems like it’ll come up in later issues, so I’ll keep my eyes peeled. But yes, with the arrival of the Dollmaker, DC has a new Crazy Ginger on its hands, and this one is like, twelve. Hm, with the reintroduction of Enigma in Batman, Velocity, and the Death of Oracle storyline starting up in Birds of Prey, I think it would be a safe gamble to officially declare this Ginger Week. I wonder if Dollmaker could ever be considered an enemy for Robin, because that would be a pretty awesome fight. Think about it. If Pyg and his Dollotrons should team up with Dollmaker and his “friends”, Robin would be royally boned. Unless he brings his BFF Abuse into the fray, then he may stand a chance. No, I’m not over that. How did I get from talking about Supergirl to talking about Robin? Obviously, I am some kind of sorcerer. Anyway, long story short, Cat Grant punches out a preteen, Christmas is saved. God bless us everyone.

So, here we are once again. I don’t like reading the main, Johns-penned Green Lantern series. He is entirely too obsessed with making Hal Jordan look like some kind of comic book Messiah, which is ridiculous. Everyone knows that comic book Jesus is clearly Batman. But I read the book anyway. because I greatly enjoy the parts of it where Hal is not present. I like Saint Walker. I like Atrocious. To an extent, I even like Sinestro. Sadly, as the main focus of this issue is Parallax taking over Barry Allen, most of the issue is their interaction. And really, even though I know he doesn’t mean to do it, I don’t think I’ve seen a more poignant love letter from Hal to Barry outside of fanfiction…ever. “He’s my best friend, Parallax! Take me instead! You know you want me! Here, I’ll help you out by hanging myself on this big ol’ cross…”

…Una Nemo called Batman gay. This is the greatest day of my life. Am I dead? Is this heaven? Holy shit. I’m not going to lie and say I’ve never been referred to as a ‘crazy girlfriend’, but god damn. Absence makes every psycho ex out there look like a saint. She’s running around, cutting off bits of the women Bruce Wayne banged because she wants him to miss her. This is not a good way to make the heart grow fonder, Absence.

I’ve been looking forward to the “Death of Oracle” storyline for a while now, and this first chapter really delivers. Gotta say, nothing says ‘lady-bonding’ like an outing to a strip club. Zinda is probably my favorite Bird, on attitude alone. “But, but he’s a cowboy!” That girl will kick your ass and make you like it, bless her. Gail, you’ve done well.

That’s this week in comics, ladies and gents. I seem to desperately require some hot chocolate, so I’m gonna go do that now. The rest of you in more Northern climates, I hope you’re staying warm! This is ToG signing out. Peace.


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If this week got any bigger, I’d have to start cracking jokes

Is this a big week? Does the pope have a balcony? Fourteen books this time around, god help me. Well, let’s just jump right in.

The fail train rides again! Actually, and I’ll deny saying it later, this week wasn’t terrible. With the exception of the Firestorm pages, this issue combined the few things I like about Brightest Day. The J’onn story has been keeping me on the edge of my seat, and it really came to a head now that he’s confronted psycho Martian chick, D’kay D’razz. She’s the exact meaning of the term mindfuck and I can’t believe I’m saying this, but check out the issue yourself for the twist of all twists the last five pages. A brick was shat.

What is it about the Bat-women that rocks so hard? Of the Bruce Wayne: The Road Home one-shots that have come out so far, only Batgirl and Catwoman have been truly excellent. I’m not a Batfan, really I’m not, but something about the Dark Knight’s leading ladies always reels me in. You go, girls. You go.

On the opposite side of the spectrum is the Commissioner Gordon one-shot. Jim has never been one of my favorite Bat-guys, but he’s pretty badass for a powerless man in his 50’s. Even though the issue was written by Adam ‘Sonuva’ Beechen, I dug it. Go ahead and check it out, if you’ve got the time to spare.

Legion of Superheroes is finally getting good for me. I think it was all the Green Lantern stuff and Earth Man-centric issues that were spoiling it for me. Legion has always been about having a large, rotating cast of characters, not fixating on just one or two. Anyway, rant over. I’m gonna call this issue “couples a-go-go”, because everyone is making out. Seriously, this issue was full of romance. Shady and Earth Man, Ultra Boy and Phantom Girl, Gim and Yera, Garth and Imra, Ayla and Salu…no, seriously. It was a cute nod to the Pre-Crisis Legion stories where they were lovers. Hopefully this is canon again, the Legion needs more lesbians.

I don’t normally pick up Superman/Batman. I mean, I get backissues from conventions and tent sales, and my boyfriend buys the trades, but I don’t follow it regularly. I may have to, though, if all the issues are as funny and interesting as #77 was. Any Supergirl/Robin teamup is worth picking up, but a Kara/Damian teamup? Oh, yes please. My only complaint is that he never once calls her fat. He calls her an alien constantly, though, in true Dami fashion. I love that kid.

Justice League is growing on me again. I haven’t read anything from the main JL series since Cry For Justice (BOOOOOOOO), but since starting last month, I’m cursing the fact that I can’t seem to put it down. The Crime Syndicate of Amerika is back, y’all! Also, Tangent Earth Green Lantern makes an appearance. I’m telling you, I’m getting some heavy JLA-esque vibes from this current arc. I hope I’m wrong, because that arc of the old JLA series sucked. This issue, while text-heavy like whoa, was actually pretty readable. Let’s hope this trend continues.

I haven’t followed Gen13 for two issues now…so what the hell happened?! Last time I checked in with them, the Gens were in, like, the frozen wastelands, and Roxy and Grunge were going into space. I’m totally confused. Ah, well. Next weekend is the tent sale at Tate’s, and backissues that aren’t under the tent are half off inside the store. I’ll go grab them if I can’t find them outside, and hopefully clear up my confusion.

Is it just me, or are the Teen Titans stories the only decent ones in the Holiday Specials that DC puts out? Unless you plan on spending $5 for one story, I suggest skipping it.

Reading a Grant Morrison book is a double-edged sword. On one hand, it could be the best thing you’ve ever read. On the other hand, it could be so completely nonsensical that your head does a 360-spin trying to keep up. I think the entire latest issue of Batman and Robin was just a lead up to the fact that Dr. Thomas Wayne is actually, wait for it, Dr. Tommy Elliot. Big shocker, right? Tommy is a notorious face-stealer, and they share the same name, so…ahem. Moving on,

Remember how I said that Bat-ladies could do no wrong? Well, I feel the opposite for Superman’s supporting female cast. Lana Lang is a lovestruck bimbo, Cat Grant is a self-possessed bitch, Supergirl is the new DCU emo kid, Power Girl is being written by Judd Winick (WINIIIIIIIIICK), Lois Lane spent 50 years trying to get Superman to marry her…I swear, the only decent female character that’s come out of the Supercast recently is Bizarrogirl. And maybe Mercy Graves, who was badass in the Infinity Inc series post-52. If there is one thing I can say about this issue of Supergirl, it’s that it was drawn incredible well. The page comparing Supergirl and Bizarrogirl was superb. And that last page, with Cat Grant? Mascara tracks have never looked so good.

Power Girl confuses me. It looks like Judd Winick (WINIIIIIIIIICK) has been taking banter cues from Keith Giffen, but aside from that…is Peeg hitting on her new info man Nicco? What’s with the lady-reveal on the last page? Seriously, who the hell is she. Looks kinda like a badly-drawn Atlee, except she’s supposed to be a Kryptonian. I’m gonna write this issue off as “Confusing as Hell” and call it a day, mmkay?

Is there anything better than seeing someone slug Sinestro? In a Green Lantern series, no. In Green Lantern Corps, maybe. In a final page splash shot? You bet your ass there isn’t. I love Green Lantern Corps. Tony Bedard is honestly one of the coolest comic writers I’ve ever met, if not one of the best comic writers DC employs (sorry, Gail). His natural element seems to be space, because he was obviously born there. Don’t believe me? No one but a star-traveller could write space stories this well, I’m convinced. This new arc is going to be focused around Soranik and Kyle (didn’t I predict that?), and the weaponers of Qward. Looks promising, I can dig it.

Okay, so, lemme get this straight. The Steve Rogers that invited Deadpool to be part of his team last issue was an imperfect clone built by a man named Doctor Bong?! Seriously?! Deadpool, you have a terrible taste in friends. Next issue.

Hey, some of you may have heard of this comic-turned-movie from a couple years ago? About a kid that made himself into a superhero in a setting like the world we live in? I think it was called Kick-Ass? I have the first issue of the second series in my hands. Care to come along for the ride? Two words for you: Justice Forever. What is it, you ask? A TV show? A comic series? No, my friends. It’s the main plot of the new Kick-Ass series, the superteam he joins. Yes, an honest to god superteam. I’m going to stand up in a minute, and I won’t be surprised at all if I find a brick on my chair.

Well, that’s this week in comics, ladies and gents. I myself have a date with Gaia Online’s Exchange forum. Hope to see you all back here next week, same time, same place. Peace.

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Comics Review!

This week, although my wallet wept, I still picked up my comics. I’m beginning to think it may not be worth it.

Titans, what the hell happened? After the last arc, I knew there’d have to be a “cooldown” issue, but c’mon! It was 25 pages of blah! You’ve got until next month to shape up, or I’m dropping you. And could the hinting about where Jericho is hiding be any more blatant? Geez.

Gen 13, while I’m not expecting the awesomeness of the previous “15 Minutes” arc (the world having ended, and all), please try a little harder. Caitlin kissing Bobby, causing Sarah to take a hike, was not touched on at all. No one even wondered where she was all issue! The main focus seemed to be Eddie surviving the half-pike (or whatever it is) of death, finding out where the stoner skaters were getting their food (PEOPLE! The soup is made of PEOPLE!), and finally, the cliffhanger that was Eddie being pushed into the giant cooking vat. If he does die, I’ll be sad to see him go.

Booster Gold, stop where you are right this second! Michelle is not allowed to go emo over the fact that she’s not supposed to be alive! Knock it off with the depress-o-fest, or I’m bringing in the hoses! Though, at least we now know why Rip didn’t try that hard to save Ted. He knew that if Ted was still in the picture, Booster would never get married, and he would never be born.

Green Arrow/Black Canary is starting to bug me. Since the departure of Mia and Connor, Ollie and Dinah have been riding the fast train to splitsville. I mean, I hope they work out whatever they’re going through, but I still think we may be seeing a quickie divorce in the near future.

Thank God for R.E.B.E.L.S.. Seriously. Brainiac on Brainiac snark is so wonderful, I can’t even tell you. This may become my favorite monthly series, even if it’s sort of turning into a sort of  Legion of Superheroes of the past. Starhaven? Oh, pleeeeease tell me he’ll be off to Durla or Naltor next. And if anyone in DC is reading this blog, PUT LOBO IN R.E.B.E.L.S.! PUT LOBO IN R.E.B.E.L.S.! PUT LOBO IN R.E.B.E.L.S.!

In sadder news (to me, at least) Frank Quitely seems to be working on Batman now, if this week’s DC Nation is any indication. This is the man who made Apollo (of The Authority) hideously ugly. He will be drawing the batboys, and I do not like how his Robin looks almost as much as I don’t want to think of what he might be doing to Dick. God help us all.

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