Posts tagged Power Girl

As I walk into the valley of the shadow of Reboot…

Every book I’m looking at this week is a final issue. Every single one. The end of the second to last wave of Flashpoint minis, the end of the Super books, the space titles, the end of Zatanna. I feel very sad, so I may as well get on with it.

As always, the Flashpoint titles will be reviewed as one.
Wonder Woman and the Furies sucked. For one thing, this issue should have been put out before the last issue of the Emperor Aquaman mini, for better continuity flow. For another thing, it just sucked. The Orm/Penthesilea thing came out of fucking nowhere. Well, that’s not true. Penny has been a traitor to the Amazons since issue #1 of WW&tF, but the fact that they’ve apparently been working together to topple the leadership of their respective family members so that they could…what? Also have a political marriage? This is the pot calling the kettle a bad queen, Penny.
What’s with the Flashpoint minis ending horribly? I mean, really now. Legion of Doom had a strong first issue, a pretty good second issue…and now this ending is ridiculous. Puns? Beating Cyborg with his own arm? Mick, why are you doing this to me? At least the last two pages are pretty badass.
Maybe I spoke too soon. Abin Sur the Green Lantern kicked ass! Seriously this mini rocked. The art was fantastic, the storyline was just amazing, and the twist at the end, while sort of predictable, was still really cool how it was pulled off. I give this mini a 5/5 for its trouble.
We now return you to your scheduled programming.

The end of, yet another, Legion series. I should be used to this by now. Hm, according to the cover, someone is going to die. My guess, Earth Man. Seriously, redeem ’em, then off ’em, that’s the Legion way. Let’s see. Exposition, exposition, your powers combined I am Captain Planet annnnnd…I was right! I love being right. But I didn’t like this series. I love the Legion of Superheroes, but I loved my Legion, the first Reboot Legion, the best. Sorry, Paul Levitz.

The final issue of Green Lantern Corps was sort of anticlimactic, yet fitting. Only thing I’m asking, why the hell was Scott Kolins the writer for the final issue? Was Tony Bedard on holiday? Anyway, this issue focused on the other thousand or so members of the Corps that no one ever pays attention to because of those damn attention-whoring Earthmen. It wasn’t a bad issue, tell the truth, but it also wasn’t that great. Maybe I’m just biased because I love Tony Bedard so much and prefer Scott Kolins on pencils, I dunno. Ah well. Goodbye, Green Lantern Corps v.2. You were pretty kickass.

Wow, way to leave a giant gaping hole in a story, Superboy. So, we’re never going to find out what the hell was up with Psion? Fantastic. You know what, I’m sorry, but I just couldn’t really pay attention to the exposition against the background of terrible art.

The end of Supergirl was actually pretty cute. Professor Ivo is always a good villain to put against a Super, and this time was no exception. I’m glad to see that the whole ‘secret identity’ thing is still a foreign concept to Kara. Seriously, she sucks at this. I wonder how that conversation went after she put him back on the ground. “Magic my ass! You’re Supergirl!” “Whoops…” I’m going to miss this version of Supergirl, I was really starting to like her.

Why, why why will you not exist in the reboot, Peeg? This issue, the final issue, shows all the reasons she should still be around. Power Girl managed to save the day three times in under a minute, why is she being erased?! Augh, I’m getting angry. Power Girl, you had a fantastic run. I’ll probably miss you most of all.

Why did the final issue of Zatanna have to be written by Adam Beechen? It’s just not right. That being said, it wasn’t a bad issue. It was basically a bunch of filler that made me feel like I should be reading it to the tune of the Benny Hill theme. Here, DC, just take my heart and rip it to pieces. Saves me the trouble of doing it myself.

That was this week in comics, you guys. I just…I’m entering full-on depression mode. I’m going to get something to go home now and roll around on my issues of Impulse and Young Justice until I feel better.


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The girls are back! For another month or so!

Nine books this time around, geez. I think my wallet may actually be looking forward to the September Reboot. Oh, and speaking of which, be sure to pick up the FREE Reboot primer from your LCS this week! Get the skinny on the new 52, and see a sneak peek of the new Justice League! And then promptly come online and start bitching about it.

As always, Flashpoint is going to be one massive paragraph. Hold onto your hippogriffs, folks.
Wonder Woman and the Furies is one of those titles that just makes me sad. Deception across the board, war-mongering…it’s just a book I won’t buy on principle.
So, in no universe is Dick Grayson allowed to have parents. I get it, I get it. Deadman is still a douche, Count Vertigo is a good guy, hmph. If this issue ends with Dick putting on that fucking helmet, I’m going to vomit at the predictability of it all. Oh. Oh my. Holy balls. Okay, there are things I love about Flashpoint, and things I hate about Flashpoint. And Kory’s design? That’s one for the LOVE side. The costume looks impractical as hell, but I’ve always been a sucker for things that couldn’t possibly exist in real life. And her gauntlets. And her HAIR. God, I bet it’s all just painted on.
Legion of Doom is fun. It’s a villain book, plain and simple. There are familiar faces, but no real good guys. There is gruesome death, bloody executions between inmates in plain sight. And it starts Mick Rory, Heat Wave. You can bet your bottom dollar that I enjoy this book. If you haven’t picked it up yet, I do recommend it.
We now return you to your scheduled programming.

Wasn’t too fond of this month’s issue of Zatanna. Oh, no wonder, Paul Dini wasn’t writing. No offense to you, Derek Fridolfs, but Paul kinda has me spoiled when it comes to the Mistress of Magic. And when you make your one-shot issue about witch hunters and assassination attempts, well, at least the art was good. And apparently, Zee is a Doctor Who fan. Did any of you catch that scarf?

I’m only reading Legion of Superheroes for Yildiray Cinar’s art. I’m sorry, Paul Levitz, but this bad habit you have of turning an entire issue into a fight scene is just grating on me. Still, ooh, look at all the pretty, pretty ladies and gents.

So last time on Supergirl, Kara went to school to solve a mystery (again). This time, she’s compromised her secret identity after a fellow student gets kidnapped (again). And the villain of this arc, fresh off his spot in Power Girl, is , yes, Professor Ivo. The art is alright, the writing is engaging, so why do I keep feeling like I’ve read this story before?

This month’s Power Girl is so obviously for the fans. The female fans, at least. Every comic girl dreams of being a superhero at least once in her life and in this issue, a few girls actually get to live the dream. I’d like to think that superhero conventions where real superheroes show up happen in the DCU. Superman and Superboy probably love going to those things. I’m going to miss this book, it had a good run.

I’ve got a series of complaints to lodge with the two-shot War of the Green Lanterns epilogue. First off, this art is terrible. Everyone has foot-face syndrome. Okay, with that bit of bitchery out of the way, I’m just going to come right out and say it. What the fuck, you guys? No, seriously, what the fuck? The Guardians going all nuts over Hal being able to kill Krona, not immediately stripping Sinestro of his ring, Kilowog quitting…what’s going on here? And then there’s the only really good scene in the issue, the scene where Saint Walker constructs a glowing blue Sayd for Ganthet as he heals himself subconciously. That was really sweet, and will hopefully lead to a reunion.

To call Gates of Gotham an intriguing book is an understatement. It’s a mystery steepled in the history of Gotham City itself. The four families of old Gotham, Wayne, Elliot, Cobblepot, and Kane, are as deeply engrained into the Batman mythos as they are in the memories of the readers. This issue, we learn of the tragedies of years past, and how they fit into the present. It’s mostly talk with very little heavy action, but it’s good nonetheless.

That’s this week in comics, and about the end of my battery life. I’ve got an appointment with the latest Harry Potter movie, again, so this is where I take my leave. Hope to see you all again next week, same place, vaguely the same time.

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My apologies for the late hour of posting. Or is it early now?

Eleven books this week, what is this, the second week of the month? DC, you’re killing me here.

Abin Sur’s one-shot was actually pretty good. Got to see Amanda Waller back when she, er, had a soul? I dunno how else to put it.

I’m going to address all the Flashpoint books as one again, to save time and space.
Man, Grodd is a total bitch in this. A big baby seeking attention. Fuck this guy. He’s like Superbitch Prime in a gorilla’s body. What oh no he did NOT just kill Catman. Thank god this is just a one-shot. I could not put up with this shit for three issues.
Okay, so, the basic point of Wonder Woman and the Furies is that everyone wants to off Diana, even her own people. She was legitimately in…love? With Arthur. She seemed to have a good bit of affection for him, at least. I wonder how Mera fits into this.
And then there was the Legion of Doom. It’s a Heatwave book. Sweet god in heaven, I’m in a world where there is a Captain Cold book and a Heatwave book running at the same time. Is, is this real life? Is this just fantasy? And it’s actually pretty good. I just love how the jail is located in the Legion of Doom building. Ooh, Cluemaster? Does that mean that Steph exists in this universe? Holy fuck Plastic Man just came out of Cluemaster’s mouth?! Holy shit. Yeah, I’m reading this for as long as it’s coming out because this is crazy awesome.
The Deadman and the Flying Graysons book just totally endears me to Boston Brand’s character. Please, recognize the sarcasm in my tone here. I hated Deadman during Birghtest Day, I never really liked him beforehand, and right now? Fuck, I just want to strangle this dork. He’s a total jerk to Dick, just because Dick wants to perform with his folks instead of going off and performing on his own. Hmm, Doctor Fate and the helmet remember the world before the change, how interesting. I actually want to see how that develops.
I give the Flashpoint books this week a 6 of 10. Legion of Doom and the Wonder Woman book knock it out of the park, while the Grodd and Deadman books kind of fall flat. And now onto our regular programming!

How is this book getting cancelled?! Batgirl is, quite frankly, one of the most consistently entertaining books DC puts out. Damn you, reboot! In this issue, Steph travels to England and teams up with Squire to save the Greenwich Mean (which is, apparently, a magic sword. Okay.), and all of this is a precursor to Steph’s Batman Inc adventure later this month. Oh, Squire, you made my heart turn over. “You are most certainly not a sidekick.” You tell them, girl.

Still not touching this storyline. Nice to see the two-issue Power Girl arc had a happy ending, though.

Kara herself put it best when she said, “First Harvard, now Stanhope.” Sending Supergirl off to college seems to be a staple of her secret identity nowadays, which I find a bit odd. Isn’t she supposed to be, um, sixteen? Or is she the opposite of Tim Drake and aging rapidly? DC, if you’re going to set an age standard on your sidekick characters, make it consistent, would you? Anyway, to the storyline. In this first issue of three, Professor Ivo is stealing genius orphan kids from colleges around the country for…some reason. The plot must be in the next issue. Oh, and of course Kara meets a boy. And since later issue covers show him all Snow White style, he is obviously set to be the arc’s love interest. And since this is Supergirl, he’s either going to die or be evil in the end. I know I side-eye this series pretty hard for being predictable, so I really hope this arc proves me wrong. Supergirl, I want to love you, but you’re just making it so hard.

I only have one thing to say about this Professor Li plot: FINALLY. Fourteen goddamn issues of her randomly showing up, then vanishing again only to show up later to be mysterious. Augh, and of course they cut to the other storyline. Paul, Paul, I’m in actual physical pain over this. Seriously, fuck everything else in this issue, what’s up with Professor Li? Tell me.
…so that’s it? She’s from one of the three worlds, the world of Wisdom, that Saturn Queen and her cronies seek to destroy? Oh, fuck that, worst reveal ever.

Tiny Titans is such a cute book, and this month is focused on my favorite kind of heroes, speedsters! Sorry, but as soon as I saw my Thad on the cover, I knew I had to not only read this issue, but buy it as well. Hopefully the coming Reboot won’t put the kibosh on the Johnny DC titles, because I’d be sad to see Tiny Titans go.

Damnit, Raven, are you still on this?! Okay, lemme back up a bit. This issue of Teen Titans is absolutely saturated with Indian mythologies, and I love it. Kiran is definitely an interesting, compelling character. Anyway, Gar pushes his powers to the limit, I suppose, assuming the form of a great ape, a la the monkey king Hanuman, and breaks the captured Titans out of Rankor’s cages. Can I just say right now that I’m sick of these Subway comic ads making a comic look longer than it actually is? This issue ended on a cliffhanger with Kiran preparing to fight Rankor. Oh, I hope she shows up in the reboot, I’ll miss her if she doesn’t.

I know I’ve been mentioning the reboot a lot, but it’s just because I’m worried. We’re going to lose a lot of characters, and even more are going to change drastically. I’m afraid that by September, I’ll be completely out of touch with my favorite characters. I pride myself on knowing the histories attached to the characters I write about, what’s going to happen when everything changes? Aah, ignore me. I’m just being crazy.

By the way, I apologize for the delay, but I didn’t actually get to my LCS until nearly 9 pm due to car issues. Flay me with your words, loyal readers, I deserve it for breaking deadline. Just…don’t make me lick a doorway, okay? Same place next week, just an earlier time, honest. Peace be with you.

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In which my feelings for Jason Todd cause my heart to explode

Eight books…what is this, the second week of the month?! In any case, we’ve got a new series, the ending of an arc, and the beginning of three new arcs, so let’s get to it!

Gates of Gotham begins this week, and christ. I think I may actually like a Batman-focused book. Say what you will about Batman and Robin, but that’s a Damian book and everyone knows it. The books begins in Old Gotham, and ends on a mystery. Who are the ‘four families’ of Gotham? ‘Old money’, obviously. So, Wayne, Elliot, Kane, and..? I’m going to go out on a limb and say Falcone. The Falcones are a mob family, and who really knows how far back their influence goes in Gotham? Alan Wayne built the bridges that were blown up, and Tommy ‘Hush’ Elliot’s name is on one of them, my guess that the third bridge is named after either a Kane or this mysterious fourth family. Okay, Gates of Gotham. I’m intrigued. Carry on.

Miss Martian is starting to turn into an Omega character, I’ve noticed. This is the…third time, I think, she’s been involved in a situation where someone has tried to control her mind, been unable to, and that’s the reason the hero she’s working with is able to win. She’s been showing up as a guest star in other titles lately, too. Hmm, how likely do you think the chance is that DC will resurrect their ‘Teen Titans Spotlight’ mini-series’ and make one about Miss Martian? Oh, and I know that I’m technically talking about the latest issue of Supergirl but c’mon, who do you think was the real star of this issue?

…why does Zatanna see her assistant, Mikey, as a man in her dream? Apparently the dream is based on reality, the reality of three years past. Did Mikey…used to be a man? That’s actually a pretty neat idea, magical sex-change. I’d like to state for the record that very few people beat Paul Dini when it comes to banter. Zatanna’s exchange with the Spectre was just glorious. Oh, and on the darker side of human existence, Brother Night escapes from prison, and the detective that works with Zee sometimes is apparently his son. Crazy world we live in, huh?

The less I say about this month’s Power Girl, the better. There’s going to be an epic shitstorm tonight, ladies and gents, and frankly, I want no part in it.

Can I just say that I love Colu? And Coluans? Especially when they panic? Because face it, if you can startle the smartest, most logical beings in the universe, you know you’re one scary MF. So, anyone else getting sick of Levitz dancing around who Professor Li actually is? Obviously, she’s some kind of immortal. But who? Which one? Of what planet? Stop teasing and tell us, damnit!

You know what? I don’t think I’m going to like Flashpoint very much. Just judging from the Booster Gold crossover, I’m not saying it’s going to suck, I’m just saying that I don’t think I personally will like it.

Oh christ, don’t tell me this is going to be one of those arcs for Teen Titans. Raven’s dad is a demon. Her current body is made of the blood of devil worshippers. We get it, she’s bred to be bad, so she should naturally want to side with the demons. Blah blah blah, wasn’t this story done to death back when Johns was on this book?

And now, the moment I’ve been waiting for for months. Those of you that follow my Tumblr may have some inkling of how much I absofuckinglutely love Jason Todd. Now, my boy has been treated like shit under several pens recently (Tony Daniel and Grant Morrison immediately springing to mind), but now we’re back to basics. We’re back to the guy that made Jason Todd into the Red Hood. If you’ve read this blog in the past, you know how much I loathe Judd Winick. He can’t write women. He can’t write teams. He can’t really write interpersonal relationships. But this man knows how to write Jason Todd. His Under the Hood story, in which the character using the Red Hood nom de crime was revealed to actually be Batman’s dead sidekick Jason Todd, was the first non-Dini written Batman work I’d liked in a while. I expect this three-issue arc to be on par with that. No, really. I expect it. After shitting so thoroughly all over Power Girl and the JLI for the better part of a year, you owe us, Winick. This is it. This is your redemption for making Peeg’s secret ID a Bruce Wayne/Oracle hybrid. This is for molding Ice into some kind of twisted gypsy stereotype. This is for letting us think Jaime was dead.
I’m going to read the book now.
I’m very scared.
What the hell is Roy Harper’s head doing on Jason Todd’s body? I know this is obvious some kind of artist error, so you’re the one to answer for that one, Gulliem March. But this, this is nice. They’re talking. And Bruce’s inner-monologue brings an interesting thought to mind. Jason could ruin everything Bruce has built up, just by revealing his real name. Remember, as far as the rest of the world is concerned, Jason Todd died years ago. Bruce Wayne’s first adopted son is stone cold, worm food, gathering moss. He could tear down the entire legacy by going up to a security guard and going, “Hi, I’m Jason Todd. Want to know everything about Batman?” But he hasn’t. He loves Bruce that much. Because even though he wasn’t avenged, Bruce is still his father.
Oww no you did not just say that Jason oh god why
In case no one was paying attention to Red Hood: The Lost Days, Jason and Talia had a fling. And at the time of said fling, Damian was probably like, five. Maybe six. Jason is rubbing the fact that he had sex with the mother of Bruce’s child in his face. Don’t do this to me, Judd. I already hate you, this is just inviting some kind of verbal threat, and I don’t want to go to jail. Hnnngh, and in an instant, Gulliem March makes me forget why I’m mad. Pretty sure that if I ever found a man that looked like that, and somehow managed to enchant him with my stunning (HA) personality, you folks would never hear from me again. Jesus on wheels, Jason pump a little more iron with your thighs why don’t you! Aaaah and that ridiculous pinup pose after the yard fight…Jason Todd, will you and your bedroom eyes please report to my home immediately? Also, did anyone notice how he was reading Pride and Prejudice? Pretty sure his hand was covering the ‘and Zombies’ part of that title, but that’s just me.
…is that a T-Rex smoking a cigar while toting a sniper rifle? Whelp, thank god they showed up on the last page, because I’m a little tired of spitting obsceities. That was fucking hilarious. No, seriously, who are these guys? Where did they come from? Who was playing god one day and decided to splice a man with a fucking dinosaur? I think I need to lay down.

And that was this week in comics. If anyone needs me, I’ll be curled in a ball, crying under my covers while stroking the action figure I have of Jason Todd as Robin. I mean, I know the packaging says Young Dick Grayson, but look at those bangs. Look at those thighs. It’s Jason, and anyone who says otherwise is kidding themselves. Same time next week, my lovelies?

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If I ever form a superteam, I will call it the Crayola Cavalry

Another ten-book week?! Oh, my aching wallet!

Power Girl wraps up a two-shot with Peeg gaining a new look for her secret identity. Look out, Lana Lang! Gingers have officially made their way to the Superman family! All in all, it was a pretty basic plot. The dinosaurs from last issue were magical in origin, and Zatanna was being held prisoner by a villain that absorbed magical powers, named Siphon. A little cookie cutter, but what can you do?

I’m pretty impressed by the Zatanna creative team this month. Really, such masterful wordplay is rarely seen in comics this day and age, and I really do mean wordplay. In Symmetry, Zatanna is captured (wait, wasn’t she just captured in Power Girl? I smell shenanigans) by a villain named Backslash, whose power is to rewind time with his Fairy-powered sword. No, really. Anyway, she escapes with the power of palindromes. Wordplay! Oh, what fun, I do declare.

Well, I’m officially over the new Young Justice comic. Next book.

Ah, another part of the storyline of sin in Gotham City Sirens. Selina Kyle is asked to pull an Abraham and refuses to do it. Good for her. Next book.

I always enjoy seeing more of Colu and her inhabitants, so the fact that the mot recent Legion issue takes place on Colu made me very happy indeed. Saturn Queen is still gathering her army, Jo and Tinya are actually a pretty badass fighting team, and Brainy is, in fact, a boss. Very little actually happened this issue, so I really haven’t much to say about it.

Geoff Johns, your slasher is showing. Read this issue and tell me that you don’t see a Tumblr meme blossoming on every page. Especially after Hal and Guy exit the escape pod, hoo boy. So the boys have new rings and are ready to kick some ass! Though just putting my two cents in; I’d have loved to see Guy Gardner as a Star Sapphire. The pink might clash horribly with his hair, but just think of how dazzling he’d have looked in the assless chaps the ring would have given him!

Well, everyone’s screwed. Mogo is on the opposing side. Time to pack it in. The Green Lantern Corps is doomed. Goodnight everybody!

And so Twilight Guardian comes to a close. I enjoyed the mini, and I really hope it is popular enough to spin off into an ongoing, but who can tell. This issue, we really get to see the Guardian in action. She saves a family from a burning building and defeats the Dusk Devil, all with a slightly clouded mind, as her long-lost father is officially back in the picture. Yeah, I hope we get an ongoing out of this, I’d buy the hell out of it.

Holy shit! Okay, this was an incredibly heavy issue of Supergirl, from a fan’s perspective. Damian has offically joined the ranks of DC royalty, now that it’s been shown that his mental defenses are stronger than both Jaime’s and Miss Martian’s. But it’s his ‘deepest, darkest fear’ that has every Batfamily fan wriggling around in their seat, wanting to hug the stuffing out of him. He fears being under his mother’s control, forced to kill his true family. Please note that this family isn’t just Bruce and Dick, but Stephanie, Barbara, Tim, Alfred, and Commissioner Gordon as well. I’m going to assume the artist conveniently forgot to put in Colin and be done with that. But the real shocker is, as usual, a last-page cliffhanger. The villain of this arc? Hold onto your frontal lobes, ladies and gents, for it seems to be a clone of Dubbilex!

Tim is happier, Kara has a grip on reality again, looks like the mantle of Emo Kid has been passed onto Raven! Which sucks, frankly. I mean here they are, having a perfectly nice team-up with Solstice, and Raven has to go and ruin it by…doing whatever the hell it is she did with her powers. What was that? Energy discharge? Sonic boom? Whatever it was, it knocked those demons out. Also, way to be worried about Tim, guys. That was the worst worrying I’ve ever seen, go back and try it again. Ah well, at least next month’s Ravager/Superboy cover makes sense.

That was this week in comics. The Heroclix boys (and girl) have taken up the table, so I’m gonna head out early, hope everyone is having a good day. See y’all here next week!

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Teddy/Billy shippers, hold onto your shit

Somehow, I managed to wrangle myself ten books, and not all are from DC! One of these is a total surprise to me, mainly because I had no clue that a new Young Avengers mini was running, let alone it having a spinoff one-shot. I’m excited, but also sad. Because Knight and Squire ends today. Ah, well, let’s get to it, shall we?

As always, we start off with Fail Train. I just can’t get into Firestorm storylines. I have no attachment, no affection for the character. Except, apparently the White Lantern is very pleasant to them. Wait, what? What just happened? Heroic sacrifice from..? Okay, the White Lantern? Is a dick. Whatever happened to J’onn?! Is that storyline just…over? I demand the end of that story! No one cares about Firestorm!

The Flash in Superman is Barry, not Wally. Either way, pie is had. Moving on.

So Shrike is really…? Oh man, oh man. This was supposed to be a funny title, what happened here? Do they really have a naked hero called Birthday Girl? I mean, seriously? England, I love you. Never change. Oh my god. Squire, you’re amazing. Brilliant. Remember the truce magic at the pub from issue #1? Well, not even American villains are immune, it seems. You were a hoot and a half, Knight and Squire, I can only hope you’re given another mini, or better yet, an ongoing, soon as possible.

Ever read a comic that just causes you to sigh and shake your head? I haven’t seen any of the new Young Justice show since the third episode, and I’m okay with that. I don’t watch a lot of TV. But this comic is just…confusing to me. The entire other issue, both of them, really, was just a dreamlike state brought on by a G-Gnome that has a crush on Superboy? Well, okay. We’ll go with that. I think I’m going to try and catch up on the show before the next issue, just to be sure.

Adventure Comics as a Legion Academy book…I wasn’t sure how I felt about that before, but I guess I can roll with it well enough. This Hadru kid, I jut want to smack. Glorinth is about as naive as Teen Titans Go Starfire, with about as much power to make her dangerous. And Dragonwing…her look is seriously the only thing about her that I like. The rest of this particular arc seems like it’s going to revolve around Hadru and his genemod, and saving his family from baddies. Eh, I can keep reading, see what happens. Not particularly enthused, though.

Okay, so, this is a story set after Generation Lost? You couldn’t do a couple of stand-alone issues first, Judd? Because some of the dialogue and all of the events are kind of a gigantic spoiler alert. Though Superman initiating a conversation about Kara’s breasts is kind of funny, so you’ve got points for that. The pseudo-sexual dialogue between Kara and Nicco, however, made me squirm uncomfortably. Like, really uncomfortably. A man and a woman can interact without being realted and be friends, Judd. This has happened in the past, you know.

I’m going to be perfectly honest here. Marcus To, your art is ridiculously pretty. Anyway, to the story. This is the conclusion of that Uternet thing and in it, Tim fights the Madmen. Remember them? Psychos that fought Blue Beetle back in the day? Anyway, in the last Crisis, Darkseid got ahold of them and made them into living servers for the Uternet. And apparently, he also made them really…yeah. By the way, the cover with a bunch of men and two women throwing themselves at Tim has nothing to do with the story. It just exists to make people raise eyebrows. Ooh, but what’s this? The Uternet has been shut down…or has it? Lonnie can’t really exist in the real world, but in the Uternet, the coma patient is king.

If Marcus To’s art is too pretty, then Claude St. Aubin’s art is too sexy. I mean, he draws the absolute hottest Lobo to ever roam the hallowed halls of DC. Tony Tony Tony, why’d you have to go and change Lobo’s origin like that? Czarnians were supposed to be peaceful people, and the trait that made Lobo so different was how he was prone to violence. Ah, well. The fact that they all dressed like KISS rejects kinda makes up for the re-origining. Kinda. Man, I just had a thought that gave me chills. In this new origin, all Czarnians can regrow themselves from a single drop of blood. So…what happens when a female Czarnian goes through menstruation? Yoof. And with that thought, I’ll move along.

My first thought upon seeing the team shot in the Young Avengers Children’s Crusade one-shot: Where’s Billy? And Kate and…Tommy? Oh, the shippers are gonna shit. Anyone else pissed that we got to see Billy give Nate mouth-to-mouth before we get to see him kiss Teddy? That’s just kinda messed up. To me. This is a comic that I literally spent half the time leaning back away from the page I was reading. I’ve freaked over YA comics before, but goddamn. Now I need to find backissues of the Children’s Crusade issues before next month. I need to know what happens to my babies.

Twilight Guardian is a consistantly good book. I’m sad that it’s a mini, and that it’s an issue from over. This time around, the Guardian is going over comic samples of a comic based on her, that a publisher has been sending her. Frankly, each is more terrible than the last. Obviously, they’re trying to parody the Big Two’s take on comics, and I find that pretty amusing.

That’s this week. I’m as amazed by the early post as you guys are, honest. But I’m going to be hanging with a friend tonight, so I wanted to post before he got to me. Catch you next week!

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I may just start a Tumblr like that…except Beetles must be remember for the good times, not the bad

Oh, what a small week. Five books, one of which is guaranteed to either make me happy beyond words, or so full of rage, I begin spontaneously spewing blood everywhere. Let’s do this thing.

Larfleeze, your quirkiness is amusing beyond words. “Hairless Lex Luthor!” Yes indeed. Oh my god, is he doing a, a Gollum impression? You precious little flower. I think Glomulus is his favorite Corpsblob or something, because Larfleeze doesn’t just hug anyone. Oh my god. So he’s behind this. Of course he is. Who else could it be? I’m hoping that the reinclusion of Brainiac in Lex’s life will finally lead up to where the hell the Brainiac/Lex clone has gotten to.

Harley has snapped. I know people will argue that she’d snapped by the time she first showed up in Batman: The Animated Series, but at least she was happy then. This Harley is just a tightly-wound ball of rage and hatred in a fancy hat. A manipulative woman we’ve never really gotten to see much of before. And she wants the Joker dead. Good luck, honey. You’ll need it.

So, Peeg. You dug up one of your dead friends to prove to Dick Grayson that Max Lord was real. How does that feel? Not gonna lie, this issue made me facepalm and yell at Dick a lot. Bruce, however, was sort of awesome for once, though his whole ‘I remember everything’ sort of cemented him as DC Jesus in my eyes. In other news, Nicco, you would be an awesome liar if ladies smarter and more fabulous than you weren’t around to spoil everything. Also, I have this feeling that the next couple of issues of everything that ties into Generation Lost is going to be all Crying About Beetles dot Tumblr dot com.

My rage has flared to previously unimaginable levels. I don’t care about you anymore, Max. The sleazy, sometimes goofy businessman from times past is dead to me. I don’t care that you’re essentially a momma’s boy with a god complex. I don’t care that your mommy was in Coast City when it was destroyed. A lot of people lost their lives in a tragedy that no one could have stopped once it got started. There’s only one thing I care about right now.
Jaime Reyes had almost seven years. He was introduced during Infinite Crisis to immediately replace the fallen Ted Kord. In the seven years he was around, he had his own series, a spot on the Teen Titans, a few back-up stories in Booster Gold, and a snug place in the hearts of many of DC’s readers. His popularity only grew when he was introduced to the rest of the world through Batman: The Brave and the Bold. He was always a smart, responsible, goofy kid that loved his friends and family. He, he wanted to be a dentist so that his sister could go to college and his parents would be assured an easy retirement. And now he’s dead.
That was one of the worst things I’ve ever had to type. Who’s going to tell his family? Who is going to tell Paco and Brenda? Who is going to have to stoop down and tell Milagro Reyes that her big brother isn’t going to be coming home because a man they’ve never heard of, a man they didn’t even remember existing, killed him just like he did the Beetle before him? I can’t do it. Booster shouldn’t have to do it. No one should have to. Because this boy didn’t deserve to die.
All I can say about this entire this is this: DC, if you’re doing your whitewashing thing again by killing a minority character in order to bring in a white guy, that white guy had better be Ted Kord. Not a new character. Not a PoC. And you better not be retiring the mantle of Blue Beetle, either. You fucking bring back Ted Kord. Or I just…I don’t know what I would do. I’m way too invested in your better series’ (Birds of Prey, Batgirl, Secret Six, etc) to be able to keep a boycott of DC for even a week. I just don’t have any answers right now.

(this review was written before the above one, but moved to the bottom so that this entry would end on a happy note)
Damian, you precious flower. AUGH. AUGH. KON, TIM, MAKE WITH THE KISSES ALREADY. No, seriously. You boys need to just get over yourselves and your issues and just make the kisses happen. Well, I guess it’s 100% confirmed now then, isn’t it? Kid Eternity is even deader than he was before the Calculator got to him. How does that work, exactly? Did he just…disapparate or something? Become discorpereal? What? I mean, the character’s whole schtick is that he’s already dead, he just can’t go to heaven or hell yet. So, what’s going on? Did he finally cross over? You’d better get back to me on this, Teen Titans. I want to know. So…Tim’s back on the team, and Damian has been curbed? Well, that sort of makes sense. Dami’s only ten or so, he wouldn’t really fit in with this particular team of Titans yet. Try again in a few years, Dick. Aww, how cute. And I know people are gonna be like, he called Dick his only friend! No. He’s talking about Colin. You know, Abuse from Streets of Gotham. He and that kid are totally BFFs. Dick isn’t his friend, Dick is his substitute daddy that hugs too much.

And that was this week in comics! Sort of. Look, I know two Deadpool titles came out today but I just…I can’t follow that guy. As much as I love him and his concept, I just can’t stay interested for more than two or three issues at a time.
Oh, and speaking of Tumblr, I’ve had one of my own for several weeks now! Follow me at touchofgrey37. But as always, parental advisory is suggested. I swear like a sailor.
Peace out, you guys. Got some computer problems I need to fix. Same time next week? Swerval.

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